When a person hurts you, denies the fact that they hurt you but plays the victim and acts like you did something to them instead, this is gaslighting. Which is a form of psychological abuse.
I believe, and maybe this is the empath in me, that a lot of people do not realize the actual nature of their actions. To them it probably feels normal. it is how they grew up, or completely lack awareness. I think this makes it worse for the victim, who may be used to this behavior themselves, or may be empathetic towards the person, or even be at a level of insecurity that they naturally question themselves. But I will leave that for another post.
Gaslighting is a tactic someone can use to gain control over the other person by making the person question their own reality. Overtime, you become increasingly dependent for your sense of reality, which further fuels the dynamic. Doubting your own perceptions, memories, or feelings, and questioning their own sanity. This form of manipulation can lead you to feeling confused, anxious, isolated and unable to trust your own judgement.
Some common signs of gaslighting are:
Denying they said something, even though you have proof.
Using what you love against you. For example, they might say things like, "If you really loved me, you would..."
Their actions don't match their words.
They project. They accuse you of doing what they are actually doing.
They try to align people against you.
They tell you everyone else is a liar.
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