@mykweendom - Tumblr Blog

Hey You✨

It has been so long. ALOT and I mean ALOT has happened. I wasn't sure that I was really ready to do this again but the urge to write has really been strong so here I am.

So let's begin...

On March 27th 2021 at 12pm my Mother passed away. That was the day that I felt and truly experienced what a heartbreak was. I felt the pain physically. I still feel it. My mother was the warmest, most gentle person I have ever known. She had the biggest heart and loved everyone around her. Referring to her in the past tense is making me cry as I write this because I am still in disbelief that my best friend, the love of my life isn't with me anymore. I remember a few blogs ago I talked about how pain demands to be felt...yeah. Pain has really demanded to be felt. Grief is painful and I've tried to mask it by telling myself that she's in a better place, which I believe without doubt is true, but the pain will gnaw at you when you least expect and I've told myself that it's okay. If there was a way I could erase this pain with a snap of a finger I would but it's part of the healing process. Since my mom's passing there are so many things that I have now discovered about myself which hopefully I have the emotional strength to share with you in a future blog. There's a lot going on in the world. We are losing loved ones everyday and our hearts are constantly in a state of grief. I urge you to tell the people in your life be it friends, families, partners etc how much they mean to you, how much you love and appreciate them because life is fragile and you'll never know when that person won't be here anymore.

I have struggled throughout putting this entire blog piece together but I am glad I did it. I won't promise when the next one will be but I hope it's soon.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

From the bottom of my heart, I love you and I appreciate you so much.

K✨

#grief #healing

Big Girls Don't Cry...

Let me start by saying that this healing journey is maaaad painful! Guys. Some days I'm angry, other days I'm sad and other days I'm hurting so bad that I fear anyone getting close to me because my emotions are so unstable that I may hurt them.

The reason I titled today's blog as , "Big Girls Don't Cry" is simply because I feel that's some nyolls (Nonsense, BS). WE CRY PLEASE! Ha! Lol like even the suuuuuuper strong girls? They cry.

Sometimes I think I have my shit together and then BOOM a past trauma shows it's stupid ass face.

Recently I've been dealing with my abandonment issues. What are those you ask? Well allow me to share some things with you, darlings.

Simply put it's a form of anxiety that pretty much stems from the fear of losing a loved one i.e a parent, lover, friend etc.

Now for me this began when my dad divorced my mom 16 years ago. I never in a million years thought that could affect all my relationships. Like don't leave me fam, stay and lets work it out. LOL. But it doesn't work like that all the time. I felt my Dad legit ditched my Mom and the light in which I saw him dimmed. So that's how I felt I lost the first man I ever loved. Make sense? Because after that everything changed. I never thought it would be possible to dislike my Father. It was heavy. Don't get me wrong, I forgave the Bally but things were a bit shaky for a while.

*See previous blogs for more details*

So that is the root cause. After discovering this , I realized that I needed to work on my relationship with my Father a little bit more. More heart to heart conversations need to happen between him and I. And please don't think that I don't love my Father because I do. Our relationship isn't what it used to be but I love them and regardless of the past, he's the best Father I could ever ask for.

And that's where I'm at brethren. Crying, hurting, learning, healing ,crying some more and accepting the past and the present and truly hoping the future is better than I can ever imagine.

I love you. I appreciate you. I hope you heal just like I am from whatever you may have been through. Life isn't always smooth but I swear it does always get better.

Until the next blog post...

Stay Safe❤️

Intensive Self Care Unit ( ISCU)

It's 2021. And all I can say is "Yah neh"

Listen... I started off this year with another painful reminder of how short life really is. It's been an emotional month. My heart is extremely fragile. I have more questions than I do answers but even through this pain I choose to be thankful for so much.

Today I wanted to share something that I've struggled with for some time now and if you can relate then that's really great cause I've got some questions and maybe we can figure this out together? Okay then.

So here goes...I don't think I know how to be alone. As in without a man. Hard truth to admit. See for the first time in my life I'm actually learning to HEAL. From everything. Past traumas , past relationships etc. What I used to do after a breakup especially is look for something or rather someone to make me forget. It didn't even have to be physical but I constantly felt the need to be WANTED by someone other than the person I was with. I needed someone to define my worth. Sadly, I still feel that way at times. I still feel like having a man in my life will make me more valuable. A few days ago while I sat in my friend's car crying my eyes out I asked myself , " Why am I not good enough?". Hectic. I reached a point where I felt that perhaps no man wants to be with me and that I am not good enough for a man to stick around. The pits I tell you. These past few days, I have come to the painful conclusion that I need to seriously HEAL and not replace. Just like this conversation, I've been having very difficult conversations with myself this past week and I don't think I have ever been THIS vulnerable with myself. It's difficult I won't lie. Most nights ( like tonight) I wake up crying and trying to figure things out and I'm still left feeling empty and sad. I do know that healing is a process and that for every person it's different, I just pray that I come out stronger because right now I feel like I'm not making any progress and only getting weaker as the days pass by. If you've found yourself in the place I'm currently in I hope we make it. I hope we love ourselves so much that we never devalue ourselves, I hope we can be able to look in the mirror everyday and be proud of what a boss you are, of what an overcomer you are! I hope you become more kinder to yourself and that you invest more in you than you do in anybody else.

And also if no one has told you this...I love you and we gon be alright!

I hope the next time I'm writing I'll be in a much healthier and happier place.

Thank you for reading

K👑

A Beautiful Mess

It's almost 6am on a Saturday...I should still be sleeping but I've been longing to write my heart out for months now.

To say that this year has been the best, I would be lying to you. I have fallen apart, dealt with pain , healed, got back up and went back to being the beautiful mess that I am and then fell apart again. Lol. The cycle has been vicious! But throughout the topsy turvy of this year, I have learned some really tough but important and precious lessons.

Let's begin...

1. It's Okay To Cry...

For a very long time I always you used to say, " I hate crying."

For me , I felt as though crying was a sign of weakness and I wasn't about to let anyone see that I can be weak at times. Even when I'd be alone and the tears would start filling up my eyes , I'd tell myself to get it together immediately!

And then the most wonderful thing happened, I had a conversation with myself one day and I asked, "Kay...why do you think God gave us as humans the ability to cry?" The conversation continued with , "I mean even Jesus cried...but did that make him weak? No, it simply meant that he was human"

I was shook ( I can be pretty profound at times ya'll better appreciate me lol ) and from that moment on, I honestly and fully allowed myself to cry whenever the need arises. See, I have now starting seeing crying as a sign of strength but also a form of release and healing. Vulnerability is beautiful. That's something you must take time to understand. Don't let society tell you that having a heart of stone is what's right. No. I have come to understand that being vulnerable even with myself that I've been able to see alot of areas that I need to work on in my life to be a better human for myself FIRST AND FOREMOST and then be a better human to others.

2. Love Is Sacred

Now this was a tough one. Sometimes in life we don't take time to TRULY appreciate the people that are by our side, loving us, praying for us and cheering us on through everything. This is year I learned to honestly love people beyond their flaws. As humans we are perfectly imperfect. When a person SHOWS you that they love you and care about you don't be a prick about it. Understand that there's something they see in you. This doesn't just apply to romantic relationships even just a good ol' friendship. Not everyone is trying to get in your bed. There are some humans who GENUINELY want to be your friends and that's it.

3. Growth Is Painful

When we speak of growth it's not referring to height or body weight , we're talking about personal development. Growth is such a vital but difficult thing to go through and it's not just a once off thing...it's constant journey that we go on. Sometimes in order for us to grow we have to move away from the things and people that aren't adding to our growth. We drift apart at times as friends or lovers and what I've learned is that sometimes it's a sign that growth needs to take place. Oh and by the way, I am not a motivational speaker or psychologist or anything like that. I'm really just a young woman who is constantly learning, growing, making mistakes and fixing my wrongs.

The best gift you can ever give yourself is the chance to GROW. So much changes (as it should) but trust me the outcome is BEAUTIFUL.

4. Gratitude Is A Must

If you're reading this today it means you're alive and that my friend is something to always be grateful for. If this year hasn't taught you to be grateful then I don't know. Every single day of this year we've been hearing bad news. Millions of people have died this year. From the pandemic, others were shot dead for simply being of a specific race, others took their own lives. If you are alive TODAY, you've seen every sunrise that we've had this year then you need to be more grateful. Be grateful for your family, your job, your friends, the roof over your head, the food on your plate, the clothes on your back. Be grateful for EVERYTHING. It hasn't been an easy year for any of us but I'll say this again, the fact that you are alive means you have so much to be thankful for.

Lastly, I hope the years 2021 and beyond are better than this year that we've all been traumatized by. May all our prayers, hopes and dreams come to pass. May we heal from all the pain that we've experience and may we be able to deeply love ourselves and those around us ❤️

Thank you for reading this! I am always grateful for you taking the time to do so.

I love you 💛

K👑

Pain Demands To Be Felt

The first time I read the words, "Pain demands to be felt" , it shook my core. I had never thought of pain like that until that moment. Try as you might, one way or another we will all experience pain. The pain of losing a loved one, the pain of a relationship ending , the pain of losing your job.

I have however, come to also understand that pain can be addictive. Life throws different levels of pain at us and I feel we somehow become used to it. We become so used to it that when we experience new things e.g relationships there's a certain amount of room left for pain. We expect it because we're used to it. Even when things are going perfect, we become suspicious and expect something painful to happen and sadly it does.

For the past few weeks I've been doing a "great" job of hiding the amount of pain I've been feeling, sweeping it under the carpet and expecting it to magically disappear. As a result , a girl is emotionally done for. I've been trying to right my wrongs, start over , build trust with those I've hurt but dololo. I've experienced so many highs and lows and it all ended up in pain.

My point is basically that when you experience moments that are filled with pain....allow yourself to FEEL it. It will hurt like a bitch! But from that moment of pain is where healing begins. I won't lie to you, I'm far from beginning that journey. Very far. I wake up on most days, like today, with tears just streaming down my face. It's become normal to me. Today, I told myself that I didn't want to be strong. I wanted to fall apart and stay in that state for a while...like I truly just want to FEEL the pain.

Finally, I'm not perfect...I'm extremely far from that but these past weeks have really brought to my attention how deep Proverbs 4:23 is. I'll quote from The Passion Translation Version which says,

" So above all, guard the affections of your heart, for they affect all that you are. Pay attention to the welfare of your innermost being, for from there flows the wellspring of life."

The pain that I've felt of late has been self inflicted. I admit that. I could have avoided certain things and made sure that my heart and the heart of those around me was guarded from pain. But I didn't.

And that's where I'm at. I'm in pain and all I want to do is feel it. I want to cry, sleep, drink and repeat. You might judge me. But that's my truth and the truth is that pain demands to be felt.

The Rant

I am not myself today. After a very long time , I have just experienced a panic attack. Time check? 11:05PM , Tuesday 16th June. Obviously by the time you'll be reading this , it would have been way beyond that time.

From the title, you can tell it's about to go down. I was hoping writing will ease the anxiety I'm feeling right now but I don't know so here goes...

Why do we as humans forget that we are human? And that fucking up, falling apart, being imperfect and struggling is all part of the journey. We always stay fixated on the bad that people do and quickly forget every good thing they've ever done for us. Why? Why is it that we would rather choose to hold people over their mistakes than to honour and appreciate them for the good things. No fucking body on this Earth is perfect. Every single fucking day that we are alive , we try to be better humans. We try to better ourselves. We try to be kinder, more caring , more loving. It's not fucking easy but we try. I have spent the past weeks making sure I am better person. Facing my demons because I have come to fully understand that I'm not perfect and guess the fuck what? I'm gonna fuck up so many times before I get certain things right. I had to tell myself a few minutes ago that I'm not a bad person. There are people out there who do horrible, unthinkable, inhumane things but that's not me and that's not you either. It is very easy to say negative things about yourself. I've said alot of negative shit about myself and also allowed alot of negative shit to be said to me. I am taking time to undo all of that. It's so fucking hard guys. But I'll keep speaking life and positivity to myself because I deserve it.

Today, the emotion I feel the most is anger.

I'm angry for ever saying hurtful things to myself.

I'm angry for not loving myself enough to not realise I was hurting myself by going back to certain toxic people.

I'm angry that I thought I had to be perfect to let the world love me and accept me.

Self love is the best fucking drug. Getting high off of that shit is so beautiful.

There's a certain mantra I say every day to help get through shit that comes my way. It's in IsiZulu:

"Bambelela, Qinisela, Uzophumelela"

Basically it means, " Hold on, Stay strong, You're gonna make it"

No matter bullshit that comes our way, we will be alright. Remember that you are human and sometimes you won't always get shit right but growth only comes in when we learn from our mistakes.

Stay positive

#positive vibes

natashahamunene

Happy Self Care Sunday 🤎

Here’s a little sneak peek into my sketchbook today. For me, today has been about relearning the importance of really stripping a sketch down to its basics components. I still haven’t braced the weekend chill to get a new sketchbook but those are just excuses. So I forced myself this afternoon to love, prioritize and improve myself, though practise🖤✊🏿.

Getting the basics right is something that really shouldn’t be overlooked. Practise often comes across as unnecessary and a waste of time when you have monetizing projects you need to work on. However, like everything else, there is always a “MASTERS” level. They also weren’t joking when they said practise makes perfect.

There is always room for improvement and self care. So, with that said, there’s a relentlessness that needs to be demonstrated when we’re focused on improvement and leveling up🌱

Keep an eye out to see more of the things I have on the drawing board, in my sketchbook and …not in my sketchbook🤣.

#HAMUNATION #DailySketch #Sketchbook #ExpressionsStudy #selfcare #VisDev #Illustrator #2020SketchBook

P.S.: A huge thank you to @mitchleeuwe’s facial expression’s book and teachings that have basically changed the game for me💃🏿 (at Johannesburg) https://www.instagram.com/p/CBa0elSDuVs/?igshid=qlvdh4kumcg

Darkest Before Dawn

Hello Beautiful Soul

I have missed you so very much and I hope that you are truly taking care of yourself. Not just your body but your mind, soul and heart too.

I've been away for a while and I'm back because a girl needs to heal and writing has always helped me with that.

What I'm about to share with you is based off my recent experience and the reason I said goodbye in the previous post. There's alot of things I would like to talk about in this post today and I won't lie I have honestly been trying to put this together without crying and falling apart all over again but it's been impossible so here goes...

I broke someone's heart , lost their trust and hurt them deeply. My words did not match my actions . I am a very emotional being and I always try to do right by those around me especially the people I care deeply about. In this situation, I was the bad guy. I was the one who had hurt this person. I will not share every single detail but I will give a general overview of the situation.

When the truth came out about my actions, I did not choose to lie further but admitted my wrong doing. The person HATED me. They said things to me that I said I would accept because they were angry and were lashing out at the injustice that was done to them. However, those things that were said to me have been stuck in my head for a while now and we'll talk about that a little later on.

So I admitted my fault and apologized profusely. I couldn't look at myself in the mirror.

I was ashamed and disgusted with what I had done to a person who didn't even deserve that.

I am not the type of person who looks for comfort when I'm at fault and I really wasn't expecting anyone to agree with what I had done. I know what I did affected the person so deeply that I wasn't even expecting them to forgive me. Ever. But they did and that made me feel slightly better. However, I was now dealing with forgiving myself and self esteem challenges. I hated myself for what I did. The things the person had said to me to date are still ringing in my head and I've asked myself a million times, "Am I really those things?"

I am not at my happiest right now and I don't know when I'll be okay again. I cry everyday, I pray silently asking God to make me better again. So currently I am dealing with low self-esteem and to be honest we can all agree to this, it's easier to forgive someone else than it is forgiving yourself. My heart is not where it should be. I am still angry with myself. The reason I chose to share this is not only as a reminder to myself but to show you that what you're going through, someone else is too. Self love is a fucking journey and it takes times TIME. I am on a healing journey and some days like today I will be angry with myself or I'll tell myself that I'm underserving of good things in my life.

All I can say is fall apart as many times as you need to in order to rebuild yourself.

I hope this blog today has been somewhat of a comfort for anyone going through an extremely tough time.

Shit happens but be better for you. Just for you. The lesson that has stood out the most for me during this is that we grow from our mistakes, without mistakes you cannot experience the growth that awaits you.

I pray that the next time I'm writing a blog that I am happier, healthier and whole.

I want to say more but my emotions are already a mess right now.

Thank you for reading and I hope to be back soon

Goodbye

Hey there. I know I haven't blogged in forever and I was planning on putting together a beautiful blog this week but then life happened and it is because of that, that I have decided to stop writing for a while.

I am not sure how long I'll be away for but I hope to be back a better human. I've always used writing as a coping mechanism but this time around it's a lot harder to put together everything that I am feeling.

This blog was a safe space for me and now I need to take a break.

To those who have always taken time to read this blog, from the bottom of my heart I'd like to say thank you.

I'm about to go on a journey of self forgiveness because this human messed up big time. Once and if I have the strength to come back and share my journey with you, I'll definitely do so.

Until the next blog,

Goodbye❤️

Baby Daddy Blues

Hey loves. Today's blog is something I've debated for the longest time to put together. Then I remembered the purpose of this blog - to share my experiences of this crazy thing called life.

Based off the title of the blog, you know I'm about to get hella emotional.

I met my ex when I was 19 going on 20. I had just started life here in Zambia and had no friends whatsoever. He came to my "rescue" but fixing up my phone. He was a friend of my brother (cousin). He seemed like a nice guy. Couple months down the line I met him in a bus and he offered to pay for my bus fare and I immediately refused. There was a whole back and forth as to why he didn't mind paying and why I wasn't comfortable with that. He ended up paying. We exchanged numbers (I gave him a number I hardly used) at the drop off point. Few weeks later he sent me a text message and the rest was history. We became very good friends and then decided to try the whole dating thing.

I loved him and was confident that he was the man I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. I was very ready to be his wife one day and so when I fell pregnant a year and half into our relationship, I was scared but very sure that I was doing this with the right man. Dololo. Mans showed his true colours the day I told him I was pregnant. He was ready to kill himself and leave me to take care of the baby all alone. I am not the giving up type of woman so I carried my pregnancy with pride regardless of what my family had said to me. It is always advised for the baby's father to be present at antenatal visits but my baby daddy didn't care. He never showed up. Throughout my pregnancy he lied to me about telling his family about the pregnancy, his family organising clothes and supplies for the baby. I sadly only came to know the truth about all of this last year when our two families met. His family only came to know about my son when he was turning a year old.

That was the moment I knew I never wanted him as my boyfriend or partner ever again.

My ex and I were together for 3 years. We broke up because he was unfaithful and wasn't being a provider for his child. For the longest time he was pointing fingers at me saying I was fucking around when in actual fact it was him.

I could tell it ALL guys, every single heart breaking detail but those close to me know how fucked up things got.

Being a single parent was never something I imagined I'd be. I have so much respect for every woman that has raised her child/children on her own. This parenting thing isn't easy and shouldn't be taken lightly. I wish there were more men out there who would take responsibility for their children. Your children don't need you to splash thousands upon thousands of dollars on them for him or her to know that you love them. Taking time out of your busy schedule to spend time with them is what is so important. Find out what they love, their favourite cartoon characters, their favourite food or who their best friend is. These things matter to children.

My son turns 4 this year and I have honestly done the most! He has always been my number one priority. I always get emotional when his father raises his hopes and says he will come pick him and then he doesn't show up. The sadness and disappointment that I've seen in my kid's eyes is beyond heart breaking.

To the men out there don't be a "baby daddy" be a FATHER. Do right by your children.

Have a great weekend ya'll

Vagina Activity

Hello class. I'll be your teacher for this session and I want you all to keep an open mind about today's topic.

Is anybody familiar with the term 'Vagina Activity'? No one? Well, that's why I'm here to explain it all. Before we go further, is there anyone who doesn't know what a Vagina is? It's function? We all do? Great! Let's begin...

There are humans in this life who will want to know what kind of activity is happening with your vagina. Imagine, your OWN vagina! How? Why must you know who I have hired to service my coochie station?

Not only do they want to know, they want everyone else to know too. Fuckery if you ask me. Now last time that I checked, who I am fucking or not fucking isn't anybody's damn business. I choose who has access to my holy waters. Listen guys, never let a human who adds no value in your life be a problem in your life. These nosey fuckers have nothing to do.

My coochie knows what she likes and quite frankly she's being well serviced.

Look, if I decide to be sleeping with 3 niggas all in one cycle then that's what I want. Why is it always a problem when a woman is sleeping with nigga A, B and C at the same time and suddenly she's a whore and has no morals but if Uncle Tom is fucking majority of the women in his company then he's a fucking champ? Ya'll need to stop that shit.

As a woman, I have the right over MY body. I decide who gets touch this golden temple. I decide who will slide in these heavenly gates. Why? Because its MY fucking vagina. Listen babe, you owe no one an explanation as to why you are fucking whoever you are fucking right now. Live baby girl,LIVE!

Finally, to the men that think a woman OWES you access to her vagina you better think again. Even if you spent 10, 000 on her and she still says no to sleeping with you then you better bounce home boy and understand that she doesn't owe you her body. If she doesn't want to give you access then you don't force a girl to do so.

Any questions?

Well in that case, thank you for your attention during this session. I'll be back soon and remember YOUR vagina activity is nobody's business but your own.

Au revoir mes amis👑❤️

Simply Flaws And All...

Another day! Another blog!

Thanks again for taking the time to read this whenever you find the time to. My gratitude is eternal.

In today's blog I thought I'd share a bit more about myself and share a weakness of mine. So basically I'm a beautiful cocktail of Flaws. I'm a couple shots of overly sensitive (which annoys the shit out me), a dash of jealous (Not all the time) and heavy dose of an overthinker (Practically all the time)

That's a huge flaw for me. I seriously need tips on how to get my shit together when it comes to that. I take tiny situations and enlarge them in my head. Raise your hand if you do the same 🖐🏾Like I know it's a bad trait and believe me I am trying to not overthink. However, I have noticed that my overthinking affects my relationships (romantic ones) and honestly I'm not sure if it's because of past traumas in previous relationships but I'll give you an example of a past experience...

Me texts boyfriend at 1pm: Where you at? Blah blah blah....

Boyfriend goes online an hour or so after that and my text is delivered but he doesn't read it.

Then half an hour later I send an SMS instead and there's still no response.

Now keep in mind this man was an AWESOME communicator.

So now at this point, even though I am fully aware that this man wouldn't intentionally curve me. My overthinking ass gets into full gear and literal panic attacks happen. It's the stupidest thing ever guys! You should ask my friend Exildah, she'll tell you how wild it gets. Like how do I start thinking that a nigga is doing something dodgy or that something happened to him based on the fact that he was online an hour and a half ago and didn't respond? Do you see where the problem is? Yup. It's yours truly. I hate overthinking. So much. It drains me. Alot. I am aware that I am not the only person who has this struggle so I thought I'd share.

Now, the moral of my sharing this is that we are humans. We ALL have flaws but never allow certain flaws to turn toxic i.e Overthinking and assuming the worst of a situation.

Be aware of yourself. Know yourself. Know your good traits AND your bad traits. I have no inspirational quote to wrap this up with but I will say this...having a bad trait doesn't mean you're a waste of space on this earth it simply means that you, like everyone else, is a beautiful mess.

Have an amazing week

xo👑

What Doesn't Kill You Makes You?

Hello my loves. How are you? How's your soul today? Is that heart in the right place? Well I definitely hope so.

I woke up with the heaviest heart this morning and felt that I should share a thing or two.

Your girl here been going through the things and this morning I just wanted to give up entirely. I cried, like sobbing guys. I felt so weak. I felt like such a disappointment not just to my family or friends but to myself as well. I have had friends and family tell me how amazingly strong I am but I wish they knew how many times in a month, in a week even that I fall apart. It gets wild sometimes.

I read this quote from Ernest Hemingway that says, “The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places."

Some of you might understand this quote differently from me and that's alright but what I got from it was that firstly, you will always fall apart as a human being. You won't always have your shit together. You'll fuck up so many times that you might even lose count but secondly and the most importantly is that in the moments of brokenness you NEED to pick yourself up.

Don't feel bad for letting yourself FEEL. If you want to shed a couple of tears go right ahead. That in no way makes you come off as weak. It shows that you are human.

I hope that reading this today will make you realise that you shouldn't feel ashamed of having a moment where things don't make sense and all you want to do is cry or scream and punch a pillow or something but that in those moments you discover a different kind of strength that you thought you would never have.

I would love to stay in bed all week and just not be strong or whatever but that's a fantasy and right now I need to get my ass outta bed and go secure this bag.

Remember, you are LOVED, APPRECIATED AND THE BEST DAMN THING THIS WORLD HAS EVER SEEN!

Have an amazing week

xoxo

Queen K

Compact Bouquet vs Premium Bouquet

Please note that the following blog is NOT sponsored by Multichoice. Lol.

Hello my loyal subjects!

I'm becoming cocky huh? Okay let's try this...

Hello dear friends! Better? You don't really care do you? Sigh. Okay let's get down to business shall we?

February. The month of luuuurrrvvve. Lol. I don't want to say it's my least favourite month because my best friend was born in this month but she understands my struggle with this month.

Anyway, something dawned on me a couple nights ago and it was after seeing memes about the 15th of Feb being the V Day for side chicks. Side chicks are the "compact bouquet" and basically the wife or girlfriend is the "premium bouquet"

Need I explain further? No? But I will anyway.

See, compact isn't bad at all, I mean it has a couple channels less than that of premium but you still have a lot to watch and get entertained by. However, eventually you start to see that there are certain benefits that are only available on the premium bouquet. In the case of the side chick, it's things like vacations, PDA and even simple simple things like posting pictures of you and your "significant other". It's rough on these streets for a compact bouquet guys.

Now a premium is all that and a bag of chips baby! Is it a little pricey and sometimes mans complains and says he would rather just have a compact bouquet to save on "costs" and feel less stressed out but still ends up paying for the premium because he is fully aware of the benefits? Yes.

Ladies, what you must understand is that when you are a compact bouquet, there's no way in hell you are getting upgraded to premium. Understand that. Let it be your daily mantra. I'm not even joking about that. Because sometimes the treatment you might get from a man will be so amazing that you think you now deserve that premium spot. No Boo Boo Kitty. Stay. Understand your role. He won't "downgrade" his subscription, if he says he will that's a fucking lie from Lucifer himself.

And Men, stop feeding your compact bouquets with the bullshit of, "I wish I met you first", "If only I could go back in time", "I'll leave her so that we can be together".

Motherfucker get out here with that bullshit! Don't lie. Don't feed her that shit. Be honest with her and say, "Baby, I love my premium bouquet but sometimes it's gets a little too much for me and I'll need your compact expertise to be there to hold me down but understand that I'll never unsubscribe to the premium" or something like that.

Lastly... I am not judging any compact bouquet out there. I'm just saying understand what you are getting into. Do not be expectant of an upgrade. There is an insanely slim chance of that happening.

Dear Humans,

Hello Beautiful People!

I know today isn't Friday but I really felt the need to get some things off my chest.

*Lights a blunt* *Inhale, Exhale*

Do we as humans realise how trash we are? Do we actually take time to sit down and see how toxic we are in peoples lives.

Listen, I took time out to have a serious talk with myself and I came to the realisation that I too have toxic traits. Why? Because I am human. However!!!!! I have chosen not to allow that toxicity to spill over on those that I love and care about. I have chosen to better myself.

But sadly there are those who are toxic through and through! To the point where you don't even realise it. It's sad that you cannot see how much damage you are doing to those around you.

There's nothing wrong with some introspection guys. There's nothing with seeing whether you are the toxic person in peoples lives.

There is no way in hell that you are the one who is always right, always having your way, always the one the people must feel sorry. No way.

Now understand this, I am not claiming to be perfect, I mean I'm a fucking mess most of the time and I do some fucked up shit (Ask Tatenda, she knows 😂) but I told myself that I will not be the toxic person in peoples lives. As humans, we fuck up all the time. Every single fucking day but we are always have a choice to be and do better in everything.

So today dear humans, choose to be better. Choose to NOT be a toxic person. Choose to ooze out positive energy. It will be hard as fuck but try.

Have a good day and remember don't be an ass okay?😊

The Double Standard

Today's blog is very special because not only am I addressing some of the double standards of relationships but I get to talk about it with my big sister, Kamogelo😍

We may do a part 2 to this. So here we go!

My older sister thoughts were:

I don't want to make men feel like we're attacking them, we just want to understand what's happening in those brains of theirs.

I'm not a feminist so I'm not going try make this a pissing contest, however there are things that they do and say that I want to call them out on.

Men have issues with their women being overly friendly on socials but they're just as 'overly friendly' as we are but we don't tell them what to do. Or do we? Lol I don't know. I've found myself in situationships with niggas that be flirting and shit on their social media platforms meanwhile guy and I would be trying to be a proper thing. But mina I'd be blocking niggas left and right lol why don't niggas do the same?

To be honest, I feel the same way as Kamo. See, we are fully aware that men and women are wired differently but what are relationships all about guys? What conversations are we having with each other before we decide to commit to one another? The example Kamo has given is very common. In that scenario, the woman is expected to cut ties with her male friends that her man isn't comfortable with BUT he can keep all his female friends because according to him they aren't a "threat". Nigga! Are you a comedian? Cause those are some jokes fam.

At which point does trust begin to flow in a relationship? Because I am not going to spend every waking moment reassuring you that you can trust me and that I'm not fucking around after 2, 3,9 years in a relationship. No man. Those are games. I have a friend whose policy is, "You fuck around. I fuck around too". And that's something I had thought about in my previous relationship, I just didn't have the guts to do it.

Finally, we don't hate men. You are beautiful creatures. Are you trash? Yes, yes you are but so are women so atleast that's something we have in common.

It's been an interesting collaboration. I might try some more soon. Thanks to my beloved sister for chipping in, I love you beyond words♥️

Thanks for reading ya'll!

❤️

Soul Therapy🧘🏾‍♀

Hello my go getters! Lol where did that come from? Let's do this right...

Sup bitches! That's more like it huh?

So glad to be back!

Listen, I didn't want to start out too heavy but I think I might as you can tell from the title.

With every new year that comes, we all have resolutions of which might include losing weight, going back to school or saving up for a house or car. But how many of us tell ourselves that going forward we're going to take better care of our souls?

Soul Therapy, as I like to call it, is needed in the balance of life. A healthy soul is legit a happy one. I have spent so many years feeding and nurturing other souls that I didn't realise that my my own needed the same love and attention.

As someone who went through severe depression for years, I value the importance of taking care of my soul and where I am in my life right now, I cannot afford to allow myself to go back that place.

So if you have never taken the time to nurture your soul, I urge you to do so. Not for anyone else but just for you. This world is so toxic and if you do not find healthy ways of taking care of yourself, you will never be happy.

Sense? I hope so.

May this year be EVERYTHING you need it to be✨

#soultherapy #self love #strength

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