My Life Portfolio

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LOM - Biggest Lessons Learned

Lessons Learned:

I need to be done with preparing. I need to be doing things now.

If you never put a timeline on your dreams, they will never become attainable goals.

To approach a problem, I don’t need to have a solution, I just have to engage the problem and start doing something.

I need to define the exact uses for my money to the greatest extent possible.

If I attempt to instill a certain principle in my kids, I absolutely have to live by it.

Meaning should trump fear.

Ranking virtues allows you to get out of relativism trap.

Burn the life raft. You can only push forward if it is impossible to turn back.

We always have the power to choose how we respond to our circumstances.

Act in the long-term interest of your shareholders

One bit of advice from HBS Prof: Before you buy anything, you have to have 6-months in cash of Fuck You Money. If someone asks you to do something you’re uncomfortable with, say, “Fuck You,” and leave.

You have to define the world in which you strive to be the best

Choose your own direction. If you don’t choose, someone else will.

How sure do you have to be to move forward on something? 25% sure or 75% sure… 25% sure is usually good enough

How to obtain interviews with extremely successful people

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Class 25 - Subway Management

1.            If you had to invest in a sandwich business started by one of these front line managers, which one would you choose? Why? Be specific.

            Jessi

Sherri

Efrain

Duane

  Sherri would be my choice because she is so passionate about serving the customers well and believes in the Subway model. Her commitment to the company is apparent through her children working for the company and her ability to get to know all of her customers. She seemed supportive and encouraging as a manager, but still was focused on getting sandwiches out quickly. Her store would be the one I was happiest to frequent and, as a result, she is the manager I would be most likely to invest in.

  2.            Give an example of when you have invested yourself fully in a task or assignment. If you cannot give an example, dig deeply inside of yourself to explain why.

  When I sold books for Southwestern, I was fully invested in the opportunity. I committed myself to learning how to sell, something I had never been comfortable doing before, in a part of the country I had never been to, and completely supporting myself for the first time. I had to be fully immersed in the sales process to do well. I found that in any times I slacked even a little bit, my productivity fell dramatically. It turned out to be probably the most rewarding experience of my life.

  3.            If you had to pick someone who deserved a scholarship to Acton, and it came down to a choice between you and the front-line manager you had chosen to invest in, who would you choose for the scholarship? Why? Be specific.

  I would choose myself. I have been pursuing entrepreneurship since I was much younger and have made job choices aligned with those ambitions. I am more likely to change in the world through businesses I create than Sherri would be. Sherri knows how to run her business successfully and could have leveraged her experience into running her own franchise by now if she had entrepreneurial ambitions.

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Class 25 - Aging Well

1.            Before reading the note, Joyful Aging, imagine yourself at age 80, with all of the infirmities, indignities and loss of power that can come to someone later in life.

a.            What frightens you most about getting older?

              What frightens me most is looking back on my life and feeling like a failure because I didn’t go out and live it like I wanted to live it. I feel so much pressure to pick a ‘safe’ route and save for retirement, etc., but I feel like I will almost certainly look back on my life with regret and a feeling like I didn’t achieve my full potential. I want to see and do as much as possible. I want to help as many people as possible. I want to change the world in a dramatic way. ‘Settling’ for a comfortable life is terrifying to me because I won’t be able to leave a lasting mark on the world except through offspring.

  b.            Who have you seen grow old who has not aged gracefully?

  My aunts and uncles on my mom’s side. When I was growing up, I was always so excited to see them at holidays because I thought they were so cool and different from my own family. As I’ve grown up though, I have found them to be shockingly depressing, jaded, cynical, and disenchanted with life. They hold my own accomplishments against me as being so ‘lucky’ and feel like everything in the world is working against them.

  2.            Read the note, Joyful Aging. What surprised you the most?

              The most surprising thing was that the option to stay a kid and reject responsibility was a challenge in middle-aged people. This is something that I have felt the pressure of in my 20s, which is consistent with the 20s described in the note. I related to a lot of those, and was self-aware of them prior to reading the note, which was one of the motivating factors for coming to Acton.

  3.            Close your eyes. Take in the darkness. Imagine that you have died and that this darkness will last forever. Stay in this state, meditate on the meaning and permanence of death for the next five minutes. As soon as you open your eyes, record your thoughts.

              As I am opening my eyes, I am lamenting the short time each of us has to make an impact on the world. I can’t afford to take my years for granted and I am lucky to have the opportunity to make the world better. It’s my responsibility to do something meaningful with the opportunities I am given. My mind kept jumping back to my legacy. I want to positively impact as many people as possible and make my family and those I have impacted proud to have been a part of what I have accomplished. I want my family to be proud to have been associated with me. The burden of accomplishing something like this is almost overwhelming, but I have to keep it in perspective; I can only affect the things I have control over now and I am much more likely to make an impact on the things I am passionate about. For better or worse, that is my opportunity to leave a mark and I have to make the most of it.

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Class 24 - Significant Other Covenant

1.             I have a girlfriend now, but do not feel like establishing covenants like this is feasible or even preferable at this point in our relationship. The relationship is on a “see what happens” status right now, and we aren’t even sure that we will live in the same city after I graduate.  My answers below are how I picture establishing covenants once I am living with my girlfriend or married.

  2.            Based on what you know of the extensive time, money, and energy requirements of starting a business, identify with your partner the challenges you expect to your relationship in the following areas:

·      Personal finances – We should set a budget with long-term and short-term (less than one year) goals annually. Once a month, we will discuss to see how we are tracking.

·      Quality time together – We will commit to at least one date night ‘out’ per month, as well as at least one night with each others’ friends ‘out’ per month.

·      Household roles and responsibilities – If I’m with my current girlfriend when this gets established, she will probably not even let me be in charge of much outside of taking out the trash, etc. She’s a bit of a control freak about cleaning, which is perfectly fine with me. We will likely take turns making dinner or make dinner together, which is something that we have fun doing together occasionally.

·      Communication and conflict resolution – We will continue to be upfront and honest when we are annoyed about something before letting it develop into a big deal. I will promise to let her collect her thoughts without pressing for information before she is ready to discuss something.

·      Parenting – We will take turns reading to our kids each night. She will do the majority of the caretaking. We will make it a priority to eat as a family at home at least 2 nights / week.

·      Hobbies, vacations, and leisure activities – We will commit to taking at least one out-of-town vacation each year, not including going back to Texas for the holidays. We will continue to participate in recreational sports in our city.

·      Extended family – We will commit to spending time with both families around the holidays, ideally switching off holidays.

  3.            Agree upon at least five rules, principles, or regular practices to help address some of these trials. Start each item with the statement “We commit to . . .” Examples might be:

·      We commit to taking at least one one-on-one vacation per year.

·      We commit to creating a household budget and meeting once per month to look at the numbers and make adjustment.

·      We commit to finding fun things to do together at least twice / month (not the same as date nights), like go to shows and comedy shows.

·      We commit to being upfront about things that are annoying us so they don’t build up over time.

·      We commit to supporting each other in each of our separate endeavors. We commit to enjoy one date night together per month.

  Reflection Questions

  1.     What fears or concerns from your partner surprised you when you discussed the challenges of being an entrepreneurial family? What does your partner most need from you in order to experience connectedness to you?

a.     The most important thing I have to do when I am so focused on doing my own thing (like Acton or starting my own business) is to let my girlfriend know that I am thinking about her periodically by sending simple texts, emails, etc.

2.     Which of the promises in your relational covenant will be most difficult to keep? What is your strategy for keeping that promise?

a.     The hardest thing for me will be not pressing the issue when I can tell she wants to talk about something, but doesn’t have the words for it yet. I am pretty blunt and like to get things out in the open as soon as possible. She has a tendency to think about it for a day or so before articulating it, so even when I can tell something is wrong, I usually have to wait for a bit before I can understand that the issue is. It’s not a huge problem, but probably the most stressful part of our current relationship for me and I make it worse by pressing her on it. To get around it, I just need to drop it immediately and go do my own thing when she is stewing. My instinct is to draw closer, but I need to do the exact opposite.

3.     Are the two of you equally and voluntarily sharing the sacrifice in the relationship? Do you share a common dream?

a.     Currently, I think we are sharing the sacrifice equally. We both are pursuing our own careers at the risk of the relationship, but it’s something we have discussed openly and are aware of.

b.     We don’t commonly share a common dream, but it’s something that has been discussed and is ‘on the table’ so to speak. We are moving forward extremely slowly while we try to determine what our priorities are for ourselves and for the relationship.

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Class 24 - Dream Maker

Dreams in the Next 10 Years:

1.     Lose and keep off 20 lbs by working out regularly and eating healthier

2.     Drive down California 1

3.     Run a half-marathon

4.     Own my own company

5.     Learn Chinese

6.     Own a home

7.     Repay student debt

8.     Write more music and play it publicly

9.     Become well-known as an innovator in the music industry

10. Go to Carnival in Brazil

Reflection Questions

1.     Did this learning experience change the way you think about motivating people? If so, how? If not, why not?

a.     Yes. This book was surprisingly awesome. Maybe because of how late it was sent out, I was particularly unexcited to read this entire book this weekend and really just planned to skim it, but once I started it, I couldn’t stop reading it. It was eye opening and really helped me develop a sense of how I want to develop the culture of my own company. Enabling people to fulfill their own dreams is something I am absolutely going to pursue in my own business. I hated working for companies in the past and having to lie about what my 5-year or 10-year goals were because I knew they were inconsistent with the vision of the person hiring me. Surprisingly, this book was extremely close to what two of my most rewarding interviews of entrepreneurs have spoken about. I actually felt compelled to email them the book and recommend it to them.

  2.     Is it always possible to encourage others to pursue their own dreams without damaging a company? If so, why? If not, why not?

a.     Yes. Aligning goals of a person with the goals of a company is absolutely possible every time. If someone has goals that are inconsistent with the company, then it’s in the company’s best interest to help them find a job that will help them get further toward fulfilling their goals and their level of appreciation and long-term gratitude to you will be invaluable. Helping people achieve their personal dreams as a means of inspiring loyalty and reducing turnover is something I knew intuitively, but haven’t been able to articulate. This is exactly the kind of company I want to run.

  3.     Did you have trouble exploring and understanding other peoples’ dreams? If so, was it because you had a hard time imagining how their dreams could help you? Or because you found it difficult to talk to others about such personal subjects? Or neither?

I took the opportunity to call my sister and briefly discuss her goals. It’s a conversation I have been trying to have with her since the summer, but have been unable to articulate without making her feel pressure. The reason she was getting annoyed was because I was telling her to do stuff, but wasn’t finding a way to help her. Through this exercise, I will be contacting some friends I have in her profession of choice and attempting to get her some inroads into finding her

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Class 23 - Gratitude Experience

1.            Was it hard to read your letter out loud, in person? If so, why? How did you feel after your gratitude visit?

  I had a video Skype call with my girlfriend and read her a letter thanking her for being so supportive of me throughout this process and being understanding of my time since beginning Acton. It wasn’t hard. She loved it. She commented about how much she appreciated my gratitude. Expressing my gratitude for her support is definitely something I have let slip to some extent since school started, so this was an especially powerful experience for her ad it helped reiterate the way I feel about her.

  2.            Did this learning experience change the way you look at the world, even a little? If yes, how? If not, why not?

  This will be a very valuable exercise in the future when I am back out in the ‘real world’ in my own environment. The experience is probably more powerful for the other person than for me, which is the best part. It really strengthens the bond that the two of you share.

  3.            What or who are you most grateful for in your job or business?

  Well, at school, I am most grateful for my classmates and the perspectives they provide on cases in class.

  In my personal life I am most grateful for my best friend, who has been extremely helpful and encouraging in my entrepreneurial journey.

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Class 22 - Engaging vs. Solving

1.     Public education in poor urban and rural areas:

a.     Outcome: Level the playing field for people that receive inferior educations by providing better education and giving them the tools to succeed in college and get out of the welfare trap.

b.     Actionable Step: Donate time to after-school mentor programs

2.     Equal Rights for Gays

a.     Outcome:  Allow people to feel comfortable being different and achieve equal legal rights to marry

b.     Actionable Step: Volunteer with The Trevor Project.

3.     Environmental conservation

a.     Outcome:  Create a sustainable living environment for future generations by reducing waste and encouraging the use of renewable energy sources

b.     Actionable Steps: Lead green-team in work environment by recycling printer cartridges, establishing double-sided printing standards, using recycled paper, encouraging energy efficiency, encouraging use of reusable cups

4.     Encourage adoption as an alternative to abortion

a.     Outcome: Promote Adoption by making it easier to adopt children and reducing the social stigma of teen / single-parent pregnancies

b.     Action Item: Volunteer for adoption counseling

5.     Special Olympics

a.     Outcome: Give special needs people a sense of self worth and an environment in which they can set and achieve goals.

b.     Action Item: Volunteer for Special Olympics events.           

Reflection Questions:

1.            Pick one of your actionable steps. How would this act make a difference? How might it lead to greater levels of engagement?

  The adoption counseling one is particularly intriguing to me because it’s something I hadn’t considered before. It would help by helping pregnant teens decide to choose to put babies up for adoption instead of the traditional decision between keeping the baby or aborting.

  2.            How will you choose which causes to engage?

  I will choose based on my ability to help under the circumstances.

  3.            What are other challenges in your life, unrelated to problems in the world, that you have procrastinated addressing? Consider relationships, finance, unstarted projects, personal development desires, and other items. How might the solving vs. engaging framework help you make progress on some of those issues?

  The biggest thing that I could really do that I struggle with is working out regularly. I always say that I will when I have some time, but I never

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Class 21 - Making Amends

1.     It hit home that as much as Republicans and Democrats disagree about policies, when one wins an election that results in a shift in power, we accept it because the election was a fair representation of what the people voted for.

2.     Justice for everyone doesn’t necessarily equal amounts of success or prosperity for everyone.

3.     A person’s perception of justice is influenced heavily by the way he was raised and the societal norms around him.

4.     Justice has to fairly represent both sides. It’s unsustainable to only provide justice to one party in an argument. The size of each side doesn’t matter.

5.     Sometimes it’s better to be forgiving of someone’s actions than to inflict a punishment upon them. Justice doesn’t supersede human interactions. Example: when someone cuts you off while driving you don’t or is speeding down the highway, you don’t call the police or expect them to be punished. You just let it go and that’s okay. A world that was completely just would be awful.

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Class 20 - Steppingstone Map

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Class 19 - Charitable Giving

1.            Pick a number. Using whatever personal financial projections you might have made, decide how much you might want to give to charity or philanthropy each year by the time you are 60. Write this number down and write a paragraph about how you plan to invest this money. Be as specific as possible about your goals, whether they are charitable or philanthropic, how you will distribute the money, and how much of your time this will take.

  5%. I plan to donate 5% of all take-home pay I’ve made by the time I’m 60. At a minimum, assuming I bring home $20mm, that would amount to $1mm. Additionally, I will give 90% of my net worth away to charitable and philanthropic causes in my will. The remainder will go to my family. The types of causes I plan to give to are:

·      Special Olympics – Charity – This is something I have been heavily involved with and plan to continue my involvement with in the future. I will probably sit on a board for this organization, which will take about an hour per week and donate about 15% of my charitable donations to this organization.

·      Music Education – Charity – Example: Mr. Holland’s Opus Foundation – I believe that it’s extremely important for all children to have the opportunity to explore their interests and public schools are cutting music education all across the country. This is a tragedy and we need to support music education. I will give about 25% of my donations to this and possibly sit on a board, which would take about an hour per week.

·      Public Education – Philanthropy – I will donate about 25% of my total contributions to improving public education, with a strong emphasis on lower-income areas.

·      International Donations – Philanthropy - I will donate to approximately 10% of my donations to improving the quality of life and education of people around the world.

·      Poker – Philanthropy - I will donate approximately 10% of my donations to legalizing poker across America. This will apply to opening card rooms and legalizing online poker playing. I won’t provide support to organizations that don’t put poker in a different bucket than other types of gambling.

·      Separation of Church and State / Atheist Organizations – Philanthropy - I will donate about 10% of my donations to organizations promoting separation of Church and State in America. However, I won’t donate to any organization that explicitly wants to eliminate religion altogether. People can believe what they want, but the theocratic undercurrent in America is alarming and has to stop because it is inhibiting scientific advances and many freedoms (gay marriage, for example).

·      Other Causes – Philanthropy – I will likely donate the remaining 5% to other causes on a smaller level as the opportunity arises. Causes that come to mind are:

o   AIDS

o   Gay Marriage

o   Legalizing Marijuana and the causes that will contribute to the elimination of the drug war

o   Cancer Research

o   Catastrophes (like Haiti / Katrina)

o   Anything that supports making it easier for people to legally immigrate / attain US Citizenship

  2.            Get online. Visit www.modestneeds.org (or run a search for it). Modest Needs was created by Dr. Keith Taylor, who wanted to give away much of his personal fortune and make a philanthropic difference, without losing the personal connection of charity. Spend a few minutes reading about the organization and the FAQs.

3.            Examine. Imagine you have decided to give away $5,000 a month in increments no larger than $1,000 a person. Now click on “browse requests for help” in the top menu bar and sift through requests for assistance. Keep a careful log of the requests you examine, and include your thoughts about each as you decide whether to hypothetically invest or not invest to solve someone’s problems. Pay particular attention to any strong emotional reactions—positive and negative—and note these emotions.

  Below is a log of all the posts I viewed, including titles and descriptions, and whether I chose to invest.

  ·      Teen Chefs ABC Day Invoice

o   The charge that I have submitted is for another service that helped to make our Community Day such a big hit. An after school culinary arts class, called Teen Chefs, provided complimentary breakfasts to early morning visitors to the community event. We advertised the day as such, and it was the catalyst for many people taking the time to visit. 

o   Invest – Yes

o   I like that this supports kids following their interests and developing a skill while helping the community.

·      Disabled Child and Brother Need Bed

o   I'm a single parent trying to make ends meet and struggling with needs of my disabled child and his brothers. I'm hoping someone could help us with some beds do to the fact I couldn't purchase brand new ones we got some used ones that only lasted three months do to the fact they were old and deteriorating and are broken. Now my kids are sleeping on the floor if someone could help I'll appreciated god bless you!

o   Invest – No

o   Something about people saying ‘God Bless You’ irks me. It’s like they say it to guilt you into making a donation. This is my own bias because I got burned by a lady that used my Christianity against me to appeal to me to trust her to mail me a check after I left GA when I was selling books. Since then and my subsequent conversion, I resent when people appeal to others’ religious side to give.

·      Birthmother Needs Medical Help

o   A birth-mom that gave her child up for adoption because she couldn’t support it had a complicated pregnancy and has a lot of medical bills due to her choice.

o   Invest – Yes

o   I fully support her choice and chose to support her despite her religious rhetoric at the end of her request. She made a selfless decision that will absolutely benefit herself and the child.

·      Hospital Bill For 5 Year Old

o   I am a single mother raising my 5 year old daughter. I have not received any help from the father in over 3 years. This past summer my daughter got very ill with Henoch-Schonlein Purpura. It caused her to stay over night at the emergency room and to be admitted so that her kidneys could be monitored through the following day. I am very fortunate that in a few weeks she was well again. However, with my minimal salary covering our basic bills and necessities, I have no way of paying the hospital bill. Any help you can give to us to pay this bill we will be very thankful for. Thank you.

o   Invest – No

·      Utility Help for Senior and 1 Child

o   HIV-Positive 62-yo with a 17 yo daughter.

o   Invest  - No

·      65 Years Old - Looking For a Job

o   Former bartender is ‘too old’ to do his old job and doesn’t have any other skills.

o   Invest – No

·      Laid Off, Family with 3 Kids: Rent

o   Obviously educated family. Husband had honorable discharge from military. Both husband and wife were recently laid off with 3 young children and the husband is pursuing a degree.

o   Invest – Yes

o   These people need a safety net. This is exactly the kind of situation I am terrified of getting into myself due to my selfish entrepreneurial aspirations. Respect that he was in the military, too.

·      Divorced Dad Needs Rent Help

o   Divorced dad with 4-year old lost his car in a divorce and now has no means to get to work.

o   Invest – Yes

o   Marriage is a huge risk. The fact that he ended up with custody of the child says a lot since it is usually assumed that the wife will end up with custody. I am presuming the situation with the wife was bad. The fact that she ended up with the car and he can’t work without one is tragic.

·      Single Dad Needs To Escape MOLD!

o   Title pretty much sums it up.

o   Invest – No

o   Religious Rhetoric.

·      College Mom - Rent Help

o   I recently loss my job when my car quit running. I am a full time student and mother and I am currently changing careers. I had to get a student loan for repairs and now I am behind on rent. I need help with one month's rent and the late fee. This help will allow me some time to secure another job. I will be caught up and I can begin making monthly payments again on my own.

o   Invest – Yes.

o   I have a soft spot for young, single moms trying to better their lives after my experience with Southwestern. These people work so hard to make ends meet and to be in college while doing it would be an incredible task.

·      Disabled Mom with Autistic Child

o   Severely depressed mom with autistic child living with neighbor. Hasn’t been able to work since December 2009 due to loss of use of arm. No health insurance.

o   Invest – No

o   I felt really compelled to say yes to this one, but I already had $5k committed and the request ended with religious rhetoric. I do feel terrible for the child though. And the neighbor. Hopefully the child can be moved to another home of a family member or something.

  5.            Reflect. Look through the donation log you began in step 3. What do the requests that you approved have in common—especially those for which you had a positive emotional response? What do the requests that you rejected have in common—especially those where you had a negative emotional response? What were the hardest decisions you had to make?

  ·      Commonalities

o   All donations were made to people that are attempting to better themselves and their families. Even in the case of the birth-mom, who made a difficult decision to better the life of herself and her child.

o   All donations were made to people that were hopeful and still had time to better themselves and seemed to be proactive about doing it.

o   I invested in people I connected emotionally with or felt

o   Negatives

§  Almost every single one I declined was due to the requestor appealing to the donator’s religious guilt to donate. As discussed above, I hate that.

    6.            Think bigger. Now imagine that you had—instead of $5,000—$50,000 a month to invest in philanthropic or charitable efforts. How would you handle it? Be as specific as possible.

·      I would not donate it to individual people, but would contribute it to causes that I support. I am much more compelled by organizations supporting a ‘greater good’ than by individual cases. I would distribute the $50m exactly like I described my donations in #1 above.

  7.            Investigate your motivations. Is it better to invest—either charitably or philanthropically—based on emotion, or reason? Is it different depending on whether you plan to practice philanthropy, or charity? What did your decisions in individual cases say about you and your entrepreneurial journey?

·      It is better to invest based on reason, especially when the cause is philanthropic. In the individual cases, I was much more compelled by emotion, which is why I would favor investing the $50m based on reason. There were tons of deserving people on that site, so my ability to reason out my donations was hindered by the number of choices. Of course I would pick those that I felt most emotional about. From a more macro perspective, I would be able to pick causes that I truly believed were right and served the needs of America and the World.

    Reflection Questions

1.            Will you focus your excess funds on philanthropy, or charity? Why?

·      Almost all of my causes are focused on philanthropy. This is because I believe that we have the power to make the world a better place and it is incumbent on all of us to do just that. Charitable causes are also great. I especially like the Special Olympics because it gives a certain group of people a meaning for their lives in a world where they often feel under-appreciated and inadequate.

  2.            How will your decisions about philanthropy and charity reflect on the three questions that principled entrepreneurs tend to ask near the end of the journey: “Did I contribute something meaningful? “Was I a good person” And, “Who did I love and who loved me?”

  ·      Philanthropy is a significant opportunity to make a dramatic impact on the world and I believe that my primary purpose is to leave the world better (in my opinion) than I found it. It’s incumbent on those that are fortunate to raise the education level and opportunities to succeed to less-fortunate people. This is the essence of what it means to contribute something meaningful. This is the reason I don’t just play poker for a living. This is the reason I am at Acton now.

  3.            What steps, if any, will you start taking today to enhance your charitable or philanthropic giving?

·      I will absolutely get involved in the community again as soon as I graduate from Acton. I won’t contribute significant donations until I am able to financially as I expect to be in a relatively tough financial situation when I graduate, but I will absolutely begin donating my time again.

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Class 18 - Family Credo

Pearson Family Credo:

“Pearsons pursue their passions.”

Family Mission:

Our family mission is to love and encourage each other through all times, thick or thin.

Reflection Questions:

1.     What did you learn about your family or views on family in this exercise?

a.     I learned that I need to define the way my family will interact with my partner before committing to marriage or starting a family.

b.     I need to be deliberate about the way the family interacts.

c.     I need to define the values for my family.

2.     What are the pluses and minuses of having a family credo, mission statement, and a rallying cry with a plan to make it a reality?

a.     Plus

                                               i.     Establishes a way of thinking in the family to which every can hold each other accountable

                                             ii.     Establishes a unifying theme in the family

                                            iii.     It gets kids involved in the goal setting process early.

b.     Minuses

                                               i.     Could take away some flexibility

                                             ii.     Could make things feel like obligations that people should want to be

3.     On a scale between 1 (no way) and 5 (absolutely) what are the chances you consistently will use these tools in your own family?

a.     4. I will absolutely be deliberate about the way my family interacts with itself and allow my children to be involved in the process.

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Class 17 - Clearness Committee Feedback

After thanking your Clearness Committee, write at least two paragraphs about the experience, including:

  My Two Questions:

1.    Should I choose a record label, where I can get in on the ground floor of the way the music industry has worked historically and work directly with artists, should I choose a silicon valley startup trying to change the way people experience music and make money at it, or should I go for the progressive, established company that will likely pay better, but potentially stifle my entrepreneurial growth / make me comfortable with a higher standard of living? 

2.    How much should money affect my decision on location? If I go to NYC and work for the indie label, I will likely make the least money, so should I take that over the Apple opportunity if I am offered both? What priority should I place on money?

  My Panel:

·      Gail Ow

·      Nick Dyer

·      Peter Kirby

·      Matt Sparks

  What I learned:

·      I am very concerned about how my school debt will affect my standard of living. Even with the Acton fellowship, the idea of paying $300 / month in school loans, 10% of my salary, and then all of my living expenses will make my standard of living decrease substantially, which makes me more inclined than I would like to be to take a higher-paying job.

·      I need to focus on Rdio over the other two companies (Apple and Family Records) I have identified.

·      The culture of Rdio (founded by a Skype founder, imeem exec, and Kazaa founder) is extremely appealing to me because they all stand for going against the grain so much and pushing industries forward in new ways.

  Accepted Challenges:

·      Discuss with my girlfriend how our relationship will be affected by my decisions.

·      Try to get a Stars & Steppingstones Interview with a founding member of Rdio.

·      Begin to look at more music startups that are pushing the industry forward.

·      Apply to Apple now to get foot in the door.

    Reflection Questions:

  1.    What was the single most surprising thing you heard from yourself or one of your committee members? How can you explore this further?

a.    The most surprising thing I realized is my propensity to fall back on a ‘safe’, high-paying job if I was offered on in the music industry vs. a low salary at a label.

b.    I need to determine how each job will help me get to the place I want to be.

2.    If time and place were not an issue, who in your life would have been the ideal Clearness Committee for these two questions? How might their questions have been different?

a.    Chris, Mark, Jessica, Pat, Ryan, Evan, Justin.

                                               i.     They would have been focused more on my relationships and how my decisions would affect them. They would have challenged me to nail down exactly what my long-term goals with each job would be.

3.    Do you reach out for help enough when you are evaluating options or making decisions? What are the barriers to getting the kind of insight you need?

a.    Almost too much. I ask every one of my trusted, close group of friends and talk to them extensively about it, usually multiple times. This process is very similar to how I normally approach big decisions.

b.    The biggest barriers are that nobody that I’m close to fully understands the music industry, so they can’t provide insight on it or how it will affect me. To have tangible insights, I need to reach outside my primary group.

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Class 17 - What Do You Want to Be?

1.       What themes does your mind wander toward the most? What does that say about your real desires?

a.     The most common themes surround music:

                                               i.     Exposing a new band that becomes wildly successful.

                                             ii.     Being a performer myself.

                                            iii.     Running a company where I am challenged constantly and making good, quick decisions.

                                            iv.     Being able to just take a few days off / relax when I want.

  2.       In what ways are your daydreams unhealthy? Are you escaping into a fantasy world in order to avoid reality? What do your daydreams tell you about real world problems or worries you need to address?

a.     I daydream too much. I have grandiose ideas or don’t ground my daydreams in reality. It’s nice to think about relaxing but the fact is that I don’t have time to relax or even think about relaxing.

b.     I definitely don’t think I am avoiding reality.

c.     I need to layout a plan to get where I want to be. LOM S&S has been very instrumental and helping me narrow my focus.

3.     Daydream about your current career direction. Extrapolate out five or ten years from today. How close do you think you will be to living the life pictured in your daydream exhibit? What course corrections do you need to make?

a.     Through S&S, I am definitely making positive steps forward to reaching my goal.

b.     In 5-years, I expect that I will be in the music industry and, if I’m not running my own company yet, I will at the very least have established valuable industry relationships that will help me facilitate building my business when I do go out on my own.

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Class 17 - Unfulfilled Dreams of Parents

I interviewed my father for this assignment.

1.      What’s your definition of success?

a.     Make a living for your family

b.     Be respected by your family and community

c.     Be able to go home and say you contributed you something positive

d.     Live a Christian life

2.      Why did you choose the career path you ended up with?

a.     Because my father was a successful construction superintendent and I saw the good life that he had and was drawn to build things.

b.     Forced into it at an early age because I didn’t have a job. When I was 19 – went into welding and loved it.

3.     What do you wish you had accomplished that you have not been able to yet?

a.     To own an airplane

b.     To be a successful cattle raiser

4.     What do you hope that I accomplish? What is your definition of success for me?

a.     To be a successful man who enjoys what he does for a living

b.     Has a good wife

c.      Live a good Christian life

d.     Happy

e.     Hope you accomplish happiness in your work and a good woman in your life.

5.     What career do you think I am best suited for?

a.     Best suited working for myself in whatever business I choose. Delegate and manage tasks.

b.     Pressed to pick an industry:

                                               i.     An investor – but not really a numbers guy

                                              ii.     Emerging technologies – something that hasn’t been done before.

Reflection Questions:

1.       Compare your definition of success with that of your parents’. How is it the same or different?

a.     Similarities:

                                               i.     We define success in similar ways: I want to be able to provide a living for my family, be respected, and live a moral life.

b.     Differences:

                                               i.     Christianity is completely unimportant to me. The fact that I want to lead a moral life by my own standards has nothing to do with my religious views.

                                             ii.     I also want to contribute something more to the world. I want to leave a legacy larger than my immediate family or children.

2.       Name your parent’s picture of your ideal future. Who are you? What are you doing? What are you experiencing? What have you managed to avoid?

a.     My parents basically just want me to be happy.

b.     They want me to be married sooner than I am ready to be so I can give them grandkids asap. I have definitely avoided this so far.

c.     My dad fully expects me to be an entrepreneur. The entrepreneurship thing is so prevalent because I have talked about it for so long. The entrepreneurship theme trumps any industry he expects my involvement in.

3.       Which of these expectations do you truly want for yourself? Which of these expectations may never happen? Which of these expectations do you need to discuss with your parent?

a.     I want to be happy and to be an entrepreneur.

b.     The marriage thing may not happen, and my parents don’t expect me to rush it. However, it will probably come later than they want.

c.     They know I’m not particularly religious, but they probably expect a level of religion higher than I will ever be able to deliver.

4.       In what ways has/does your parent project their unlived dreams on you? What’s the best way to respond?

a.     None really. Mostly, my dad projects the same successes he has had: a marriage and a Christian life. Those are things that I may not deliver on, but my parents are aware of it.

5.     How will you avoid projecting your unlived dreams on your own children, should you have them? How will you encourage them to find their own callings?

a.     My biggest priority will be to not project my own beliefs to my own children. I don’t want to indoctrinate my children via religion.

b.     I want to encourage my kids to pursue things they enjoy. This is something that my parents didn’t do too much of. They saw that I had an ear for music at an early age, but never signed me up for piano lessons or anything. I was pushed into sport, which I never excelled at. I will encourage my kids to develop a base of certain basic skills – reading music, athletics – and then support and encourage them to pursue whichever activities they choose for themselves.

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Class 16 - What Price Will I Pay?

1.     Describe a situation where you stood up for a fundamental principle –justice, dignity, truth, etc. –and now regret the cost of your action.

a.      This question was extremely difficult. I have frequently been described by others as “Having the courage of my conviction” from an early age. The times that I have most publicly stood up for something I believed in, regardless of the outcome, have been extremely valuable sources of pride for me.

b.     With that said, the only thing that comes to mind is when I was in 5th grade, I had to write a paragraph about a book. The general idea of the book was this:

                                                                 i.     Elsie, a fat girl from out of town, started at a new school.

                                                               ii.     All the kids made fun of her.

                                                              iii.     Everyone learned a lesson about bullying.

c.      The assignment was to write a paragraph explaining how we would have treated Elsie differently. My paper was something along the lines of:

                                                                 i.     This book is fictional.

                                                               ii.     Nobody makes fun of someone just for being fat, they have to be annoying or mean, too. Then the ‘fat’ thing gets thrown in.

                                                              iii.     Nice or funny fat kids can be popular. At the very least, they will at least have some friends. Not everyone will hate someone unless they are just bad people.

                                                              iv.     This would never have happened in real life.

d.     I was subsequently sent to the principal’s office for my stance in my paper because I was perceived to not take the assignment or bullying seriously. I got in a lot of trouble for simply writing my perception of a paper, which taught me to just basically give teachers what they want, not what you actually think.

e.      The whole ordeal was unnecessary and it was not worth all the trouble I got into.

2.     Describe a situation where you didn’t stand up for a fundamental principle and now wish that you had. What do you now wish that you had done? Why didn’t you do it at the time?

a.      One time that I consistently ignored my fundamental beliefs was when I was dating a very Christian girl in college. I loved her and was afraid that we would break up if I stood up to her intolerance of other religions, despite the fact that I very passionately believed that people should be able to believe what they want. Anytime another religion was even mentioned, she would respond negatively about how people were putting their faith into false idols (ironically, exactly what she was doing) and comment in only slightly nicer words that they were going to hell. I never stood against her at the time because one of the things that initially drew the two of us together was our religion (when I was a freshman at A&M, I was still trying desperately to fit myself into the Christian mold). I couldn’t stand up for what I actually thought without sacrificing our relationship. Religion was what ended up breaking us up in the end, but I wish that I could have stood up for what I believed earlier to either A) draw her away from religion so we could still be together, because she was almost perfect besides that, or B) get out of the relationship quicker so I wouldn’t have wasted so much time.

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Class 15 - You Can Count on Me

1. Write a list of five general promises you will make to someone to whom you feel loyalty. These are five benefits they can expect from you in business because of the nature of their relationship with you. Examples might include:

I promise to not hide bad news from you. I promise to fully understand and consider your ideas. If I disagree with them, I will take the time to explain my reasoning to you because you are my friend. I promise not to harbor ill will toward you and will speak to you immediately if there is something between us.

  ·      I will always be upfront and honest about concerns in the relationship

·      I will defend your actions to outsiders that don’t know you as well. Anything I can’t defend will be brought up to you before I respond so I can understand your reasoning.

·      I will fully consider your input on my own pursuits and ideas

·      I will take your side in disputes as long as the side does not conflict with my own values

·      I will be upfront about how others perceive you, regardless of whether the perception is favorable.

  2. Now write five general boundaries you will not cross in business, simply because you feel loyalty to someone. Examples might include:

• • •

I will not jeopardize the financial health or reputation of my firm in order to help you. I will not show favoritism to you over others if they are more qualified than you are. I will not lie, deceive, or break the law on your behalf.

  ·      I will not break the law to defend you.

·      I will not defend you in instances that you interfere with my girlfriend or personal life.

·      I will act in the best interest of the company, regardless of your input.

·      I will not defend or support you in any activity that will significantly put my net worth at risk.

·      I will not feel compelled to tell you every detail of my life, but just the things you need to know to make an informed decision.

  3. Present your lists to a friend, colleague, or family member who you would consider doing business with. Ask them:

  The level of loyalty is mutual between my friend and I. We have already discussed out loyalty to each other at length in the past as well.

  4. Write answers to the Reflection Questions in your journal. This exercise will take approximately ninety minutes.

Reflection Questions

1. Are you more loyal or less loyal to others than they are to you in business? In personal dealings? Why?

  I am ridiculously loyal to people that I have respect for, many times probably more loyal to them than they are to me. However, I have a close-knit group of people that I have defined the boundaries of our loyalty in the past. I have a general propensity to trust people quicker than I should and to be too optimistic about the prospects of a friendship or business relationship. I have to hone in my optimism when meeting new people.

  2. For whom will you be most tempted to make exceptions to your loyalty boundaries?

  My best friends that have been loyal to me for so many years. I have a general disposition to defend my friends in any situation, but I have to remind myself that when people close to me act outside of the law, I cannot put myself or my other friends at risk.

  3. Will you share these lists, or ones like them, before you enter into a business arrangement with someone previously in your life? If so, when and how? If not, why?

  Absolutely. These are the kinds of lists that are integral in creating a clear upfront contract with each other. Clearly defining your business relationship, especially if you are close friends, will help each one of you from stepping over the line and clearly define expectations to hold each other accountable.

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Class 15 - Biggest Loyalty Dilemma

The biggest loyalty dilemma I have faced is when I found out my closest cousin, who had become a burlesque dancer in Dallas, was planning a ‘charity’ benefit for her sister, whom she claimed was sick and had no health insurance. However, her sister was fine and she was raising the money for herself. What should I do? Be loyal to the cousin I have been closest to since I was a baby or blow the whistle on her to her family because of this obvious fraud.

I chose to blow the whistle, anonymously, and subsequently cut almost all ties with my cousin. I was shocked by the exploitation of her sister, to whom I am not very close, but I still felt a need to do what was right and alert the family and get the benefit called off. I wanted to do it anonymously so that my cousin wouldn’t cut me off and I would be able to continue to follow her and see if any other events exploiting others came up, not to keep ties with her. It was a tough decision since it wasn’t my business, per se, and she was also the cousin that I knew better than anyone else in my family.

It turned out for the best for me and the family, minus my cousin that was planning the event. I actually grew closer to her sister and my own sister as a result of my actions, despite their lack of knowledge of my involvement. It brought the family closer and almost established a higher sense of loyalty between all of us against my cousin.