Everything was fine in the beginning. Gazes would be held, space wasn’t a word in our dictionary. Small touches came with every breath, kisses with every gaze. We didn’t have to talk because our love filled every corner of silence. There was no lone I, it was always we, us. You couldn’t say his name without mine.
We were in love.
Eventually, however, gazes became filled with something else. Our small, gentle touches became harsh and rough, kisses stopped. Silence and emptiness slowly began to fill my heart.
My, mine, me became everyday words.
I thought I had done something wrong, so I tried to fill my gazes and touches, anything I could, with love. The love I thought we shared. It got to the point I would try to do every little thing he asked of me. “Clean this before I get home.” “Make me something to eat now”.
I kept loving him though.
I kept loving until I felt like that all I had was the hope that I would eventually jump-start his heart again to love me back.
Until…
I came home one evening from the market and noticed an extra, random pair of shoes next to the door. I heard his beautiful voice fill the room with laughter and another one that wasn’t mine say the words that should have only left my lips:
I love you
Time slowed and my heart felt different, it felt an empty… like…
he took all my love now there’s nothing…
just an empty hole.
How can ever love again?
Everything is gone.
I realized I made the worst mistake:
Putting every ounce of love I had into someone…
who never loved me.
