“The summer I met you, I drank enough gin to fill a bathtub. True story. True story. Twenty years spent checking closets for Narnia doesn’t teach you moderation, That comes later After a lot of puking. So, I’m lucky I had you to hold my head. Those days I lived like I was on fire, Burning the candle from all sides. Gin is the mother’s milk of bad decisions, and I never got myself weaned. Everybody asked me what I was running from They would stand on the sidelines wearing masks of concern, cartoon mouths stuck in the shape of “slow down,” and, I wouldn’t. I’ve never put much faith in warning labels and you were the only one who understood. I wasn’t running from anything, My legs just never stopped to ask what else they were for. That summer we collided, I changed my name to freight train, just so I could keep up. I thought I was trouble, but YOU were trouble With a capital T, underlined twice. When I asked about the axe beside your bed, you answered zombies, like it didn’t need explaining. You set me off like a sixth grade kid sets off fireworks: as often as possible just to see if he can get away with it. You moved fast enough to make Einstein weep, and my God, it was beautiful. We made love furiously. Clinging to each other, like the frenzy of our bodies could break the sound barrier. On the night that we did, you told me you loved me. Your voice rattled like a steam engine, to this day, I have not heard a sound so sweet. It was dangerous to love you. Locomotives trade their hearts for coal to keep moving. I knew someday the tracks might have my name on them so I learned to hold on, tightly, learned to grip love like a vice. Made armor from the bones of all the the women you’d run down, determined to be different, to learn what they hadn’t. I would keep you, had to keep you. Never leave me, never leave me, never leave me, never leave me, This is the sound I hear whenever a train passes. The soft animal inside your body will tell you to turn your back on your biggest disaster and run as fast as you fucking can. And I hope you notice me walking. Twenty years spent dreaming of a love like the movies doesn’t teach you how to heal when that love combusts. So I’m lucky, I had you to show me.”
germansingergirl
vaporwave
2087
