*S

30. Arab. she/her. Feminist. Queer. Theatre lover. Music fanatic. Literature enthusiast. Unstable, yet balanced.

[greelin]

“so you only like men who would probably kill you?” no i also like women who would probably kill me too. On account of my bisexual nature

[greelin]

i think i just want to be killed to be honest

[111lustforlife]

maybe i was meant to be unlovable.

[shesmanic]

[mymellowbrightside]

....I've forgotten how to be with women!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

[hrjrjj]

[mymellowbrightside]

Good dog

[mymellowbrightside]

Well

Just had a meltdown/breakdown/episode

I'm now single, unstable, vacant...scared

Hasn't been quite like this in years

...

I don't know what to do, what's next

My head is killing me though

[mymellowbrightside]

*screaming into the abyss*

[mymellowbrightside]

Seeing sexts with my exes fucks with me

I was sexually driven, and my partners were, too

Now nothing.

[mymellowbrightside]

He loved me differently

I knew it

I wasn't imagining it

[zeytzeytun]

I have very strong sense of self because I never belonged anywhere

[mymellowbrightside]

Oof this ^

[mymellowbrightside]

If I feel alone while I'm here

How bad will this be when I'm gone?

[mymellowbrightside]

Do women just love harder than men?

Why do I still feel unloved/undesired?

[iandory-deactivated20250324]

I want to worship her body as she rides me. I hold her hips and feel the way she's lifting herself to get pleasure. I want to run my hands along her body and feel how warm she is getting. I want to kiss her chest and feel her heart racing under my lips. I want tobrest my face against my breasts and smile as she gets closer. I want to hold her close as I just sit there and wonder how the hell I got so lucky

[mymellowbrightside]

This makes my heart sad

[midnightmillie]

date someone who is interested in you. i don’t mean someone who thinks you’re cute or funny. i mean someone who wants to know every insignificant detail about you. someone who wants to read every word you write. someone who wants to hear every note of your favourite song, or watch every scene of your favourite movie. someone who wants to find every scar on your body, and learn where they came from. someone who wants to know your favourite brand of toothpaste, and which quotes resonate deep inside your bones when you hear them. there is a difference between attraction and interest. find the person who wants to learn every aspect of who you are.

[ur-daily-inspiration]

[niunvheriv]

emix , i am afraid of the day we wake up and one of us is not in love anymore

[mymellowbrightside]

I sometimes wonder what really triggered my BPD. Was it my mother? Was it S? Was it me? Was it little me, having revenge on the part of me that wasn't strong?

Is it every single day? I'm so much better, but things are still hard, just a different kind of hard. Did I get better? Or have I just...habituated? Ignored?

Everything I'm feeling now, is it BPD, is it anxiety, is it falling out of love, is it falling in love with myself (lol nah), is it stress, it is fears, what is it? Where is it coming from?

How do I address this? Is there a way for this to not hurt?