A Time Cabsule

this is not for anyone to see or appreciate,, this is just for me. a cabsule-full of my dreams, memories, and disappointments.

[mymemorylane]

Work attire?

[mymemorylane]

Raml Station

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Some other day

[mymemorylane]

Oct 2025

[mymemorylane]

[mymemorylane]

They say karma is a bitch, but i don't agree, Karma is what you make it out to be, and what you do is gonna come back to bite you, so if you're a bitch, then karma is gonna be a bigger bitch, and if you're an angel, karma is gonna be an angel, it'll hold a mirror to reflect the vibes that you put out into the world back at you. Bottom line is, karma is you.

[mymemorylane]

[mymemorylane]

Best metaphor I've ever heard about self development was this of a car that you're driving, and your feelings are in the seats, some of them might take over and drive for a while, and you should learn how to take back over because you should always be the driver.

The best approach is to keep the bad feelings in the back seat, and the good one's in the passenger to navigate you. Some feelings need to be bonked on their head, tied up and gagged and kept in the trunk. They should not have a vote in where you're headed.

[mymemorylane]

Journal entry from June 2nd

My Higher Self

One might sugar coat it, rather twist and say "oh i was passionate, I was exciting and free spirited." I know what I was, I was a young woman, I was a raging fire, unruly and destructive, beautiful from afar, but you wouldn't want it near you or it will eat everything you've ever worked for

Now, I'm a river, older and wiser, cool and soothing, free spirited, for real this time, i sway my own way, sometimes calm, and others tidal, i could sink you, I could drag you into a rock, or instead take you somewhere worth your while.

I'm no longer looking for happiness, I'm just looking for salvation, some type of conclusion, and somewhere to rest my head, maybe a patch of grass or a bed of flowers, or maybe a velvet couch infront of a crackling fire, or in a motel room on the highway where i can hear so many souls passing me, yet can't hear a single life.

[mymemorylane]

Journal Entry From 31st Of May

On Weaknesses

Something about me is when I expect a peer to not accept something i would, be it a work peer, a partner, a same age person, or a woman like myself, i think "why am I accepting this? I'm not less than anyone". I have that conversation in my head before hand and automatically reject that thing that I feel like less than if I accept it, this way I come up on top of the whole situation, even if this thing is convenient for me. This is one of my many flaws.

To accept something because it's convenient even when it's socially frowned upon or rejected, is not something to be ashamed of, conforming to heard mentality is.

Another thing is that i don't know how to live with my guilt, i don't know how to make the right choice and deal with it's consequences, I don't even know how to let things be when i know someone is not happy with a situation where i have the upper hand, thats why i choose to be that someone that is hurting. I can't live with my guilt so I'd rather live with my misery instead, and that's my biggest weakness.

Learning to live with guilt is a superpower to me, strictly speaking about situations where it's the actual right thing to do. you make the right decision regardless of your tendencies to people please. They're adults, they're gonna get over it, it's not your responsibility.

[mymemorylane]

One Summer Day

[mymemorylane]

I was a hopeless romantic...

I don't know what happened,

now I'm just hopless.

[mymemorylane]

Journal entry from December 2021

The search of our lives in its essence is merely Us seeking out the scents of our childhood, every time we lose ourselves, we go running back to what makes us feel like this again, the taste of excitement we used to get and the newness of the emotions we used to feel

[mymemorylane]

[mymemorylane]

[mymemorylane]

Intentions

I intend to throw the whole old book out and become a newself, Not just turn on a new chapter, and that starts with a new mindset & self-concept.

Self remake is the name of the game, I intend do the unusual thing, and do the things that I'm most uncomfortable with.

I won't be scared anymore, nothing wonderful comes out of sheer fear or anxiety. I'll talk to people even if I don't want to, I'm missing out on too many opportunities for great friendships.

[mymemorylane]

Haze, ghosts, and blur.