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@mymindisapoet
#bedcore is giving me life actually yall are fucking weird â€ïž
Katara is a much better person than I am because if my mother died with me knowing she loved me I'd never shut the fuck up about it
Cigarettes and tiny liquor bottles...
My ashtray disappeared and im p sure my gottagecore neighbor is teaching the ravens to steal pretty glass for her
you have to give up one of these foods forever. pretending that all these can be sourced ethically, without harming the environment, animals, or people, and that you have no allergies or adverse health effects to any of them, which one goes?
eggs
potatoes
chocolate
cheese
garlic
those of you voting against eggs are dead to me
I voted against eggs before I read your reply and god struck me dead
RoyalPrincessAliceæ§ăšăźăłă©ăă§æăăăŠăăă ăăŸăă
https://royalprincessalice.net/
new fun trend: take this quiz and tell me your score
push yourself to get up before the rest of the world - start with 7am, then 6am, then 5:30am. go to the nearest hill with a big coat and a scarf and watch the sun rise.
push yourself to fall asleep earlier - start with 11pm, then 10pm, then 9pm. wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable.
get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and squirt way too much lemon on it. sit and eat it and do nothing else.
stretch. start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. roll your head. stretch your fingers. stretch everything.
buy a 1L water bottle. start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice.
buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. no detail is too small.
strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear draw into the washing machine. put a massive scoop of scented fabric softener in there and wash. make your bed in full.
organise your room. fold all your clothes (and bag what you donât want), clean your mirror, your laptop, vacuum the floor. light a beautiful candle.
have a luxurious shower with your favourite music playing. wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth. lather your whole body in moisturiser, get familiar with the part between your toes, your inner thighs, the back of your neck.
push yourself to go for a walk. take your headphones, go to the beach and walk. smile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. bring your dog and observe the dogâs behaviour. realise you can learn from your dog.
message old friends with personal jokes. reminisce. suggest a catch up soon, even if you donât follow through. push yourself to follow through.
think long and hard about what interests you. crime? sex? boarding school? long-forgotten romance etiquette? find a book about it and read it. there is a book about literally everything.
become the person you would ideally fall in love with. let cars merge into your lane when driving. pay double for parking tickets and leave a second one in the machine. stick your tongue out at babies. compliment people on their cute clothes. challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for a whole day. then two. then a week. walk with a straight posture. look people in the eye. ask people about their story. talk to acquaintances so they become friends.
lie in the sunshine. daydream about the life you would lead if failure wasnât a thing. open your eyes. take small steps to make it happen for you.
This is all really good advice for dealing with long term depression and anxiety. Itâs not gonna magically cure you, but Iâve pushed myself to incorporate a few of these things into my day to day routine and it helps
i was messing around with audacity and had an idea⊠and this happened. it sounds really sad⊠im not sure if that was intentional butâŠ
sprite edit by me (i know it sucks i just needed a cover)
if someone does the âfine, youâre right, iâm clearly a terrible person, iâm satan, iâm the worst person alive, i should just dieâ thing in response to criticism of their harmful behavior, they are trying to manipulate ppl and flip the situation around so that they look like a victim
stop tolerating this in 2k17 tbh. like really and truly, if you or your friend thinks this is okay pls call the hotline on the bottom of the screen and learn how to take responsibility for your bad behaviorÂ
The bad thing is I do this on a regular basis. Not because I want to manipulate people, but because thatâs actually how I feel. Iâm bad at receiving concrit. I canât say that everyone who reacts this way feels the same as I do, butâŠnot every case is like that.
have you considered that, regardless of your intentions, reacting in such an exaggerated way would make it very difficult for anyone to criticize you or tell you that youâre harming people with your behavior? iâm not interested in searching out peopleâs motives, i donât really care why someone does or says manipulative things. being unable or unwilling to simply apologize and not make it about themselves is a solid indicator that a person is not interested in being held accountable for their bad behavior, and people, especially the injured parties in question, shouldnât have to tolerate it.
take responsibility for your bad behavior 2k17 tbh
Okay, life lesson time.Â
When I was in my late teens and early 20s, I kept getting involved with people who would say, âOh, Iâm a bad personâ any time I brought up ANYTHING that was the least bit of a disagreement.Â
Like, âPlease donât leave my X on the floorâ would get, âOh, Iâm a horrible person!â
HEREâS WHY THIS IS A HUGELY PROBLEMATIC BEHAVIOR, and if you think Iâm calling you out and you think youâre about to shut down, take a breath, remember that this is about learning, and keep reading.
What is important is what happened after. My boyfriend might say, âOh, Iâm just an awful boyfriendâ and instead of him acknowledging the BEHAVIOR and working on fixing it, heâd get me trying to buck him up for the next half hour, telling him he was a good person. The behavior that started it all would not change.
Well, things led to things and I went back home to live for a while, and found that the same exact thing was happening⊠with my mother.
And then I learned about pattern arguments. Pattern arguments are the ones where you keep having the same nonproductive argument over and over again. They donât all follow this pattern, but this is a really common one.
The trick?
BREAK THE PATTERN
First you have to know what the pattern is. In this case: 1. Grievance 2. Self deprecation 3. Ego stroking So, with my mother, we started in on one of these, and she said, âI guess Iâm just a terrible mother.â And instead of reassuring her, instead of derailing the issue and letting it go⊠I said, âWhen you say that, it makes me wonder how terrible a daughter I could be that you would think you were a bad mother. We have this conversation this way over and over, and the problem that I have always gets pushed aside in favor of trying to make you feel better. When youâre willing to have a real conversation about this, Iâm happy to talk to you, but Iâm bored with this argument, so Iâll see you later if you want to really talk.â And I left the room. Now, my mom is a reasonably self-aware person, and does a lot of hard emotional work, and so she got it, very quickly. 10 minutes later she came out and found me, and we had a real conversation about whatever the hell the issue really was, and we have literally NEVER had that particular pattern argument again in 23 years. Boyfriend came to visit. I was upset about something, he started in on the âIâm just a shitty boyfriendâ thing⊠and my response? âYep. You are.â His jaw dropped. He blinked. And I said, âLook, thatâs what you do. You say shit like that and it means you donât have to change your behavior, and Iâm tired of the pattern we have where I tell you something isnât working for me, you tell me youâre terrible, and I spend half an hour making you feel better. Iâm tired of it and Iâm not doing it anymore. If youâre willing to have an actual conversation about this, and not just the same old argument, Iâm game. But this thing we do where you talk yourself down and I butter you up? Is boring. And Iâm over it.â We also did not have that argument again. (The relationship finally ended for real a while after, but it ended in a grown-up way, and not with a ridiculous meaningless fight.) When you knock yourself down, the gut instinct for the people around you is to pick you up. But that means youâre not pulling your weight in the relationship. Youâre making them do the work and youâre not actually hearing them. So that brings us to another point:
How to deal with criticism
Okay, so if youâre not going to knock yourself down when someone says something negative about you, what DO you do? We donât actually train people to take criticism well. But it is an art and a skill and NECESSARY to finding emotional stability in the face of a critical world.
I see it as a flow chart, but since the flow chart I made for it ended up in a book that I donât own the copyright to (not a big deal) Iâll write out the decision tree here instead: 1. Someone offers criticism (constructive or not!)
2. Listen and think about it without immediately trying to defend yourself. You can say, âOkay, I need a moment to take that in and think about it because I want to understand it.â Or something else appropriate to the situation. It is okay to ask for time to think in most circumstances. Most people will appreciate that you are thinking about their words instead of immediately getting defensive or counterattacking. Think about whether what they are saying is valid, might be valid or is not valid.Â
3A. If it is valid, then you have a choice. You can try to fix the behavior or you can acknowledge that it is a valid criticism but decide you arenât likely to fix it. Start by acknowledging the validity of the criticism, and then say what youâre going to do to fix it, or say that itâs valid but it isnât something youâre willing (or possibly able) to change, or say that itâs a valid criticism and youâll need to think about possible solutions. They may have a suggestion. Taking it or not is also a choice.Â
3B. If youâre not sure itâs valid, but it might be, tell them, âI really need to give this some more thought.â or âCan you tell me more about this? Iâm not sure I understand the issue well.â  Or âIf you can point me at some reading material or search terms, Iâd like to study this before I decide what Iâm going to do.âÂ
3C. If you know it is not a valid criticism, STOP a moment, and look at WHY they are making it. This is where Active Listening can be very helpful. âI hear you saying that X is a problem. I donât see it that way right now but Iâd like to understand better why you do.â Or if you think they donât have enough information, âI hear you saying X, but my understanding of the issue is Y. Hereâs what I know about it if youâre ready to listen.â If theyâre just looking for a fight, tell them youâre not interested in fighting, and disentangle yourself.Â
4. If the criticism is something you are going to listen to and take action on, tell them what kind of action youâre going to take. If itâs something youâre hearing and thinking about, tell them that. If itâs not something youâre going to do anything about or itâs just wrong, thank them for their input and move on.
Literally never is it going to be helpful to say, âOh, Iâm just a terrible person.â Thatâs very much like a nonapology-apology in terms of how unhelpful it is to any conversation. Itâs kind of worse because it actually expects emotional labor from someone who is already having to bring up something unpleasant with you. Think about what they say Decide whether youâre going to do something about it Do the thing, or tell them youâre not going to do the thing. Donât demand emotional labor from other people when you were the one who messed up.Â
Apologize if appropriate. This is all predicated on the notion that youâre talking to someone who actually wants to communicate and isnât just an asshole on the attack. Because seriously, the whole âIâm a terrible personâ thing? Boring as fuck. Knock that shit off. Maybe you are. Maybe you arenât. But take responsibility and have a little self-respect and donât make others pick your emotional dirty towels off the metaphorical bathroom floor.Â
Yeah, I want to reiterate all of the above, because I feel like the top post doesnât do an especially good job of conveying that mostly when people do this its not on purpose, its generally because theyâre feeling real distress.
Its just that it doesnât matter.
If every single criticism of you ends in an emotional crisis, you become uncriticisable, and its unbelievably difficult to deal with someone when you can ask them to stop doing something, or to fix something.
9 times out of 10 when someone asks you to stop doing something, or fix a behaviour, its not that big a deal, they were a little upset, they said something about it, and a quick apology and not doing it again, or even just making a sincere effort to do it less, and theyâll probably not even think about it again.
And yeah, it can feel really, really bad to realize youâve upset someone, even if its only a little bit. But it is unbelievably difficult to maintain a relationship with someone who makes all their feelings your problem. Not because it means youâre evil, or abusive, or being deliberately manipulative, but because most people just donât have enough emotional energy to process for two. They just donât.
This would have been amazing to have when I was 16 and an arsehole, but thank God for the people who helped me break that behaviour.
This. I figured it out on my own at some point that, due to my low self-esteem, I was doing this internally. I wouldnât say it out loud and so it wasnât manipulative, but it still wasnât helpful at all. Neither was my original method of âoh look at the ways Iâll be amazing and better to make it for itâ that never actually got done. But forcing myself to stop, listen, breathe, and assimilate the information, without getting emotional or upset or focusing on my feelings too much, has seriously helped me analyze myself and my behavior so much more.
If you think the criticism is valid, another thing that could be good to say would be âYouâre right, leaving it on the floor means itâs in the way and will get dirty/will be more likely to get brokenâ or whatever. This shows the other person that you are working hard to see how things are for them, in contrast to âI am a terrible personâ which has no room for their needs or concerns.
Real talk.
Important life lessons here.
dealing with the worst case scenario
your condom breaks
you feel a lump on your breast
your friends are ignoring you
youâre stranded on an islandÂ
you got rejected by a crush
you get into a car accident
you got stung by a bee/wasp
you got fired from your job
youâre in an earthquake
your tattoo gets infected
your house is on fire
youâre lost in the woods
you get arrested abroad
you get robbed
your partner cheated on you
youâre on a ship thatâs sinking
you fall into ice
youâre stuck in an elevator
you hit a deer with your car
you have food poisoning
your pet passed away
you fall off of a horse
you or your friend has alcohol poisoning
you have toxic shock syndrome
your house has a gas leak
I feel like this could be useful in my future
REBLOG THIS. I CANNOT STRESS HOW IMPORTANT THIS GUIDES ARE, BOOST THIS SHIT
You know what I think is really cool about language (English in this case)? Itâs the way you can express âI donât knowâ without opening your mouth. All you have to do is hum a low note, a high note, then another lower note. The same goes for yes and no. Does anyone know what this is called?
These are called vocables, a form of non-lexical utterance - that is, wordlike sounds that arenât strictly words, have flexible meaning depending on context, and reflect the speakers emotional reaction to the context rather than stating something specific. They also include uh-oh! (thatâs not good!), uh-huh and mm-hmm (yes), uhn-uhn (no), huh? (what?), huh⊠(oh, I seeâŠ), hmmn⊠(I wonder⊠/ maybeâŠ), awww! (thatâs cute!), aww⊠(darn itâŠ), um? (excuse me; that doesnât seem right?), ugh and guh (expressions of alarm, disgust, or sympathy toward somebody elseâs displeasure or distress), etc.
Every natural human language has at least a few vocables in it, and filler words like âumâ and âermâ are also part of this overall class of utterances. Technically âvocableâ itself refers to a wider category of utterances, but these types of sounds are the ones most frequently being referred to, when the word is used.
Reblog if u just hummed all of these out loud as you read them
Reblog if its ok to message you during this holiday season incase Im feeling lonely or out of place during family events because no one should be alone on Christmas
Audrey Hepburn with her pet deer Pippen, 1958
Audrey Hepburn singing âLa Vie en Roseâ in Sabrina, 1954.