Beaten, Broken, and Bedlam

Semi-Selective | Semi-Private Indie multi-fandom | selective-multiship | multiverse Post Silent Hill 2 James Sunderland -- Read the Rules and Headcanons before interacting. -- tracking: mymindsasunder

[mymindsasunder]

hiatus is still in effect but at least i've gotten my mojo back for RPing sorta! squawk at me on discord! i RP on there for now jaaaames#5047

[sanctirubrumdeus]

Xuchilbara: *slaps helmet of pyramid head* Xuchilbara: this bad boy can fit so much fucking guilt in it

[mymindsasunder]

it’s been a while

so honestly i’ve lost all motivation for RPing, which is really sad because i still look at my tag/old posts every now and again and i get hit with this wave of nostalgia and tbh i miss rping so much but i’m in one of those perma-hiatuses due to a multitude of reasons which include writer’s anxiety and lots of self-doubt.

 it’s saddening to log on here and know that i have a pile of drafts that i keep saying i’ll get to but i probably never will. i miss this fandom and all the friends i made, i don’t know when i’ll be back, if at all. this isn’t really a “so long and thanks for all the fish!” kind of post because i do plan on getting back now that i’m back on my feet emotionally speaking and now that i’ve help that i need, but more of “jame does lots of somber reflecting these last few weeks of the fun they had rping so they had to figure out the email to this account and write some poignant and slightly nice spiel about it”

trust me when i say this, i miss all of you guys so much. i made lots of friends here and there so this community will always have a special place in my heart.

but anyways, if anyone’s interested in keeping in touch, you can always find me on my personal tumblr @cosmicbutterflies in which i’ll happily squawk at you, alternatively my discord is jaaaames#5047 so add me and maybe yell at me for whatever reason!

[miillennials]

*reminder*

just because i’m very slow with replies doesn’t mean i don’t care about our plot !!!

[mymindsasunder]

—    bold   all   physical   traits   that   apply   to   your   muse.

Tagged by:  no one but i took this from @explosivedarling

Tagging: yes you reading this i’m tagging you~

eyes (general):     large   /   small   / narrow   /   sharp /   squinty   /   round   /   wide-set   /   close-set   /  deep-set   / almond  /  sunken   /   bulging   /   protruding   /   wide   /   hooded   /   heavy-lidded   /   bright   /   sparkling   /   glittering   /   flecked   /   dull   /   bleary   /   rheumy   /   cloudy   /   red-rimmed   /   beady   /   bird-like   /   cat-like   /   jewel-like   /   steely   /   hard  / long lashes  /   sweeping eyelashes   /   thick eyelashes  / short eyelashes

eyes (color):     chestnut   /   chocolate brown   /   cocoa brown   /   coffee brown   /   mocha   /   mahogany   /   sepia   /   sienna brown   /   mink brown   /   copper   /   amber   /   cognac   /   whiskey   /   brandy   /   honey   /    tawny   /   topaz   /   hazel   /   obsidian   /   onyx   /   coal   /   raven   /   midnight   /   sky blue   /   sunny blue   /   cornflower blue   /   steel blue   /   ice blue   /   arctic blue   /   glacial blue   /   crystal blue /   cerulean   /   electric blue   /   azure   /   lake blue   /   aquamarine   /   turquoise   /   denim blue   /   slate blue / slate gray   /   storm blue /storm gray   /   silver   /   silver gray   /   chrome   /   platinum   /   pewter   /   smoky gray   /   ash gray   /   concrete gray   /   dove gray   /   shark gray   /   fog gray   /   gunmetal gray   /   olive   /   emerald   /   leaf green   /   moss green

eyebrows:     arched   /   straight /   plucked   /   sparse   /   trim  /   dark   /   faint   /   thin   /  thick   /   unruly   /   bushy   /   heavy

skin (general):     lined   /   wrinkled   /   seamed   /   leathery   /   sagging   /   drooping   /   loose   /  clear  /   smooth   /   silken   /   satiny   /   dry   /   flaky   /   scaly   /   delicate   /   thin   /   translucent   /   luminescent   /   baby-soft   /   flawless   /   small pores   /   large pores /   glowing   /   dewy   /   dull   /   velvety   /   fuzzy  /   rough   /   uneven   /   mottled   /  dimpled   /   doughy   /   firm   /   freckled   /   pimply   /   pockmarked   /   blemished   /   pitted   /  scarred   /   bruised    /   veined   /  scratched   /   sunburned   /   weather-beaten  /   raw   /   tattooed

skin (color):     amber   /   bronze /   cinnamon   /   copper   /   dark brown   /   deep brown   /   ebony   /  honey   /   golden   /   pale   /   pallid   /   pasty   /   fair   /   light /   cream   /   alabaster   /   ivory   /   bisque  /   milk   /   porcelain   /   chalky   /   sallow   /   olive   /   peach  /   rosy   /   ruddy   /   florid   /   russet   / tawny   /   fawn

face structure:     square   /   round   /   oblong   /   oval   /   elongated   /   narrow   /   heart-shaped  /   cat-like   /   wolfish   /   high forehead   /   broad forehead   /   prominent brow ridge   /   protruding brow bone   /   sharp cheekbones   /   high cheekbones   /   angular cheekbones   /   low cheekbones  /  hollow cheeks   /   square jaw   /   chiseled   /   sculpted /   craggy   / soft   /   jowly   /   jutting chin   /   pointed chin   /   weak chin   /   receding chin   /   double chin   /   cleft chin   /   dimple in chin   /   visible adam’s apple

nose:     snub   /   dainty   /   button   /   turned-up  /   long   /   broad   /   thin   /  straight   /  pointed    /   crooked   /   aquiline   /   roman /   bulbous   /   flared   /   hawk   /   strong

mouth/lips:     thin   /   narrow   /   full   /   lush   /   cupid’s bow   /   rosebud   /   dry   /   cracked   /   chapped   /   moist   /   glossy   /   straight teeth   /   crooked teeth   /   gap between teeth   /   gleaming white teeth   /   yellowed teeth   /   braces   /   overbite   /   underbite   /   dimples

facial hair:     clean-shaven   /   smooth-shaven   /   beard   /   neckbeard   /   goatee   /   moustache   /   sideburns   /   mutton-chop sideburns   /   stubble   /   a few days’ growth of beard   /   five o’ clock shadow

hair (general):     long   /   short    /   shoulder-length  /   loose   /   limp   /   dull   /   shiny   /   glossy   / sleek   /   smooth  /   luminous   /   lustrous   /   spiky   /   stringy   /   shaggy   /  tangled   /   messy   /   tousled   /   windblown   /   unkempt   /   straggly   /   neatly combed  /  parted   /   slicked down   /   slicked back   /   cropped    /   clipped   /   buzzed   /   buzz cut   /   curly   /   bushy   /   frizzy   /   wavy   /   straight   /   lanky   /   dry   /   oily   /   greasy   /   layers   /   corkscrews   /   spirals   /   ringlets   /   braids   /   dreadlocks   /   widow’s peak   /   bald   /  shaved   /   comb-over   /  thick   /  coarse /   luxuriant   /   voluminous   /   full   /   wild   /   untamed   /   bouncy   /   wispy   /   fine   /   thinning    / soft

hair (color):     black   /   blue-black   /   jet black   /   raven   /   ebony   /   inky black   /   midnight   /   sable   /   salt and pepper   /   silver   /   silver gray   /   charcoal gray   /   steel gray   /   white   /   snow-white   /   brown   /   brunette   /   chocolate brown   /   coffee brown   /   ash brown   /   brown sugar   /   nut brown   /   caramel   /   tawny brown   /   toffee brown   /   red   /   ginger   /   auburn  /   copper   /  rosewood /  strawberry blonde   /   butterscotch   /   honey   /  wheat  /   blonde   /   golden   /   sandy blond   /   flaxen   /   fair-haired   /   bleached   /   platinum

body type:     tall /   average height /   short  /   petite /   tiny   /   compact   /   big   /   large   /   burly   /   beefy   /   bulky   /   brawny   /   barrel-chested   /   heavy   /   heavy-set   /   fat   /   overweight   /   obese   /   flabby   /   chunky   /   chubby   /   pudgy   /   pot-bellied   /   portly   /  thick   /   stout   /   lush   /   plush   /  full-figured  /   ample   /   rounded   /   voluptuous  /   curvy  /   hourglass  /   plump   /   leggy   /   long-legged  /   gangling   /  lanky   /   coltish   /   lissome   /   willowy   /   lithe   /   lean   /   slim   /   slender   /   trim   /   thin   /  skinny   /   emaciated   /   gaunt   /   bony   /   spare   /   solid   /   stocky   /   wiry   /   rangy   /   sinewy   /   stringy   /   ropy   /  sturdy  /   strapping   /   powerful   /   hulking   /   fit  /   athletic   /   toned /   muscular   /   chiseled   /   taut   /   ripped   /   herculean   /   broad-shouldered   /   sloping shoulders   /   bowlegged

hands:     delicate  /   small / large   /   square   /   sturdy   /   strong  /   smooth   /   rough /   calloused   /   elegant   /   plump   /   manicured   /   stubby fingers   /   long fingers   /  ragged nails /   grimy fingernails   /   ink-stained

[mymindsasunder]

hvnnigan replied to your post:.

thumbs up emoji

:>

[mymindsasunder]

.

[100493503004422]

me: [facedown on the floor] listen everything is totally fine

[mymindsasunder]

deviloutofhell liked your post: so i forgot to mention this earlier when i came...

*spams eyes emoji*

[mymindsasunder]

so i forgot to mention this earlier when i came back but i have a discord now in case anyone wants it *eyes emoji* i may rp there too but it’s mostly casual ooc talking and stuff 

[mymindsasunder]

deviloutofhell:

“Pretty damn near the same as killing a woman.”

He chuckles, but his eyes are hard as granite.

“It gets routine. The noises they make. The kicking. The pissing. The stink. You know they shove a wad of cotton up your ass when they send you to the chair?”

He pauses to let it sink in.

“Like most holy things,” he continues, in a lower voice, “it ain’t as pretty or as sacred as it should be.”

James lowers his hand from his mouth and looks down at his palms like there’s imaginary blood on them. There’s a certain weight on him that makes his shoulders sag down. “You’ve.... killed women?” he asks, avoiding eye contact with Jimmy. At the description the priest gives of murder makes him wince and make this face of disgust. “That’s...” a pause as James tries to find the right word to use. “...awful.” He manages after a spell of silence.

“Oh.” He shifts slightly, feeling a mixture of pity and sorrow for the victims, he distantly wonders, if Jimmy ever felt remorse for his actions. James thinks of Eddie and how the young man met his end. “I’ve... killed a man....” he confesses like one would do at a church. “I... I... didn’t mean it...” he finally manages to look at the ghost in the eye. “...I really didn’t...” he says quiet and raw with knots in his throat. “But... I had no choice.” he shivers instinctively, pulling his jacket close to him, the phantom cold of the meat locker seeps in his skin and into his bones. “It was awful.... His last words were screams of how there were dogs tearing into his stomach....”

[mymindsasunder]

@deviloutofhell

“So...” James starts out slowly, not really knowing how exactly to phrase the next string of words that have been gnawing at him for ages. He exhales softly before putting his hand to his mouth “I have a question for you...” his tone is measured, tense, and quiet. He looks around as if though someone’s overhearing the conversation. “How does it feel to kill a man?” 

[mymindsasunder]

so uhhhh like for a short starter i guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[mymindsasunder]

hey. *eyes emoji*

[mymindsasunder]

weird dream post but also pretty hilarious au idea

silent hill, but instead of being a spooky town it's a giant supermarket like a walmart (or your big-name superstore of choice).

everyone's just a regular ol' customer or a worker, but all the strange things that happen are just usually chalked up to "it's the strange atmosphere of the store". i guess all the monsters are just either other employees or obnoxious customers lmao

basically it's like one of those - gothic style posts but silent hill and silly

[snake-eyes-11]

No.                   I [don’t] think you                                        U  N  D  E  R  S  T  A  N  D                  the shit                                                 | I’ve | been | through |

[mymindsasunder]

kinda wanna write but not sure what. hmmm....