my quotable kid

this started when my son was two. maybe three? now he's... sixteen. and this is what he says.

[myquotablekid]

"Oh my god. My hair is so performative." - Chicago glizzy

[myquotablekid]

"It's called a quadricep? That sounds like a dinosaur."

[myquotablekid]

“George Washington did not fight for this.”

(This: Billy Joel Tribute band)

[myquotablekid]

“Don’t eat that noodle. That’s the one that fell in my pants.”

[myquotablekid]

“This chicken tastes like sadness.”

[myquotablekid]

It's hard to believe that the weekend we just had, only exists as a memory now.

[myquotablekid]

What's the weird rice called? Cautious?

Narrator: it was couscous.

[myquotablekid]

“We finished Romeo & Juliet today. I thought it was meh. I guess I just thought the end would have been more dramatic.”

[myquotablekid]

I just don’t understand Amish culture. Like, maybe just dress better?

[myquotablekid]

I would laugh if flies could read because they'd be like 'Ha! That says fly trap.'

[myquotablekid]

You look like Bo Peep right now. The one that looks a little raggedy when she goes into battle to fight the raccoons.

This, readers, was supposed to be a compliment. 

[myquotablekid]

Gen Z memes are so hard to cooperate.

What? - Gen X.

[myquotablekid]

I'm not saying you're a bad mom, but I did sort of have higher expectations for summer break.

cool.

[myquotablekid]

I think the chance of us being in this life together is so cool. Like, how life just flows in itself is amazing.

✨

[myquotablekid]

Me: Finn, what kind of music do you want to listen to? Finn: Please let it be anything other than your witchy songs.

Finn hates Florence

[myquotablekid]

Finn: I think I'm going to carry a bag of potatoes around on Halloween. Me: But why? Finn: Gotta do it for the memes, mom.

ok but what?

[myquotablekid]

At your funeral, I'm going to say: I know you all loved my mother. But to be honest, she hated technology and never let us use it. It's like she wanted us all to be stuck in the 80s.

FOR REAL. RIP