Hello. I'm Myra Chang, a Chinese Language teacher at William McKinley. Well-established, single, and certainly not wasting away my 30s between cups of Red Bull and strong coffee.
Timmy: i'm sorry that i kind of ruined our family vacation
Timmy: i knew better than to come, i should've trusted my gut.
Timmy: i love you a lot and i appreciate you putting this whole thing together but i just can't be here. i need time from Tommy and i don't really want to talk about it.
[...]
Timmy: ...just please please don't be mad at me
MYRA: I'm not mad at you, Timmy.
MYRA: You're an adult. You need space, and you need time. And that's okay.
MYRA: I love you, too. When you're ready, come talk to me. We don't have to talk about Tommy, we can have some alone time. The two of us. It's been a while since we've done that.
CHARACTERS INVOLVED: Myra Chang.
TIME: 12PM, January 15th, 2022.
ABOUT: Myra gets a call from her doctor.
LOCATION: Terra’s place.
WARNINGS: None.
After the long night they’d had, Myra was fully intent on not leaving bed if she absolutely had to. To make coffee, have food, the necessities. But it was too warm, and Terra was too comfortable. And she’s too content.
Through her contentedness, she barely notices her phone ringing. A brow raises, and she looks to the phone ID. Her heart drops. She’d been waiting for a call from her doctor since their last meeting, finalizing how long she’s meant to be out of school.
Myra considers, for a moment, whether she should simply ignore her call. Of course, she knows that Dr. Chen would be more annoyingly persistent if she did.
So she answers.
“Good afternoon, Myra. I hope I haven’t caught you at a bad time. Do you have some time to talk?”
“Mmhm.”
“Perfect. Well, from the labs that we’ve done and the symptoms you’ve discussed with us, that being the anxiety, the nausea, the migraines, brought on by overwork and stress, I’ve extended your notice of leave until next term.”
There’s a long sigh, sucking at her teeth as she thinks. Of course.
“That’s until the summer.”
“Yes, it is. Myra, I want you to understand the seriousness of the situation. This has been 15 years in the making, and recovery isn’t going to be easy, and we’ll need to work on this even after you return. I’ve already spoken with your principal, and he agrees that an extended leave will be good for your mental and physical health, before it gets any worse.”
“...Right. Yes, I understand.”
“Very good. I’ll schedule a follow-up visit a couple of months from now, we’ll see how you’re doing and assess your progress then, alright?”
“Okay. Goodbye.”
The silence on the other line seems so deafening now. Trickles of shame make her swallow, throat seeming dry even after her coffee.
Setting down her phone, she wanders her way back into Terra’s room. She can think about it later.
Don't be shy, Myra. What would you say to your parents if you could without any backlash from them?
I appreciate them for turning me into the successful woman that I am today. Though, I also have to lament the fact that I was conditioned to hold back the social aspect of my life for study. The side-effects of those teachings are ever-present in my current life. I wish you had taught me to find myself.
What is the reason you make yourself so emotionally unavailable to people?
I've lived enough life to realize that emotions make things more difficult. It’s distracting from the things in life that I need to focus on: taking care of my family, my career, and my culture. It’s also quite awkward, and I am at a stage in my life where I don’t need to walk on eggshells. People are aware of what they’re going into when they try to start any kind of relationship with me.
TERRA: I've long since been fueled by nicotine, caffeine, and hate. Though when you clear out the hate and come off the nicotine, there's a lot of room left for infinitely more caffeine.
TERRA: But honestly, I don't know, it just exists and I use it to my advantage.
MYRA: Caffeine is a godsend. It has never worked in terms of keeping me awake, though it does regulate my mood so that my fellow teachers don't have to deal with /as much/ of my wrath in the morning.
TERRA: It's just an observation, really. Former gifted and talented students. People with families who wanted them to be a certain way, where the love they sought after came with conditions, things they had to do to receive it. Love has never been freely given to them so they still think they have to fight for it, or worse, take it for themselves. Which is why they often say it takes a brat to tame a brat.
TERRA: I guess you could say that. I've definitely had my fair share of brats come and go. My first, and in many ways my only, long term partner was a brat. A beautiful, stubborn woman who just needed someone to prove to her that she didn't have to be in control all the damn time.
MYRA: You're very talkative for this early in the morning.
TERRA: I often think many brats just don't know how to ask for what they want, what they need. So used to fighting to get the attention and care they deserve, so they keep fighting even when someone is so willing to give them everything and more.
MYRA: ...
MYRA: I see. An interesting perspective. I believe Mack is the same way, they aren't used to anyone taking the extra steps to make sure /they/ are cared for.
MYRA: You definitely seem to know what you're doing.
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