california dreamin masterlist
finney blake x fem! reader
cw; moving forward, i will be talking about sensitive topics such as overdoses, murder, teen drug use, and other things that may be triggering to some readers. please proceed w/ caution!
i walked into school, pushing past all of the incoming students and teachers.
if i was gonna take gwen up on her offer, i had to do it before i chickened out.
i finally reached her locker.
ernesto’s with her again, leaning against the lockers, talking about something while gwen half listens like she always does.
she looks up, a certain glimmer in her eyes appear.
"hey guys." i smiled, shifting my bag higher on my shoulders.
ernesto turns around, nearly shocked to see me.
"you're alive?" he asked, grinning at his joke.
he huffed out a quiet laugh.
we all kind of just stood there for a second. awkwardly waiting for someone to break the silence.
ernesto and gwen furrow their brows, looking at each other in confusion.
"stay at your house," i say, "just for the season."
the words feel heavier out loud.
i nod. "yeah, if you're still offering."
"i am," she says immediately. "i am."
ernesto glances between us, confused.
"lia's moving in with us," gwen says.
"uh, temporarily." i add.
"still counts." he shrugs.
i exhale through my nose, like i was holding in my breath.
this is really happening.
gwen looks back at me. "i told my dad already."
"what?" she shrugs. "i told you i was serious. you're not sleeping in an icebox."
i shake my head a little.
"you're insane." ernesto adds.
"yeah," she grins. "but it worked."
the rest of the day drags.
like time moves slower in colorado.
i dont hear the phone again.
but i keep thinking about it anyway.
the way that boy picked it up.
after school, gwen and i head out together.
i wave goodbye to ernesto and unlock my car door.
my car smells like cigarettes.
there’s a half crushed pack in the cupholder. i flip it over with my thumb without thinking.
gwen notices, but she doesnt say anything.
i start the car and drive out of the school parking lot.
"no," she takes a pause, looking out the window. "you'll be fine."
i nod, keeping my focus on the road.
her house was smaller than i expected.
i park in the driveway and cut the engine.
we sit there for a second, both of us mentally preparing.
she sighs and looks at me.
"c'mon. can't be late for dinner."
we step out of the car. the cold biting a little harder now that the sun is setting.
i grab my backpack from the backseat, slinging it over my shoulder.
before i can reach for my other one, gwen's already there, pulling it out.
we reach the front door and she immediately yells out. "we're home!"
a tall, rugged man was leaning against the counter, drying his hand with a towel.
he looks up when we walk in.
his eyes land on me first.
"hey dad, yeah." she gestures to me. "this is lia."
"hi, sir. nice to meet you."
"you too." he says, putting down the towel, now looking at us from across the counter.
"so, gwen told me," he says, "about you staying."
i nod, "just til it gets warm again."
"right, uh, yeah." he chuckles awkwardly.
his eyes flicker towards the bags in our hands.
"okay... yeah. well," he nods. "we have plenty of food," he gestures vaguely towards the fridge next to him. "you can help yourself."
he gives himself a small nod, like he was reassuring himself that it was the correct response.
"listen guys," he says as he starts putting on a jacket.
"ricky called me in to do overtime, and i figured it'd be a good idea. your brother's in his room."
gwen and i both nod as we say our goodbyes.
he breezes right passed us, as the door slams shut from behind.
not just temperature warm, but, lived in warm. the kind of warm that makes you feel cozy, welcomed.
gwen nudges my shoulder, guiding me down the hall to her room, walking passed a closed door on the right.
i can hear music playing faintly inside, something slow and heavy but i dont recognize it.
she pushes the last door on the left open.
her room is messy, but in a normal, lived in way. clothes were on her vanity chair, records stacked on a bookshelf, a lamp that looks older than the both of us, and books everywhere.
she drops my bag next to her bed, and i do the same with the one in my hand.
"sorry, it's kind of a mess in here." she says, rushing to try to tidy up a bit.
"its fine," i say. and i mean it.
it already felt better than staying in my car.
she flops down on her bed and looks up at me.
"you can take my bed til-
"the floors fine with me." i cut in.
"lia, i invited you to live here. you're not sleeping on the dirty ass floor."
i shrug, sitting next to her on the bed.
"i mean, i've slept in worse conditions."
she just watches me for a second, analyzing my face.
"yeah," she mumbles under her breath. "i know."
there was a silence between us. the room was eerily quiet, as if the crickets were listening too.
"you dont have to tell me everything," she says after a minute, turning on her side to face me. "but.. now i wanna know who i got my family to let move in with us."
i lean back slightly, resting on my hands.
"you know i'm from california, specifically san diego." i start. "born and raised."
"my dad died when i was a kid. overdose."
i say flat, like i've said it a hundred times before.
"my mom... she went missing."
gwen's expression changes immediately.
"left one night, said she was meeting with a friend. never came back." i pause.
"they ended up finding her body later, in a room. i was kept out of the loop, but there was foul play."
i pick at a loose thread on my sleeve.
"then it was foster care," i continue. "had a social worker, marcy. she was ... she was the best. made sure i didn't end up in too many shitty houses."
i didnt know where to look. my eyes moved around the room, avoiding eye contact with her.
"i worked a lot, saved money. i got emancipated so i moved here."
"why here?" gwen asks, softly.
"my parents were from here. figured if i was gonna start over, i might as well go back to the place they started."
she nods slowly, like it's all making sense to her.
"marcy was gonna help me with an apartment...but honestly? i didn't know if i was gonna stay here. didn't want to waste a dime."
she leans back on her elbows, almost mirroring my position.
"you werent gonna tell me, were you?"
i shake my head, sighing.
i moved my hands from under me, changing positions as i fully laid down, staring at the ceiling. i placed my hands over my stomach as i fiddled with my fingers.
"... because people start looking at you different when they know you don't really have anywhere to go."
she doesn't respond right away.
after a moment, she says, very matter-of-fact; "well, you do now."
"you live here now.. well at least til winter blows over. so that's problem solved."
i don't know what to say to that.
"thank you, gwen. seriously."
she waves it off like it's nothing.
for the first time since i got to colorado, i dont have to decide where i'm sleeping tonight.
and that feels a lot bigger than i expected it to.
i dont remember falling asleep.
one minute i'm staring at the ceiling, listening to music with gwen, and the next,
i'm in a kitchen i haven't seen in years.
sunlight comes through the window over the sink, warm and soft, making everything look like its glowing a little.
my mom's standing at the counter cutting something, humming quietly to herself.
she always hummed when she cooked. never full songs, just pieces.
my dad is at the table with a newspaper, glasses low on his nose, coffee sitting next to him.
i'm next to him, swinging my legs a little because they don't reach the floor yet.
"you're gonna be late." my mom says without turning around.
"i'm not gonna be late," my dad says, still reading the paper.
"you say that every morning."
"and every morning, i'm right." my mom quipped.
she laughs a little at that and shakes her head.
i watch them like i already know this moment is important. like i'm trying to memorize it before it disappears.
it cuts through the room like it doesn't belong there.
not just pauses, but freezes.
he lowers the newspaper slowly.
my mom turns around this time, and i can see her face. she already looks worried.
like she knows who it is even before he picks up.
"marcus..." she says quietly.
he doesn't move right away.
finally, my dad stands up.
like if he moves too fast, something bad will happen.
he walks into the hallway, and even though i dont remember standing up, suddenly i'm there too, standing a few feet behind him.
he stares at it for a second before picking it up.
"hello?" he says, his voice slightly trembling.
it's as if the ocean was shoved into the receiver.
he presses it tighter against his ear.
“hello?” he says again, quieter this time. “i can’t hear you.”
he listens for a long time.
his face changes slowly while he listens.
not confused. not annoyed.
like he’s hearing something he never wanted to hear again.
“i don’t know how to help you,” he whispers.
my mom is standing in the hallway now, behind him, arms wrapped around herself.
she looks like she’s already cold.
he keeps holding the phone anyway.
my dad flinches like the sound hurt him.
he answers again immediately this time.
“please,” he says, before whoever’s on the other end can even speak.
“i’m trying, okay? i’m trying.”
“i don’t know where you are,” he says quietly. “you have to tell me where you are.”
she’s staring at him like she’s watching something fall apart and she can’t stop it.
the phone goes dead again.
the house is completely silent now.
then the phone rings again.
and this time, my mom looks straight at me.
like she knows i’m not really there.
like she knows i’m watching this from somewhere else.
i wake up suddenly, my heart pounding, i'm staring at a ceiling that isn’t the one from that house.
for a few seconds, i don’t know where i am.
then i hear the faint sound of gwen’s music still playing quietly from across the room, and i remember.
my parents haven't walked this earth in years.
i rub my face with my hands and stare at the ceiling for a long time.
then i swing my legs off the bed and stand up.
i don’t know why, but suddenly the room feels small.
i opened the door slowly, a loud creaking echoed through the room.
i walk quietly through the hallway, past the living room, and out the back door.
the cold hits me immediately.
i take a deep breath and step outside, letting the door close softly behind me.
that’s when i smell smoke.
i look to my left, a dark figure was leaning against the wall.
i could see a small spec of light from his hands, as shadows of smoke puffed out.
the porch light barely illuminates his face, and thats when i realize,
the boy from the payphone.
he looks over, like he heard me calling his name from inside my head.
“sorry,” i say quietly. “i didn’t know anyone was out here.”
“it’s fine,” he says. “couldn’t sleep.”
i nod. “yeah. me neither.”
he holds the joint out slightly toward me.
i hesitate for a second, then take it and sit down next to him.
we don’t talk for a minute. just pass it back and forth, watching the smoke disappear into the cold air.
after a while he taps the ash off the end and says,
“you work at that liquor store, right?”
my stomach tightens a little.
then he says, still looking out at the yard,
“that payphone outside there…”
i stare at the ground for a second.
“..it rang,” i say quietly.
“yeah,” he says. “i know.”
“you heard it too?” i ask.
he doesn’t look at me when he answers.
we don’t say anything after that.
we just sit there in the cold, passing the joint back and forth, like we didn’t just admit something neither of us can explain.
and for the first time since i got to colorado,
i don’t feel completely alone.
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