This story was an exciting addition to the Avatar universe and gives an interesting background on a character we see only once in the show. I loved the new characters, especially Xuan, and I like how it gave Smellerbee and Longshot something to do—since they were notably absent from the gaang’s invasion plan in Book 3. However, there are some minor areas in which this book could improve.
I think better editing is needed. There was one sentence that was missing a period or any type of punctuation at its end. I also noticed a word that was typed as “snorting” when it most likely meant “snoring,” as it was talking about General Sung being asleep.
There’s this comic called “Going Home Again” in which Azula uses Mai and Zuko’s feelings for each other to manipulate Zuko into going home to the Fire Nation after conquering the Earth Kingdom. On their “first date,” the couple meets Jin, and Zuko/Lee says Mai is a friend from the circus. I think this scene would have been a good addition to this book and I wonder why it was omitted in the first place. Jin seeing Zuko and Mai together could have added a lot of resolve to many of Jin’s internal conflict.
Jin spent the rest of the book recalling her date with Lee and kept referencing him in her head. Seeing “Lee” and Mai together would have made her realize that they have much more of a connection than she and Lee did, which could help her stop using Lee as a reference simply by acknowledging that he is clearly a better match for someone else. She would let Lee go. Moreover, she would have noticed that they probably have known each other for a long time by the way they tease and act, which would have made her realize that maybe “her person” is someone she’s grown to know by being around a lot, which would be the last step to opening her eyes to Xuan.
Another thing is about Jin’s conflict about hating the Fire Nation for burning her village, killing her family, and being the cause for her impoverished life. Meeting Lee again, knowing that he’s a Firebender, and seeing him in a more comfortable and open state around Mai would make Jin see his humanity. This will become important later on when she realizes that he’s the new Fire Lord. This is what would make her trust in the new Fire Nation—believe in Zuko and his advocacy for peace and redemption. This would make her become more accepting, hopeful, and optimistic about her life.
Zuko and Mai’s cameo would have been a short scene to add to the book, but could have added a lot more impact to Jin’s arc in love and life.
Other than that, I think it would have been more rewarding for readers if Xuan’s confession was more… complete. If we got the sense of actually how long he’s liked Jin. Yes, it was ever since she won some competition, but how long ago was that? It would have been nice to know how long he’s been pining and in what situations he had.
Plus, everything is mostly aligned with the canon story but there’s one scene in Book 3, Episode 1 that shows the Fire Nation soldiers marching into Ba Sing Se after the wall was brought down, and they pass the teashop, where Jin was seen with another man. I think that was who later turned into Xuan, but that whole scene didn’t happen in the book. Jin doesn’t go back to Pao’s after Lee left. When the Fire Nation came in, she was home with Gong-gong. It’s a small detail, but I wish this book was consistent with what was already released in the TV show to prevent plot holes.
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