[mystarofthesea]

[mystarofthesea]

[mystarofthesea]

[mystarofthesea]

being pretty and kind and unapologetic is holy trinity of being dream girl

[mystarofthesea]

I am just so happy. I am financially stable. My room is clean. I have meticulously packed my outfits for the vacay I’ve been dreaming of for three years. I like my smile in photos. My body is tea and I am getting stronger and more active again. I take breaks from my ADHD med now so I can enjoy nourishing it. I have spent so much time outdoors that I would think I’m sixteen again. i am working towards a relationship with a man who knows the Lord. We read scripture together and pray every day over each other. He always ends his phone calls with friends with I Love You. He is reliable and strong and respects my opinion. There is a kitten I can visit anytime who is the sweetest and most cuddliest thing. I love my job. The flowers I was gifted by my wonderful boss will only start to wither right when I leave for vacay. I needed a vase for them and my dad grabbed the pink one because of course he would. I’m finally starting to make big bucks off of my side hustles. My bestie is hot and her career is where most people don’t get to until their 40s. My grandma and I are close. I have film photos from Germany in the 90s sitting on my desk waiting to be scanned. My parents trust my judgement. I can go through hard times with friends and still do so with grace. I am so happy.

[mystarofthesea]

per previous post…..I can NOT wait to go on Facebook with vacay pics with the caption “this + paying off my student debt 🤩” ohhh im so grateful. And I will say I think 65% or so of this really was me just making sacrifices and working hard through school and making smart decisions like I DID THAT!!! I DID THAT!!! what the heck. I don’t think I realized how much I paid off through working sooo much and just casually making these big payments in the middle of my work days from age 19 on. never letting anyone talk down to me again because I’ll be able to say I was 23 AND I DID THAT. I could cry. I paid off my student loans less than a year from graduation IM SO BALLER I’m going to go cry in the shower now because I hardly say this but IM PROUD OF MYSELF I DID IT I DID THE THING I SAID I WOULD DO

[mystarofthesea]

dawned on me that I funded a whole vacation with my big girl money. flights Airbnb / hotel fun stuff to do THE WHOLE NINE YARDS!!! And I’m FINISHING MY STUDENT LOANS in the same month as said trip!!!!! Holy shit I really am doing better than I think I am when I say it out loud

[mystarofthesea]

boss got me flowers today after I was her IT hero :3

[mystarofthesea]

[mystarofthesea]

I think one way God has blessed me is by always giving me the best case out of a worst case scenario

[lamignonette]

[mystarofthesea]

this really is the year of every single thing that I thought was impossible, happening

[mystarofthesea]

selfies from my grandmas yesterday

[mystarofthesea]

my “friend” (def more than that at this point let’s be real) and I were talking about how girl’s bathrooms can be just as messy as the guy’s. and his visualization of a messy girl bathroom was “oh is there tampons just thrown about everywhere?”. I was like omg ur so cute the girls are gonna love this one

[3000s]

[mystarofthesea]

just learned about the Greek myth of Orpheus and Eurydice. Wtffffff

[mystarofthesea]

visual representation of being blessed beyond measure. my grandma has spent the last few years really passing down her heritage to me, both in material and in knowledge. it is one of my greatest blessings but I know it won’t be enough. when she passes away down the line, a huge part of me will surely die with her. most people grow more distant from their elders the older they get but age has strengthened the bond we have. it will make things harder for sure. but that won’t be for a long while, as the woman in my family are very hard for death to take out.

I owe so much of myself to her. I see how heritage manifests itself into action, the distinctions made in our personality through where our ancestors came from. I see my love of documenting, my love of analytics, bluntness, love in every practical manner. I see the youngest daughter, an immigrant, the brains and beauty, the source of envy for her siblings. I see the privileges I have made possible through her. And I am glad she gets to witness the fruit of her labor through the lives of her four granddaughters. Our independence and our ambition, the luxury of options we have, is because of her. I love you forever grandma and should I bear children one day they will know this to be an unshakeable truth.