RIDDLE ME THIS

[Indie and Private Riddler Written by Kleffy]

[mystereriddler]

hraunwyf‌:

“not if i can help it, love. you know if you’re going to die i’d rather kill you myself.”

“I...I was joking. Since I’m reformed and all, no Bats will be killing me. Not that the Big Bat kills people anyways.”

[mystereriddler]

hraunwyf‌:

“me too. i’d certainly hate to lose you to some birds.”

“You’d be more likely to lose me to some Bats.” He laughed at his own little joke.

[mystereriddler]

hraunwyf‌:

“this is why you’ll survive birdemic 2: electric boogaloo.”

“Well, I’m glad for that, then.”

[mystereriddler]

hraunwyf‌:

“good. people don’t have any respect for birds anymore, y’know. that’s why the crows all fucking hate everyone and the magpies steal without remorse.”

“I’ve always been nice to the corvids. They sometimes bring me shiny baubles, it’s very cute. I have a collection now.”

[mystereriddler]

hraunwyf‌:

“if you know anyone who does wildlife rehab, then building rooftop nesting communities is a good place to start, along with providing real food that pigeons are supposed to have. their eggs are edible, too, and swapping them with fakes cuts the reproduction rate down by well over seventy-five percent. pigeons in america are basically stray dogs and no one takes care of them and they’re all suffering.”

“Pam probably knows someone who works with wildlife, I’ll ask her. I want to fund the rehab of Gotham’s pigeons.”

[mystereriddler]

hraunwyf‌:

“the pigeons are really sick and i don’t think they know about batman enough to care. they need to be better taken care of.”

“How....how do I help them? I want to help the pigeons.”

[mystereriddler]

@hraunwyf​ | continued from ask

“What do the pigeons say? I need specifics. What do they think about Batman?”

[mystereriddler]

“What’s up, Gotham? I think dogs should vote!”

[mystereriddler]

hraunwyf‌:

Read More Now!

“Oh kinky.” Eddie laughed and winked as he loosened the tie further, twirling it in his hand a moment. He moved onto the bed, sitting himself between her legs. 

“I have a different idea. Gimme your wrists.” He hummed as he leaned closer, kissing at the parts of her breasts left exposed from how they were nearly spilling out from her bra. 

[hraunwyf]

mystereriddler‌:

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[mystereriddler]

He chuckled and nodded. “Yes, that’s true, many people including me, like you like that. But I think to start, you should be on your back. I want access to those fabulous tits of yours.”

Eddie downed the rest of his drink and unbuttoned his shirt, shrugging it off. His pants pooled at his feet as he stepped out of them, now only with his tie, gloves, and underwear on.

[mystereriddler]

hraunwyf‌:

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Eddie nodded, heading to his personal bar. He poured two glasses of whiskey, top shelf, and headed back. He smirked at the sight of her, handing off one of the glasses before taking a sip of his own.

“Making yourself comfortable, I see. Well, good.” He set down his glass and shrugged out of his jacket, loosening his tie as well. “What to do first, hmmmm...” He mused, his head tilting again to look at her.

[mystereriddler]

hraunwyf‌:

“Recreational,” she huffs, though she isn’t really mad; she does remember Eddie telling her no before, but she keeps hoping that some day he’ll say yes. “Fine, as long as you don’t tell me I can’t. I wanna—ah, fuck.”

Almost as soon as his teeth have touched her, her head falls back to expose more of her throat for him. She’s missed Eddie, after all, and he’s caught her at a very vulnerable time, and it takes her another second to regain her composure. “Yeah, now. Please.”

He chuckled against her neck, using his body to press her back towards the bed. His teeth worried her neck, marking it nicely with bites and sucks. 

“Good girl. Have a seat, hm?” He gently, but firmly pushed her back onto the bed, his head tilting. “I’m going to get myself a drink, you want one? To go along with your other party favors?”

[mystereriddler]

hraunwyf‌:

The breath hisses out between her teeth sharp once he spanks her; the physical response is immediate, Loki feels it curling in her stomach, feels the pink flush spreading across her face. God, she loves getting her way. Though he should have slapped her a little bit harder.

“I think that’s a lot of conjecture for someone who didn’t want me to jump him,” she answers, subtle thrill in her voice, slight though obvious dilation of her pupils. “But I have a few grams in my purse that I’d be happy to share with a man who’s willing to put his theories to the test.”

He hummed, his head tilting a bit, brain logging all those little details in her response. Eddie shook his head, squeezing her ass with one hand before smacking again with the other.

“Have we not had the conversation a la me and recreational drugs? Nevermind, the short and long of it is I don’t partake. I can get you a drink, though, if you like.” He winked, leaning in to bite at her neck hard. “But I’m still up for testing my theories, if you are.”

[mystereriddler]

hraunwyf‌:

“That won’t go well. I’ll throw a fit, you know.”

At least she admits it—her tolerance for teasing is low, and though she wouldn’t like to say, Eddie probably knows that she’d give in and beg almost too soon for it to even be fun, unless he’s the type who’d like to make her cry. “It’d be awfully mean of you.”

“Would it? Hm, perhaps not then.” He smirked and winked. “Or perhaps I still will. Could be fun, to be a bit mean now and then, huh?”

His hands slid around her, resting his palms flat on her ass. He raised one hand and brought it down with a loud smack. “Would you like it if I were mean? Or would you rather have someone nice? Gives you everything you want exactly when you want it? I think you like it mean and dirty.”

[mystereriddler]

hraunwyf‌:

“Fair enough,” she murmurs, and shifts up on to her tiptoes to reach, first kissing Eddie’s jaw and then using his jacket to tug him down a little more so she can kiss him right. He said a little smooch, of course, but she’s more generous than that, hungry and wanting. “You don’t want your bones jumped?”

He smiled into the kiss, fingers squeezing her sides as he laughed softly against her mouth. 

“I mean, I’m not opposed, but I think I just want to test your patience a little-- your resilience, your will. Have a little fun with it, you know?”

[mystereriddler]

hraunwyf‌:

“Can you?”

Loki closes the little bit of distance between them, lifting her chin to look at him proper, her hands fiddling with the hem of his jacket and adjusting the way it sits on his body. “Presents are for people you want something from. Or maybe just people you care about. So what would you like? or did I fuck you so good last time that you fell in love?”

“I think I can.”

He laughed again, not shying away when she got closer. Eddie hummed as she messed with his jacket, and his gloved hands slid down her arms, and then sides, resting on her hips. 

“Maybe I’d just like a kiss, hm? Just a little smooch. See if you can restrain yourself from jumping my bones.”

[mystereriddler]

hraunwyf‌:

“I suppose it’s nice enough. For some junk store trinket.”

Nevertheless, she does close the box again and slip it into her purse. Incredibly thoughtful of him, especially since it’s not fucking emeralds again—she really can’t stand them. “So what are you sucking up to me for, Eddie? Something you want?”

Eddie resisted the urge to correct her, knowing she wasn’t serious about it being a ‘junk store trinket’. He shrugged and crossed his arms.

“Can’t I just feel like giving you something?” He smirked.