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Q: Where can we meet you in Saint P queen? A: I am strolling around clothed in past lives, hints of my scent leaving its trail for you to find.

Comments, Sevdaliza IG post 23/05/2018

Watching Sevdaliza in the tiny back room of Webster Hall with a room full of largely queer, wide-eyed fans still remains to be one of my live concert highlights. What was so captivating (at the time and still) was how “in character” she was, almost non-human, a character stepping out of an avant-garde art movie to perform to you on a weekday night.

I just stumbled upon his Instagram posts around the release of her new EP, and was blown away by how this time around she has created to distinct personas for herself: Shahmaran (the Eastern queen of serpents) and Majora (reference to the Majora’s Mask game? a coincidence?). Through script-like captions and photos that look like stills from a movie, Shahmaran and Majora are in a dialogue, framed by the poetic exchange between Sevdaliza and fans.

Through some hints on the posts I find myself on her website which has the “Majora” experience and before I know it I am pinching around the face of an old woman with Iranian tattoos, hearing my personal poem and secretly getting curious about the zodiac-related messages I might receive (even if I am a bit grumpy about the personal data involved). (http://majora.sevdaliza.com/)

Overall, just a reminder that through music, sneakers or clothes there is a lot of great art and creation out there and a reiteration of my prediction that Sevdaliza will become the next Lady Gaga.

With admiration,

Swan

P.S: Can I also add that the Middle Eastern feminine references get extra points, every time. Surprised about the reconciliation with the “East” in me, to the point of pride lately. (Walk of Dame being Persian? Yes)

#sevdaliza #thecalling #majora #shahmaran #art

My dear Leo,

Just as bigger philosophical and relationship-related terminology plays a bigger role in our day to day, I came across this. Here is a selection of six that find related to us one way or the other. How amazing are they?

Swan

For more: http://www.fubiz.net/2014/04/25/philosophy-graphic-posters/

#illustration #design #philosophy

Hating on Tumblr

AAArrrrggghhh!!! My dearest Swan, I have spent the last 30 minutes of my life, trying to find out the time stamp of a particular post made here. I have not succeeded! There’s a distinct and clear reason as to why I want to do that, and if you scroll down enough, you will probably figure out which post I am referring to and why I want to get the date it was posted. If you can figure out how to get the time stamp from previous posts, extra brownie points for you! - otherwise, a.) we can have a hypothetical discussion about what I wanted to point out, without the evidence of the time stamp, and b.) lets also agree to add dates to these things from now on! *grunt* Mildy frustrated, Leo 25.02.2018

Update: I have figured out how to find the date of when a post was posted. I will keep it as a game for you to guess which post I am referring to. Posted March 18th 2017 - about 2 weeks off from what I wanted to say, but still, close enough to prove my point me thinks.

On Meditation and Feelings

Dear Swan, The image below shows, the “Self-reported body maps showing areas where subjects felt sensations increased (warm colors) or decreased (cool colors) for a given emotion. (Proceedings of the National Academies of Sciences)” The image comes from an article found here. Repeatedly and from every direction, meditation is brought forward an instrument of mental and physical health. Here are my personal comments and observation for meditation sparked from that specific image. From my understanding, meditation can be used for 2 (not necessarily distinct), things, both ultimately leading in good health, for both body and mind (or soul as a certain someone might have said.)

Use 1: Decluttering your mind

The typical notion of clearing out the noise in your mind. Very much like when you do yoga, where you can move you state of mind to a space of blank. You simply concentrate on your breathing and so bring a blank page back to your mind. Scattered thoughts and anxiety can be re-organised and put in their correct place (perhaps in location, in value, in weight, in persepctive).

You know the drill - I will not dwell on this more.

Use 2: Neutralising Emotions

Emotions, whether positive or negative, manifest in particular space in our body. And this is what is interesting about the diagram below. It maps out which areas of the body, a particular emotion affects. The knowledge of this, (for me), is supreme. Like most things, this idea is not new, but re-iterating and having this visual proof just brings a whole new dimension to it. Imagine feeling angry, or shame, or anxiety. These emotions if felt in an intense way manifest in your body like a bug, and are now inside you - taking up a physical dimension within you. And now you know! You know where this negative emotion sits within you. So all you need to do, is close your eyes, meditate and concentrate on that physical space in your body which has been infected. You can neutralise it. By concentrating on the upper side of your head, or on your chest, or wherever it might be sitting, you can neutralise it and like a tick, you use your tweezers to pick it up and remove it. Amazing right?!

It just formalises a process we both already do quite a lot, but as always, intuitionism is great, adding methodology in the mix, is even better ;)

Last noteworthy comment:

As you can see, the swirlies in our chests, are scientifically proven. ;)

Love,

Leo

On Party Tricks

Dear Swan,

This is a reply from the badest bitch I don’t know. - It’s an advice column basically.

You know how we think we’re pretty badass and out there with our generally fun activities. As you’ll read below, we are puppies. No that I’ll ever want to know how to stick ecstasy up a friend’s ass, or ever do that for that matter. But the fact that this bitch has turned it into a philosophy or practise she can advise to others as a very specific procedure, says a lot.

And I admire that.

Leo

---------

“If you wanna know how to whip up a holiday batch of ketamine using peppermint extract, or about proper finger etiquette when sticking ecstasy up a friend’s ass, then sure — I’m your girl.”

Ooh, go ahead with these, please.

Not to be all Martha Stewart or anything, but if you add a splash of peppermint extract to your liquid ketamine before cooking it down to powder, it’s pretty much like inhaling christmas. Obviously peppermint is seasonal, but vanilla extract works fabulously as well.

As for finger etiquette, be sure to push the ecstasy tab as far up your friend’s ass as possible. No long nails, and do your best to make it one smooth motion. A little lube is fine, but be quick about it. Pills tend to disintegrate the second they hit astroglide.

My dear Leo,

I am back here, leaving you a late night post after a long long while. We are three days into my return to “across the pond” and sitting still deep in silent longing, no longer with the ability or desire to react, dissect or express. A deeper intimacy, a deeper longing...a deeper or maybe simply different connection? I came across this tonight, when I was binge watching short movies. I have started doing that upon my fellow in-house Gemini’s recommendation and found that it is an effective way to bypass my commitment issues to anything of length playing on a screen. I have picked you this one in particular because: 1. Substance: One that falls under the category of unexpected things that get me teary eyed... I expect a similar reaction? (report back please.)

2. Location: London. Even if it is Oxford Street, still London. The city that I have by now developed a love/hate relationship with. So much love during all my past interactions with it, so so much love as I wandered its streets blissfully as a temporary resident, with you either by my side or in my head. So much love and longing during the first times I was back and gradually a sort of distancing, it becoming something I (we) outgrew, something that still to date won’t let you go. I still hate photos or stories by anyone who currently lives there and yet a few days ago I was a happy child marveling at the charming light-filled version of it and crying my eyes out not to leave.

3. Characters: Bless him. *smile* and the comical supporting ones - so so good and on point, just great in its simplicity.

With much love,

Swan

#london #shortfilm #boardguys

Me (Leo)

I need to make a career change, and I know exactly where to move, I know exactly what I need to do to get a job there, I’m close to having a significant amount of savings, and I even have a partner who’s ready, willing, and eager to go with me. I hate my current job, I’m sick of my apartment and my neighborhood, and I’m even getting tired of my entire city. So why I have I spent all my free time full of anxiety, goofing off, and not planning at all? You’re paralyzed. It’s fear of the unknown combined with an ugly case of emotional and/or spiritual inertia. You gotta push through that shit.

*long long hug * (Swan)

This little blog is gem of a find.

I’ve listed 3 of them that stood out for me and which I would like to comment on at time when it’s not 1am on a weekday.

On Creativity: https://zenpencils.com/comic/brenebrown/

On Einstein, Physics and God: https://zenpencils.com/comic/einstein/

On Life: https://zenpencils.com/comic/langleav/

Leo

A series of illustrations by Liana Finck.

For the first time, I find Liana Finck’s work in a professional context and not just her Instagram account. (Thanks for The Baffler prompt! <3 )

Leo

Late capitalism is like your love life: it looks a lot less bleak through an Instagram filter. The slow collapse of the social contract is the backdrop for a modern mania for clean eating, healthy…

Dear Swan,

You were the one to share with this me, and given that it is so relevant to our current societal times, I leave it here so that you can analyse it, dissect it and draw some observations.

#puttingyoutowork Leo

Overpriced charcoal health drinks aren’t good for liberating anything except your wallet and your colon in short succession, but walks in the park are free, so I occasionally go out in the sunshine and try to soak up a bit of Vitamin D without worrying about skin cancer, melting ice-caps, and millions of people drowning in Bangladesh.

https://thebaffler.com/war-of-nerves/laurie-penny-self-care

In a landmark civil rights case settled 50 years ago this week, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled in favor of Loving — Mildred and Richard Loving — in their suit against Virginia, forcing the state to recognize their interracial marriage. The Loving v. Virginia ruling granted them, and anyone in […]

Episode 2: Have I shown you this already? This is a video of a series of interviews done by Vice, of interracial couples after 50 years of Loving Vs Virginia; The court case for making interracial marriage legal. - Sounds familiar with anything? Now there are 3 main observations from my side. 1. The clear massive racial divide that existed and still exists in America. 2. That I believe in the future, gay marriage will seem as accepted (or not accepted), as interracial marriage is now.

And most importantly: 3. Ironically, this video, these opinions & experiences expressed, is the most accurate thing I have ever come across, with regards to same-sex relationships. In better words: the parallel for me is exactly the same. The exact words that these interviewees are saying, are the exact words I could be saying for same-sex relationships. It’s a massive shoulder shrug and cannot fathom why there is such opposition to it. The experiences these people had and are still having, is the exact same in view. And I’ll take it a step further even: I find this more representative and true about same-sex relationships, than any other video or interview I have seen actually talking about same-se relationships.

Thoughts?

Leo

Overdue Swan Thoughts:

My dear Leo,

If there was one post which made me postpone my engagement with the string of posts that had accumulated in my absence, I can safely say it was this one. I watched it a couple of days after I had discovered your posts, tearing up as expected. I was just at a loss for what to say and did not want to just word a generic agreement to your observations. Instead I sent you the decision when I stumbled upon it in D.C. but then again waited, thinking the right moment would come. Yet again, here I am probably months after the initial discovery, a few days after we were casually discussing whether we would rather live with our parents’ devastation for thinking we could not find anyone or their devastation for finding out that we were happily together with someone of the wrong kind and I still don’t have much to add. Just knowing that all the sentences they utter could as well be coming from our mouths and once again seeing just how cruel and senseless the world is. Like I had written a long time ago, the human I fell in love with happened to be a woman. Take it, world.

#discrimation #lovingvvirginia #usa #race #love #interracial

Episode 1 of: “Have I shown you this already?”

Dear Swan,

Welcome to a newly launched series of: ‘Have I shown you this already?’

As the title suggests, these blogs are about ‘things’ I had saved in the past in order to show them to you....and it’s been a while, that it has now come to a point that I don’t remember if I ever actually did. In any case, these are usually light-hearted and fairly unsubstantial...At most, they’ll be entertaining. Episode 1: I love this video so much. I must have watched it 5 times already.

I looove the graphics. I looove kid-like description and images. Ninja’s creativity and story telling, still very much kid like. He’s also quite the unconventional guy and artist. I actually like him and his wife’s music and general odd-ness/weirdness. Quite artistic in this post-apocalyptic, dystopian, soviet-like way.

Anyway, you have this weird as fuck dude, story telling some other random shit that he has come across with Kanye and Drake, and it just makes HIM look normal.

Very entertaining. Very creative. Very random.

Enjoy!

Leo

https://www.facebook.com/VICEVideo/videos/452399041792019/

Belated Comment: Firstly, I cannot figure out how to leave a comment on this post, so here we go instead. This won’t be a lengthy one, as such levels of absurdity and randomness leave not much room for analysis. Very weird and what-the-fuck and entertaining - animation won me over more than anything else. And also this photo of the Ninja and Yolandi before they were Ninja and Yolandi is a pretty stark contrast, so just leaving it out here:

#ninja #rapper #kanye #drake #basketball #dafuck #animation #popularculture

Critique de la Vie Quotidienne

Dear Leo,

You might remember a gray Sunday afternoon in Bushwick which we would have spent at home or being productive at a coffee shop but had to fill with some "attractions" as we had a very awkward kitten company. You might also remember going into a books shop where we found some gems and I ended up in a loong conversation with the owner. The book that excited him the most was the one that I had hunted down from a shelf under a table (he was surprised I could even find it)...a book with a old looking red binding with the word "Sadness" etched in gold only on the spine. A book, I was told, that ironically contained happy stories. I had been saving it for the right time.

The right time came on the plane from New York to Ottawa. And I found myself starting with the first short story and being so excited by it that I devoured every word and expression, hoping it wouldn't end. In a very satirical, cynical tone it captured the banality of the domestic life so well. Too good. It has been on my mind to share it with you for the last couple of days and as I take a mental break from global health challenges right now, I am happy to finally to do so. You can find it here.

May we never find ourselves in such a "vie quotidienne".

Love, Literary Swan

P.S. I picked the actual book cover because I believe mine also had it on top, which must have gotten lost in time in some stranger’s house or in the hands of a second hand book dealer.

#books #literature #shortstories #donaldbarthelme #laviequotidienne

Listen to the story 'The Lion and the Mouse' read by Richard Briers. Read along and print the story transcript of this traditional fable

Okay, an express post for you dear Swan,

Stories (and especially children’s stories), seem to calm you down.

I don’t have an extensive list of stories or books which I used to read/listen to. Be it due my parent’s 3rd child syndrome or my general Mowgli-ness as a child, at first thought, the list of books/stories I was involved with is limited. Perhaps this is something I should explore and revisit when I travel back home (at some point, who knows when!?). But within that limited list, a very ‘mainstream’ and expected series of stories come to mind. It’s not surprising that my dad was the one to tell me these. Highly ethical and moral individual, it was his priority to distil and infuse the same notions within his children. (You can assess yourself whether he was successful or not! *wink wink* ). They also originated from Greece (naturally!) And of course, I am referring to Aesops’ Fables. Right now, I can’t specifically point out a specific one which was my favourite, but what I DO remember is an illustrated book I had filled with these stories which I absolutely adored. (My guess is that my mum made sure to rid of it during one of our moving houses times). If I am ever lucky to find it, then perhaps a ‘favourite’ story will emerge. For now, this is for you. It’s a BBC recording which obviously gets extra points for the clear punctuation, British accent and general britishness air of it all.

(There was no Swan-related recording, thus enjoy more of the Leo amazingness within the story)

Hope this does the trick for you this evening. With you in mind. Soon in body.

Leo

Girls S06E05

On relationships and exchanges that go in tangents....

Dear Leo,

Here comes the popular culture infused part of my posts. I know you haven’t watched the rest of the season so I will not give away much about the actual content but essentially the last few episodes of this season featured people drifting away, big revelations and changing relationships. It did this through a series of very well-crafted conversations which, for me, do an incredible job in portraying how in so many human interactions, there is no real exchange even though words are flying in the air.

I find this to be an appropriate topic to bring to you because you have actually been the one in the recent past to make me more aware of the role silence can play and the importance of “purpose” behind what you say and don’t say. Being so skillfully aware and in control of your words and communication, out of all people you would be the one to see and appreciate what this episode is trying to say.

Seeing all these in real life (e.g. the worst dinner party ever) and in fiction makes me once again realise how an overwhelming portion of relationships are actually dysfunctional with deep fault lines and how we are capable of exerting the most trauma and suffering to the ones closest to us.

With love,

Swan

Dear Leo,

This past week was a gray one in many senses. The city was gray, cold and rainy which was especially painful after it had hinted at spring. I was atypically experiencing the negative consequences of being a woman with my body going from one low to the other. “The uncertainty” as Liana drew it was an ever bigger ball inside me. In the midst of all this I ran into Brenna. She brought me some peace on a depressing Monday afternoon holed up in my office without windows. Once I discovered Turkwaz, Brenna and her buddies accompanied me for the following days as I found myself finding comfort in my grandmother’s music which I would have blindly made fun of in my teenage years. What drew me so much to this album though was that it was the music of lots of neighbouring grandmothers. The femininity, grace, fluidity and comfort of the “East” -something which I made peace with only later in my life after years of dismissing the “weak” women of my society, something which I now wish I had more of- had been discovered by the “West” and given this mixed identity which made it all the more beautiful.

I am embedding the two songs which I have listened to the most. Two songs which are also symbolic because of their origin. As I do this I remember a moment long time ago when I shared Ibeyi with you with hundred disclaimers saying “they are weird” only to find out that you already knew them and actually shared and championed my enthusiasm for odd discoveries. So here this is, no disclaimers needed.

Love,

Your ready-for-spring Swan

#music #easterntunes #folkmusic #turkwaz

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