be gay do crime

[sailermoon]

all my life I’ve felt like this guy

[ca314159bara]

if you're having trouble sleeping the best you can do is put a bright object close to your face and look at it for at least 30 minutes. if that doesn't work you can close your eyes but make sure to think really hard about a bunch of bullshit

[csny]

everymorning: i think im about to die. i think im going to die. im actually going to die. this is it. im going to die. im going to die immediately.

every single night: lock in. OK. Lock In. Change your Life. I love you. Lock in. This is going to be big. I’m going to change the world. Ready? I love you. Lock in. I have an idea. Lock in.

[fishpondfish]

not everything is getting worse. at least you don't hear high hopes by panic at the disco every day anymore

[phantomrose96]

job interviewer: would you be willing to destroy and betray yourself for nothing?

[pukicho]

The nude beach has the best seashells. This fucking sucks. I love seashells but I hate penis.

[ceruleanheaven]

all that and i havent killed myself yet i must really love this stupid fucking life

[apricops]

*trying to pitch public transportation to Americans* it’s like a legal form of texting while driving

[redstonedust]

thinking "everyone can tell im bad at this" as i stand completely motionless doing nothing in public

[tomhoppusdelonge]

sorry for the mixed signals I don’t know what I want or what I’m doing mostly

[loveridden1999]

the thing about phone in bed is that it's so awesome. almost makes you feel like betraying & destroying yourself for nothing isn't all so bad

[thedreadpiratecam]

microdosing hell by being awake and literate

[lazarus-lazuli]

i have no comment this is just the funniest fucking thing i’ve seen all day

[meanbuddhist]

just identified a behavioral pattern within myself

[leonbutchkennedy]

[srdcovka]

[pukicho]

FUCK. PEEL. WHY DONT YOU PEEL