talk fanfic to me

Lilo || masterpost || current obsession: Star Wars longfics || I'm in my twenties, a queer feminist, on tumblr since 2012 and this blog is about me, life, music, politics, badass ladies, my main fandoms The Old Guard, LotR, Good Omens, Gunpowder Milkshake, Star Trek and other Sci-Fi, EUReKA, Warehouse 13, Doctor Who and everything else I like or don't like ;) I'm lilolilyrae on another tumblr, instagram and ao3, let me know when you're coming from tumblr and what your url is/was here when you find me on the other sites! :) || this is not an sfw blog! If you are under 18 or just don't want to see that kind of content, block the tags 'smut' and 'horny on main' or don't follow this blog.

[lilolilyr]

Podfics, fics and fic headers I made for femslash valentine's gift exchanges @femslashevents & @b-and-w-holiday-gift-exchange! It's been fun :D

All of the individual posts are here on tumblr!

Podfic: Not The End, Willow/Tara (Buffy, 4min)

Podfic: A Little Treehouse (Marvel, 5min)

Podfic: Oh, The Heavy Heart (ThursdayMurderClub, 20min)

Fic: a physical manifestation of trust (Leverage, 1.5k)

Podfic: Peace in an Ocean of Chaos (Marvel, 2min)

Fic: University to Univille (Warehouse 13, 9k)

[lilolilyr]

In this podfic project, Shane gives impromptu sex education!

Text by guarddog|theslymoon, podfic voices recorded by @xianvar @elany @meggiejolly @robinfai @vexbatch @apple-sapling, narrated by me, the separate audio parts cut together and edited by xia :)

~30min audio, rated M, no warnings, humor

Listen on Ao3 • more heated rivalry podfics

[lilolilyr]

My Hollanov tag list, lmk if you want me to add you to or take you off the list: @toboldlynerd @spookyvoidangelskeleton @live-laugh-love-ao3 @scentedsandwichgarden-blog

[isbergillustration]

Prideful Awooing

[iwrotemrtambourineman]

ilya telling shane about irina and how they were best friends and he hung out with her all the time and he was her protector and he would skip school on her bad days to brush her hair and make sure she ate something even if it was just tea and she was an angel and you know shane is calculating how best to gently bring up to his husband that that doesn’t sound like it was very fair to child ilya without ilya reacting like a wild fucking animal

[russianblush]

Best Lead Performer, Drama Series is....Hudson Williams!

[lavenderprose]

To be clear. Shane's whole thing about Ilya being a Sex God is because of the limerence. Ilya is nineteen and he can get a rhythm going and that's about it. He was throwing shit at the wall when he hit that 'Get on your knees' in Nashville but only he knows that because Shane's brain turned OFF. Ilya said "Let's do a little experiment here" and the results were "Oh my god oh my god oh my god." Shane came hands free because he was that obsessed with the idea of Ilya Rozanov being inside him. Ilya said "Do you like that do you like that" because he's nineteen and he needs the validation and Shane was like "YES YES YES I LIKE IT OH MY GOD YOU'RE SO DEEP YOU'RE SO GOOD" and objectively. It was okay. Ilya fully did not know where to put his hands a couple of times. He forgot about Shane's dick. Luckily, Shane is God's special angel who can come from the idea of Ilya's cockhead being in proximity to his prostate a few times. Mind over matter, says Shane Hollander's dick. And then Ilya said "Oh God Hollander" because it was also, objectively, one of the hottest things that had ever happened to HIM, Ilya Rozanov. Shane sits on that step afterwards plotting about how he's gonna get this over and over and over again for the rest of his life and he has no idea that there are women in Boston who have Ilya listed in their contacts as "Hockey Guy 6/10". Shane Hollander cannot fathom a world in which Ilya Rozanov doesn't lay the maddest pipe this side of Lake Michigan. "Ilya Rozanov is a some kind of nineteen year old sex God" No Shane honey he was just designed in a lab to score goals and make you cum and he's done scoring goals for the night.

[imharnaannesta]

I would say Ilya is probably above average, skills wise, for his age and his secret is that he checks in constantly and takes feedback well.

He’s a high level athlete with an unstable home life who actually cares whether his partner is having a good time. He is extremely sensitive to the signals other people are putting out and he is paying attention. And he’s built a career on some level on being willing and able to repeat a motion over and over until he’s told it’s right and then replicate that consistently. That probably translates pretty well to sex. So Ilya probably has a solid, well-earned reputation as a good sexual partner, but he’s not naturally gifted or super experienced when he first hooks up with Shane.

He’s just actually trying to make sure Shane has a good time.

[bedupolker]

She should be at the club

Baby mouse had earplugs in the sketch and I straight up forgot to ink them pretend they're deep in there

Meanwhile not at the club:

[bowelfly]

I was so enamored by the party shrew this morning I had to doodle her in my lab notebook at work

[bedupolker]

shrew girls after just ONE mezcal worm:

[l0cadef4nfock]

Prime Centaurs Hollander and Rozanov didn’t lose a single fucking game during their first season together and you can’t convince me otherwise.

Their first game of the season? Ended 13-0, partly due to how amazing Shane and Ilya and the rest of the team were, but mostly due to how unprepared the other team was, because no matter how good they knew Hollander and Rozanov were apart, nobody could predict just how good they’ll be together:

10 of these 13 goals were scored by Ilya and Shane because Weibe convinced them to make a bet on who would score the most goals in their first season for a “special reward” in June. Shane got a double hat trick and Ilya almost managed to look salty about loosing the bet in their first round.

Their first game against Montreal? Oh baby these metro fans were shocked at just how badly their previously almost undefeated team lost to fucking Ottawa. Shane gave an intermission interview at that game, and when he was asked how it felt to play against his former team for the first time he just stared at the camera, still panting from his 2 goals 2 assists 9:48 minutes of ice time 15 shots on goal and one fight he watched with Wyatt from the crease in the first period and says “I don’t see much of a difference, it’s just like playing any other team, the metros are still a very talented team and it’s always fun to have a challenge on the ice. Alright, I- yeah, thank you.” Then leaves and you can just barely hear Rozanov shouting from the locker room “why are you lying to press Hollander!”

During playoffs in one “tough” (the other team has scored more than two goals and it’s probably a season record against the Cens) game Weibe puts Ilya as a right wing and Shane as center on the first line and the other team has never been so fucking scared in their entire lives. The two are putting up an average of almost 15 minutes of play every period seemingly without getting tired. Ilya keeps stealing pucks to give to Shane to bury in the net. Their passes always connect. Every goal Shane scored Ilya assists and vice versa. Hayes got so bored he sang the entire wicked musical soundtrack twice without getting interrupted even once. The bench is laughing and cheering them on like the team next to them isn’t close to tears. Rozanov keeps cross checking everyone just to hear Hollander’s “Rozanov for fuck’s sake!” like they don’t have a seven goal lead. And after the game these bitches (Shane) have the audacity to mutter “good game” as they’re shaking hands with a smile on their face like they haven’t destroyed any ounce of self respect those men had.

They won the Stanley cup (obviously) and the pose the team chose was Hollander and Rozanov kissing in front of it while the entire team cheers them on. Harris posts it to Instagram, and Ilya reposts it with the caption “Stanley cup is gay too now I don’t make rules. Guess you won’t ever touch it again ever oh well” and it blows the fuck up. Shane has one rare non sponsored post on his instagram and it’s a series of pictures including Ilya cuddling with the cup, eating borscht out of it, showing it Fast and Furious 5, and driving around with it hanging out of the open car roof with bad bunny playing on the radio.

[daveedmee]

explosion at health potion factory 0 dead 0 injured

[the-haiku-bot]

explosion at health

potion factory 0

dead 0 injured

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

How It Started vs. How It Ended

[only-cat-memes]

[kittybroker]

Warning!! Bad cat alert! Only 50 cents for a foul creature!

[bone-cement-huffer]

memeception

[hashtagloveloses]

WE’VE HIT TERMINAL MEME

[bl00dlikeice]

@caesarianconfection

[fidefortitude-deactivated202011]

I’ve said “I hate this” so many times on this website, and never actually meant it, because “I hate this” is just shorthand for ‘this is an example of a meme given a twist I wasn’t expecting with intent to surprise’. Which is, in of itself, a meme on this site. God damn it.

But this… This is something else.

The rapidity of a meme’s introduction to its zenith to its decline is so rapid that in ten years, you’ll need a damn twenty-page manual to explain this. It’ll be as unfunny and hard to explain as jokes in Shakespeare plays, except even more inexplicable because fuck, at least Shakespeare’s jokes are usually about anal or fucking your mother, good wholesome sex jokes we can all get behind.

For the love of fuck, how do you explain loss.jpg? How do you explain gun?

[mommacomms]

….I THOUGHT THIS WAS A YMCA REFERENCE

[pagesofkenna]

it is a YMCA reference - that’s one of the 6 memes being represented here

ok let me see if i can break this down easily. YMCA is the easiest place to start - the song itself has become a meme over time with people changing the lyrics to reference other pop cultural events. so YMCA is meme one (1)

this first lyric replacement (”take the breadsticks and run”) is a reference to the tumblr meme ‘stuffing breadsticks into my purse’. i think everyone remembers that one so i wont bother to explain it. that’s meme two (2)

“man door hand hook car door” is a meme of its own, a creepypasta from i dont remember when. it was a terrible stupid retelling of the generic ‘stuck in a car while hook handed man tries to kill us’ story so the stupid title caught on for memorability. that in and of itself is meme three (3)

‘gun’ is… yeah i dont know how to explain gun. long story short you add gun to the end of a phrase instead of what you expect the last word to be. its shock funny. its everywhere but its popular to add to “man door hand hook car door” for.. some reason? gun is meme four (4)

and the thing is, this four meme combo is something thats gone around before. meme combos are, itself, a meme. which means taking this meme combo and mixing in another meme actually becomes meme five (5)

which leaves us at loss.jpg. loss.jpg was a terrible bad comic supposed to be about some tragic event, but it was presented so poorly literally no one takes it seriously, and for some reason recreating the four-panel setup has become popular. so thats meme six (6)

(but i need to add that this is the greatest version of loss.jpg i think i’ve ever seen. the initial ‘young man’ lines up with the guy bursting through the door, and the shock meme ‘gun’ matches the shock scene of the woman in the hospital and idk if OP even thought about that but it makes this just so much better)

[animatedamerican]

I wasn’t going to reblog this, but @pagesofkenna‘s comprehensive meme-by-meme annotation is a thing of beauty and should be shared.

[captainlordauditor]

average tumblr post contains one meme, this post, which contains six, is an outlier and should not be counted

[japhers]

it might also just be a coincidence due to loss.jpg’s format but the whole white minimalist four-panel setup is also suspiciously reminiscent of those early 2000’s rage comics

[maps-and-elvis-and-zelda-n-shit]

I was getting a political compass vibe too

[your-uncle-dave]

tag urself im man door hand hook car gun

[politicalcompassmemes]

This works better than I thought it would.

[chiribomb-deactivated20220820]

This was in my senior project

[kait-the-kitty]

I’m not sorry.

[panickedmartian]

EIGHT MEME COMBO

[smooththegoofyshark]

FATALITY

[soda-soda-pop-deactivated202005]

We have officially created a new language 

[soda-soda-pop-deactivated202005]

I just had to do it to em

[phoneykin]

THIS FUCKING THREAD I’M GONNA CRY

I LOST IT AND MAN DOOR HAND HOOK CAR GUN AND DIDN’T EXPECT MORE I’M SOBBING

[soda-soda-pop-deactivated202005]

M E M E T E N

[soda-soda-pop-deactivated202005]

OwO?

[garecc]

[your-one-true-prince]

W o w

[screamingveryslowly]

You know I had to

[bone-cement-huffer]

I hope you know this is the most cursed addition to my post, and I love it

[joyriding-in-the-fandoms]

THIRTEEN!?

[junepop45]

SOMEONE EDIT THIS FROM THE ORIGINAL PHOTO SAYING “this one does not spark joy” TO THIS VERSION SAYING “this one sparks joy”

[astral-ghoul-deactivated2025100]

[moved-to-ancient-gaylienz]

well i added my contribution : )

why—

[fandersunite]

IM SCREAMING

[robynspreciousnest]

This is the most elaborate meme I have ever seen and damn am I concerned by how it makes sense.

[operahousebookworm]

“You’re in your 30s, but you still understand all this meme stuff?” “Oh yeah, sure.” “Can you explain it to me?” “I absolutely fucking cannot.”

[sword-and-nightingale]

One does not simply explain this

[sword-and-nightingale]

Edit:

Another freaking layer!!!

[shitposting-hobbits-to-gallifrey]

16 motherfucking layers

[catbxy]

In the future someone’s going to ask me to explain this and I’m going to be at a loss.jpg for words

[official-lucifers-child]

you just… understand this. you do not get to explain it, nor would you be able to explain it. you simply understand the meme in and of itself.

[norcross]

imagine the valuable information my brain could be holding on to instead of all of this historical meme knowledge.

[jenroses]

Preserve this thread for future memeologists, unearthing a server in the far future, because suddenly it will make 30% of Tumblr actually make sense to them.

[eeveemationstudios]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

[greenindex]

My contribution

[it-s-sophia-uwu]

Have some memes in this trying time

[wizardarchetypes]

whenever i accidentally like a comment/reply on a post so i unlike it bc i think it makes me look nosy but then im like well shoot it's gonna show up in their notifications and i dont want it to look like i DISLIKED their comment so let me put my like back. that's when i know i need to log off for a day bc why am i thinking that hard about it.

[titsay]

[stabthroughme]

Shane who joins the Centaurs and gets to have Ilya 24/7 now.

They still cling to each other, but it's just as common to get kisses where they're both holding things (hockey gear, plates of food, etc) or have their hands in their pockets where the only thing touching each other is their lips.

And it's a whole other level of hedonistic affection. It drives both of them crazy that they can just have this.

They will be bickering back and forth, Ilya's hands full of hockey gear and Shane's hands in his pockets and then pause because Ilya just says "kiss" and they kiss and go right back to bickering. Only their lips have touched.

Because they don't need to cling to each other every chance they get, not anymore. Because the world knows that Shane is Ilya's and Ilya is Shane's and nobody looks twice at them exchanging quick kisses.

[teh-nos]

this fic is so good i hope i write it

[creditednature]

Trithemis festiva immature male 3702 West of Epta Piges, Rhodes, Greece. - Description and photo by Henrik Gyurkovics