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Dating > Dating Out of Your League

Whether you’re dating someone that’s intellectually, physically, financially, or socially out of your league, it can definitely be intimidating. We’ve all been victim to one side or the other: are we the settlers or the reachers? (HIMYM reference) Have we settled for someone less than we thought we deserved, or have we reached for someone greater? We’ve also all been on the other side judging. I’ve heard it countless times: “The girl looked like a model—a 10/10 and she was with a guy that was certainly below a 5/10.” “How are they dating? He’s way too smart for her – they’ll have nothing to talk about.” And this is where it all starts: societal expectations of what you deserve based on who you are. However, buying into these expectations and beliefs can really put a strain on dating due to the constant second-guessing. Am I worthy of this person? Do they think less of me? But in reality, your partner probably doesn’t care – that’s why they’re dating you, right? They may be smarter, more good-looking, wealthier, or more popular, but they made a conscious decision to date YOU. It’s really only a problem you’ve built up in your head out of your own insecurities. A difference in “leagues” may be present, but if the person you’re dating likes you for you, does it really matter?

What can you do? If you want to read up on subjects to catch up with their intelligence or wear a little more make up to feel prettier – do it. But from personal experience, this can sometimes get tiring. The best thing to do is work on your insecurities – whether it be changing your mind-set or improving your skills – it’s really all about what you think of yourself.

Reference Guy: Frank

sotick

“You say you love rain, but you use an umbrella to walk under it. You say you love sun, but you seek shelter when it is shining. You say you love wind, but when it comes you close your windows. So that’s why I’m scared when you say you love me.”

— Bob Marley (via coral)