.. What

Writing is my therapy. It helps me not explode. It's not the best. Enjoy if you would like.

[mytherapy1]

A customer told me at work that I seem really happy to be working. Only if they knew my smile was as fake as my will to live.

[mytherapy1]

Triggers: When You Don't Have One

For someone with Depression and Anxiety, there is a thing called Trigger Warning. They are actions, feelings, movements that can trigger your anxiety which could cause you to have an attack. Some people can name off every thing that triggers while other can’t even figure out what starts up their anxiety. I’m one of those people that can’t find out what triggers them. My anxiety most of the time is me just waking up sad. From the moment I’m up the sadness just begins to increase and my thoughts to increase and by dinner time I’m a crying mess in a ball, screaming to the top of my lungs and crying until my tears are out. Loneliness, I feel like is a trigger. When I’m alone and I see my friends out having fun and my social anxiety is barricading my thoughts to the point I start screaming as I cry. Another trigger can be when it gets busy at work and I can’t even breathe… Depression and Anxiety fucking sucks

[mytherapy1]

Loneliness: What Depression Wants From You

Depression is well the forever feeling of sadness. It also in a nutshell is like a stereotypical girl. A stereotypical girl wants you to know how they are feeling without them telling you how they are feeling. Depression is that. You want people to know that you are hurting, but you can’t tell them because you don’t want them to worry/ know that you are in so much pain. You kind of want people to notice that you aren’t your usual self, but if they do notice it feels like… Like pity. Like they feel sorry for you that you are depressed and can’t control it… Yeah

[macdoesit]

The best gender is????

47

[mytherapy1]

Beautiful: Am I Really That?

There are beautiful people every where you turn. The beautiful Instagram that you at least follow one. Your friends you would die to be. The famous people that you see on every magazine you buy. Beauty is not all the same; some might not find some thing beautiful as others do. It is all on the eye of the beholder. But what if the eye never finds you beautiful? What if the eyes are yours?

[instagram]

Today’s Weekly Fluff: Two Sleepy Kittens from Japan

To join in on nap time, follow @riepoyonn on Instagram.

Hello, world! It’s time to meet today’s #WeeklyFluff: two sleepy kittens named Amelie and Canele (@riepoyonn). These twins live in Japan and love spending their time curled up in a warm ball, snoozing away.

[poems-and-word]

[mytherapy1]

Therapy: You Can Get Comfortable

Therapy, it's usually where you sit on a couch and have some one listen to your problems and they give you advice/ solutions to them. Therapy can or can not work, it all depends if you tell the therapist everything that is going on and if you actually take their advice. I've been going to therapy since my senior of high school. My therapist has help me so much. I now only get panic attacks once in a great blue moon, I can go to certain places by myself, and I can talk to my coworkers. I've been seeing her so long that I've gotten comfortable. By comfortable, I mean she is like a friend. Meaning, I can't tell her the major depressive causing issues in my life. I've been lieing on my monthly anxiety and depression sheets saying I'm "half of the days" when I should be "most of the days." It's like I'm afraid she will judge me, but I know she is my therapist and won't.... Yeah.

[capricornhumor]

[in-my-thinking]

I am I

I am strong But inside I’m weak Feel like eternal sleep I am calm But inside storms rage I just keep them caged I am dependable Reliability undeniable But I know I’m expendable I am husband Always there side by side But true fears we sometimes hide I am father But never had my own As at young age me he disowned I am brother My elder a better dancer Only sibling I liked taken early by cancer I am clever Far too for my own good Seeing things no others could I am me I am I So much more Than meets the eye Yet who really gives a damn And sometimes I question Who the fuck I am

[moonlight-eternallove]

[mytherapy1]

I love Sailor Moon

[dsxsbx]

Untitled by Ben Hicks

[amidstsilence]

| early morning |

shop

[mytherapy1]

Relationships: You Can Still Feel Alone In One

You know when you go on Facebook and see a couple and one part of them would just list all their significant others great doings and how they make them extremely happy. As if being in a relationship just took their sorrows away. That's not completely true for some people. I've been in a relationship for almost a year now. Yes, they make happy and as if my sorrows can disappear with them. But not all sorrows.. As someone with depression and social anxiety, I can't control my sadness level and I've had plenty of attacks and shed many of tears in front of them. Their arms like a new world to me. They make sure I'm okay and will wait for me to be ready to talk after any of these meltdowns. I never want to leave their arms. Which is the problem as of lately. It's like they have become my antidepressants, which I refuse to take, and I'm addicted to it. When they leave; most of my happiness leaves. The only thing that keeps me grounded and anxiety from barricading my mind has to go home, but I never I want them too. That's when the thoughts start to stir the pot until I'm just a vegetable of sadness... Yeah.

[mytherapy1]

Weight: How I’m Obsess With It

I’ve always been the smallest person in the room ever since I was a child. My parents were very tiny as well when they were my age. During my first year of college, I lived in a dorm which fucked me up. My social anxiety got so mad that I was terrified to leave my room; not even to eat. Weekends were the worst because I wouldn’t eat at all. Usually, you gain weight; I lost eleven pounds.I went from 103 pounds to 92 pounds; which is not healthy. I’ve gain it all back, but I’ve become more conscious about my weight. I know I’m too skinny and it grosses me out. My arms can show you that. I weigh myself constantly and I try to eat as much as I can, but I just can’t gain weight... Yeah

[mytherapy1]

Wishes: They Don't Really Come True

Starting at a young age, we are ask what we wish for in life. What do we want be when we grow up? What we want our future to be? When you're a child, wishes are something that if we don't tell anybody and throw that penny in the fountain it will come true. If only that was the truth. As we become of age, the punch in the face of reality leaves it's redness and sadness takes its toll. I wish dreams did come true. Maybe I wouldn't be so sad if they all came true.

[mytherapy1]

Beautiful: How Do You Become It?

For as long as I remember I’ve never looked at myself as an adverb or an adjective. I’ve never really notice beauty until college; no one, to me, looked beautiful or attractive. I’ve always seen people as faces, just that. I remember one day, I got out of the shower and I just stared in the mirror. I looked myself in the mirror and tried to find something that I would find beautiful. I didn’t find anything. I found flaws; my nose is too crooked, my arms are so thin you can see all my vein from my fingertips to my shoulder, you can see every bone in my torso, how I have dark circles that never leave. When I was a child, I don’t really have memories of people calling me beautiful; cute, but not beautiful. I’m asexual and I’ve never seen a person beautiful until a romantic attraction was developed. Do I need to love myself to find myself beautiful?