my view. my voice

"The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision." Helen Keller

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A Love Letter in A minor

Dear NYC, It began with a wake-up call about tickets to see the must-see Alicia Keys musical “Hells Kitchen” at 2pm. It wasn’t the way I wanted to spend my day, but as Nas once said, “Live your life, girl.” I get to the theatre not fully familiar with the award-winning musical Hell’s Kitchen in Times Square surprisingly without incident because forty-deuce during holiday is not the biz. We get…

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"How's It Goin' Down"

“How’s It Goin’ Down”

I was headed to Miami the day DMX (X) transitioned. That weekend the venues showed X mad love, but I knew the energy wouldn’t be the same as in New York. When his memorial service was held at the Barclay Center in Brooklyn, I was on another flight out. However, I did see a video of the bikes going down Atlantic Avenue and it took me back to spring and summer of 1998. As a matter of fact, today…

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katy perrys new song is giving me life in this library 

[fantasies]

i will reblog this every time i see it

[madnessandhoney]

this is one of my favorite videos of all time

[madnessandhoney]

katy perrys new song is giving me life in this library 

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I am thinking about what Chadwick Boseman meant to us and how in 2018, he and the cast of Black Panther, inspired and reminded us of our greatness, brilliance, love, nuances and complexities as Black people. When the movie was announced in 2016, it trended due to the excitement of seeing a Black superhero get his own movie. And when opening weekend came, we showed up and showed out. When we left, we beamed with Black love and Black pride.

But in the wake of hearing of Boseman’s transitioning at the age of 43, I keep thinking of the one story that always made my heart smile. When he made 42, the biopic about baseball player, Jackie Robinson, his wife, Rachel Annetta Robinson, was in awe of Boseman. This is because Boseman did what the heart-shaped herb did for Black Panther, it brought Robinson back to life and Mrs. Robinson got to see her husband, again.

Nicole Beharie and Chadwick Boseman playing Rachel and Jackie Robinson in 42.

Rachel Robinson hugging Chadwick Boseman who played Jackie Robinson in 42.

Since seeing 42 and learning of this story, I have been fond of Chadwick Boseman and like millions was excited to see him bring Black Panther to life. I was not disappointed. Although he played more roles, playing T’Challa has left a legacy of an immeasurable magnitude beyond record breaking box-office numbers. Because you can’t quantify the dreams and aspirations of the children who pretend to be T’Challa and develop a love for technology (and yes, we must credit Zuri, played by Letitia Wright, too). And you can’t measure the message of (re)connecting with our ancestors. The heart-shaped herb fueled Wakanda’s future and linked it to its’ past…Just like Chadwick Boseman’s legacy.

Rest well and thank you, Chadwick.

WAKANDA FOREVER!

Chadwick Boseman and the Heart-shaped Herb I am thinking about what Chadwick Boseman meant to us and how in 2018, he and the cast of…

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As the co-director of a CUNY undergraduate program, I have been fortunate to meet some amazing young people, who teach and inspire me. Earlier, I had a conversation with two of them, Kia and Steven along with my director Lauren (aka L-Boogie/Boogs). At one point, Steven confesses that he appreciates his conversations with Kia because it provokes thought, helps him to see another perspective and there is a mutual respect based on their experiential knowledge and everything that comes with it including the socio-emotional aspects. Steven gave Kia her flowers because their conversations helped him to be a better Steven.

Since meeting each other two years ago, they have had candid conversations across many subjects. I wasn’t there for many of them, but when I was around, it was like watching a tennis match with their back and forth. It wasn’t for “winning” however, it was for understanding and building community. Steven also confessed why he sometimes challenges what Kia says, not to be a jerk, but to make sure that the reasoning is solid. This is part of his survival mechanism—it’s not a resistance to her views. However, Kia is unwavering because she knows her shit. Yet, her cup is never full when it comes to learning new things.

Leaders of the new school: Kia and Steven

All Smiles.

After Kia accepted her flowers she stated she wasn’t aware of her impact on Steven and now she understands why the conversations panned out the way they did. Kia admitted that because of the way is sometimes perceived, she usually chooses to be silent. Up until then, Boogs and I were quiet, but I had to interrupt Kia. As brilliant as she is, Kia has her reservations for certain conversations because…colonialism. A lot of conversations haven’t gone over well because many weren’t ready and therefore deemed the way she was getting her point across as negative. The J. Cole and No Name exchange popped into my mind. Nah fam, we need to talk about this.

I referenced the shortcomings of what transpired between J.Cole and No Name. Cole wanted that real love that dark-skin aunt Viv love, but when he got it, he couldn’t handle it. Apparently, there are no role modelz to help him understand that the canvas he painted of No Name was how he wanted her to be presented and that her smile was “crooked” for a reason. Moreover, it’s hard to love yourz when they need to be saved from the ideologies that they are using against their own. No Name addressed Cole in one minute and nine seconds in a track titled, “Song 33.” “[She], hot, dog, catch up to [her] ni–a—couldn’t resist.” (No really, I couldn’t resist. Lol.) Unfortunately, No Name later apologized, which weakened the need for the exchange of young Black America among the sexes. This was far from a distraction; this is part of a daily problem and if we are to move forward together, we need to have conversations about where we stand and how we feel.

Vy Smith, Uncle Phil and Aunt Viv raising their fists in the air to represent Black power and solidarity.

Kia and Steven had the conversation Cole and No Name should have had. They exhibited a blueprint for dialogue that is imperative to progress such as actually listening to each other; having mutual respect and reserving judgment for things you are trying to understand. Also note, not all messages are received the same time that they are given. Sometimes it takes times. Sometimes it takes repetition. Sometimes it’s the messenger. (This is loaded and probably a factor as to why Cole felt a way.  Would he feel the same if  No Name was a guy?)

Nevertheless, Kia and Steven are leaders and like James Baldwin and Audre Lorde, their conversations provide “Revolutionary Hope.”

    Conversations: For Kia and Steven As the co-director of a CUNY undergraduate program, I have been fortunate to meet some amazing young people, who teach and inspire me.

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One Day at a Time

One Day at a Time

Hi, how are you? (Before you continue, seriously answer the question.)

As for me, when asked, I have been saying the same thing since New York was quarantined, “Taking it one day at a time.” This is whether I have highs or lows so that I do not add to the weight that others may be carrying. My lows had me feeling like I was in the twilight zone and the “highs” usually plummeted within 48 hours.…

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Fall in Love, Again

Fall in Love, Again

It’s important to me that my first piece of 2020 is about love. With drafts in my notepad on my phone, I began to write notes about my love for hip-hop in December. A couple weeks ago, I explained to my homeboy how I fell in love with hip-hop three times and would title the piece, “Three’s a Charm.” My schedule and my priorities kept pushing the piece back like a rap album.

Last Sunday on my way…

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I saw Queen & Slim (Q&S) and liked it but had some major issues with it. However what intrigued me the most about the movie wasn’t their ride to freedom, but the rides, themselves. There were six distinct automobiles that Queen (Jodie Turner-Smith) and Slim (Daniel Kaluuya) were in that made me use a different lens to view the film (I saw it twice). If you don’t know by now, I think in hip-hop. So, as I watched Q&S and listened to the film score, I couldn’t help but think of the article “‘Can’t C Me’: Surveillance and Rap Music” by Erik Nielson which used 2Pac’s “Can’t C Me,” to argue how Black Americans, more specifically rappers, use cars for (in)visibility and evade the police. Hop in, let me take you on a ride.

“The car has always been an important symbol of wealth and mobility in African American culture…” Erik Nielson

The White Honda Accord Religion is a major theme throughout this film. From conversations and prayers to rosaries hanging from the review mirror of cars, to crosses hanging in bedrooms and morgues. The first car of Q&S journey is Slim’s white (a symbol of purity) Honda Accord. Slim, a God-fearing man, license plate reads: TRUST GOD. How much more obvious can it be?

Hondas are Japanese cars and to me it represented the “outsider” or the “other” in America unlike a European foreign whip (But I will get to that later). Despite acclimating to the whiteness of America and having faith in God, Q&S were still targeted by the oppressive state. The white car mirrored its owner; an innocent outsider in America. Therefore, they couldn’t avoid the gaze (re: surveillance) because by default they were seen as other. So, no matter how much Slim complied the officer wanted some smoke…until he got (accidentally) smoked.

The Ford Pick-up Truck They go on the run until they run out of gas and have to flag down a vehicle. Slim hoped the person was Black, Queen warned that just because the person is Black doesn’t make it a good thing. An initially unsuspecting off-duty sheriff volunteered to give them a ride to the gas station. Things go left and they end up with the truck but forget their wallets in the Honda. Smh. They find some money in the glove compartment of the truck and get a little boy to buy them food from a mom-n- pop joint. The boy’s father recognize them and tells them how much he appreciates what they are doing…

This. Is. America. For survival purposes, they “abandon” the Honda and steal the Ford (read: acclimate). Metaphorically, the pick-up truck is the burden of being Black in America. Not everyone carries this intersectional burden the same way, but it does exist regardless of where you live in America. Moreover, there are other factors that impact this burden such as “succeeding.” For example, Q&S learned that they were “heroes” from the Black father, who raised his fist to salute them. They were on the lam, and at one point had to process how their actions affected Black America. It kind of reminds me of the weight of immigrant parents hopes and dreams on their first-generation children who have difficulty navigating through systemic oppression of various institutions. Or maybe I’m projecting—maybe. Anyways, they were broke. So, they had to “rob” a gas station, but hey, “it’s the American way.” Word to Nino Brown. What do I mean? Historically, getting things in America was done by money and violence. Think about it.

PONTIAC Catalina Next is my favorite car of the journey, the blue Pontiac Catalina which meandered in and out of the white gaze in Queen and Slim’s journey, which makes it the most complex. When they reach to New Orleans to see Queen’s uncle, Earl (Bookeem Woodbine), there is an unmasking that is done via conversation and hair cutting, but I am getting ahead of myself…Q&S need a plan to escape and decide on fleeing to Cuba. Queen gives Uncle Earl a list of demands including one of his cars because he owes her. Goddess (Indya Moore), one of the ladies of the residence suggested the Catalina, the blue car. Uncle Earl didn’t hesitate to correct her and says: It’s turquoise!

Catalina & Goddy

He argued that its’ visibility would draw attention, but Queen’s counter-argument is that by standing out, they will fit in because no one is suspecting two people running from the law to be in a bright, big blue car. With reluctance, Uncle Earl agreed to let go and give them the Catalina.We later learn from Goddess aka Goddy that Uncle Earl “ain’t shit” in the streets, but inside of their house, he is king. And an extension of his kingdom would be his car, hence his attachment.

The outlaws get haircuts and Slim starts to learn why his Tinder date-turned-accomplice is so cold and distance…And as fate would have it, they needed to leave Uncle Earl sooner than expected as the Ford pick-up truck drew suspicion from NOPD. In the early morning, they take the truck to a desolate location and they burn it. Metaphorically, they were letting go of the weight they were carrying, just like their haircuts. Uncle Earl and Goddy bid them farewell and we see Queen soften and tell Uncle Earl she loves him.

“Here and elsewhere, the car becomes another example of the tension between seeking attention and trying to avoid it: It is large, colorful, and (when appropriately waxed) gleaming, and with its stereo bumping, incredibly loud and difficult to ignore, yet the driver and its occupants often remain unidentifiable.” Erik Nielson

For those of a certain age, in the Black community, Pontiac is the acronym for Poor Ol’ Ni–a Think It’s ACadillac. The Cadillac (which is driven later in the movie) back in the day was the crème de la crème of automobiles. It’s a symbol of “you made it,” but if you couldn’t afford it, Pontiac was a more affordable option.

The white gaze was temporarily blinded by the turquoise Catalina, which allowed Q&S to go unnoticed across state lines because according to the logics, no one on the run does it with such flair, but in America, we don’t see it that way. As they continue on their journey, the couple spotted horses grazing Queens tells Slim that her uncle said that white men hated black men on horses because they had to look up to them. Slim gets hyped and decided he wants to ride one for the first time. He does so before the owner starts yelling at them and they have to run. Day turns to night and Slim hears live music and wants to dance. They go to the source of the music; a bar called the Underground playing live Mississippi blues. With some cajoling, Slim gets Queen to dance with him for their “second date” and promises to buy her a drink. They connect through music and dancing. Queen asks for her drink in which Slim obliged. The bartender informed Slim that the drinks were on the house, she (and others) knew who they were and that they were safe. Initially Q&S panicked, but then let it go and continued dancing till they were ready to go. (They should have never left.)

As they continued to Uncle Earl’s friend house, the Catalina breaks down. Slim had to push the car to a mechanic shop in broad daylight and no one notices them. Again, they are recognized by the mechanic, but nothing here is on the house. The mechanic gets his son, Junior, to take them on a walk. There is a conversation about memory, being loved and immortality. When they return, the Catalina is ready to go, but before they peel off, Slim wants to take a pic to be remembered by.

Benz Station Wagon aka The Foreign They pull up to Uncle Earl’s friend, Mr. Shepherd (Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers!) home and across the street is a white woman on her porch being nosey—we know how this is going to play out. Uncle Earl’s friend knows a guy with a plane that will help them get to Cuba. As they ate dinner, SWAT surrounded the house and Q&S had to go into hiding. They get cabin fever from their hiding spot and decide to leave, but they know that police are outside and have to figure out a way. After a crazy stunt and a dislocated shoulder, they found a Benz in a garage, but no key. Slim used to steal his dad’s Accura without a key back in the day and after a few tries with a screwdriver they got the car to start. With a little help from an unlikely ally, they were able to evade the police. After some driving along the coastline, Queen slides out of the window holds onto the car with one hand and lets the other hand go free—something she has always wanted to do. She is liberated…and wants Slim to feel the same—so they switch places. However, Slim isn’t as graceful and almost falls out the car so Queen has to drive slow for him to get the same effect. Night is upon them again, Queen requests a story from Slim and then they both knock out.

“2Pac’s power is derived from his invisibility—he establishes control over his own image by denying everyone else’s access to it.” Erik Nielson

The car that they steal is an old Benz station wagon—a Benz, nevertheless…This is when the concept of this piece kicks in. Slim was determined that with or without the key, they were riding. After a while, foreign (read: German) luxury cars including the Mercedes Benz and the BMW replaced American cars and become king for Blacks and many Americans. Have you ever heard of the “Black Man’s Wish”? However, it’s not easily (economically) accessible to (Q&S) us, and if we want it—we will get it just may take a little longer (shout to my dad and his one-time foreign, “Big Boy”). These cars are about status and mobility. And so, we watch how Queen easily adapted to the status and mobility sitting outside of the window, while Slim struggled before he was able to adjust. The terms “acting brand new” and “don’t know how to act” speaks to this scene when some—not all Blacks—start experiencing change in status and mobility like Slim. Before, I play myself, Queen sitting outside the car window was about being liberated and evading the gaze and its consequences. She was breathing and “acting brand new” in a good way. However, the fact that she does it in the Benz, goes back to those who climb the financial and social ladder, to evade poverty and can handle it.

The Cadillac It’s nighttime now. They don’t know where they are, but they think they are close to their destination. They wake up to a Black guy with a sawed off shotty and mouth full of gold teeth. Slim asks if he knew the Shepherds. The guy doesn’t give straight answers, but isn’t mean and says that he can help them. They go back to Goldmouth’s trailer where he arranges for them to get a plane for the next day. Slim insists that they need the plane the same day. Goldmouth makes another call and tells Q&S that they can get a plane in an hour and drives them in a Cadillac. This is the first time neither Queen or Slim drove. They are no longer in control. Goldmouth tells them how paranoid he would be and how he has to watch his back from the police and his own people. They get to the plane and it’s a set up. They die a poetic death.

OK, Let’s talk cars (yes, this transition is jarring, you’ll live to tell about it). The Cadillac in its’ prime was the dream car before the Benz and the Pontiac. It was made as an residual outcome of Henry Ford and his team, but got into a dispute with the auto company and left. Ford and ’em then went onto create Ford Company and the Model T car which was affordable to all due to production (the things you learn when you’re a communications major!). The Pontiac is the U.S. Polo Association of the Cadillac, but nevertheless cars are important as status pieces in the Black community.

“…in his 1963 autobiography, for example, Malcolm X frequently notes the iconographic status of the Cadillac in the Black community, and the importance of cars generally is readily observable in Black music and popular culture throughout the decades leading up to hip hop.” Erik Nielson

I don’t like the ending at all, but I’m not mad at the very end because Goldmouth has internalized the American ideology of individualism—everyone for themselves in their pursuit of justice, liberty and happiness. I get it. It’s what rappers have been warning us about for years. It’s also what Queen foreshadowed the first time they ran out of gas. As mentioned earlier, money and violence are staples that keep this country functioning the way it does and Goldmouth definitely subscribes to that notion. He saw an opportunity to get paid and took it. The American state knows this: Everyone has a price (S/O to CJ and Martense). Someone wanted and will try to get that $500,000 if the opportunity presented itself. Why not Goldmouth? Cause he Black? Nah fam, he’s American before he’s Black. In the words of Casanova, “I hope that didn’t go over your heads.”

The Hearse The final ride is in Black hearse. On the way to the funeral home they are met with signs and sadness. (This, however, is disrupted by Uncle Earl in a fly ass black fur over a Sean John sweat suit that luxuriously sways as he adjusts it. For a fraction of a second, you forget about Q&S.) The community comes out to say their farewell to the couple who for even a moment gave them hope and are immortalized as the couple who took their destiny in their hands. I hate the romanticizing of it, but that’s what it was.

And f–k the world cause I’m cursed, I’m havin visions of leavin here in a hearse, God can you feel me? Take me away from all the pressure, and all the pain “Shed So Many Tears,” 2Pac

Catalina, Life after Death

In the wake of their death, a huge mural of the picture that Q&S took in the mechanic shop is being plastered on the side of a church. They are on t-shirts of little boys with hoop dreams. This is the legacy of Queen, Slim and Uncle Earl’s Catalina. Their immortality.

Well, thanks for riding with me, I appreciate you. This could have been longer, but I have things to do to make sure that the future Queens & Slims grow old and are still immortalized. Peace and love.

Queen & Slim: The Rides I saw Queen & Slim (Q&S) and liked it but had some major issues with it. However what intrigued me the most about the movie wasn’t their ride to freedom, but the rides, themselves.

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Protect & Keep, Pt. 1: A Letter to Kha Dear Khaseen, On Monday, September 16th, I sent a check-in text to my goddaughter because the school year had started and I didn’t hear from her.

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My Therapy Sessions with "Perfect 10"

My Therapy Sessions with “Perfect 10”

I was reluctant to listen to “Perfect 10” on DJ Mustard’s Perfect 10 because “Higher” featuring John Legend on DJ Khaled’s Father of Asahd pulls at the heart strings like the moon on the tides. Until recently, I decided to press play…then left it on repeat…It reminds me of the therapy sessions with my real ones while sitting on a couch, at a kitchen table, or in a parked car with the music…

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notes in the margin: "no."

notes in the margin: “no.”

  No. Nah. Negative. I will let you know. Let me think about it. Not a good fit. I got you… Silence.

So what is the root of the fruits that I bear?

Rejection, a loss (an “L”), or said another way, “No.” Everyone faces rejection, but when it comes to my hustle and my passion, it has definitely made me more resilient and creative. My rejections have shaped my hustle and my work ethics, which have…

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notes in the margins: roots and fruits

notes in the margins: roots and fruits

What kind of fruit are you bearing?

A number of people have called me a perfectionist. I’m not a fan of the term because I don’t see myself as one. At all. I am particular and sometimes stubborn, but that’s not a perfectionist. However, there are few things that I have accept and appreciate with their flaws and all. Most people don’t see the flaws, but I know it’s there and let it be.…

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Spark the Brain

Dear Reader: This was originally slated as a tribute on Tupac’s birthday (June 16th), but since the assassination of Nipsey Hussle, I decided to publish it now. But before you start reading please watch this video:

Tupac’s foreshadowing was short-sighted.

I don’t think when the rapper said that he would “spark the brain that would…

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Theory II: The Face of A Queen

Theory II: The Face of A Queen

In Theory II, I propose what the “Queen” could look like if her face was not destroyed. I give her not only a face, but a voice as well drawing inspiration from the Black Girls Rock. To do so, I invoke  Black women throughout history and their words that continue to navigate between various places and spaces including, but not limited to slavery, the legal system, education, politics, and the…

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    Overview This project was inspired by and drew from Alexander Weheliye’s Habeas Viscus, Hortense J. Spillers “Mama’s Baby, Papa’s Maybe: An American Grammar Book” (1987) and Sylvia Wynter’s “‘No Humans Involved’: An Open Letter to My Colleagues” (1994) in connection to the Black woman’s body through time and space in conjunction with “Fragment of a Queen’s Face,” a figure in the Metropolitan Museum of Art (The Met) in New York.

Theory I: Flesh and Fragment Theory I is an epistolary to “The Fragment of a Queen’s Face.” The figure was made from yellow jasper during the Amarna Period (ca.1353-1336) during the reign of Pharaoh Akhenaten in the late 18th Dynasty. The most significant feature of the figure is that more half of the head is missing and only the lips are visible. In the letter, I use personal history and connect various works that articulate historical and sociopolitical views of the Black female body.

The Visits describes my first visit and subsequent returns to the “Queen’s Face” and my affinity to the figure. Decoding the Hieroglyphics features theoretical groundings of how the “Queen” came to be. #SayHerName challenges the silence about the violence experienced by Black women throughout history. The Killmonger in Me discusses the role Black women in science and cultural institutions. The Riddle connects the past to the present. P.S. The Ties that Bond makes universal connections.

The Visits

I first met you when I was 16. As an US History assignment, I had to visit cultural institutions and landmarks around New York City including The Met. When we got there, my home girl and I headed towards the Ancient Egyptian section. I was in awe of all the artifacts. Out of them all, I was most intrigued by your warm and welcoming polished yellow jasper. I was looking at half of you, yet you still seemed complete. I had never seen anything like you. Your label read, “Fragment of a Queen’s Face.” Who were you and why do you look foreign yet familiar? We circled the museum and bounced, but since then I have always returned to see you. When I was bored, when I broke up with him, when I started college, when I wanted to escape New York without leaving the city—it was a no-brainer, all I needed was a MetroCard and time.

I have since wondered about how you were damaged: who damaged you? Why do I feel such an affinity with you? The damage done aligns with the history of removing noses is hardly a coincidence. The fracture right above your cupid’s bow looks like whoever struck you was trying to destroy your nose and ended up taking off most of your head. However, I see the attention to detail that went into creating you. Your smile line, the creases in your neck…You were loved. Your plaque reads: She cannot be securely identified with certainty.

The Met speculates that you are either Queen Nefertari or Kiya. The museum also gives possible reasons for what happened to you, among them a territorial conquest, but after looking up other the images and figures of Nefertari and Kiya—some of their noses are missing as well. Apparently, when the artists created their works with wide noses, they were likely to be destroyed.

In November of 2017, I needed to escape and decided to pay you a visit, but this time was different. My knowledge of the Black experience had grown exponentially, now you weren’t just a face of curiosity. In my naiveté, I was a bit voyeuristic; now I looked and thought of you critically. Without words and sealed lips, you began to tell a story. I listened with my eyes.

She cannot be securely identified with certainty.

Decoding the Hieroglyphics

hieroglyph, n. 1. a. A hieroglyphic character; a figure of some object, as a tree, animal, etc., standing for a word (or, afterwards, in some cases, a syllable or sound), and forming an element of a species of writing found on ancient Egyptian monuments and records; thence extended to such figures similarly used in the writing of other races. Also, a writing consisting of characters of this kind. 2. a. transf. and fig. A figure, device, or sign having some hidden meaning; a secret or enigmatical symbol; an emblem. b. humorously. A piece of writing difficult to decipher. 3. One who makes hieroglyphic inscriptions. Rare.

A few ways that we identify people is by how they look (from their physical appearance to their fashion statements), the way they speak (soda vs. pop) and their name (Hayashi vs. Hernandez). This is not perfect because it is always an incomplete picture. I state this because somewhere along my life journey, I learned how looters and destroyers—who called themselves archaeologists, soldiers, historians, geographers, and the likes—visited Egypt and did as they pleased. Their colonial practices  excavated and disrupted histories and legacies in the name of research, imperialism and culture. Despite the great cultural history here, ankhs as a symbol of religion and wide noses, signifying Blackness, were damaged and destroyed.

“I would make a distinction in this case between ‘body’ and ‘flesh’ and impose that distinction as the central one between captive and liberated subject-positions. In that sense, before the ‘body’ there is the ‘flesh,’ that zero degree of social conceptualization that does not escape concealment under the brush of discourse, or the reflexes of iconography.” (Spillers, 1987: p.67)

By highlighting the works of Hortense Spillers and Sylvia Wynter, Alexander Weheliye (2014) argue that racial assemblages—humans, not-quite humans and non-humans—determine differentiation and hierarchy of races through sociopolitical processes. Using the term habeas viscus (you shall have the flesh), Weheliye relies on Spillers’ distinction between the flesh and the body along with the writ habeas corpus (you shall have the body) to examine the “breaks, crevices, movements, languages and such zones between the flesh and the law” (p. 11).

I decided to look at Spillers’ (1987) and Wynter’s (1994) work and how they examine language in relationship to the violence against Black bodies. In reference to the violence committed against Black bodies during slavery, Spillers (1987) argues that flesh tells the narrative of the body and when it came to physical trauma—breaks, fractures, brandings, punctures, missing parts, etc.—the body kept score. This is what Spillers called the hieroglyphics of the flesh.

         According to Spillers, the hieroglyphics of the flesh is not just the violence committed against the Black body, like the “chokecherry tree” on Sethe’s back in Toni Morrison’s Beloved, but the flesh itself as a marker for racial violence no matter the institution whether scientific, social, political, educational or economic, it is the color of the flesh, which determines if and what kind of violence is inflicted on someone (Spillers, 1987). For example, the impact of mass incarceration on the Black and Latino communities versus white communities. Blacks and Latinos get harsher sentences than their white counterparts simply because they are not white.

Wynter’s and Spillers’ work overlaps when they discuss “captivity.” Spillers writes about the “captive body” while Wynter references James Baldwin’s term “captive population” which describes how Black lives are viewed and how we are a nation within a nation (Baldwin, 1968/2017). From these captivities emerge questions surrounding the value of captive lives and how they communicate our truths and what happens when we refuse the hegemonic “truth.”

“A riot is the language of the unheard.” Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

When discussing the rhetoric of the hegemonic “truth,” Wynter (1994) calls out grammarians, the scholars (gatekeepers) who over centuries have perpetually reproduced gender and racial inequities through their literature. Wynter argued that rhetoric in the Humanities and the Social Sciences creates and maintains a caste system of racial hierarchy where whites are on top (dominant) and Blacks on the bottom (inferior). However,  grammarians, who can identify as any gender or race, erase race and codify racialized language using economic and geographical terms such as “middle class suburbia” to mean white and “inner city poor and jobless” to equal young Black males (Wynter, 1994). Of course, there are exceptions to who is being identified and discussed within these categories, as previously mentioned, but for the most part, this framing of language conceals the racial oppression and the “hidden cost” of “subjective understanding” (pg. 60).

I wanted to argue about “today’s world,” but truthfully the hidden cost has always been a thing post-1492. In Spillers’ analysis about the “truth” value of the words that represent race, she wrote “We might concede, at the very least, that sticks and bricks might break our bones, but words will most certainly kill us (p. 68).”

You not only have markings, but part of you is missing. Was someone clumsy or was it a violent sociopolitical process used to maintain hierarchy? If those who committed this act against you were rivals during ancient times, why didn’t they just break you down to rubble? What purpose does keeping half of a face serve? We know the natives used to go in and steal gold and things that bling bling. You’re not that. Or maybe your lips weren’t destroyed because they thought no one would listen to what you had to say? I study your fractures again, especially the groove above your cupid’s bow…

The Met can keep their postulations. I’m wiser now.

She cannot be securely identified with certainty.

#SayHerName

While looking at you, Sarah Baartman (1789-1815) came to mind. Of course there is a huge difference between the exploited life of a Black woman and the exploited life of statue of a Black woman, but parallels are present. Born approximately 4,000 miles south from where you were on the same continent, Sarah Baartman was called a “freak” and was used for “science and spectacle” because of her large buttocks (McKittrick, 2010 p. 117). Enslaved people were commonly being used for medical research without any ethical consideration (Spillers, 1987). Sarah Baartman was no different because her body was used to explain inherent Black inferiority. As McKittrick (2010) argued:

“…across time and space, and sometimes across race, Baartman is the analytical template through which racist pornography, the grotesque, and the lewd seduction of black female popular-culture figures can be understood in relation to a history of racial imprisonment, bodily dismemberment, sexism, and white supremacy.” (p. 118)

I sat with that. In between those lines is a patriarchal component that we, as Black women, sometimes unconsciously privilege before our own lives: the lives of our brothers. Sometimes we don’t think or know how to articulate the violence inflicted on us (Love, 2017). I think of my brothers safety in this world knowing that I am just as vulnerable. Not until the last two years, did I center the violence inflicted on me because that is the way the world turns and I have things to get done….until one day it caught up to me. I began to do a survey of my spirit injuries—more than I thought—and some were unrecognizable, a hieroglyph. I guess I should consider myself lucky because I know what needs healing while many others don’t and/or can’t. Adrien Katherine Wing argues that if there are many injuries it results into a what Williams calls a “spirits murder” (1990).

Then there is the actual murdering of Black (trans)women and the lack of recognition when she has taken her last breath at the hands of the state. Things are starting to change with social media platforms like Twitter, to share our sisters’ stories. Think tanks such as African American Policy Forum (Crenshaw, Ritchie, Anspach, Gilmer, Harris, 2015) and sites like Black Perspective that make sure these women are not erased. The margins in which these stories reside are now disrupting the mainstream. We are learning their stories, honoring their lives, finally having these conversations and saying their names…

#ShantelDavis #MyaHall #KendraJames #LaTanyaHaggerty #FrankiePerkins #KathrynJohnson #DanetteDaniels #AlbertaSpruill #EleanorBumpurs #MargaretMitchell #ShellyFrey #YuvetteHenderson #KaylaMoore #TanishaAnderson #ShereeseFrancis #MichelleCusseaux #KyamLivingson #ShenequeProctor  #RekiaBoyd #AiyannaJones #TarikaWilson #AuraRosser #JanishaFonville #NewJersey4 #YvetteSmith #FrankiePerkins #KathrynJohnson #DanetteDaniels #AlbertaSpruill #DuannaJohnson #NizahMorris #IslanNettles #RosannMiller #SonjiTaylor #MalaikaBrooks #DeniseStewart #ConstanceGraham #PatriciaHartley #KorrynGaines #AlteriaWoods #CharleenaLyles #MorganRankins #CariannHithon

The Killmonger in Me

After Baartman’s death in 1815, her body was dismembered and placed in the Museum of Natural History in Paris until 2002. You, Queen, were “gifted” to the Met in 1926…The year my favorite girl was born…In Black Panther, when Killmonger stared at the mask with intrigue and Ulysses Klause asked if it was from Wakanda, Killmonger replied, “Nah. I’m just feeling it.” Killmonger wasn’t just “feeling it.” The connection is  much deeper than that. N’Jadaka (Killmonger) saw something in that Igbo mask. There was an affinity; a connection. I thought of our relationship, me and your fragmented face. I am not a psychoanalyst, but I know a lil’ sumthin’ sumthin’. For me, we are both fragments of a disjointed story. Our story.

Killmonger effortlessly challenges the history of artifacts placed in the museum. “How do you think your ancestors got these? Do you think they paid a fair price? Or did they take it…like they took everything else?” Art reflecting life.

Killmonger later states, “You got all this security in here watching me since I walked in…” He is addressing the surveillance of the Black body which determines the imprisonment, dismemberment and sexist cataloguing the body is to undergo (McKittrick, 2010; Spillers, 1987). As I write this there has been a surge of videos in where white people are calling the police because of the mere presence of Black people, which demonstrates the criminalization that follows the Black body in different spaces Anderson (2004) and the non-police surveillance of Black bodies (Dancy, Edwards and Davis, 2018).

Your life in a glass case is for the white gaze. You weren’t initially placed there for me to learn about my history. Of course, some could argue that if you weren’t brought to the museum, how would I get to see you. To that I say, if my ancestors and their artifacts weren’t brought over here, there wouldn’t be anything to debate. Therefore, I will need the colonizer and their pigmented minions to stay silent on the matter.

Speaking of pigmented minions, on May 25, 2018 at approximately 3:30pm, Mike and I went to the Met and I was showing him another sculpture with a missing nose and as I was raising my hand to its’ face, a security guard standing by the partition of your gallery and Gallery 119 yells at me, “Don’t touch!” My back was turned so I don’t know how long she was watching me, but clearly she had her eyes on me. I finessed a clapback that let her know I’m not the one without getting kicked out. She tried it.

Anyways, you’re made of jasper, a semi-precious stone which is a six and half to a seven on the Mohs scale of mineral hardness. Jasper can be harder than steel depending on the composition and when broken has a conchoidal fracture. Your impeccable smoothness and detail may have confused a perpetrator into thinking that you were actually weaker than you looked. Perhaps thinking you were going to break like granite, which was used for many of the figures. I think of all the Black women who have endured so much, but you wouldn’t know by looking at them. Even if you can see it, they are still standing despite the violence committed against them.

She cannot be securely identified with certainty.

The Riddle

Another movie filmed in a museum came to mind…when I was a little girl, I used to watch Don’t Eat the Pictures: Sesame Street at the Metropolitan Museum of Art all the time. Long story short, in the movie, a young Ancient Egyptian prince, Sahu or the “hidden one”, was trapped in the Met until he met two criteria: to answer the riddle, “Where does today meet yesterday?,” and his heart had to be lighter than a feather. If he fulfilled the requirements, he would reunite with his family as a star in the sky. The Sesame Street gang was also locked in and tried to help Sahu.

As the night went on, Big Bird and Snuffleupagus kept thinking of the answer. Finally, Big Bird figured out the answer: a museum. He also negotiated the weight of Sahu heart that was heavier than a feather because he missed his family. In the end, Sahu was able to reconnect with his family. That was real cut and dry, but my point is, like the riddle, you are part of my history and I am part of your future and we met at a museum; where today meets yesterday.

She cannot be securely identified with certainty.

P.S…The ties that Bond

“Words are a pretext. It is the inner bond that draws one person to another, not words.”  Rumi

I started to grow impatient with this project because I started it in the fall of 2018; the seasons changed, life and death happened. Black Panther and Everything is Love were released. I continued to learn about Black women, #Blackgirlmagic, Black Feminist Theory, Black Girls Rock!, Professional Black Girls, the ways in which Black women heal, the ways in which we love, and most importantly, our different survival mechanisms. We have survived a lot (shout out to Lorde and Gumbs).

I also realized that the universe is in concert, seeing N’Jadaka (Killmonger) in the museum scene staring at that Igbo mask gave me goosebumps. When I saw Beyonce at Coachella donned in Ancient Egyptian garb, it motivated me to step up and complete this project despite my demanding priorities and Murphy’s Law. Beverly Bond’s book, Black Girls Rock!, is filled with the narratives of Black women, young and old for us to embrace each other and to tell our stories. Then the Carters dropped Everything Is Love and their visual for “Apeshit” in the Louvre (the Met of Paris); lyrical references “I will never let you shoot the nose off my Pharaoh” and a nod to Prince’s Purple Rain (a project I completed, but not ready to share with the world) in “Black Effect”; “Black queen, you rescued us, you rescued us, rescued us” on “713” and; how can I forget the mature Jamaican woman explaining love and laughing. I realized we are all telling stories of Black women, Black experience. No matter where you get the message from the story will be told through the screen, audio and text whether in print or digital format. Kruger, Bond, The Carters…and people like me. We were all telling these stories in our own way. (Shout out to the homies, Kia Perry and EbonyJanice!)

Of all the bonds connected to this work, this is in honor of my grandmother, aka My Favorite Girl and my shweeheart. The woman who only had a third grade education, but a Ph.D. in Life from the School of Hard Knocks. The woman whose heart was bigger than her body and had a warrior spirit. In honor of her strength, her courage, her sense of humor (because sometimes you can’t do anything, but laugh) and her undying love. Although she is no longer here physically, her prayers, love and lessons still with me. Every once in awhile a lesson whispers in my ear. As I was making final edits, I heard: Nothing is due before its’ time. I miss you and thank you. 

Sources

Anderson, E. (2004). The Cosmopolitan Canopy. The Annals of the American Academy of Political and Social Science, 595, 14-31.

Baldwin J. (1968/2017) “Captive population.”  Esquire.

Crenshaw, K. Ritchie, A., Anspach, R., Gilmer, R., Harris. L., (2015). “Say her name: Resisting police brutality against Black women,” African American Policy Forum, Center for Intersectionality and Social Policy Studies, Columbia Law School

Dancy, T. E., Edwards, K. T., & Earl Davis, J. (2018). Historically white universities and plantation politics: Anti-blackness and higher education in the black lives matter era. Urban Education, 53(2), 176-195.

Love, B. L. (2017). Difficult knowledge: When a Black feminist educator was too afraid to #SayHerName. English Education, 49(2), 197–208.

McKittrick, K. (2010). Science quarrels sculpture: The politics of reading Sarah Baartman. Mosaic: An Interdisciplinary Critical Journal, 43(2), 113-130. Retrieved from http://www.jstor.org/stable/44030627

Spillers, H. J. (1987). Mama’s baby, papa’s maybe: An American grammar book. African American Literary Theory, 257-279.

Weheliye, A. G. (2014). Habeas viscus: Racializing assemblages, biopolitics, and black feminist theories of the human.

Williams, P. (1997). Spirit‐murdering the messenger: the discourse of fingerprinting as the law’s response to racism in: A. Wing (Ed.) Critical race feminism: a reader New York New York University Press 229-236

Wing, A.K. (1990). ‘Brief reflections toward a multiplicative theory and praxis of being’ Berkeley Women’s Law Journal, Vol. 6: 181–201.

Wynter, S. (1994). “‘No Humans Involved’: An Open Letter to My Colleagues.” Forum N.H.I.: Knowledge for the 21st Century, in N.H./. Forum: Knowledge for the 21st Century’s inaugural issue “Knowledge on Trial.” 1, no. 1 : 42-73.

  Theory I: Flesh and Fragment Overview This project was inspired by and drew from Alexander Weheliye’s Habeas Viscus, Hortense J. Spillers “Mama’s Baby, Papa’s Maybe: An American Grammar Book” (1987) and Sylvia Wynter’s "'No Humans Involved': An Open Letter to My Colleagues" (1994) in connection to the Black woman's body through time and space in conjunction with “Fragment of a Queen’s Face,” a figure in the Metropolitan Museum of Art (The Met) in New York.

[liberalsarecool]

Tormenting children is the design, not the flaw. Secretary Nielson will go down in history as true evil. She was warned of the risks to children and sadistically kept the same plan.

[liberalsarecool]

Republicans are blaming the 7 year old.

[oatmylkmachiato]

This is literally the most heart warming story I have read on Twitter so far. I think this is exactly what friends should do, and I feel everyone deserves people like this.