Jeremy, James, and Richard stood at the track watching The Stig drink motor oil.
“He’s really just… guzzling it down,” Richard scrunched his face and looked on at the sight before him, “isn’t he?”
James blinked and cocked his head to the side.
“He’s never done this before, now has he?” Jeremy asked, his arms folded across his chest.
“I.. I don’t,” James stammered, “I can’t say that he has.”
“Do you think this suggests…” Richard started, “that maybe he is actually part car?”
Jeremy looked down at him, “What? Hammond, how could he be part car? Did his mum bang the gear lever and-“
“Just a moment,” James interrupted, “let’s sit on this a moment.” He put a finger to his chin, “Now, we do know that he can talk to cars-“
Jeremy cut in, “Talk to cars? James, what? First of all, he doesn’t speak,”
“Well, hold on, neither do cars,” Richard began, “perhaps they’re communication is unspoken, you know… telepathy.”
“No, Hammond. Cars don’t speak because they are cars. They aren’t alive, neither is The Stig.”
“You know, he can hear you.” James muttered.
“I think we proved that The Stig is- ..or was alive when we killed him…”
“What, Hammond?” Jeremy cried, “We don’t know that he isn’t alive!”
They bickered on and on the way that they do until music in the approaching background caught their attention. Bass hit, and they turned around, the gates to the track opening and a red Audi hatchback pulled through. The music distinguishable now, Jeremy put his hands together and turned to face the camera.
“Now that the Top Gear Girl has finally arrived, perhaps we can begin.”
James and Richard had stepped away from Jeremy, who was talking to the camera and moved to where the Audi had parked.
“You know,” Richard began, coming up the door and placing his hand up onto the roof, “you were supposed to be here at eleven.” He said to the woman inside, who was slipping something into her backpack.
She dropped the bag back onto the passenger side floorboard and turned, looking up at him, “I overslept.” She said.
Richard stepped back as she got out, closing the door for her, “You overslept?” He sounded astonished, “It’s two-thirty in the afternoon!”
“Is it?” She asked with faux surprise as she walked away, James and Richard on either side of her, “Now, what are we doing today?”
She didn’t wait for their answer and stepped up next to Jeremy, a million dollar smile on her face and suddenly, as always, all eyes – the camera as well, were on her.
turnnoffyourmind
tangentwithtanner
areudirty
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