[mywingman]

Welcome to my Hollywood courtyard apartment. Come for the glamour, stay for the OnlyFans shoot. (Leave before the emotional damage starts.) #euphoria #ruebennett #existential #sydneysweeney #art #mywingman

[mywingman]

 Hard to have fun in this over-organized society. I need a calendar invite before I fully collapse. #party #knicks #existential #undergroundcomix #art #mywingman

[mywingman]

Hey, nice chain wallet. Are we friends now or how does this work? #friendship #dearestfriend #fashion #summerlook #beenreal #staysafe #stayyou #chances #opportunities #facts #vibes #rememberwhen #youmad #repost #regram #walletchain #chainwallet #bikerchain #existential #undergroundcomix #art #mywingman

[mywingman]

I feel a nightlife phase is something I should've done in college. See also: getting an MBA. #nightlife #MBA #knicks #art #mywingman 5/11/26

[mywingman]

I’m getting a stress rash from the guilt of having this drink with you. My body is keeping score. #metgala #knicks #existential #undergroundcomix #mywingman 5/5/26

[mywingman]

 It’s a little late for sarcasm. I’m exhausted, and so are you. #jackass #whcd #ballroom #knicks #existential #undergroundcomix #art #mywingman

4/27/26

[mywingman]

There was always that one kid in school who laughed at their own jokes. Hi. #420 #coachella #comedy #upinsmoke #marijuana #blunt #existential #undergroundcomix #art #mywingman4/20/26

[mywingman]

I took molly at a rave, thinking I’d find some deep connection. Turns out, I just needed deodorant. #euphoria #coachella #raves #existential #undergroundcomix #art #mywingman 4/13/26

[mywingman]

Well now wait just a minute…I’m just realizing I’m my girl’s first baddie. I need to be gentle. #baddie #existential #undergroundcomix #art #mywingman

[mywingman]

(Get a load of this guy drinking tequila like a sorority girl at Señor Frogs-half dancing, half crying and fully committed.) #springbreak #twerking#existential #undergroundcomix #art #mywingman 3/30/26

[mywingman]

I used to be a half-naked, twerking spring breaker. Then I became a local news story. It’s called character building.#springbreak #twerking#existential #undergroundcomix #art #mywingman 3/23/26

[mywingman]

Better a has-been than a never-was—but where does that leave us? #oscars #sinners #seanpenn #leo #michaelbjordan #existential #undergroundcomix #art #mywingman 3/16/26

[mywingman]

There aren’t enough vomit emojis on my phone to express how much I dislike your father’s thirst trap photo. #daylightsavings #vomitemojis #thirsttrap #existential #undergroundcomix #art #mywingman 3/9/26

[mywingman]

I mansplained mansplaining to my new girlfriend. (She dumped me mid-sentence.) #mansplain #existential #undergroundcomix #art #mywingman 3/3/26

[mywingman]

I’m here to announce that I’m moving to the beach. Sadly, this town just can’t compete with my thirst for chill vibes… #winterblues #summermemories #snow #existential #undergroundcomix #art #mywingman 2/23/26

[mywingman]

I’m not the most confident person in the world, but I do look good in a mustache and blue jeans. #denim #styleicon#moustache #presidentsday #undergroundcomix #art #mywingman 2/16/26

[mywingman]

 I’d love to join you for salsa lessons, but I’m currently navigating some brand-new, extremely unsexy physical limitations. #valentines #valentinesday #badbunny #reggaeton #salsa #puertorico #superbowl #samdarnold #existential #undergroundcomix #art #mywingman 2/9/26