n0_al @n0-al-3n8y - Tumblr Blog

society is weirdly obsessed with schizophrenia. our diagnosis is in everyone's mouth, yet we are invisible and have no voice.

#mental illness #schizophrenia #actually schizophrenic #psychosis #schizo spectrum

cw weight, hospital vent

aaaand another day they forget to give me lunch then they get upset that I lose weight and threaten me to get me a feeding tube (srry idk the words in English)

borderlinesadgirl

I'm fucking useless

n0-al-3n8y

#same

tw sui mention

aaaaand back to strict suicidal watch. can't do anything without someone watching me. great.

[i want to have never existed ]

my only wish

(my only little companion at the hospital)

n0-al-3n8y

neurologist appointment tomorrow

idk why im going there is no treatment for my illnesses or they don't work

shitposting continues

n0-al-3n8y

it was horrible i just want the suffering to end and they expect me to live like this. the chronic pains/illnesses are unbearable. let me die already. I hate doctors. they just add to my medical ptsd that's all they do.

I had to be on suicidal watch last night because of this shit, even with all the benzos im on. probably will be the same tonight.

sinfulconfessions

The idea if suicide is the only thing that brings me comfort

n0-al-3n8y

only thing that calms me down

#tw sui ideation

the urge to go back to one of your abuser when your life is in shambles

#trauma survivor #cptsd #trauma #mental illness #schizophrenia #actually schizophrenic #actually mentally ill #chronic pain #chronic illness #chronically ill #emotional abuse #self destruction #self h@rm

tw sui ideation

being hospitalized since more than 2 months with a medical ptsd is messing with my brain so much idk what's up but it's really bad. everything is worse and they don't really know what to do. it's hell. I just want to have never existed. suicidal ideations are so strong. idk how to cope.