pooems

by nabsfads beloved

[nabsfads]

idk i jst wanted to share my poems/writings/songs somewhere.

the first few ones were written in like 2020? and theyre super cringe. but i also wanted to post them to show my progress so far. i'll probably date them too so its easier to track.

edit : im not gonna date them. have fun guessing.

[nabsfads]

Ive spent so many months telling myself

Im not the problem you picked

Cause you have your hands full with limits

But you find the loophole and do it anyway

Ive wasted all my thoughts, piecing what you left

What were the meanings you picked

Cause i think im in over my head with intent

But you proved it right my way today

If i stay here im hiding from something way more

I leave for the waves that bring me closer to shore

I know you mustve known how our damn rapport

Must've rubbed me wrong

[nabsfads]

Cold mornings, i cant feel you near,

choke up, youve made it crystal clear,

where you are right now

My fingers search you over me,

your debts, torn cheques, apologies

I feel it fresh right now

I dont even wanna talk, but come back

i swear we can make it work,

retract, shoes off, put your bags down please

And you're back again, one foot on the bed and we're taking off

Mile high, I'll serve you whatever you want

We're really hot again, i dont think of the end, so we can do it again

But i know you miss her when this shit ends

[nabsfads]

What was it for? Dont get it.

Not letting me go, now you're running

Knocking on my window when im sleeping, asking, talking, laughing, rip open, consoling

How, so easily?

[nabsfads]

All the years ive spent crying away

Picking out what to lose, what to change

Love is not something you earn, but i can see

Currencies, they gain, they bend, they mend,

Body, face, hair, silence, fragrant air

Love is something i can give, but none will take

[nabsfads]

I breathe, i breathe, i breathe, i breathe

Exhaling all my thoughts

3 things i hear, 5 things i see

But they all lead back to me

I know, i know, repeat, repeat

Their words repeatedly

My worth is not tied to these things

But it don't make sense to me

[nabsfads]

You come by next to never,

I will dye the moon a shade of blue

It lights your way into my room

You think i shatter easy

I collect your cullets, melt and fuse

My heart's only made up of you

Oh, the circles go into the square

Pieces missing, wear and tear

Jigsaw puzzles, sand the tabs down too

I solved it, i miss you

Blocks and cardboards by your bed

They wait a few years, dust in regret

You'll sell the memories for a few laughs

I bought it, i miss you

I lost it, i miss you

I caught it, i miss you

Im dying, i miss you

[nabsfads]

Holding on delays progression

Wishing only gets you hurt

Take the hint you need then leave it

Living in your ignorance will only make it worse

Let infection run its course

Through your veins and through your bones

Take the pills at stipulated

Timings of the day before breathing feels like a curse

[nabsfads]

cz bitch you make me so sick and if you ever read this, because you probably do, then i hope you decide to go fuck yourself

[nabsfads]

Love has a weight limit

A size limit

Decibel meters

And so I fail

And so you look at me funny

When I crave it on lonesome nights

For you only see what I must shed

But not what I can provide

[nabsfads]

I closed your chapter, you're as good as dead

All the words i kept hidden are filling my head

You were too scared to say, i was too scared to read

So im gluing the pages, never to be seen

Stay up at night, like a fucking nocturnal

Writing my tears, every chuckle and sniffle

I used to leave a crack open at my door

But i locked it shut and i dont see your face anymore (maybe thats a lie)

Anymore (but i wont give up trying)

[nabsfads]

There are paths youve never seen, taken by me

A million times, a billion seas,

Id wait at the end to find a note in a bottle

the only bottles get broken on me

On the back of my hand, scribbled meters and miles

Though ive spent my whole life reading into my palm lines

Gold mines, hidden and i wanna give up

Dropping my stone axe, and i feel a cut

[nabsfads]

You heard the rain come to take away the drought but i was frying fish i found gasping on the ground

Not much left in all the seas i swim in,

soapy finger in a pepper filled bowl

I heard a man cry for everything he's lost but it was taken from him by a man and not from God

Not much left to settle 'fore he gets freed

Child-proof plastic knob-cover mechanics

What system? What system? Next to recover!

What person? What people? Pain to discover!

I reel my hook, i see the blood you tried to wash off of your fingers, greasy fish

[nabsfads]

You're so convinced of the worst, the bad, that when things go good, you start going mad

Grazing the left wall until it's the end, depends

If you choose to give it a minute or chuck it away, to an unmanned state

You could believe in the ending where we all get out safe

[nabsfads]

Theres gotta be a science as to why you come back into my life

only when im finished crying over you

Its trippy, its tiring, the gun's jammed, youre firing at me (why?)

You tell me that im pretty, that im fine, ask where lifes gone from my eyes

I unravel just to watch you step aside

The chasing, the aching, i miss you, a hopeless belief (why?)

Oh come back inside

I'll wipe my tears dry

Leave me wide-eyed

Straight shot to the sky

[nabsfads]

I am left with the truth that everything picked up can be thrown away

[nabsfads]

Once i move on, i'll leave you behind for good

Take the path you wanna leave before you take the path you should