holy fuck playing undertale is like. playing a regular game but on crack. like the game is on crack. i’m just constantly in awe of everything and eagerly awaiting what comes next. oh my god. it’s the most entertaining thing i’ve played in years
as usual, there's the time-lapse and some rambling below the cut:
drawing time: 7h
canvas stats:
song reference for the time-lapse:
i really wanted to find a frank ocean song for hunter, and i think seigfried is closely related to how i see him?
in germanic/norse mythology there's a hero named siegfried (sigurd in swedish) who bathed in dragon's blood which rendered his skin invulnerable, except for a single spot between his shoulder blades where a falling linden leaf landed. that hidden weakness becomes the point through which he can eventually be killed
in frank ocean’s seigfried he presents himself as someone who may appear untouchable from the outside, while still carrying a concealed vulnerability. the song is about alienation, queer identity/his bisexuality, masculinity, and the pressure to conform. frank considers the socially approved future, a house, a swimming pool, a family, while recognising that choosing it could mean living inside an idea created by other people rather than a life that feels like his own
hunter likely has friends, status, and an established place in bandi as the pastor’s son, but none of those things give him real belonging. that life only has room for the version of hunter that he performs. anything outside that role has to remain hidden, like siegfried’s single vulnerable spot
the repeated admission in the song that he's not brave feels significant. hunter is physically reckless and violent, but recklessness is not the same thing as bravery. he can fight, provoke/bully people, smoke, and yet he cannot openly confront what he wants
seigfried contains the possibility of recognising that the prescribed life is not truly yours and walking away from it. hunter never reaches that recognition in a way that frees him. he senses that the role he has been given is unbearable, but instead of escaping it, he turns the conflict inward. his shame becomes aggression, self-destruction, and punishment
the song shares some lines with elliott smith’s a fond farewell (i added the lyrics to both songs below). the friend in that song can be interpreted as not as a literal person, but as smith’s addicted self, or even the drugs themselves. the title suggests tenderness as well as finality. he's not condemning his former self; he is saying goodbye to a version of himself that once served a purpose, even if it was slowly killing him
a fond farewell contains the desire to separate the self from the destruction: this is happening to me, but this is not all that i am. hunter never reaches that distinction. he does not manage to say goodbye to the version of himself built from shame and punishment because he has never been shown that version is worthy of love
i’m not sure hunter ever fully understood that the entity was an entity. he dies still trapped inside the belief that his shame, violence, desire, and self-destruction are simply what he is. but a lot of people do not manage to pull themselves out of destructive patterns, addiction, or family situations/relationships even when they understand what is happening. and doing so without any support is harder still
these are the lyrics for seigfreid and a fond farewell:
oh my god your brain.. genuinely wow. ugh this is so beautiful.. hunter my boy :(
also, i think adding the snake ring was a cool touch, since hunter died before most of ryan’s and naim’s relationship played out, and hunter probably (?) never saw naim with the ring
aw! thank you so so so much <33 :*
i did some digging and they spoke about when the ring switched hands in this tiktok:
i also think there might be some symbolism in the fact that, at the time hunter died, the ring still hadn’t switched hands?
i’m also not completely sure i would describe the dynamic as a true love triangle. for ryan, i think naim and hunter represent two sides of himself. hunter is tied to the repression, violence, shame, and the version of masculinity ryan has learned to perform. naim, meanwhile, represents the possibility of tenderness, even though ryan is scared/unsure of what that would mean
so the ring changing hands could symbolise a shift in what desire itself means to ryan. while it remains on the original hand, he is still trapped in the dynamic hunter embodied: desire converted into aggression because neither of them had the language or safety to recognise it as anything else. when it switches, it becomes associated with ryan beginning to reach for intimacy/daring to be vulnerable
maybe that is why calling it a love triangle feels slightly wrong to me? hunter is not simply another romantic option competing with naim. he is almost a mirror of the person ryan might remain if he never learns to separate his desire from punishment
okay anyway no this definitely makes sense! the ring switching hands after the hospital also works with the bus scene being the first time ryan gets to have an uninterrupted honest moment of intimacy and closeness with naim, right? before that they’ve been rougher with each other, but now they’re (literally) out in the open with it
also i’m so tired of people reducing movies with queer people (i’ve mostly seen it with queer men? for some reason gay sex is hilarious) down to one sex scene. leviticus and the bus scene, but also brokeback mountain gets reduced to the (only!!!) sex scene between jack and ennis, and heated rivalry, which honestly has the same amount of sex as whichever hetero show. anyway
lol yes, i love that joe clapped back like "why you gotta be a cheater bro?"
you put it so well!! sex sells and those scenes are going to get attention. but omfg i couldn't agree more about how tiring it is that people treat intimacy between queer characters as inherently shocking, funny, or somehow more explicit than hetero sex
call me by your name is about a peach, moonlight is about a beach, and black swan gets reduced to nina and lily in the bedroom. which is a shame because people barely engage with what the scene, or the film as a whole, is really trying to communicate
people really do miss so much when they only engage with media through their own preconceived biases…. it’s like queerness is inherently a spectacle to so many people and it sucks. brokeback is one of the most beautiful and moving films i’ve ever seen and people dumb it down to “haha gay sex” as if the movie isn’t 2 hours long. oooh and i hate the (old by now thank god) “sesbian lex/say gex” meme thing like just shoot me already. say the thing!!!!! i understand that it’s for censorship but it’s still so frustrating. there’s nothing dirty about queer sex and intimacy (i hate that “dirty” is used as a synonym for sexual anyway)
as usual, there's the time-lapse and some rambling below the cut:
drawing time: 7h
canvas stats:
song reference for the time-lapse:
i really wanted to find a frank ocean song for hunter, and i think seigfried is closely related to how i see him?
in germanic/norse mythology there's a hero named siegfried (sigurd in swedish) who bathed in dragon's blood which rendered his skin invulnerable, except for a single spot between his shoulder blades where a falling linden leaf landed. that hidden weakness becomes the point through which he can eventually be killed
in frank ocean’s seigfried he presents himself as someone who may appear untouchable from the outside, while still carrying a concealed vulnerability. the song is about alienation, queer identity/his bisexuality, masculinity, and the pressure to conform. frank considers the socially approved future, a house, a swimming pool, a family, while recognising that choosing it could mean living inside an idea created by other people rather than a life that feels like his own
hunter likely has friends, status, and an established place in bandi as the pastor’s son, but none of those things give him real belonging. that life only has room for the version of hunter that he performs. anything outside that role has to remain hidden, like siegfried’s single vulnerable spot
the repeated admission in the song that he's not brave feels significant. hunter is physically reckless and violent, but recklessness is not the same thing as bravery. he can fight, provoke/bully people, smoke, and yet he cannot openly confront what he wants
seigfried contains the possibility of recognising that the prescribed life is not truly yours and walking away from it. hunter never reaches that recognition in a way that frees him. he senses that the role he has been given is unbearable, but instead of escaping it, he turns the conflict inward. his shame becomes aggression, self-destruction, and punishment
the song shares some lines with elliott smith’s a fond farewell (i added the lyrics to both songs below). the friend in that song can be interpreted as not as a literal person, but as smith’s addicted self, or even the drugs themselves. the title suggests tenderness as well as finality. he's not condemning his former self; he is saying goodbye to a version of himself that once served a purpose, even if it was slowly killing him
a fond farewell contains the desire to separate the self from the destruction: this is happening to me, but this is not all that i am. hunter never reaches that distinction. he does not manage to say goodbye to the version of himself built from shame and punishment because he has never been shown that version is worthy of love
i’m not sure hunter ever fully understood that the entity was an entity. he dies still trapped inside the belief that his shame, violence, desire, and self-destruction are simply what he is. but a lot of people do not manage to pull themselves out of destructive patterns, addiction, or family situations/relationships even when they understand what is happening. and doing so without any support is harder still
these are the lyrics for seigfreid and a fond farewell:
oh my god your brain.. genuinely wow. ugh this is so beautiful.. hunter my boy :(
also, i think adding the snake ring was a cool touch, since hunter died before most of ryan’s and naim’s relationship played out, and hunter probably (?) never saw naim with the ring
aw! thank you so so so much <33 :*
i did some digging and they spoke about when the ring switched hands in this tiktok:
i also think there might be some symbolism in the fact that, at the time hunter died, the ring still hadn’t switched hands?
i’m also not completely sure i would describe the dynamic as a true love triangle. for ryan, i think naim and hunter represent two sides of himself. hunter is tied to the repression, violence, shame, and the version of masculinity ryan has learned to perform. naim, meanwhile, represents the possibility of tenderness, even though ryan is scared/unsure of what that would mean
so the ring changing hands could symbolise a shift in what desire itself means to ryan. while it remains on the original hand, he is still trapped in the dynamic hunter embodied: desire converted into aggression because neither of them had the language or safety to recognise it as anything else. when it switches, it becomes associated with ryan beginning to reach for intimacy/daring to be vulnerable
maybe that is why calling it a love triangle feels slightly wrong to me? hunter is not simply another romantic option competing with naim. he is almost a mirror of the person ryan might remain if he never learns to separate his desire from punishment
okay anyway no this definitely makes sense! the ring switching hands after the hospital also works with the bus scene being the first time ryan gets to have an uninterrupted honest moment of intimacy and closeness with naim, right? before that they’ve been rougher with each other, but now they’re (literally) out in the open with it
also i’m so tired of people reducing movies with queer people (i’ve mostly seen it with queer men? for some reason gay sex is hilarious) down to one sex scene. leviticus and the bus scene, but also brokeback mountain gets reduced to the (only!!!) sex scene between jack and ennis, and heated rivalry, which honestly has the same amount of sex as whichever hetero show. anyway
as usual, there's the time-lapse and some rambling below the cut:
drawing time: 7h
canvas stats:
song reference for the time-lapse:
i really wanted to find a frank ocean song for hunter, and i think seigfried is closely related to how i see him?
in germanic/norse mythology there's a hero named siegfried (sigurd in swedish) who bathed in dragon's blood which rendered his skin invulnerable, except for a single spot between his shoulder blades where a falling linden leaf landed. that hidden weakness becomes the point through which he can eventually be killed
in frank ocean’s seigfried he presents himself as someone who may appear untouchable from the outside, while still carrying a concealed vulnerability. the song is about alienation, queer identity/his bisexuality, masculinity, and the pressure to conform. frank considers the socially approved future, a house, a swimming pool, a family, while recognising that choosing it could mean living inside an idea created by other people rather than a life that feels like his own
hunter likely has friends, status, and an established place in bandi as the pastor’s son, but none of those things give him real belonging. that life only has room for the version of hunter that he performs. anything outside that role has to remain hidden, like siegfried’s single vulnerable spot
the repeated admission in the song that he's not brave feels significant. hunter is physically reckless and violent, but recklessness is not the same thing as bravery. he can fight, provoke/bully people, smoke, and yet he cannot openly confront what he wants
seigfried contains the possibility of recognising that the prescribed life is not truly yours and walking away from it. hunter never reaches that recognition in a way that frees him. he senses that the role he has been given is unbearable, but instead of escaping it, he turns the conflict inward. his shame becomes aggression, self-destruction, and punishment
the song shares some lines with elliott smith’s a fond farewell (i added the lyrics to both songs below). the friend in that song can be interpreted as not as a literal person, but as smith’s addicted self, or even the drugs themselves. the title suggests tenderness as well as finality. he's not condemning his former self; he is saying goodbye to a version of himself that once served a purpose, even if it was slowly killing him
a fond farewell contains the desire to separate the self from the destruction: this is happening to me, but this is not all that i am. hunter never reaches that distinction. he does not manage to say goodbye to the version of himself built from shame and punishment because he has never been shown that version is worthy of love
i’m not sure hunter ever fully understood that the entity was an entity. he dies still trapped inside the belief that his shame, violence, desire, and self-destruction are simply what he is. but a lot of people do not manage to pull themselves out of destructive patterns, addiction, or family situations/relationships even when they understand what is happening. and doing so without any support is harder still
these are the lyrics for seigfreid and a fond farewell:
oh my god your brain.. genuinely wow. ugh this is so beautiful.. hunter my boy :(
also, i think adding the snake ring was a cool touch, since hunter died before most of ryan’s and naim’s relationship played out, and hunter probably (?) never saw naim with the ring
i need to give the sloppiest most grateful head to akira yamaoka and whoever’s playing the instruments in love psalm of eternal devotion. love psalm is good too but with the eternal devotion… that song is so stupidly indescribably fucking good oh my god it’s so sexy i need to morph into it
i had a thought. leon kennedy sleeping. wow.. wow….. waugh.. imagine him sleeping. in a bed. in a soft bed with his little head on a pillow tucked in under a warm blanket and he’s soooo cozy… wow.. the human brain is so powerful
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