Never meant to Succeed

The first child, A; Unable to handle the pressure of living up to L, took her own life. (Indie Fem! A from Death Note. Not selective. Triggering content ahead. Mun is underaged, but other than that, nsfw is allowed.) M!A: Accepting Tracking: "nameisA"

[name-is-a-blog]

(I'm alive I swear. Just haven't been on tumblr as much lately. Hit me up if you want me skype, though. I'm much more acting on there.)

[animefanimefic]

[mihaelkeehl]

Yo brah. I really love your headcanons. Could you do some for if Matt and Mello were genderbent lesbians?

- Mello wearing thigh high boots everywhere she goes, she often tells Matt ‘No one quite screams like a man as you’re crushing his larynx with your heel’

- Matt has to paint Mello’s nails as her hands are too shaky to do it correctly and only Matt seems to have the patience for her barking orders

- Mello constantly decked in full lingerie, says it makes her feel powerful, Matt doesn’t complain

- Sharing baths with bath bombs

- Having to knock on their neighbours door so he’ll kill the spider currently in their bathtub

- Mello using her assets to get out of tickets. Matt getting jealous and making out with her once the officer has pulled away

[name-is-a-blog]

Hetalia's favorite thing to do at a world meeting

Germany: Looks into the camera like he's in The Office

Spain: Thinks of the Wii music and dances in his seat

Japan: Draws his OTP in the room

America: Dabbing whenever England looks at him because he knows he hates it

Prussia: Taking every pen in the room and making a pen castle out of them (Only France, Spain and him are allowed)

[notperfect-but]

[name-is-a-blog]

Name: Annabelle Adair Nickname: A Aliase(s): Ashley Adkins, Ashley, whatever else I think of lmao Age: 22 Gender: Female Quirks: Plays with hair in thought, sits with legs criss cross bc she usually wears dresses, drinks a lot of soda (much like her predecessor ate a fucc ton of sweets) Smol bio: A was left on an orphanage doorstep. At a young age, she was transferred into the Wammy’s house, an orphanage where gifted children were to be trained to become L’s (the world’s greatest detective) successor. A was the first child brought in, hence the letter she was given. Children flooded in on by one, but A was the most attached to B. In love with him, even. Unfortunately, the pressure of becoming successor quickly fell onto her shoulders, as she was the best performing student. Behind her were others, and A felt that she would be unable to fulfill the standards set, despite doing her best. So, at 16, she tried to hang herself. Fortunately, B caught her in the act, and was able to rescue her. Years later, A is now the successor after L’s sudden disappearance in the Kira case. She finished it off, putting Kira in jail, and now lives working on her own cases under L’s title, the world unaware that L was now a young girl, rather than the male that had been in her place.

[name-is-a-blog]

(OPEN STARTER. Originally made for Rolemance, but I'm posting it here. Feel free to make another post and tag me in it. Otherwise I'll make another post and link to it.)

[asinine-a]

God is the Devil

[name-is-a-blog]

“When can I ever sleep?” The girl gave a half-hearted laugh, twirling a lock of hair around her finger for a moment. “… Sure, actually, that would be nice… If it isn’t too much trouble.”

Annabelle stepped further into the kitchen, leaning against the counter.

[asinine-a]

A valiant attempt at a smile was made, but it didn’t reach the corner of his lips quite fast enough and was gone before he could try again. He’d gotten used to her appearing and disappearing. Sometimes she was more like a ghost than even he was.

He got another glass down and filled it with milk before stowing the jug back in the fridge. He turned around and set the glass next to her. 

“Roger’s given me a bottle of Xanax.. you can have a couple if you want. But you’ll need an extra cup of coffee in the mornings. Makes me feel exhausted during the day.”

[name-is-a-blog]

"Thank you," she mumbled, picking up the glass as she continued to lean on the counter. A pressed her lips onto the glass of milk, taking a sip of its contents before moving it away to speak.

There were two choices here. Take the Xanax and get some sleep but risk being drowsy, or refuse and continue being unable to sleep. She found that she preferred the latter; A was already used to working on low sleep. If she got more sleep on day than the other, she would be happy.

"That's alright. I'd rather get sleep naturally." It must have sounded strange, now that she thought about it. Choosing to remain awake than get sleep. But it was all for the sake of her performance in the morning. She needed to do her best.

[miss-to-oh]

“ … Right.” Why so overdefensive? 

[name-is-a-blog]

“ Not so talkative anymore, are you? ”

[name-is-a-blog]

Offline

[skm4]

I will protect you forever

[miss-to-oh]

“You don’t have to like me, but you are going to respect me.”

[name-is-a-blog]

“ Everyone should be respected to a point. Please don’t give me a good reason not to respect you, and we won’t have a problem. Okay? ”

[name-is-a-blog]

Ignored Topics (beyondbackup)

[name-is-a-blog]

At least she was talking about it. Beyond watched her, quietly, before beginning to wonder himself on how he would possibly be able to make it better. L was pushing her mentally to achieve something above, not only all of the other children here (including him), but to something above his own standards.

Was there even a solution to that? Helping her with her work would only make her worried on her own capabilities for when… if she ever… succeeded L. And any other form of action would only distract her from her necessities, causing her to stress more.

He allowed a small hum in thought. “What kind of what ifs?” He asked, lightly. He wasn’t here for a solution. He was here for support. He was certain that she’d feel better after she let some of those anxieties out.

“ That I’m not going to be good enough. I’m afraid of being a failure, B. ” Annabelle rested her head against B’s shoulder, sighing softly. “ I don’t want to let Mr. L down. ”

She took a few strands of her hair, beginning to braid it. “ B... Tonight... Will you sleep with me? ” A common question she asked when they were younger, but the phrase had become more and more rare the less she slept. The more she stayed awake to study.

[name-is-a-blog]

                                                 @beyondbackup

Two months.

Two months since Annabelle had disappeared.

Two months since she'd last seen B. In this state, the girl was glad she hadn't. The door to the hotel room she'd been abandoned in creaked open, dull brown eyes setting on the person in the doorway.

Oh no... Her knight stood in the doorframe. He couldn't see her like this... Blood soaking her skin, staining the once pure white nightgown she'd been kidnapped in with crimson splatters. The liquid life draining from various scrapes, cuts, and slashes which split her delicate skin.

But the worst injury of all was a large incision across her abdomen. For her organs were just barely kept within her. If she moved the wrong way... her intestines may fall out. The soft, broken voice of the broken girl was forced out. “ H-Hi, Bu-Bumble B... ” Only seconds after she spoke, a large amount of blood oozed and fell out of her mouth.

[tis-i-jeevas-christ-deactivated]

[name-is-a-blog]

Ignored Topics (beyondbackup)

[beyondbackup]

name-is-a

A watched him with curiosity in her eyes, wondering what the hell he was doing. Was he alright?- No. B told her he had a secret to tell her as well. She wouldn’t mistrust him just simply because she couldn’t see them.

But why would he tell her such a thing? Why would he be so worried?… Ah. That made sense. If he could see the death date…

“… My… erm, date… is approaching soon, then, isn’t it? Is that why you’re so upset about it?” she asked, moving to hold his hand with both of hers.

He looked down at his hands in hers, then looked up to her again. “Not soon.” Per say. It was dangerous to tell people their dates of death. He allowed a small smile. “Don’t jump to conclusions simply because  told you that I know when you’re going to die. I’m… ‘upset’, as you put it, because I’m simply concerned about you. It has nothing to do with that..” A hesitation. “…Annabelle.” He added, quietly, before standing up and stretching.

After all, he couldn’t say something then not prove it.

He turned to look at her again, and relaxed his arms by his sides. “My name is Beyond. Just to make it fair.” He shrugged. “Now, will you tell me what’s bothering you, or am I just going to have to take some accurate, educated guesses?”

( @name-is-a )

[name-is-a-blog]

“…” A still had suspicions about her own death date. Why would he mention it? JUST as incentive for her to tell him?

She paused when he spoke her name, having to take a few moments to register that was HER name. Not just the letter she’d been given at the beginning of her time at this institution.

“I already said I didn’t want to talk about it, but… I guess… Where do I even start?” she muttered.

[beyondbackup]

Beyond relaxed a little, his eyes almost - lazily on her. But the care was clear in his eyes. While it was true that A was evidently one to keep to herself, B was also not one for social skills all that much either. He found it a miracle that he had come this far without really going wrong.

“Hm…” He hesitated, then looked away from her. “How about the most obvious - at least, in my eyes. Stress?” He peered back towards her. “How are you coping? I’m under the assumption that you don’t pay much attention to it because your responsibility outweighs your need for emotions.”

[name-is-a-blog]

"... I'm not coping /well,/ but I suppose I'm still coping." She sighed, beginning to look away from him again. "I have no methods other than focusing on the work instead of emotions.

But when I finally decide to go to sleep... I usually can't. My brain starts digging up 'what ifs', and..." Annabelle frowned, glancing to him for a moment before looking away again. She was having a hard time keeping eye contact with him...

[name-is-a-blog]

Ignored Topics (beyondbackup)

[beyondbackup]

name-is-a

A watched him with curiosity in her eyes, wondering what the hell he was doing. Was he alright?- No. B told her he had a secret to tell her as well. She wouldn’t mistrust him just simply because she couldn’t see them.

But why would he tell her such a thing? Why would he be so worried?… Ah. That made sense. If he could see the death date…

“… My… erm, date… is approaching soon, then, isn’t it? Is that why you’re so upset about it?” she asked, moving to hold his hand with both of hers.

He looked down at his hands in hers, then looked up to her again. “Not soon.” Per say. It was dangerous to tell people their dates of death. He allowed a small smile. “Don’t jump to conclusions simply because  told you that I know when you’re going to die. I’m… ‘upset’, as you put it, because I’m simply concerned about you. It has nothing to do with that..” A hesitation. “…Annabelle.” He added, quietly, before standing up and stretching.

After all, he couldn’t say something then not prove it.

He turned to look at her again, and relaxed his arms by his sides. “My name is Beyond. Just to make it fair.” He shrugged. “Now, will you tell me what’s bothering you, or am I just going to have to take some accurate, educated guesses?”

( @name-is-a )

[name-is-a-blog]

"..." A still had suspicions about her own death date. Why would he mention it? JUST as incentive for her to tell him?

She paused when he spoke her name, having to take a few moments to register that was HER name. Not just the letter she'd been given at the beginning of her time at this institution.

"I already said I didn't want to talk about it, but... I guess... Where do I even start?" she muttered.