BB

So far this was merely a detective war with the killer, but from here on our lives are on the line. You should be ready for anything, Misora. { indie Beyond Birthday rp account }

[beyondbackup]

@the-smol-second​

The second successor. The backup. Always behind the first, always failing to reach the standard that he needed - craved - to become. Always wanting the attention that was never given to him. B remembered Mello. Not firmly, but enough. And he understood him more than what the blonde was probably comfortable with. After he had learned about L’s death, of course he was immediately interested in Wammy’s House. Near and Mello, the two successors. Who L picked - or, didn’t pick, as the case may be. It didn’t surprise him that Mello left. In fact, he had anticipated it. He’d have done the same.

And now he was here. How was he going to approach him? Mello knew all about the LABB Murder Cases, he knew that Beyond was a murderer. He also knew of how he had failed. B’s pride was already pushed enough to the edge. To talk to Mello now? Ah... 

Honestly, he acted as though he was good in social environments, but the beginning was always the hardest to fool. Might as well just get it over with. He caught up to the successor, hands in pockets. He was glad he had picked a busy area. Witnesses equaled protection, on both sides.

“I’m surprised. You wrote it extremely accurately. Especially accounting for the fact that L wasn’t present at a for most of it. I would have expected him to gloat on the win, but instead, it looked like he shared the same admiration for Naomi that I did.” He paused, tilting his head a little, regarding Mello. Was it safe to go Rue Ryuzaki on him? Or was it best to keep it to the persona he kept from Wammy’s House? Or simply be himself? The possibilities were endless with Mello.

“I do have a few issues though. Do you have time to talk, Mihael?”

[wownotashithead]

[lightandl]

Babes having fun in the shower together, yep that’s what this is

[notasenseofjustice-deactivated2]

L how do you deal with sadness? I'm crying so much right now. I literally just hate everything and i just want to stop feeling like this so any tips would be 1000% helpful

“I am no expert on the matter. But I do have sufficient experience in feeling this emotion, therefore I may be of some help. Though such subjects are difficult to navigate, and I am aware I run the risk of being misinterpreted. Music and literature often assist me in such things, in truth. There is nothing wrong with taking time to indulge in something which is soothing for your soul. It’s certainly not selfish. Re-channelling your energy is important. I’d also recommend a herbal tea of some sort. Whilst this may not assist in the root of the issue, it will ultimately be a comfort.” 

“Sadness is something that we all endure, no human is exempt from it. At times, it can be consuming. It’s the shadow always two paces ahead, the grey etched into the sky. We cannot evade it, nor do we wish to fully accept it. Instead we hang between, suspended. Everything succumbs to it, and there is a sensation that we have come to a halt.” pause. 

“But we should remember we are never stationary, really. Whilst it may feel as if sadness has shackled us to the present, the present is already the past. And you are already paving the future in these very moments. Sadness is but a vehicle. It may seem to drive you backwards - yet it can drive you forwards, in some respects. What I mean to say, is that you are continuing to move towards your own horizon, and it is getting ever closer. The fact you have written this message to me is certainly admirable in itself, and testament to your own resolve.” 

L glances down to the purring ball of fur curled in his lap. He smiles fondly at the cat gently stroking behind the ears. The cameras are off after all, nobody will see this side of him. But the smile lifts his voice, giving it a rare quality often unheard by many.

“Igor seems to agree with me on that. And, if you were here, I know for a fact he would let you pet him.”  

[beyondbackup]

//im lowkey going to reblog this so i can come back and read it the next time im sad. thank u <3

[glxwskin]

Does anyone else lie in bed at 2:30am filled with the crippling fear that they’re never going to accomplish anything in life and fail miserably or is that just me

[konekocosplay]

The long awaited sequel…. Mello’s Sick Day!!

[acadjonne]

“I’m gonna catch Kira!” Mello said, and then failed, and also died.

[beyondbackup]

hit me with the feels while I’m down why don’t you

[beyondbackup]

Ask Challenge

Tagged by: @godly-justice

Last….

Drink: water / blossom hill white zinfandel(?)

Phone call: My dad

Text Message: My mum

Song listened to: Stronger Than You Sans/Chara mix thing.

Have you ever….

Dated someone twice: lol no Been cheated on: no

Kissed someone and regretted it: no

Lost someone special: yes

Been depressed: um. i don’t even fucking know. i know i haven’t been in good places but I’ve never been diagnosed or anything. And even if I was, I’m not going to a fucking doctor. It’d ruin my life.

Gotten drunk and thrown up: lmao yes. Gran Canaria. Happy times. I threw up spaghetti into a bin and my friend told me to piss off. ... I miss her so fucking much.

List three favorite colors: Blue, purple, black

In the last year have you……

Made new friends: yea.

Laughed until you cried: ....no. jfc that’s sad.

Found out someone was talking about you: they always do anyway. not in the mean way. i hope..

Met someone who changed you: everyone I meet changes me.

Found out who your true friends were: yes. sorta. i don’t know.

Kissed someone one your Facebook list: I’ve never fucking kissed anyone all right.

General……

How many Facebook friends do you know irl: Most of them

Do you have any pets: not anymore.

Do you want to change your name: don’t know

What did you do for your last birthday: we went out for a meal. we drew my friend, Amy, on a whiteboard because she wasn’t there. I miss her too. So fucking much.

what time did you wake up: today? about 11. Maybe a bit earlier.

what were you doing at midnight last night: laptop. maybe sims.

Name something you cannot wait for: death. right now anyway. when im in a proper state of mind - uni.

When was the last time you saw a movie: today. recently finished Terminator... genesis? I think? before that it was The Heat (also today). Last in theatres - Friend Request. <3

what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: give me more motivation and inspiration. Inspiration. Ideas. Anything. just give me the ability to imagine.

What are you listening to right now: My typing.

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: probably.

Something that gets on your nerves: when people ignore me. idk. uh. nothing really annoys me.

Most visited websites: Tumblr, Youtube, Facebook, Twitter

Hair color: brown + ombre

Long or short hair: medium I guess.

Do you have a crush on somebody: i don’t even know anymore.

What do you like about yourself: I don’t look bad. I dropped a few sizes so there’s that .

Blood type: idek

Piercings: ears

Nicknames: Tiff, Tif

Relationship Status: nothing. ever. im doomed to loneliness. and im not kidding right now, all these answers are pretty real.

Favorite tv show: Sherlock, Doctor Who, Supernatural, Death Note, general anime’s, BLACK MIRROR. okay lets go with Black Mirror.

Pronouns: She/her

Right or left handed: Right

First….

Surgery: never

Piercing: Ear lobes

Best friend: Marlee <3

Holiday: Gran Canaria <3

Pair of Trainers: ...probably when I was like, 2? idk? odd question.

Right now I am….

Eating: Nothing

Drinking: Nothing

I’m about to: probably cry.

Listening to: nothing.

Waiting for: uni.

Want: a hug..

Career: camera op/editor

Hugs or kisses: hugs.

Lips or eyes: both? I say both.

Shorter or taller: for me? i wanna be shorter. I like people taller than me.

Younger or Older: I want to stay 19 forever. I don’t give a crap who the other person is as long as they’re not young or super old.

Nice arms or nice stomach: irrelevant.

Romantic or Spontaneous: romantic i think

Hookup or relationship: Relationship? but then idk

Trouble maker or hesitant trouble maker: i don’t care.

Have you ever….

Kissed a stranger: No

Drank hard liquor: I don’t think so?

Lost contact lenses/ glasses: glasses. once. they were on my pillow.

Turned someone down: constantly.

Sex on first date: never.

Broken someones heart: lol no one cares about me enough for that

Had your own heart broken: no

Been arrested: No

Cried when someone died: yes.

fallen for a friend: uh. i dunno.

Do you believe in……

Yourself: kinda I guess.

Miracle: i wish.

Love at first sight: eh. depends.

Santa claus: no but i wanna. in fact no yes i do. i definitely do because my heart just broke to say i don’t.

Kiss on first date: depends.

Angels: i wish.

Other….

Eye color: Brown

Favorite movies: The Phantom of the Opera (25th anniversary), Fight Club, Labyrinth and a few more.

tag: anyone who wants to do it. all the people who think they’re my friend. you probably are tbh but right now i really don’t feel like it so. sorry.

[beyondbackup]

//getit? I went from my A account, through some of my others, to my B account. A to B. Get it?

hahaha im so fucking funny.

[a-succession]

i’m trying really hard.

[iamxkira]

I don’t know how I really feel

[yourtimeisnear]

I have all these accounts but no inspiration. No passion anymore.

[corruptedyagami]

I don’t even have anyone who cares enough to really ask. Or miss me.

[drawnxtolight]

is this all my life is? just a constant skip from one account to the next? meeting friends then leaving them behind?

[beyondbackup]

I don’t like it. I don’t want it. But I want something. I want meaning. I want a reason to stay.

But it never comes. And then I’m stuck in a loop of boredom, of non-inspiration. I’m stuck doing nothing, until the next obsession comes along, and I find myself fitting into one place for a short amount of time.

I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore or how I feel. 

I just want people to care and pay attention to me. Who miss me when I’m gone.

[lightforl-deactivated20161004]

✋ (lmao you can't just reblog that from me and not expect this ~ )

L stared up at his doppelgänger, a small whimper escaping his lips once he had been pinned to the bed. It was one of those things he had never expected to happen between the two, especially on a night like this. All they have been doing was work, nothing too exciting or interesting.

“Beyond? Just what do you think you’re doing…?” Asked the raven haired male, his question making him sound a bit foolish. @beyondbackup

[beyondbackup]

lightforl

Bs words somehow…managed to hurt L. He understood why they couldn’t exactly date and be each other’s at all times but…only in bed? It was…saddening and it made him feel more like a toy rather than loved. He found himself vaguely hoping that he had misunderstood his words, but nonetheless, he forced himself to push those thoughts away. After all, it wasn’t like he was receiving this much attention on an everyday basis.

“B-Beyond,” he panted heavily as he tried even harder to response to his thrusts. That was until an idea had come to his mind. With force, he managed to flip them over, causing him to be on top of B and earning a surprised expression from him. “L-let me do something for you, B…please?” He pleaded innocently as he began to grind against the other, a sensual moan escaping his own lips.

Beyond was definitely surprised. He let out a small noise, gasping as his back hit the bed, eyes widening a little as they looked up to L. And for a moment, his guard dropped. He instantly remembered Alex, but automatically tried to push that out of his head. It was not the best time to dwell on that. Besides. This wasn’t really bottoming. Not really.

He dropped his head back onto the pillow, closing his eyes. “Shit– …Yes.” He blinked, and looked back towards L. “Just…” Take it slow? Be cautious? No. He could handle it, besides- what could L do that would surprise him?

He reached up towards him, and took his hand. All right. So this position was definitely more comfortable for him.

@lightforl

[lightforl-deactivated20161004]

L might have been inexperienced but he learned fast. From what he had experienced so far, he had a good idea on what B liked and what he /really/ liked. He started off by slowly rolling his hips, eventually gaining more and more speed. He took notice of the small sounds that somehow escaped B’s lips and smirked to himself, shakily standing up and letting himself fall back onto his length, a loud moan escaping his own lips.

He felt a surge of pleasure and pain surge through him but it was worth it. He was pleasuring B and that was enough to cause him to continue. “Clear your mind, just…just think about me,” he whispered softly once he had lied down on his chest.

[beyondbackup]

Honestly, the only thing that was in his mind was how the fuck L could be this good already? He let go of L’s hand and took ahold of the quilt covers, gripping them. L seemed to be concentrating more on him now. Which he wasn’t really complaining about. It felt so good.

A moan escaped from him, which he quickly stopped by biting his lip. He gave a small nod at L’s words, doing exactly that. Somehow, he found it easier to push the thoughts from Alex out of his mind. L was completely different. L.. was better. But then again, L had always been better.

[beyondbackup]

lightforl

L almost let himself become disappointed at the sound of his questions but pushed it away rather quickly. What did it matter anyway? He was most likely to die soon anyway…B had asked about ‘what would happen if he died’ and that alone was enough to let him know that he didn’t have much time left. And who knows…B was great at stealing identities…maybe he could become the best by knowing everything about someone that everyone knew absolutely nothing about.

“I’m…I was born in the UK.” L muttered as he felt another nostalgic feeling swarm through his body. He remembered being picked up by Watari, Watari giving him a coat because it was cold out, providing him with gloves, and clothing because what he had no longer fit him so well…and funny enough, the first outfit he received were blue jeans and a white long sleeve shirt…maybe that’s why he never changed styles. The bold colours and non-fashionable clothes had meaning to him. He took another deep breath before continuing, his charcoal eyes meeting Beyond’s.

“I was born on October 31st and well…sadly enough, I don’t have much knowledge on my family. From research that I have personally done in my free time, it appears as if they were in a car accident, but that can be a bit debatable really..” He stopped there, realizing that his past still was somewhat of a harsh topic. But nonetheless, he kept quiet for now, wanting to hear any inputs B might have before continuing.

Halloween. That was easy enough to remember. And – a car accident? How ordinary. He opened his eyes when he stopped speaking and looked towards him. He would be a little cautious for overstepping boundaries usually, but now - he didn’t particularly care. L could share as much as he was comfortable with; the detective had the firm ability to say no.

With a sigh, he gave a small nod. “How old were you when you met Watari?” He asked, after a few moments. Of course, he was sure he could come up with better questions - however, sometimes, you couldn’t get the easiest info with the complicated questions.

@lightforl

[lightforl-deactivated20161004]

L took another shaky breath upon remembering how and when he had met Watari. Even though he was almost never affected by well…a lot of things, his family and past were one of the hardest subjects and Beyond being the one to ask these questions only made it worse. What could he possibly want them for? Did he plan on doing more harm than what he had already done? Did he plan on…possibly being his successor whilst everyone else thought he was L? He had mentioned wanting to know even the most irrelevant of things and that didn’t mean good because if they really were trying to get to know each other more, those things wouldn’t exactly matter.

“I met Watari when I was about…eight maybe? Somewhere around there..” He sighed once more before finally just lying down and ignoring the discomfort the mattress brought him. “Is there any particular reason for wanting to know everything..? Other than just ‘wanting to know me’?”

[beyondbackup]

B turned to look at L as soon as he laid down, pausing at the question. “No.” He said, after a few moments. It was clear that L was beginning to suspect him of… something. But that was to be expected. He doubted that anyone had asked him about his past like this. Of course, L would have been… protective.

He turned in his spot, lying on his side as he looked L in the eyes. “I want to know you. That’s all.” He paused. “I understand your suspicion. It makes complete sense. But I’m not lying to you.” He lowered his voice. “You’re the person I look up to and the only one that matters. I’ve always wanted to know you as a person - not a standard - maybe so… I can find some way to relate to you aside from the copycat charade. I want to prove to myself that whatever you do is achievable by my own standards, and the way to do that is to see how much of a person you are. Your past makes you who you are, and if you don’t bullshit me, it might help…”

There was a pause, before he looked down to the covers. “And I also care about you enough to want to know everything about you. – .. I find this hard to explain, so I’m sorry. But– I promise, I’m not doing this to get back at you or to do something in the future.

-So.

How did you meet Watari?”

[lightforl-deactivated20161004]

Beyond? Caring? It sounded like a concept that was way out of the world to L because since when was someone interested in him? Almost never and ‘talking about your past and feelings’ wasn’t exactly a usual thing for him. He was more used to being ignore and pushed to the side by others because of his habits that were often deemed as repulsive.

“I…Watari was the one that found me walking out one day,” he spoke quietly and his speech was more so slurred and mumbled compared to his regular, articulate tone.

“Do you have anymore questions or would you rather me just…talk about anything that you would find useful?” He asked a few seconds later as his charcoal eyes met B’s once more.

[beyondbackup]

He had wanted more information than that. Like, why L was out there alone in the first place. Yet it seemed that L didn’t particularly want to talk about it. He could tell by his voice. At his next question, he couldn’t help his interest though.

“You can talk. It might be better than me just asking questions. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” He hummed.

[lightforl-deactivated20161004]

✋ (lmao you can't just reblog that from me and not expect this ~ )

L stared up at his doppelgänger, a small whimper escaping his lips once he had been pinned to the bed. It was one of those things he had never expected to happen between the two, especially on a night like this. All they have been doing was work, nothing too exciting or interesting.

“Beyond? Just what do you think you’re doing…?” Asked the raven haired male, his question making him sound a bit foolish. @beyondbackup

[beyondbackup]

lightforl

Bs words somehow…managed to hurt L. He understood why they couldn’t exactly date and be each other’s at all times but…only in bed? It was…saddening and it made him feel more like a toy rather than loved. He found himself vaguely hoping that he had misunderstood his words, but nonetheless, he forced himself to push those thoughts away. After all, it wasn’t like he was receiving this much attention on an everyday basis.

“B-Beyond,” he panted heavily as he tried even harder to response to his thrusts. That was until an idea had come to his mind. With force, he managed to flip them over, causing him to be on top of B and earning a surprised expression from him. “L-let me do something for you, B…please?” He pleaded innocently as he began to grind against the other, a sensual moan escaping his own lips.

Beyond was definitely surprised. He let out a small noise, gasping as his back hit the bed, eyes widening a little as they looked up to L. And for a moment, his guard dropped. He instantly remembered Alex, but automatically tried to push that out of his head. It was not the best time to dwell on that. Besides. This wasn’t really bottoming. Not really.

He dropped his head back onto the pillow, closing his eyes. “Shit-- ...Yes.” He blinked, and looked back towards L. “Just...” Take it slow? Be cautious? No. He could handle it, besides- what could L do that would surprise him?

He reached up towards him, and took his hand. All right. So this position was definitely more comfortable for him.

@lightforl

[beyondbackup]

lightforl

L almost let himself become disappointed at the sound of his questions but pushed it away rather quickly. What did it matter anyway? He was most likely to die soon anyway…B had asked about ‘what would happen if he died’ and that alone was enough to let him know that he didn’t have much time left. And who knows…B was great at stealing identities…maybe he could become the best by knowing everything about someone that everyone knew absolutely nothing about.

“I’m…I was born in the UK.” L muttered as he felt another nostalgic feeling swarm through his body. He remembered being picked up by Watari, Watari giving him a coat because it was cold out, providing him with gloves, and clothing because what he had no longer fit him so well…and funny enough, the first outfit he received were blue jeans and a white long sleeve shirt…maybe that’s why he never changed styles. The bold colours and non-fashionable clothes had meaning to him. He took another deep breath before continuing, his charcoal eyes meeting Beyond’s.

“I was born on October 31st and well…sadly enough, I don’t have much knowledge on my family. From research that I have personally done in my free time, it appears as if they were in a car accident, but that can be a bit debatable really..” He stopped there, realizing that his past still was somewhat of a harsh topic. But nonetheless, he kept quiet for now, wanting to hear any inputs B might have before continuing.

Halloween. That was easy enough to remember. And – a car accident? How ordinary. He opened his eyes when he stopped speaking and looked towards him. He would be a little cautious for overstepping boundaries usually, but now - he didn’t particularly care. L could share as much as he was comfortable with; the detective had the firm ability to say no.

With a sigh, he gave a small nod. “How old were you when you met Watari?” He asked, after a few moments. Of course, he was sure he could come up with better questions - however, sometimes, you couldn’t get the easiest info with the complicated questions.

@lightforl

[lightforl-deactivated20161004]

L took another shaky breath upon remembering how and when he had met Watari. Even though he was almost never affected by well…a lot of things, his family and past were one of the hardest subjects and Beyond being the one to ask these questions only made it worse. What could he possibly want them for? Did he plan on doing more harm than what he had already done? Did he plan on…possibly being his successor whilst everyone else thought he was L? He had mentioned wanting to know even the most irrelevant of things and that didn’t mean good because if they really were trying to get to know each other more, those things wouldn’t exactly matter.

“I met Watari when I was about…eight maybe? Somewhere around there..” He sighed once more before finally just lying down and ignoring the discomfort the mattress brought him. “Is there any particular reason for wanting to know everything..? Other than just ‘wanting to know me’?”

[beyondbackup]

B turned to look at L as soon as he laid down, pausing at the question. “No.” He said, after a few moments. It was clear that L was beginning to suspect him of... something. But that was to be expected. He doubted that anyone had asked him about his past like this. Of course, L would have been... protective.

He turned in his spot, lying on his side as he looked L in the eyes. “I want to know you. That’s all.” He paused. “I understand your suspicion. It makes complete sense. But I’m not lying to you.” He lowered his voice. “You’re the person I look up to and the only one that matters. I’ve always wanted to know you as a person - not a standard - maybe so... I can find some way to relate to you aside from the copycat charade. I want to prove to myself that whatever you do is achievable by my own standards, and the way to do that is to see how much of a person you are. Your past makes you who you are, and if you don’t bullshit me, it might help...”

There was a pause, before he looked down to the covers. “And I also care about you enough to want to know everything about you. -- .. I find this hard to explain, so I’m sorry. But-- I promise, I’m not doing this to get back at you or to do something in the future.

-So.

How did you meet Watari?”

[beyondbackup]

lightforl

L almost let himself become disappointed at the sound of his questions but pushed it away rather quickly. What did it matter anyway? He was most likely to die soon anyway…B had asked about ‘what would happen if he died’ and that alone was enough to let him know that he didn’t have much time left. And who knows…B was great at stealing identities…maybe he could become the best by knowing everything about someone that everyone knew absolutely nothing about.

“I’m…I was born in the UK.” L muttered as he felt another nostalgic feeling swarm through his body. He remembered being picked up by Watari, Watari giving him a coat because it was cold out, providing him with gloves, and clothing because what he had no longer fit him so well…and funny enough, the first outfit he received were blue jeans and a white long sleeve shirt…maybe that’s why he never changed styles. The bold colours and non-fashionable clothes had meaning to him. He took another deep breath before continuing, his charcoal eyes meeting Beyond’s.

“I was born on October 31st and well…sadly enough, I don’t have much knowledge on my family. From research that I have personally done in my free time, it appears as if they were in a car accident, but that can be a bit debatable really..” He stopped there, realizing that his past still was somewhat of a harsh topic. But nonetheless, he kept quiet for now, wanting to hear any inputs B might have before continuing.

Halloween. That was easy enough to remember. And -- a car accident? How ordinary. He opened his eyes when he stopped speaking and looked towards him. He would be a little cautious for overstepping boundaries usually, but now - he didn’t particularly care. L could share as much as he was comfortable with; the detective had the firm ability to say no.

With a sigh, he gave a small nod. “How old were you when you met Watari?” He asked, after a few moments. Of course, he was sure he could come up with better questions - however, sometimes, you couldn’t get the easiest info with the complicated questions.

@lightforl

[beyondbackup]

lightforl

L frowned but stood up anyways, following along with whatever B wanted.

“5th floor, room number 7…I’ll have someone up here in just a second..” He spoke rather quietly, finding his bluntness a bit funny despite it being sort of his thing as well. When B left to go search for the the room, L moved over to the first person he saw…that being Matsuda. He figured that all he needed to do was watch and call him in case of an emergency, something he doubted would happen, so he assigned the job. After all, he might’ve been an idiot but there was no way he could mess something up while watching a screen.

He walked over to his room, his head filling with countless questions he’d love to ask B, but decided against asking most of them. He didn’t want this to sound like an interrogation…he mostly wanted it to be friendly talk…one where it wouldn’t become violent or angry…just a simple, everyday talk. He knocked on the door two times before speaking up, “B? Can I come in?”

He was surprised that L even had a bedroom. Or knew what one was. Regardless, he made his way to it, finding it with ease. Once inside, he turned on his heals, and collapsed onto the bed, practically, staring up at the ceiling as he spread his arms out.

“Such a nice bed…” He said to himself, relaxing even further. He hadn’t slept in one like this in such a long time. He had missed how comfortable it was.

He stood at L’s words, making his way towards the door and pulling it open. He was half asleep by that point, even though he hadn’t really been there for long. Turning, he moved back to the bed, this time, lying on it the right way, and only taking up half.

“Pick one thing to ask me, L.” He hummed, after a few moments, “I’ll tailor what I say to it~”

@lightforl

[lightforl-deactivated20161004]

One thing? L sighed as climbed on top of the bed almost awkwardly and letting himself collapse onto his side as if he were some sort of child. He eyed B for a mere second before he finally had his question picked out. “What…” He took a moment to think his words through, making sure that they didn’t sound too weird or intrusive.

“What role do I have to you? Or better yet…what do you want me to do to finally fix everything between us…? Because obviously, we’ve had quite a lot happening between us and…I want to try to fix these things…” He admitted rather shyly considering he was letting his guard down for once.

“Listen, I too feel bad about what happened with A but that’s all in the past…I feel like we should…move on and put those incidents behind us. I’m not saying we should forget but…maybe keep moving forward instead of backwards..”

[beyondbackup]

B watched L. Stared at him - almost. With a small hesitation, he looked away, then rolled onto his back, moving his hand up into the air. …a painful wave of memories overcame him at that. Misora…

“You say that we should move on yet you previously asked me why I was suicidal and that we should have a conversation that could benefit us both.” He stated, eyes lingering on his hand, just remembering Naomi. “You cannot fix something that was never right to begin with, L. Perhaps we should just restart. Remember, but get to know each other without judgement on the past. If you care at all for that, that is.

-But if we do, we need to understand each other before that happens. I want to know what you’re thinking just as much as you want to know what I’m thinking.”

[lightforl-deactivated20161004]

L nodded before he shifted around the mattress, clearly having a disliking towards the crisp sheets and pillows that seemed to swallow him up like quicksand. “I agree. However, our past is part of us, B. I would like to know more about you, what you went through when you weren’t in Wammy’s house…after all, I wouldn’t want to effect you more than I already have,” a small sigh unknowingly escaped his lips as he sat up on the mattress rather than laying down this time.

“So tell me please. I would share more about myself but…I’m almost 99.9% sure that you know more than enough considering how…thorough you were when it came to doing research and spying on me..”

[beyondbackup]

B narrowed his eyes, turning his eyes to L as he fidgeted and spoke. With a hesitation at his words, he sighed, and looked to the ceiling.

“I don’t know everything about you. You’re very hard to research.” He stated, blankly. “Even with access to Watari’s computer–” (which he had happened to gain a few times) “–I still never got the answers i wanted. It seems to be a running trend, a life full of unanswered questions and failures.” He sighed, stretching.

“My life when I wasn’t at Wammy’s? There’s a nice beach in Spain…It has a very interesting community” Closing his eyes, he frowned, faintly. “I made friends. I stayed there for a few years– I experimented and solved cases on the side. It really isn’t relevant.”

[lightforl-deactivated20161004]

L’s eyes slowly closed as he tried to imagine/picture what it must’ve been like. Despite B mentioning how depressed he was…it didn’t sound like the time out of Wammy’s was all that bad…or at least to L it didn’t sound like it. He would’ve loved to take a break from so much stress and move over to another community and have some company. Even though he came off as a solitary, strong headed person, even he got lonely at times.

“That sounds nice,” he added once B had finished speaking. “And I wouldn’t have guessed that you would struggle with finding things about me…after all, it /was/ made to be challenging but considering you’re one of the only people that knows who I am..I would’ve expected you to have an easier time,” his monotonous voice rang across the bedroom as he shifted around a bit, finding that he sunk into the mattress if he tried sitting like he usually would. So instead, he sat normally, his legs stretched out in front of him.

“But nothing important has gone on. I solve cases and spend my time doing work. There really isn’t much to know but…what questions do you have?”

[beyondbackup]

B opened his eyes and looked at L. Truth be told, he didn’t really care about the mattress. It was comfortable. Nice. He hadn’t experienced anything like that in quite some time.

“Watari’s good at hiding your information.” He stated, blankly, pushing the thoughts of the beach and Alex out of his mind. “At least you know it’s secure. If I can’t manage to find anything, no one else can.” He sighed, and closed his eyes again. He really was beginning to get more and more relaxed. Maybe even... tired?

“Honestly-- it was more to do with where you came from and what you were like as a kid. Your family. How Watari found you --even your birthday.“ He stretched a little. “I wanted to know everything about you, irrelevant or not.”

[lightforl-deactivated20161004]

✋ (lmao you can't just reblog that from me and not expect this ~ )

L stared up at his doppelgänger, a small whimper escaping his lips once he had been pinned to the bed. It was one of those things he had never expected to happen between the two, especially on a night like this. All they have been doing was work, nothing too exciting or interesting.

“Beyond? Just what do you think you’re doing…?” Asked the raven haired male, his question making him sound a bit foolish. @beyondbackup

[beyondbackup]

lightforl

L didn’t want anything else but to feel. He longed for the feeling of affection and warmth, especially Beyond’s. So much had gone on between them, both good and bad…but mostly bad and he couldn’t help but feel ashamed and maybe even hurt whenever he saw these things happen. Now that he was in this specific scenario, he couldn’t help but feel joy, need, and so many other things that he hadn’t felt on such a long time.

“I-I don’t care, you have done this before so I would have let you take over anyway…a-and I would much rather have proper sexual intercourse with you, B…I want to feel you close,” he whispered into his ear softly as he began to unknowingly thrust into the other’s hand.

B felt his eyes close at the feeling of L moving in his hand, allowing himself to linger in the moment, before he removed the hand entirely again. He brought it up. It was at this point, if he was feeling particularly dominant, he’d get the other to suck and wet his fingers. But since - again, it was L’s first time - and he didn’t particularly want to wait, he placed his fingers in his own mouth, sucking them clean for a moment, wetting them, tilting his head a little to the side.

He pulled them out. He had maintained eye contact throughout.

He moved his hand back down again, this time placing one finger at his entrance. “L… this’ll feel a little odd. If it hurts too much, tell me.” He said, his voice suddenly gentler. He propped himself up a little better, allowing his other hand to cup L’s face again as he slowly pushed in.

[ If he was honest, he had only done this specific thing once before. And that had been a bit of experimentation with A. The second time? Don’t tell; but that was one traffic light B stopped for.

What an experience that had been.

A firm grasp on his memory or not - he never forgot the feeling. ]

He started to pump the finger in and out, watching for L’s reactions. He wanted to make sure he didn’t hurt him.

@lightforl

[lightforl-deactivated20161004]

A small whine of protest escaped the younger man’s lips once Beyond had removed his hand from his length. He felt himself grow almost painfully aroused and seeing B suck on his fingers in such a vulgar/lewd fashion only seemed to turn him on even more. Just when he was going to shakily move his own hand to his length he felt the other’s finger slowly enter him, only causing a small cry to escape his lips. “B-Beyond!” He whimpered at the feeling, feeling himself instantly clamp down.

He tried to take a few breaths, realizing that the older man had stopped pumping his fingers. ‘Remember suck it up if you want to be remembered’ he took shallow breaths, trying to remind himself that he wanted B to want him more than anything currently. And so with a shaky nod, he looked back into B’s eyes with a nervous gaze. “Y-you can continue..” He mumbled quietly, feeling self conscious and embarrassed for what had happened.

[beyondbackup]

B carefully watched him with concern. He didn’t care how ‘strong’ L wanted to be. All he cared about was that he wasn’t pushing him too much. So he stayed still, even after the other man told him to continue. “Relax.” He said, gently. “It’ll go easier. It’s hard, but it’s worth it.” He pressed a small kiss to the other man’s lips.

“Breathe and relax. We’ll go as slow as it takes.”

[lightforl-deactivated20161004]

L nodded, feeling his face heat up to an embarrassing point. He was sure he looked beat red by now and that definitely didn’t help his shy/nervous case. With a deep breath, he braced himself as he slowly pushed himself against B’s finger, small, soft moans falling from his lip.

Once he had adjusted to the feeling a bit, he slowly opened his eyes, staring at L’s thin figure and realizing that he had never really paid attention to his body before. His own eyes seemed to shine with care as he saw the scars that scattered along his torso and sides. “M-more, B…p-please,” he begged breathlessly.

[beyondbackup]

Beyond watched him, cautiously, taking in every expression, every hint of emotion that crossed L’s face. Seeing the embarrassment even increase, he moved forward and pressed another kiss to the man’s lips. “It’s okay.” He whispered, “You don’t need to hold anything back. Okay?”

He watched as L opened his eyes after h adjusted, noticing the look, how he noticed. Lowering his eyes, he took a moment. Yes. He was very self-conscious. When the detective didn’t mention anything though, he simply hummed, pressing the finger gently further into him, before slowly pulling back and repeating the process, taking it slow.

“…You’re doing well.” He told hm, gently. “Just focus on breathing and staying relaxed.” He removed the finger for a moment, bringing it up so he could spit on it, before returning; the extra moisture making it a little better and easier to cope with.

[lightforl-deactivated20161004]

L couldn’t help but find himself feeling slightly upset that he couldn’t provide B with the proper things they needed for their activities. He felt bad that B had to use his spit rather than lubricant but he didn’t say anything. He just lied there, wanton moans escaping his lips once he had become fully used to the feeling. And sure enough, B was right, it was well worth it. He found himself trying to spread his legs a bit more by the second, desperately wanting to please Beyond. It was all for B and he since he wasn’t and couldn’t be the first, L wanted to be his best even when he was fully inexperienced.

“J-just take me…please…make me yours, I want to be all yours and only yours..” He whispered softly, trying his best to sound seductive enough.

[beyondbackup]

B smiled, faintly at L at his words, before pressing a kiss against his lips again and inserting another finger. “I won’t do that until I know I won’t hurt you. –much.” Regardless, he still felt his own bulge press against his jeans. Which he should probably take off soon.

He worked L up to three fingers, allowing the detective to get used to that, before finally pulling away. He tugged at his own jeans then, pulling them off, at the same time as pulling L’s boxers off. He spat into his hand, wetting his length as much as he could, positioning himself at L’s entrance as he paused, gazing at the detective.

Slowly, he moved forward and deeply kissed L, lingering in it for a moment as he took the man’s hand. “…Hey. You mean a lot to me.” He whispered, gently. He couldn’t very well say that he loved L. But he’d be lying if he said that he didn’t care at all.

He kept his face close to L’s as he moved his free hand down, guiding himself as he pressed against him, very slowly pushing in his tip. “Just breathe.” He whispered. “We go at your pace. All right?” He gently squeezed L’s hand.

[lightforl-deactivated20161004]

L wrapped his arms around B, holding him in a close, innocent embrace the moment he had leaned down to kiss him. His words brought shivers and a stronger sense of arousal to him and he couldn’t help but let out a quiet, needy whine. “Y-you mean a l-lot to me as well, B…m-more than you think,” he whispered against his ear softly before a sharp gasp was emitted from his lips.

The sensation of being filled was..strange and it was far more different than the fingers…this hurt a lot more and he vaguely wondered whether he would be able to successfully carry on. A pained expression covered his features as small whines left his lips. He took a few seconds to control and calm himself, trying to remember how much he /needed/ B, and when he finally reached that point, he let out a shaky break along with shaky words, “M-move, p-please..”

[beyondbackup]

More than he thought… L cared for him more than he thought, huh? Of course. There was a reason he was letting him do this, and L wasn’t one to just show emotion to just anyone. But in truth, he wouldn’t be surprised if this was happening just because L suddenly felt horny and needed something. He wouldn’t put L past a lot of things.

He rested his head a little in L’s shoulder, closing his eyes at the feeling. He made himself wait for L, knowing how much it must hurt the first time. He just needed to take this slow and then he’d get what he wanted later.

He hesitated when L finally told him to move. He decided to trust him this time, and moved, still slowly, into him. He grit his teeth a little, closing his eyes. “You feel good.” He whispered, very quietly.

[lightforl-deactivated20161004]

A small whimper escaped L’s lips as he lied there, not wanting to move a single muscle considering how much it would probably hurt. His hold on B only tightened as he pressed his face to the other male’s neck, kissing the supple skin and giving it kitten-like licks, wondering whether B would allow him to do much more….

He figured that doing something himself would slowly help him forget about the pain and so he hesitantly latched his teeth onto the skin, gently sucking and nibbling it. “B-Beyond…” He moaned almost shamelessly as he pulled him closer with his legs. “Y-you feel…a-amazing…” He whispered as the pain slowly started to easy away. Because the younger man only felt more and more lust wash through him, he figured it’d be best to response to B’s steady, slow thrusts by rolling his hips in time with him.

[beyondbackup]

He couldn’t hold back a gasp when L’s teeth latched themselves onto his neck. Inexperienced or not, it still felt good. Very good. It simply added to the entire experience and he loved every second of it. “Shit…” He whispered, as he very slowly and gently began to thrust into L. He, admittedly, was holding himself back. He cared too much about the other’s well-being to disregard any element of his pain. He knew exactly how it felt like on the other end.

He pulled up, propping himself up a little by his elbows on each side of L, looking down to him for a few moments before then moving forward, catching him in a deep kiss. Who’d of ever known that… technically, finally, B really was on top of L.

[lightforl-deactivated20161004]

Small moans left the detective’s lips as he pressed himself as close to Beyond as possible. “B-Beyond…it’s ok, d-don’t hold back, please…I’ll tell you if something doesn’t feel good, I promise…”

He began to voluntarily roll his hips against the other’s, desperately wanting to feel as much as possible. “P-please, B…I want you more than anything right now…please make me yours…l-let me be yours,” he whined softly as his lips moved over to his ear where he bit and sucked at his love gently.

[beyondbackup]

Yet.. even in this position, L could tell that he was holding back? --He didn’t even care. The noises that were escaping L - the emotion - it was almost too much. And his words too. And the way he bit and sucked at his ear. He moved a hand onto L’s shoulder as he gave a harsh push, suppressing a small gasp-moan from himself. He set a slightly quicker and stronger pace, keeping a mental note to make sure L was okay at all times.

Knowing L, even in this situation, he could probably figure out why B was being so cautious.

“You’re mine.” He whispered in response to L, just by his ear. “At least, in this bed. You’re all mine.”