Movie Theater Woes

The Frustrations of a Disgruntled Movie Theater Employee

[nametag-less]

If the doors are locked

*whispers*

THAT PROBABLY MEANS THAT WE'RE NOT OPEN.

STOP POUNDING ON THE DOORS, I'M NOT GOING TO ANSWER YOU, AND I'M NOT GOING TO LET YOU IN.

[nametag-less]

When I, a female worker, am cleaning the men's bathroom (of which I made sure no one was in before entering), and you, a male specimen, walks in and immediately unzips your pants to go pee before allowing me 3 seconds to leave, know that I hate you.

I don't want to see your hotdog.

We don't sell those at my theater.

[nametag-less]

Do not ask me what movies I think are good.

1) I do not get to actually watch the movies. I am working all day; there is no time for me to sit down and watch the god damn film. If I want to see any of the movies, I have to come on my day off, which is rare.

2) My definition of "good" and your definition of "good" are probably going to be vastly different. The gap widens depending on age difference.

So when you ask me what movies are good, and my response is "I don't know," and then you proceed to get angry when I keep repeating that answer to every question that follows about them, do not get angry with me and say "Do you actually even work here?"

Because I will mentally pummel you into the dirt.

[nametag-less]

Rude Customer: *complaining*

Me: Sorry Ma'am/Sir, there's nothing I can do.

Rude Customer: Well, that's ridiculous, blah blah blah

Me: Again, I'm sorry. I don't make the rules, I'm just doing my job...

Rude Customer: Blah blah blah complain complain complain I want to see a manager about them.

Me: *Looks them dead in the eye* I AM a manager.

Rude Customer: *silence*

Me: *stares expectantly*

Rude Customer: Well, you should change your policy *grabs things and walks away*

Me: *thinking* Yeah, that's right, you WALK away, fucker

[nametag-less]

New Pet Peeve

When a customer gets to the movie 20 minutes ahead of time, we are seating in the theater, and they wait in the lobby for no reason with concession empty.

Cue 5 minutes before the movie starts and 60 people in line before they get up and get in line, then complain to me about how they're missing their movie.

Yes, because it's my fault you waited out here for no reason before a line at concession formed before you decided to get off your lazy ass...

[nametag-less]

If you're one of those people who make a huge puddle of soap on the counter and leave it there, then there is a special place in hell for you.

[9gag]

[note-inthepages-deactivated2014]

Accurate post is accurate.

[datrump-deactivated20170405]

Reminds me of the time a lady told me whip doesn’t melt. Or a guy yelled at me for not understanding him/hearing him because he kept talking on the phone

[thegirlinthesea-deactivated2015]

Lame

[yeahmicah]

For those in retail.

[tamtoee]

I worked in a Lil Caesars and a woman came in and wanted a sausage pizza with no sausage, but got mad when she was given a cheese pizza.

[mulderhatesqueequeg-deactivated]

So when I worked at fitting room in Old Navy, a woman told me that a medium top was too small, and that the large top was too large. So she asked me to find her an “x-medium”. Old Navy carries x-small, small, medium, large, x-large, 1x, 2x and 3x. There is no “x-medium”. But she insisted, so I went and found her an “x-medium” (which was just a medium in a different color but the same top, same make, same EVERYTHING) and she goes very happily, “THIS! THIS FITS ME PERFECTLY! THANK YOU SO MUCH! See, you can do anything you can set your mind to!”

[winmu]

I’m a waitress at a big fancy resort, and once a woman asked me for a diet water and when I told her there was no such thing she demanded to see my manager (who then also promptly told her there was no such thing and brought her regular water). Another occasion of stupidity occurred when a woman had been brought a steak cooked too much for her liking. I offered to take it back and bring her out a new one, cooked a little less, and she said “NO this one’s fine I just want you to cook THIS one a little less.” I then had to get the chef and have him explain why you can’t UNCOOK a steak.

[novitasnovus-deactivated2014030]

When I was working at dunkin donuts there was this woman in the drive-thru who asked for a lightly toasted croissant and then started complaining that the croissant was warm. And wanted her money back, so she gave me the croissant back and I gave her the money and then she tells me “now i want my new croissant” she wanted a new one for free and as she was screaming at me this guy in a biker gang covered in tattoos leans over the counter in the store and yells “ma’am let me just tell you what we’re all thinking. fuck off, you stupid ****.” I couldn’t stop laughing and she drove away in anger.

[mysteampunkheart]

Most of the people like in the stories above know that they’re being totally irrational, but also know that if they complain enough they’ll most likely get something free or discounted. So really most of the the nonsensical fucks are actually just cheap fucks with no shame or respect for people.

[failedhellos-blog]

That last bit of commentary though.

[doctorwhooters]

I once had a lady come in and ask for a Venti Americano with two add shots, no water, and then steamed milk. I looked at my manager like “is this lady for real” I told the lady that the drink she was ordering was a Venti Latte with 4 add shots. She was complaining so much about how expensive that made it that my boss gave her the drink for free to which she got even more pissed like we were treating her like a charity case. There was more arguing and stuff but this definitely wasn’t the first time someone tried to cheat the system.

[frequentlynotonboats-deactivate]

My favorite is when people will order iced espresso in a vent cup without “too much” ice and extra milk. Or you could order an iced latte? Or having us split a vent frappuccino into two cups. People are cheap assholes and the fact that we continuously give them what they want for being assholes isn’t much incentive to stop.

[nametag-less]

At work once, we had one theater playing multiple movies for a week. Which meant that the last show of the night for that theater was something different than the show before it. About three different groups of people came in for the last show, and sat through the entire 2 hour long movie. When I went in to check to make sure that everything was fine with the movie, it was still on previews, which is fine, and the monitor on the projector said that the movie was the correct movie. After the movie was over, every single person came out and demanded their money back because it was the wrong movie but yet no one came out to tell any of us that the movie wasn't correct. Why would we give you your money back? You sat through an entire movie and never once said anything about it being different from the one you wanted to originally see!

[nametag-less]

Customer: *watches me fill extra large cup with ice and all the way to the top with pop*

Customer: I'm sorry, I wanted no ice...

Me: *enthusiastically* It's okay, not a problem

Me: *internally murdering you a thousand times with a dull spoon and some electricity*

[nametag-less]

NERDS

THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE. THEY GET EVERYWHERE!

[nametag-less]

Please stop asking me if I've seen the movies yet.

Chances are high that I have not because I've working for the past how-many days since the damn thing came out. No, we do not get to see the movies ahead of time. Yes, I have to come in on my days off to see the movies.

Stop making me feel like a loser and please just go on about your business silently.

[nametag-less]

For the love of all that is holy, please do not ask me "Do you ever get tired of this music?" or "How much does the music bother you, being on repeat?" No, it doesn't bother me, and no, I don't get tired of it. After listening to it every day for ten hours, one learns to tune out that shit.

[nametag-less]

Dear old people,

When you come up to the concession stand and stand, not in line, but right next to the person who I am currently serving, I will not stop and pay attention to you. I am working with another person at the moment, and will not drop everything just to serve your impatient ass. You are not entitled to just cut in front of other people and demand my attention. You can wait in line just like everyone else. And no, I do not care that you are late to your movie. You are not more important than the person who is here right now and actually waited in line to order something.

[supersecretstanaccount1-deactiv]

Dedicated to all my fellow retail employees

[nametag-less]

Also applies to movie theaters.

[nametag-less]

Yes, what part of "If you don't have a ticket, I can't let you in the theater" don't you understand?

Any excuse of "I just want to make sure they're settle", "I'll be right back out", "I want to see where they're sitting", or any other variation of the sort will not soften my cold, unrelenting heart.

Unless you show me a ticket with that movie's theater number on it, YOU AREN'T GETTING IN THAT THEATER.

You can bitch and whine and complain and make insults until your mouth bleeds, but I will not let you pass.

I'm just doing my job, I don't make the rules.

[nametag-less]

When you ask for a icee, and I correct you and ask "Do you mean slush puppy?" and you say yes, do not come back up a few minutes later and then say "this isn't what I wanted" or "this is too watery". An icee is not a slush puppy. We do not have icee's. That is why I corrected you when you originally asked for one.

So it is not. My. Fault.

[nametag-less]

Can someone please tell me how, exactly, grown women MISS the toilet when going to the bathroom?

Because, seriously, I just don't understand it.

Or how in the world they also manage to get water ALL OVER THE PLACE when washing their hands.

I mean, the MEN'S bathroom isn't as gross as the women's.

What. The. Fuck.

[checkoutgirlconfessions]

Customer Service: It Gets Worse.

Oh. My. Gosh. If you haven’t seen this yet, watch it. So accurate it’s almost physically painful. 

[nametag-less]

"Do you have hotdogs?"

"No, sir, just normal movie theater snacks."

"Do you have hamburgers?"

"Um... No."

"WELL WHY NOT I WANT A HAMBURGER, I WANT SOME MEAT WHILE I WATCH MY MOVIE!"