Part of my trauma that led to PTSD was isolation. I lived in the country away from other people, my ex made sure I had no transportation, I didnāt go anywhere without him, I never got to see my people, I never really got to be a part of the world. He even told me he didnāt want me working so I couldn't even socialize at a job. I sat all day alone in the woods counting down the hours til heād come home to yell or belittle me just so I could hear the sound of another human voice.Ā
After Finally getting up the courage to divorce him, it took some effort to relearn how to be social and a lot of work to get over the fear and anxiety. But I made great progress. until ...
Enter 2020. Self isolate, donāt go out in public, stand 6ft apart, donāt shake hands donāt hug, donāt touch anyone, avoid groups, avoid friends, stay away from family, donāt even see people while shopping for groceries buy online and arrange contactless pick up,Ā stay at home. Socializing is dangerous!Ā
Yeah, I got triggered.Ā
Iām realizing now just how far that pushed me back. I started getting into that mindset again. Wait for the husband to get home to hear a voice. Donāt leave. Sit there in your cave, your safe little prison. People are scary. Anxiety and depression started to set in, Hard.Ā
Iām vaccinated now, the world has reopened, Iām almost mobile again (unrelated car issues), and life is returning to normal, but Iām not back to normal yet. So much was brought back, thereās so much work to do now. And I donāt even know where to start...Ā