Let’s do Kakashi/Iruka (for all those who are probably more than a little pissed that I haven’t updated “Hadopelagia” in over a year)
who the fuck put the peeps in the microwave: Kakashi brings home a strange variety of things from his travels, usually trinkets found in family-owned shops or food. The oddest of the lot has to be the package of soft, squishy candy in the shape of rabbits and birds. Iruka tries one once and is pretty content to never let another one near his mouth again. And while he’d never judge Kakashi for it, he’s pretty sure they’re not supposed to go in the microwave. Or if they are, they’re probably not supposed to come out looking like that. who forgot to put the cat outside before sex: ”Trust me, it doesn’t care about seeing your admittedly gorgeous ass,” Kakashi mutters, clutching his purring parcel closer lest anyone try to take it.
From where he’s huddled under the covers, Iruka snaps, “If you want to so much as see said gorgeous ass ever again, you’ll put it outside!”
There’s a long moment of silence punctuated by the sounds of the door sliding open, a startled yowl, and the door sliding shut with a decisive slam. “Well, when you put it that way…”
who posts vines of the other doing embarrassing shit: Iruka watches the loop of Kakashi frantically running from a swarm of hornets with a thoughtful twist to his lips and then decides that Boruto might be onto something. Smirking, he entitles it #thegreatcopynin.
who breaks the most phones: Naruto.
who dies first: When the time comes, Kakashi makes sure the day is the best of his life. They sleep in late, rising when the sun is high in the sky, and indulge in a truly ridiculous lunch: roasted chicken, succulent and bulging dumplings, expensive saké from the mountains warmed to perfection. They walk in companionable silence alongside the river near the house as the sun sinks below the treeline, and when the first stars come out above the hill on which they lie and watch, Kakashi murmurs, “We had a good run.”
”Thank you. For everything.”
”I’ll see you again, brat. Until then, I declare the contract fulfilled.” And Pakkun inhales once more–sweet, night air and the familiar scents of well-loved books and chakra–before letting go.
Iruka cries for weeks. which one I could see as being lactose intolerant: The new ice cream shop that stands in the place where Ichiraku once stood boasts incredible flavors and combinations, but none of them are worth the time Iruka will spend on the toilet.who thinks they can do something really well even though they can’t: ”I don’t know why you say teaching’s so hard.” Kakashi says with a shrug. “I think I did just fine.”
The Academy burns for three days before they manage to put the flames out. who is more likely to get kicked out of the bed: You’d think the great Copy-Nin would’ve cloned a fixed septum at some point during his travels, but no. There isn’t a silencing jutsu strong enough to combat Kakashi’s epic snores. Iruka hasn’t slept in a month and is starting to hallucinate. He can smell time.who uses the computer most: Iruka buys it to cut down on grading time and to give his poor hand a rest from all the writing, but Sai of all people is the one that introduces the idea of “internet porn” to Kakashi. Kakashi, who is so mortified by the four seconds of sweaty, naked skin on screen, chidori’s it through a wall.
And that is the story of how Iruka eventually got arthritis in his dominant hand.
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