Ino: You fucked him, didn’t you?
Sakura: He showed up at my house with tacos, rum, and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret freaking Thatcher!
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@narutotfln
Ino: You fucked him, didn’t you?
Sakura: He showed up at my house with tacos, rum, and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret freaking Thatcher!
8-year-old Inojin: I need more time to make my Christmas list.
Ino: You already gave me your Christmas list?
Inojin: That was just the first page.
Ino: It's a multi-volume work??
4-year-old Sarada: Look what I'm doing!
Sasuke : What are you doing?
Sarada: Being cute.
Sakura: Oh no! She's becoming self-aware.
7-year-old Boruto: Happy birthday! How old are you?
Naruto: .....
Boruto: Well?
Naruto: Hold on. I'm doing math.
Interviewer: What did you bring to the table?
Naruto: Well at my last job I brought a lot of enthusia-
Interviewer: NO what did you just put on my desk
Naruto: Oh you mean my toad.
🐸
5-year-old Sarada: Want to watch me do a new justu?
Sasuke: Who taught you a new justu?
Sarada: No one. Girls just know.
Sasuke: ?????
Sasuke: Bro I banged Sakura last night on our basement couch.
Itachi: I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity!" They gave you a standing ovation.
Ino: Why did I make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
Sakura: You tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didn't make those you tried to summon ANBU.
Sasuke: Act your age.
Naruto: I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Sasuke: Instead of texting me to come over, Sakura just sends me a batman symbol.
Naruto: I don't care if you think she's just a booty call. Marry her.
Ino: Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Naruto: (To Sakura) Good news, I've got tacos! Bad news, Sasuke's in the ER. More good news, the tacos were free!
Sakura: Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Ino: Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Sasuke: *texting* Real quick, what's our antique sword budget?
Sakura: Don't.
Sasuke: Is that more or less than $678.99?
Tsunade: Why don't you trust me?
Shizune: You almost came home with another pig today.
Tsunade: ALMOST.
Naruto: Where the fuck is Kiba, he hasn't answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Shikamaru: Dude Kiba died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Naruto: Holy shit r u serious? How?
Shikamaru: Just kidding, but I'm pretty sure he boned Hinata and doesn't want to talk to you.