I need to spend time with more dudes.
Had enough of girls? I didn't think you could!
Monterey Bay Aquarium
ojovivo
KIROKAZE
almost home
No title available
Misplaced Lens Cap

titsay

izzy's playlists!
Cosmic Funnies
No title available
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
Mike Driver
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

★
sheepfilms

⁂

Kaledo Art

Janaina Medeiros
No title available
seen from Canada
seen from United Kingdom

seen from Singapore
seen from Brazil

seen from Indonesia

seen from Romania
seen from Türkiye
seen from Indonesia

seen from Chile
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States

seen from Singapore

seen from Brazil
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Chile

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
@natalia-edwards
I need to spend time with more dudes.
Had enough of girls? I didn't think you could!
Well packing's all done.
His brows were knitted together, not knowing what to do. His breaths were shaky as he contemplated telling her. I wish I never fell in love with someone else, he thought painfully.
No sooner than he’d thought of it, he realized he actually said it out loud, the last word ringing in his ear. “I…” he whispered quietly, not knowing what to say. Despite how much he wanted to take it back, the truth of it was hard to deny. He wished for the simpler days where it was just him and Nat. He swallowed nervously. The seconds seemed to turn into hours and it seemed like it would never end. He stood with bated breath as he waited for Nat’s reaction.
Her breath caught in her throat.
He couldn't have said that he- But he had. The astonishment was plastered all over her face and she couldn't force it away. She couldn't find her voice, it took her a few seconds, but she found it eventually, after fighting of the blockage in her mind that was hiding her words. "So you do. Love her," she said in a quiet tone--the sound of utter defeat. It was certain now that she couldn't turn things around if she had even the smallest desire to do so. She didn't want him back at all--or near her--when she would feel like he was- tainted. He wasn't hers anymore, not even one inch of him, and after so long it still bothered her that even his hands had been lying the last time he'd touched her. "You don't have to say that... for my sake." Speech was still difficult, her words spoken low, but she felt she had to say it. "You don't have to pretend to want that."
Oh. Well, I can’t say that I watch Gone With the Wind in my free time, but as long as it’s fun for you, I guess. I usually prefer things that I can do outside but since it’s practically freezing out it makes it a bit hard.
You and Tate are a lot alike, I can see it now. Though, you’re probably a bit more… social than her.
Yeah, the cold does limit your options there. January's only just starting too, so it might take a while before it's a decent day out to have fun outdoors.
Yeah, well, she's very particular about the people she likes to be around. Tate isn't exactly easy to get to know, but she's lovely once you do.
Well packing's all done.
"Look, I—I’m sorry!" he exclaimed, stumbling over the words. It came out louder than he meant to, a tinge of frustration coloring his words. "What do you want me to say? That you deserve better than this? That I shouldn’t have done what I did? That I wish I—" he cut himself off, biting on his tongue hard enough that he could taste the familiar bitter tang of blood in his mouth, to stop the words spilling from his mouth. He ran his hand through his hair, muttering a curse under his breath. He didn’t want her to feel anything more for him than contempt. But things rarely ever went as planned with her. He wanted to tell her that there was hardly any right words reserved for these situations but he held back. He wanted her to see that he was an absolute monster, that she was getting the best possible deal from this.
She cringed at the weight and volume of his words; she had made him angry again. If she thought she'd feel better once she heard it, she'd been wrong; she felt worse. Did she want to forgive him? No, she didn't think so. Trying to for the words was difficult, and it was then clear she wasn't yet prepared to forgive him- even if she wanted to- so she took a different direction and indulged her curiosity to numb everything else.
"That you wish you what, Alex?" That she hadn't found out he'd been falling for someone else? It seemed likely, and it pained her. "You know- what I wish? I wish I were smart enough to get out of my head... but I'm not."
It's so strange...
Uhh, should I ask or..?
Soccer drills, I mean.
Yeah, haha.. S’all good.
It's not much of a happy story.
Oh, that sounds complicated. At least for someone who never really was too good at sports- except tennis.
I guess I’m just one of those people who has to be doing something at all times.
Aw, that sucks. I know you’re friends with Tate though, and she’s has been gone forever. I’ve actually started to miss her rants about classical novels at three in the morning… though I do sleep better now.
So am I, but it's usually nothing typically considered as fun. It's boring old stuff for everyone else, like reading or watching old movies like Gone With the Wind.
I haven't been able to talk to her in a while, now that you mention it, but I think she'll be back soon enough and you'll start to rethink missing her rants.
It was a bit too quiet for me, honestly. It feels like I’ve done absolutely nothing over break so far, which is partly true, considering that my two best friends are still gone visiting their families. It’s rough.
Well it is called a break so doing nothing is the main activity- but I know what you mean. I'm not waiting for anyone though; this is as exciting as it gets for me.
It's so strange...
Definitely, you just gotta spend even just a little time away from this place or you lose yourself.
Yeah, well I don’t really hang ‘round Trinity a lot..I’m usually at Bradford or on the field doing some drills.
Oh really, what, I mean..no, it’s nice. It really is. You know what? Don’t listen to me, I honestly have no idea what the hell I was saying, I just took that ‘edgy’ shit from this show I saw. I really don’t even know what that means. All I’m sure of’s you’re rocking the hair..yeahh.
I usually don't mind being here, but this time I think I might have gone crazy if I didn't go home for a bit.
Drills?
No,no! I didn't meant it was a bad thing! It's just that I didn't really consider it might look that way, or meant for it to do so. But thanks, Olivia.
Thank god people are finally getting back from their trips. There was absolutely nothing to do here over break.
I'm glad everyone's coming back too. As much as I liked the quietness of the school while it was emptier, I prefer to have people around.
It's so strange...
Sounds like a bummer, well at least you spent some time away from this place.
Really? Wow, so your hair’s been like that for some time now and I just noticed. It’s nice though, takes off a bit of the sweetness from you. It’s..what do they call it? Edgy? Yeah, edgy.
Yeah. Not enough but at least some.
I guess that means we don't see each other all that often, even if we live in the same dorm. And thank you; I didn't intend for it to have that effect but I don't really mind.
Cheers to Hot Chocolate || Natalia and Stephen
When Stephen started to move her so that was lying down—that’s when she knew she no longer had a choice. So she let him set her down and tuck her into bed like the helpless child she felt like. At some other time she might have felt embarrassed, or at least uncomfortable, but it felt good to be taken care of instead of the other way around. A vague smile spread across her lips as she forced her eyes open to look at him.
“Let’s not make this hard for the two of us, okay? Go to sleep.”
She didn’t want to oblige, but only because she was already tucked in and probably seconds away from drifting into a deep sleep. The room went in and out of focus as her tired eyes did a poor job of seeing properly. Still, she managed to keep them trained on his face long enough to see that he was very amused. It didn’t bother her; Stephen clearly didn’t mean any harm.
"Thank you," she said, her words coming out in an inevitable mumble again. Natalia was sure how much she would remember in the morning—the medicine might be too strong and she might already be too sleepy—but she was grateful for his attentions. Though a tiny feeling of guilt did nag at her in the back of her mind—after all, Stephen had had to suffer the annoyances of her sickness, even if just for a bit—she knew it was the right thing to do. And, well, if it wasn’t, she’d made a good job of convincing herself. She didn’t care what anyone else thought of the matter—Stephen was her friend. She would even be selfish about it and not care whether he considered her the same, because she’d been through those ‘friendships’ enough times and frankly, she didn’t even mind this time. She liked Stephen and he treated her well, and she would be his friend whether he wanted her or not.
“Good night?”
"Good night, Stephen."
“You’re welcome.” He said, admiring her fighting spirit. A sick Stephen would have spent the entire day tucked underneath the sheets and talking only to make demands to whoever was watching over him, if there was any.
“Good night, Stephen.” He happened to be straightening the folds of her blanket, as she just literally curled in them, when the words reached his ears. Suddenly remembering an incident where Stephen fell asleep while Nat lectured about the French revolution, he opened his mouth for an inside joke but found out she had already fell in a deep slumber. He got his cup of hot— now warm chocolate on top of her table and sat on the edge of the bed. His shoulders were hunched as he finished his drink, enjoying the calming silence. A few minutes later he found himself texting Alexander with her phone, trying his best to make his message look as ‘Nat’ as possible.
Stephen waited for the reply in deafening silence, his eyes blank on the finished wall, forming imaginary shapes out of the decorative pattern. Thirty minutes passed and he was almost sure he was going to sleep on the floor in case Nat wakes up choking with sickness. He put the empty cup back on the table and eased himself on the cold floor while waiting for the drowsiness.
Bad case scenario (Stephen thought as he tried to sleep): A random Trinity girl walks in, though with Nat’s unpopularity it was highly unlikely, assumes Stephen was spending the night in her room again and adds fuel to the already circulating gossips. He stood up and locked the door. Problem solved.
Worse case scenario: Nat’s roommate Harper, who undoubtedly has the room’s key, finds him on the floor without any evidence of tutoring and tells Alexander. Stephen reached for some of Nat’s books, opened them and scattered them around his place. Problem solved.
Worst case scenario: Alexander was out to some faraway place but received the text and was rushing back to the dorm as fast as possible (Stephen assumed he also shared the room’s key). He walks in and realizes that he stole N—
Another buzz from his pockets got his attention again. Stephen took his phone out and as realization hit him that his father was calling him again after six missed calls, any trace of drowsiness left his system. His eyes darted from Nat on the bed to the scattered books on her floor to the cups of hot chocolate on her table. Muttering a curse under his breath, he stood up, unlocked the door— only to lock it again once he closed it behind him as he got out, and ran outside Trinity. His breathing was ragged as he stood outside the dormitory, the cold latching onto his skin.
“What do you want this time, Roger?”
[closed]
Cheers to Hot Chocolate || Natalia and Stephen
”I don’t want to sleep…” Natalia’s words barely reached Stephen’s ears as she tried not to collapse on him. Stephen chuckled, aware that that girl was stuck in a hazy suspension of sleep and being awake. He made sure her lie down, not that she was in any state to oppose; her limbs felt heavy as lead as he straightened her feet and covered her with blankets. “Let’s not make this hard for the two of us, okay? Go to sleep.” He eyed the two cups of unfinished hot chocolate resting on top of her table. At least his efforts paid off.
A defeated sigh escaped her lips. "I know what you’re gonna say."
No, you don’t. Stephen wanted to disagree. Everyone thinks they do but no one truly does—except his best friends. No matter how hard he tries to hide it from them, Jude and Wes will always see through him. Nat, not so much. Or maybe she does, he can’t tell.
Stephen never understood the way he felt with her. Wanting to make sure she’s alright every time, slightly freaking out if she’s not and wanting to take care of her. Is it normal? Of course it is. He answered himself in his mind. He always felt that way with his two buddies—and his roommate too. Why, he wanted to know, was he starting to feel uncomfortable? The more he thought of it, the more he became conscious of how he looked to her. The more he saw her as a girl and not only as a tutor. Was he trying too hard as a friend?
The buzzing of his phone in his pockets distracted him from his thoughts. He dismissed it, knowing the vibration pattern was of a text’s, and turned back to Nat, a half smile on his lips. “Good night?”
When Stephen started to move her so that was lying down--that's when she knew she no longer had a choice. So she let him set her down and tuck her into bed like the helpless child she felt like. At some other time she might have felt embarrassed, or at least uncomfortable, but it felt good to be taken care of instead of the other way around. A vague smile spread across her lips as she forced her eyes open to look at him.
“Let’s not make this hard for the two of us, okay? Go to sleep.”
She didn't want to oblige, but only because she was already tucked in and probably seconds away from drifting into a deep sleep. The room went in and out of focus as her tired eyes did a poor job of seeing properly. Still, she managed to keep them trained on his face long enough to see that he was very amused. It didn't bother her; Stephen clearly didn't mean any harm.
"Thank you," she said, her words coming out in an inevitable mumble again. Natalia was sure how much she would remember in the morning--the medicine might be too strong and she might already be too sleepy--but she was grateful for his attentions. Though a tiny feeling of guilt did nag at her in the back of her mind--after all, Stephen had had to suffer the annoyances of her sickness, even if just for a bit--she knew it was the right thing to do. And, well, if it wasn't, she'd made a good job of convincing herself. She didn't care what anyone else thought of the matter--Stephen was her friend. She would even be selfish about it and not care whether he considered her the same, because she'd been through those 'friendships' enough times and frankly, she didn't even mind this time. She liked Stephen and he treated her well, and she would be his friend whether he wanted her or not.
“Good night?”
"Good night, Stephen."
It's so strange...
Yeah, well what’s happened to your holidays?
And I think you sorta had kind of long-ish hair.. Where is it?
I spent Christmas at my family's cabin back home, but I had to cut my trip short and head back here earlier.
I cut it a few weeks ago -- could be a month? -- so it's grown out just a bit.
It's so strange...
I know.. I hope everyone comes back soon, or I’m definitely going to lose it.
Oh, don't worry -- they'll start popping back up by no later than this weekend.
17, 27, 39, 57
17. Do you like kissing in public?
Already answered.
27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?
No, but it'd be nice.
39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn't have?
Yes...
57. Things you want to say to an ex.
There's a lot of things that I'd like to say, but I don't think saying them wouldn't do either of us any good. Except, maybe, telling him that I don't hate him. I sometimes wish I did- or that I at least could- but I don't think I can.
14, 17, 28, 33
14. Do you have a crush on anyone?
No. I'm still in love with someone.
17. Do you like kissing in public?
A simple, short kiss here and there is alright, but I don't like putting on shows for anybody. No snogging in public if that's what you're referring to.
28. Have you ever been cheated on?
I don't want to answer that.
33. Have you ever had sex with a man?
Yes.
11, 29, 35, 41, 61
11. Do you ever want to get married?
One day, yes.
29. Have you ever cheated on someone?
No!
35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?
Um... Once. It was the summer after freshman year when my family and I went on vacation with one of my father's colleagues and his son. He was just a year older than me, I think.
41. Have you had sex so far this year?
I don't see why that's any of your business, but yes.
61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?
Their smile- or their lips if they aren't smiling.