calculated chaos

Phase : During (The Event)

maxwellmehta‌:

His heart turned into stone, fell into his chest, stopped his breath at her words. What’s up, she said, so incredibly casually. How are you, she could have said, what’s your name again? she could have asked. Haven’t we met before? She’d used the same tone on strangers, on people she didn’t like but was forced to interact with. That special subset of people whose opinions mattered for some reason or the other despite the fact that Tali didn’t, to put it bluntly, give a single fuck about them.

Okay cool. Was she going to break up with him? After a year and some change, all because of, what? He hadn’t wanted to have sex with her when she’d made it clear to him that she didn’t want to have sex? Weren’t they supposed to be in love? Wasn’t that supposed to matter?

“Uh, nothing,” Max said, stumbling over his words. He’d planned this, roughly, except that mental outline flew out of his head. “I mean, except all of this. I just wanted to say hi. Feels like we haven’t talked the last couple of days. I missed you. I wanted to tell you.”

Max was so genuine, and kind, and sweet. He was one of the best people she had ever met. He was everything that she was not, and her heart hurt at the thought of causing him pain. And she was lucky enough that he’d fallen in love with her.

But. A little pain now was better than a lot later on. And she knew it was for the best. But it could wait just a little.

“I missed you too,” she said, softening her expression just the tiniest bit. Her walls were still up. He wasn’t allowed to get close. Being close meant that she would crumble, and then he would know.

She didn’t know what else to say. Didn’t know how to explain her absence, her obvious avoidance. He deserved something but she had nothing.

#004 #with: max #during

Phase : During (The Event)

tonyalessijunior·:

Tony held his tongue. Anybody. What about Max? He knew it was her decision. His mom had made that abundantly clear when it came to such scenarios. But he still found himself wondering what he would’ve wanted Fern to do. Not that it mattered in any way, shape, or form.

He was taken aback as she took his hand. He’d never seen Tali this vulnerable. Even when she’d hit on him all those years ago, it was clear that a rejection would be his loss. But she looked as if some part of her had collapsed. “Of course, T.” he said. “Do you um, need anything?” He thought back to his and Anu’s pharmacy raid. There had to be something in there that could help, right? With symptoms or whatever. “Do you have a doctor? My dad has a few people in the city. Very chill and secret and shit. Super nice too. They delivered me but she handles all of Trip’s shit so they’ve seen everything.”

Natalia shook her head. “No it’s okay,” she told him. “I have somewhere I can go. As soon as everyone comes back. Just as soon as possible. I’m going to get this taken care of,” she spoke quietly, hoping nobody would overhear. Everyone here was so drunk and stupid anyway they probably wouldn’t remember, but she wasn’t going to take any risks.

“Thank you, though. I just want this over so I can pretend it didn’t happen.” Tony was being ridiculously sweet and supportive right now, and a part of her was glad that he had asked. She might be able to handle anything that life threw at her, but did she have to do this alone? The way he was being with her right now told her no. It was okay to have support. And it was okay if it was Tony.

#005 #with: tony #during

Phase : During (The Event)

tonyalessijunior·:

“Britt taped it. Maybe Reg too. It’s somewhere. If you get it from her please text it to me.” That way he didn’t have to talk to her.

Tony blinked at her. “Shittttttt.” He watched Tali sit, slid the tequila bottle out of the way so he could lower himself next to her. He felt himself getting a little sick. Not necessarily from the alcohol but for her. As one might have expected when Fern was involved, the two of them had been fastidious about protection, but it felt like Max and Tali had been together pretty much since he’d let her down easy as a freshman. “I’m sorry.”

“Do you want me to pretend I didn’t ask? I’m very forgetful. I can drink more. It’s okay.”

Tali didn’t know what to say. She hadn’t planned on anybody finding out about this, so she’d never gone over her script in her head. All she knew was that she was sad, and that Tony was safe to know. He’d never been one to share things about her with other people before.

It was strange though, how much more real it was, now that someone other than her knew. Like she actually had to acknowledge it.

“Shit is right.” Natalia took a minute to process this, to try and decide what she wanted from him. “It’s okay,” she said after a minute. “I just... please keep it to yourself? Nobody knows, and I don’t want anybody else to find out.” She reached out and grabbed his hand, which was unusual for them. They never really touched at all. “Please, Tony.”

#005 #with: tony #during

Phase : During (The Event)

tonyalessijunior·:

“Damn, T, really?” Tony was disappointed, but he didn’t want to pressure her. He looped the bottle around behind his back, dropping it behind him on the pew. It was admittedly a semi-loud magic trick because his motor skills weren’t the best at the moment, but it still felt like magic so HA. He brought his arms wide. “And it’s gone.”

“I wouldn’t say he bowed so much as crumpled, but I think it turned out okay.” He grinned, glad someone actually understood his vision. “I really didn’t want to hit him, he was just being a douchebag, and the only douchebag allowed at my parties is me.”

He sighed. “You know I never thought I’d see the day the Tequila Queen wouldn’t do a shot with me. I’d ask if you’re pregnant but you always glow, so.”

“Sorry, T,” she replied, smiling apologetically. “Healthy life choices, you know?”

Tali smiled at the thought of Tony putting Gabe in his place. She hadn’t had a lot to do with the kid in the past, but religious people were usually judgy and rude and she had no time for that from him. That was her job. “I wish I had seen it. Did you get a video?” sighing wistfully, she hoped somebody had the sense to record it. It would be a waste if they hadn’t.

She had been about to comment on his unsurprising lack of injuries, but then he spoke instead. I’d ask if you were pregnant. Her face dropped and she froze. Tali knew he was only joking, but it was too on-the-nose. She fought to put the smile back on her face, to continue their banter, but instead she lowered herself down onto the pew. Why didn’t she just pretend to drink? Why did she have to make it so obvious that something was going on with her?

#006 #with: tony #during

Phase : During (The Event)

adamdanversroth·:

Adam was silent. They’d gotten outside and he had hoped the fresh air would help some. But it seemed to just make her feel worse. He still held her hand, frowning some. At least the smell was gone from the air, but somehow that was less comforting than it should have been. He wasn’t sure why she was crying though. She never seemed like the emotional type. Not that he knew her all that well. But from what he’d pieced together, she never let the mask drop.

But here she was, queasy and nauseated, crying without much provocation. “I’m gonna ask something and I don’t want you to get mad,” he said gently. He kept his tone calm and hopefully she would react well to that. “But are you pregnant?” He knew enough from context clues to put together a guess, and then what he’d learned off-hand from Sabine’s studying and stories about work. He knew he could be entirely off base but he wanted to ask.

Because if he was right, and if they were stuck here for awhile, they were going to need to figure out something. “Natalia?”

Tali’s walls immediately went up at his question. I don’t want you to get mad he’d said. And she wasn’t mad, exactly, but that was the last thing she expected to come out of his mouth. Who would have thought that Adam was observant?

Still, even though he was completely and painfully right, she didn’t want him to know that. She didn’t want anybody to know that.

When Adam spoke her name again she quickly let go of his hand like it had burned her. “Why would you ask me something like that?” she replied. Not an answer. But she couldn’t stand here a second longer. Natalia couldn’t answer any other questions. She couldn’t lie about this.

“Sorry I’m such a mess, Adam. I’ll see you later,” she replied, turning and walking back inside the church, hoping she could find somebody much less observant and much more drunk that she could pass the time with.

Phase : During (The Event)

tonyalessijunior·:

“MONTES!” Tony shouted across the room. He was maybe five beers in? Six? Something ill-advised. He hadn’t been like this in… ever? Probably ever. At least at an actual party rather than screwing around with the guys. It was considered gauche for the host to be too far gone, but he technically wasn’t the host tonight, was he? Really it was Gabe. And God. Couldn’t forget God.

He grabbed a bottle of tequila off the altar and hopped over one of the pews to land next to Tali. He held out the bottle. “Got it all warmed up for you and everything. Figuratively, I mean. Warm tequila is a no.”

Tali let herself smile as the Party King himself made his way over to her, tequila in hand. Normally she would be thrilled to get drunk and lose herself, but tonight was not a normal night. Still, the gesture warmed her cold heart, and she took it from him, holding it up to examine it.

“The good stuff,” she smirked at him. “I appreciate you thinking of me. If only I hadn’t recently taken a vow of sobriety,” she sighed dramatically, handing the bottle back to him. Tony was one of the few people in the world who could get her out of her own head, no matter what mood she was in. His drunken presence was a gift she desperately needed right now.

“I heard you got Roberts to bow,” she laughed a little, looking at the chaos around her. Drinking, drugs and excessive saliva swapping going on all around them. “Genius. Only you could pull this off, love.”

#006 #with: tony #during

Phase : During (The Event)

adamdanversroth·:

“That sucks,” Adam said, flinching some at his own understatement. “I mean, it’s too bad. Do you need something? Like some Pepto or a Tums?” He wasn’t entirely sure what to offer her, mostly if he was feeling sick like that he drank more water and tried to power through it or Sabine would whirlwind in with some home remedy that always seemed to work. He wished she were here now. She’d know what to do.

“Oh.” Max. He’d forgotten that she and Max were sort of together right now. “Hey, hey, it’s alright.” Adam was a little alarmed when she began to tear up but he didn’t run away, instead opting to move slightly closer. “There’s nothing wrong with you, Nat. A lot’s happening tonight and I don’t know what else is going on but coming back to find the entire town empty is enough stress for a lifetime.” Hesitantly, he reached a hand out to her, palm up. He didn’t want to force her into accepting anything more. If she wanted a hand to hold, he’d be there.

“Do you wanna step outside and get some air? You look a little flushed.”

“No, nothing helps,” she told him, shaking her head. She’d tried everything to try and settle the nausea, but it still remained.

Honestly, if her parents never came back Natalia would be fine. Sure, she might miss them a bit. But they were never around anyway. She was used to being self-sufficient, she had been since they came to this stupid place. But she knew that not everyone felt the same about that, that some people were genuinely cut up and worried about not being able to contact their families. And normally she wouldn’t give a shit about other’s feelings, but she knew it wouldn’t win her any points to verbalise any of this. Plus, Adam was being really nice.

Maybe some air would be what she needed. Natalia nodded, taking Adam’s outstretched hand and followed him outside. She tried to take some deep breaths, but whatever she was feeling just seemed to grow. She was fucking crying and she was powerless to stop it. Is this what pregnancy was like? Losing total control?

“I can’t believe this is happening,” she told him. She really couldn’t. About any of it. Max. The pregnancy. Crying... in front of Adam. Who was she right now?

Phase : During (The Event)

adamdanversroth·:

Adam smiled and nodded. “I try,” he said, batting his eyelashes a little before laughing. She was right, even if being at the party didn’t seem like the best option either. But here they both were. “I needed a distraction, too. It’s too quiet out there. Thinking too much.” Shrugging his shoulders, he motioned to the snack table. “Can I interest you in some of this fine… cuisine… we have laid out before us?” He knew how much effort Tony put into his parties, but calling one at last second, in a church of all places, probably made it more difficult to have the things he normally did. “Not Tony’s usual style but I guess it’ll do in a pinch.”

The entire high school population seemed to be crammed into the church despite it not being such a large building. When he got home though, he needed to bring up that the graffiti was gone now. No more ancient Hebrew warning about judgement.

“So, not to get too into your business, but what’d you need a distraction from?” he asked, watching some people across the room.

It was interesting how as soon as Tali had found out she was pregnant, the sickness started. Like the little parasite had just needed confirmation of its existence before it started to really shine. She had been trying to avoid any of the party food, the look and smell of it making her nauseous. But she was aggressively trying to ignore that. However, Adam’s pointing it out made her stomach churn. “No thanks, been kind of queasy lately,” she replied, trying to make it sound like less of a thing than it was.

She paused for a second, wondering what she could tell him. Natalia could go for the standard excuse, the entire town is missing why wouldn’t I need a distraction? But it actually wasn’t bothering her so much at present. Her parents were hardly home anyway, and it wasn’t like she was particularly attached to anyone that wasn’t currently here.

She decided to tell a half truth. “Max and I are going through a few bumps, I guess you could say,” she replied, her smile faltering a little. She was suddenly hit by a wave of something... sad? The mood swings were another amazing symptom of what was currently residing in her belly. “Sorry,” she apologised, feeling herself start to tear up. “God. What is wrong with me, seriously??”

Phase : During (The Event)

adamdanversroth·:

Adam hadn’t planned on going to the party until it was too late and he was already there. He skirted the outer edges of it, avoiding it’s host and all of the usual suspects. He really didn’t want to have to make small talk with anyone but it couldn’t be avoided for too long. He found there was literally nothing to drink but alcohol and sighed. He wanted to be sober tonight in case anything went wrong. Amelia needed him to be. So he declined a couple of drinks and made his way to where there were some sparse snacks. Nothing good stood out so he picked at what looked like a bowl of chips. Lame.

With a sigh, he looked around and watched all of his friends and classmates defile the sanctity of the church. Whenever Pastor Roberts came back, he was going to condemn them all to Hell. If he ever came back. “You clean up nicely,” he said idly when he saw Natalia get closer. She didn’t look like she was searching for anyone but at least she would be easy enough to talk to and not feel like he was forcing himself.

“So, what brings you out on this lovely night of sin? Other than the absence of every living soul in this town that wasn’t on our buses.”

Natalia was having a worse time than she intended on having. And she was only five minutes into this thing. Turns out, not being able to drink at a party just meant that you were bored. Drunk people were insufferable. She had always thought that being the sober one meant that you got to have fun watching everyone do dumb stuff and say whatever came into their heads. It was actually just annoying. Without Max next to her, people seemed to keep taking it as an invitation to talk to her. Was her sober face more approachable or something? She didn’t understand. Thankfully she did not need her boyfriend to be with her to tell people to fuck off, in a nice way, of course. But still. Annoying.

When Adam caught her attention, she relaxed a little. He was someone she could stand to talk to, so she made her way over to him. They tended to run with the same crowd, he was someone whose presence didn’t repulse her.

“Thank you, mister Roth, you look pretty nice yourself,” she smiled at his compliment, knowing it was true but always happy to hear it. “Sitting at home by myself while our entire school went to a party in a church didn’t seem like the best option.” Natalia shrugged. “And I needed a distraction. You?”

Phase : During (The Event)

#004 #with: max #during #hey someone reply to my para natalia needs to socialise bitches

maxwellmehta·:

Whatever the reason she was being standoffish with him, Max didn’t want to deal with it. He was panicking more and more every time his dad didn’t answer the phone, and where his girlfriend would have been the first person he would have talked to about it, she was just making it worse. There she stood, across the church, looking beautiful as ever, and they hadn’t really talked much since he’d taken her home a couple of days ago. Something had changed in the music room, or in the car ride after. Max couldn’t pinpoint what it was. Had she felt rejected? Did she think he had some kind of issue sleeping with her when she was on her period or something? That wasn’t the case at all.

He’d stopped her immediately, though, and he’d seen that pause for twenty seconds. Maybe thirty seconds. Maybe a lifetime. He’d hurt her and his words had sent her silently reeling, and she wasn’t telling him because? What?

Max couldn’t exactly march up to her during this kind of a party and discuss how they were in some kind of cold war because he’d turned down having sex with her on her period. Their parents were missing. He had to talk to her eventually, though, and every time he saw her throw back her head to laugh, he itched to go hear the joke. Put his hand at the small of her back, whisper that he loved her in her ear, offer to go take her some place private and make it up to her. Just the two of them. The pit of dread in his stomach kept him from doing exactly that, but Max did go up to her and touch her elbow lightly, asking permission to pull her away from the person she was talking to. “Hey, dude,” Max said, adding, “Nice shirt,” before turning back to Tali. “You wanna talk a quick walk with me, babe?”

Natalia had been trying not to watch Max, and failing miserably. She was talking to other people, trying to look like she was enjoying herself, a distraction at best. But she could tell you exactly where Max was at any given moment, who he was talking to, what he was doing. She had been so in tune with him for so long that it wasn’t something she knew how to stop doing anymore.

So when he approached her and gently touched her elbow, she knew he was coming probably before he even did. Natalia was hoping that it would be a bit longer before he worked up the nerve to find out what was going on with her, but apparently he was being brave today.

Giving an apologetic smile to the guy she was talking to, she nodded to him. The warmth that was usually between them wasn’t there right now, and she missed it more than she thought she would. “What’s up?” she asked him as they started walking, her voice too friendly, too happy.

Phase : During (The Event)

wewerechildrenrp·:

There was a time when the most stressful thing the students of West Ham High had to worry about was cabin assignments. All the usual tension and panic, the negotiations of who would give up which bunk for which hookup, it seems so small now. They boarded five buses in the late afternoon. Kissed / Hugged / Ignored their parents goodbye. Headed for the Smoky Mountains. Darkness descended, and sleep carried them away.

They woke to a lurch in the road, a curve taken a bit too fast. A grumble about a rock slide on the route. They all needed to go home. They disembarked. The buses sped away. Far too fast.

Far too fast.

The kids looked around. No parents. No siblings. No other living souls. No connection with the outside world.

What to do, what to do? Cry, search, fiddle while West Ham burns? For the first time, it’s up to them. And who knows if the sun will come.

So press play, and go.

Natalia was having the worst week of her entire life. First, she had found out that she was currently in the early stages of growing a fetus. Second, they had tried to take her on some mandatory school trip like she was three years old and couldn’t make her own choices. Third, that mandatory school trip had gone to hell and they were brought back. Fourth... this list was getting long. Fourth, it was like the fucking rapture had happened while they were gone and every person who lived in this town had suddenly gone. Fifth, there was currently an iconic Alessi party happening in the church of all places, absolutely brilliant, and Natalia couldn’t drink.

She didn’t know why she felt so strongly about the no-drinking, especially when she was not planning on staying pregnant any longer than she had to be. But the thought was still there. Still, regardless of her feelings, she was damned if she was going to sit alone in her huge house by herself while everyone she knew was having fun.

The thought occurred to her that she could have just hung out with Max, but she didn’t want to be near him until she got her little problem sorted out. She couldn’t risk him finding out.

So, decision made. Natalia dressed up like she would for any other West Ham party, and made her way to the church. Nothing was different, nothing was wrong. She just happened to take sobriety more seriously these days. Natalia made her way inside, impressed with how well they were doing at destroying the space. A smirk made its way onto her face at that. Only Tony.

#003 #open #during

Name: Natalia Montes Face Claim: Camila Mendes Played by: Tash Age: 17 Birthday: June 18 Family: Very rich workaholic parents who she rarely sees Friends: Tony, Anu, Finn, Amara, Trip, Adam, Lucy, Reg - popularity comes with many connections, albeit shallow ones Romances: In a relationship with Max, breakup pending Hobbies/Clubs/Social Circle: Popular kids

Natalia was the kind of person you didn’t want to mess with. 5′1 and packed full of personality, she could rip you to shreds with her words alone. Always armed with a pair of heels and a lipstick in her purse, she always did everything the way that she wanted to. After finding out that she is pregnant to her now ex-boyfriend Maxwell, she is ready to fight anybody that stands in the way of her getting what she wants. Especially if she’s going to be forced to be a mother. Having something new to fight for has only given her more of an edge. More of a reason to stay alive and protect what belongs to her. Screw Fern and her rules, Natalia is her own person and she won’t be told what she can and can’t do.

Follow Natalia here!

#bio

character moodboard: natalia montes

#moodboard #me

positively pregnant | solo para

Natalia hadn’t slept more than a wink, her mind hadn’t stopped running the entire night. Every time she managed to fall asleep she would dream about her growing belly, buying tiny baby clothes, changing diapers. She woke with a start every time, and eventually gave up at around 2am.

She grabbed her keys and headed to the closest 24-hour store that sold pregnancy tests. Her plan had originally been to go straight to the doctor and find out there, but she needed something to keep her from going completely crazy before then. Leaving the store with five digital early detection pregnancy tests, she felt slightly more in control of the situation.

It wasn’t until the encounter today with Max that she realised that she actually hadn’t had her period for two months now. She didn’t know how she could have missed that. Natalia was meticulous, but somewhere along the line she hadn’t been. And now she was in the biggest mess of her life.

She headed straight for her bathroom the moment she arrived home, deciding she was going to take all five of the tests she had bought in case one of them was faulty or something. The act of peeing on a stick was more humiliating than she imagined it would be, especially on her own. Realistically, it was probably more to do with the fact that she was even having to do this in the first place.

The test told her that she had to wait five minutes before the result would show. She couldn’t just wait in the bathroom for something to happen. So she went back into her room, grabbing her phone and checking it for the millionth time that night. Natalia kept thinking that Max somehow knew this was happening, she kept waiting for the phone call or the message to come through that would call her out. But it didn’t. A part of her wished it would.

After the time had passed, she went back into the bathroom. Closing her eyes, she prayed to a God that she had no previous reason to speak to until this very moment. “Please God. Don’t let me be pregnant,” she whispered, opening her eyes and looking at the pregnancy test.

“PREGNANT 7-8.” It read in bold black letters, the numbers estimating how many weeks along she was.

Natalia’s legs seemed to lose all strength as she sunk to the floor. Her heart had never felt so heavy in her entire life. Quickly checking the other four tests, they all said the same thing. She was definitely pregnant.

She sat there on the floor in shock, not moving for at least an hour. Natalia was pregnant with Max’s baby. And she only knew two things for sure. The first, was that she was not going to be a mother anytime soon. And the second, was that Max was never going to find out about this.

#002 #before #solo

before “it” happened