[nate-arden]

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this is the starting of my fall from grace my self esteem, oh it's seen better days but you know I'll never let this go to waste i'll keep this memory on the map I trace back to home

[90stvqueen]

taylor swift in the style of e.e. cummings

[nate-arden]

i remember when we broke up

the first time saying, “this is it, i’ve had enough,”

‘cause like we hadn’t seen each other in a month when you

said you

needed

space

                                     what

[james-stark-blog]

One Love ♦ Nark

[nate-arden]

Tagged → Nate and James

Time→ Thursday at some time?

Location→ Stark’s Place

Notes→ Fffffff.

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[nate-arden]

 james-stark:

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Nate wishes he could provide Stark with a definite timeline, an exact date when acceptance and healing will finally set in...but there's simply no way to know for sure. Your entire being has to adjust to a world where this person no longer exists. For some, it takes only a few months. For others, years. And then, he fears, that maybe there are those who are incapable of fitting into such a world. Maybe the pain of trying is enough to keep them from wanting to.

These thoughts are quieted the moment Stark speaks again, and he's thankful for the briefest moment before the tears that follow bring about a new array of fears. "I know." Nate's voice is barely audible, all of the things he knows he should say once again being replaced by the only things he can. "I know-- I'm so sorry."

[james-stark-blog]

One Love ♦ Nark

Tagged → Nate and James

Time→ Thursday at some time?

Location→ Stark’s Place

Notes→ 

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[nate-arden]

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[james-stark-blog]

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[nate-arden]

Assuming that the scene before him couldn't possibly be made worse was foolish, and it's apparent as soon as Stark speaks. His tone is strained, hollow and just as difficult to recognize as his surroundings. Nate attributes a large part of this to the alcohol, the bottles he spotted on the way in leading him to believe there is a great deal more in his system than any one person should be able to handle. But that other part, the part he still remains in the dark about...he knows that's not something that will simply wear off with rest and rehydration. It's something that's bound to last.

Nate rises from the couch almost immediately after Stark does, though if he notices, he gives no indication. His eyes never leave him, watching helplessly as he makes an unsteady entrance into the kitchen and returns almost as quickly as he left. The fact that he feels he should be cleaning is nothing short of ridiculous. He wants to protest, to tell him that he isn't company, that the standard rules simply don't apply, but he says nothing. At least this distraction isn't as detrimental as the one he's finding at the bottom of a bottle. 

Finally advancing, he intends to aid the clean up mission, but stops short as the cause he had momentarily given up on is identified. He listens as Stark recounts the events of the previous night, the distress in his tone nothing compared to the anger that follows. Even if Nate wanted to interject, it wouldn't matter. No good would come of it. Words can't fill the void that loss creates. With new light shed on the subject, it's not difficult to see why the night before played out the way it did. There is no proper way to mourn, of this he is absolutely certain. It wasn't too long ago that Nate received the news of his mother passing. He hadn't the slightest idea how to deal with it, so he didn't. The trip home, the funeral, and the days that followed are still a giant blur. He did what he had to in order to cope, and while Stark is taking a different approach, the effect is all the same in the end.

It's probably wise to keep the distance between them as it is, to allow the venting process to continue without a hitch...but no one has never accused Nate of being wise. Maybe Stark doesn't wish to face him, maybe he doesn't wish to face anyone, but he no longer has a choice. Moving to take his face in his hands, Nate manages to catch his gaze. "Listen to me. You are not alone in this. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. I didn't know your grandmother, but I didn't have to in order to know that it would break her heart to see you like this. It hurts like hell , I know it does, but it won't always be this way. I promise you, Stark...it won't feel this way forever."

[james-stark-blog]

One Love ♦ Nark

Tagged → Nate and James

Time→ Thursday at some time?

Location→ Stark’s Place

Notes→ Hey, Alex. I'm really proud of you. 

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[nate-arden]

Maybe there isn’t a permanent cure for laziness, but worry certainly serves as a temporary one. Typically, Nate would have taken his sweet time getting to Stark’s place, carefully re-counting the cracks in the ceiling before even attempting to rise from his bed. But today is decidedly different. Today, his focus is solely on his destination. All potential distractions can’t possibly keep him from seeing the big, painfully obvious picture. Something is very wrong. 

In vain, Nate struggles to connect the scattered dots he obtained from the brief conversation he had with Stark. His body seems to be on autopilot, making up for a lack of mental presence with effortless physical consciousness, guiding him through the necessary motions in order to depart and safely arrive in record time. On the way over, countless causes are sighted for one very surreal effect, but not one of them manage to satisfy. If he's convinced of anything, it's that satisfaction will come only with answers. But as he reaches the front door, a sudden hesitance to learn the truth arrises and clashes with his desperation to. It's a battle that doesn't last long, the victor obvious as he lets himself in, pausing only to shut the door behind him.

Nate knows this place well. It feels more like home than any place before it. This realization frightened him at first, as most realizations pertaining to Stark did, but at some point the fear he felt began to subside. What took its place was a contentment he couldn’t quite bring himself to question. Walking through this place now, however, the aftermath of the previous night demanding his attention…it no longer feels like home. It’s cold and nearly unrecognizable, the warmth he had become so accustomed to vanishing in an instant. It’s heart-wrenching in its own right, but it’s nothing compared to the feeling that overwhelms him the moment he spots Stark. In this moment his heart doesn’t just sink, it plummets.

All of the questions he had no longer demand answers, because the cause he obsessively sought no longer matters. The only answer he now desires is how to fix what is so obviously broken. As he takes a seat beside Stark, he's all too tempted to immediately grab and dispose of the bottle in his hands. Unfortunately, despite temptation, he knows this isn't an option. The last thing he wants to do now is fight, and until he learns just where Stark's head is at, he knows it isn’t wise to act on impulse.

“I really wish you had made it to my place last night.” It's not what he wants to say. It's certainly not what he planned. It's simply all he can manage as the guilt he feels for not stopping what he’s currently witnessing becomes unbearable.

[james-stark-blog]

I tried to make it to your place, but I was too scared to drive so I started walking and ended up passing out a few blocks over. Just got home a couple of hours ago.

[nate-arden]

Okay.

I'm coming over. I have a lot of questions. Including, but not limited to, what the hell happened to your phone?

[crank-palace-deactivated2015022]

[supernovasugarmotta]

I think this is where I’m supposed to apologize. 

My pinky is fine considering that it was actually broken. It’s in a splint but I guess if I ever fall in dance class I shouldn’t use my right hand to try and break my fall. 

[nate-arden]

If that's truly the case, this is where I debate offering my forgiveness.

So...what should you use? 

[supernovasugarmotta]

You mean more hurt than your pinky?

[nate-arden]

The pain doesn't even compare. How is your pinky faring? ...And how did you manage to break it in the first place? 

[supernovasugarmotta]

Real mature Natey. Whateva mockery is the best sense of flattery.

[nate-arden]

That wasn't mockery. I was merely informing you of a serious issue. An issue you clearly couldn't care less about.

I am hurt.

[nate-arden]

Visit Original Link

[lilmisstrinaa]

Nate, baby..

[james-stark-blog]

I did read the rule book, but apparently you didn’t read the fine print. It says, and I quote: ‘This rulebook is hereby declared null and void when Nathaniel Arden and only Nathaniel Arden references it.’

Nah, I don’t think yuck really fits. 

[nate-arden]

...I hate rules. They're more like guidelines anyway.

Think of a better word on your way over and let me know what you've come up with when you arrive.

[lilmisstrinaa]

Nate, baby..

[james-stark-blog]

And I already rejected you. You can’t double reject. 

Seems as if your in luck, I can help you become unstuck. Or possibly push you further into your ruck when we—what’s that word?

…

..

Oh yes, fuck. 

[nate-arden]

Did you even bother to read the rule book? Double dismissals are to be immediately rejected. Double rejections will be accepted until the 23rd of July.

...Yuck.

[lilmisstrinaa]

[nate-arden]

[lilmisstrinaa]

The fuck bruh..

[nate-arden]

[lilmisstrinaa]

Nate, baby..

[james-stark-blog]

Dismissed.

This is a ploy isn’t it? You’re too lazy to bring your elderly ass over here. I am crestfallen. 

[nate-arden]

I already dismissed you. You can't double dismiss. 

It most certainly is not. I couldn't move if I tried. I am as stuck as a duck in a...ruck.

[lilmisstrinaa]

Nate, baby..

[james-stark-blog]

Denied.

Don’t tell me to not tell you what to do, Nathaniel. This is my mouth and I will speak whatever words I wish. I mean, unless you’d like to shut me up.  

[nate-arden]

Rejected.

I'd love to...but I'm afraid I can not. You see, I've fallen and I can't get up.