#AE Musings for my personal posts, poems, thoughts, feelings, and otherwise unrelated to anything else. These are longer than one line at random throughout the day.
#Angela posting for uh posting about Angela. Ranging from small observations, opinions, to longer more analytical writing.
There might be some NSFW but I have not yet tagged any. It's extremely rare but still possible.
Not (properly) tagged posts are about a variety of things. Most prominent are of lighthearted topics, but there will be heavier and more important topics. You will see matters concerning transfeminism.
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What you find in this blog is terms of original posts is talking about thoughts I had, something I felt and wanted to express it, and sometimes, some kind of take on a piece of media (not as interesting as it may sound).
In terms of reblogs, it's whatever. Scroll for 10 seconds and you'll see.
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My ko-fi if you feel like being nice. Steam friend code 59507888.
Some colors under the cut. (Personal stuff and assorted things of other nature yet intrinsically the same)
You -can- call me Angela, it is my name, but if you find that confusing (considering the context of this blog), then you can simply address me by my url or by AE.
No, I don't kin her. The explanation is much simpler (she's simply very personally important) and yet extensive (I'd have to start from early life experiences to how I happened to develop as an adult). People, however, have kin assigned me in a way (in a jest and otherwise).
I do relate to her, and I've been told we share certain traits, but it takes a second looking through this blog to see we are quite different people. The primary thread of connection is in experiences and reactions to them.
I will include an index of my analyses here at some point. The #Angela Posting tag is small enough at the moment to not really inconvenience those that want to have a read, but it would still be cleaner to have it all in one place.
I am, regardless, very fixated. Haven't scared anyone with it yet, I think, and at least one person finds it endearing-
So, I'll just continue.
I'd like to clarify, too, that I have my boundaries with this, and I'd ask to please do not bring forth to me sexual content about her. At all.
Sorry, I do not want to see it. It's not that I don't think there's any discussion to be had here, but 9/10 times it's just material without any thought, and the other 1/10 is disconcertingly off the mark.
Additionally, while one might assume this intensity would correlate with romance, I promise you it doesn't. I do not see her that way. Please do not make that kind of comment, it's just awkward ("your wife" and such).
I can't really comment on ships for a similar reason. She's an aroace queen to me. I won't shut it down, and you can do whatever- I simply do not find it appealing, so I can't engage with it in any meaningful manner. I do have an immediate negative reaction to rolangela because of the overabundance of "the girl and the boy HAVE to date" type of engagement with either character. It's maddening.
I am an angebinah QPR believer. I think there's something interesting to explore there regarding similar themes and imagery in both of them, with certain specific conflicts and contradictions.
Regardless-
As you can imagine, if you ever feel like talking about her, I am your gal. Hit me with your takes, your feelings, your thoughts, your questions- I adore her and I'm always happy to indulge.
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Fanart Library of Angelandria at 6196 files at the time of editing.
My reasoning for Leigh Morimens being asexual is shrimple: her vampirisim is directly paralleled with her masochistic behavior. When she trusts you enough, she tells you she actually hates blood but can't live without it, and loathes herself because of it.
You have this obvious lie of looooving blood so she's a freak in the eyes of people and being intentionally irritating so they'll punish her, because she genuinely thinks she's lower than dirt and deserves it. She hates blood. Saying she loves it and is a freak is part of the act to get punished. She wants to get punished because she hates herself. Saying she likes being punished is part of the freak act.
Type of thing to happen when you don't -want- sex but your body hates you and that leads you into self-loathing spirals of
->body demands sex -> doesn't WANT it but does it to satisfy the urge -> hates herself about it -> self-harms her way into sex again -> it gets worse -> self-harms her way into sex again ->
If it was you who made the post, I may be misremembering, can you reblog/link that one post you did about Core Meltdowns and Distortions being (on a meta level) more or less the same
I know I've talked about it, but I don't remember if I posted about it in my blog.
I'll tl;dr here anyway in case I don't find it, because I have no idea if I tagged it (likely didn't) and it's really hard to find untagged posts in this hellsite.
The core element is that Lobotomy Corporation draws a parallel with Qliphoth and the jungian concept of the Shadow. Qliphoth Deterrence weakens abnormalities (archetypal constructs from the collective human unconscious, and all of them psychologically damaging to face (like the shadow)), Qliphoth Countdown measures an abnormality's arousal until it breaks out.
Then, Core Meltdowns explicitly say "manifestation of qliphah due to sephirah breakdown". A Qliphah is the "shell" of a sephirah, in the sense it's "covered" by it. For a sephirah to shine its light, it has to shed its qliphah, which is what Core Suppression entails. Qliphah are, in a way, the Shadow of the Sephirah (for example, Binah is about understanding, while its qliphah is stagnation and refusal to change, which fits to a T how that CS goes down), it's a sort of inversion or blockade of the virtue they're supposed to represent. The tree being inverted is associated with the Qliphoth, and it's not until you successfully shed them all (each of you face your shadow and come out the other side) that it turns around into the proper Sephiroth.
On a visual language level, EGO is a physical manifestation of the psyche (usually in the form of a tool of some sort), it's how it represents one's successful individuation, while Distortion is... well, a Distortion of the psyche. It's not strictly a failed shadow assimilation, but it's along those lines. The difference worth pointing out is that it -distorts- physical space, usually starting by the body (See how, for example, Philip goes from wearing armor and a weapon, to having his body mutate into statues). In this way, Core Meltdowns follow the language of distortions (with two notable exceptions): their physical bodies, the brain inside the box, bursts out and branches into tendrils.
Gebura doesn't do that, she doesn't crack, but rather, embodies her qliphah in the way her aggression and violence becomes wanton and directionless.
Binah, similarly, embodies her qliphah, but she's perfectly reasonable as she always was: she challenges you in a very deliberate way, there's no "Losing her marbles". (With her, there's a real argument to be made about shadow assimilation done successfully, but that's another conversation).
