Life gets you done sometimes for the simplest of things like a friends mom dying or how you react to the circumstances. I've never been one to show emotion in others' misfortune, but it affects me all the same. I never know what to say or do in situations, and I feel half-hearted in words of comfort. It's possible that I can't relate or empathize with emotions, and I feel empty inside when I can't help friends in their troubles. I try to suggest solutions and tell them what I would have wanted to hear, but I can't relate. The advice I give is taken half heartedly, and the recommendations work for me, but more times than not, they fall on deaf ears. Emotional turmoil might be too much for me, and while I hand out my opinion freely, they are not a one size fits all. The shoes of many are too big and have run out of stock a long time ago. Comfort isn't something I'm good at as anyone can tell, and going anywhere beyond skin deep is hard for me to understand. Why can I succeed, but others struggle? Why am I the only one able to piece together the solution. Maybe I'm being pretentious in my wording or am unable to fathom the struggles others go through as I have found my solution. Although I am not perfect as I too struggle to keep promises even with myself as I fall in despair of simply being ignored or if it is unwanted. I don't have too many friends, and I always seem to mess up friendships over what I think is right, not what is most profitable for those around. It's lonely to think that others ignore me and even worse to think I might have pushed them away. Thinking of solutions is easy, but implementing them is a struggle as even in my day to day life, I fail to uphold my own standards. What could be worse than lying to yourself that you're going to change a bad habit or implement stricter rules on yourself. Thinking back, I'm always shoving my foot in my mouth with eyes wider than my mind. I can't help but think what if I just thought of a better solution or said words with more meaning. I speak with my mouth half open and mind shut to the chain that might react from my actions and words only. Thinking after the fact in the solace of my room of what I have done. I'm lazy in my life in everything I do, only half fulfilling promises that end up hurting those around me. I'm always saying I will change, but the gut-wrenching courage I would have to muster is too much. I regret it a lot and am stifled by my own lack of action. I just want to sleep, read, or watch movies to escape from the never-ending problems both in my life and those of others. My mind runs crazy as I hear words of depression and utter disaster from every which way. I wonder if I will be able to handle the hurdles of leaving others' problems but unable to speak out with cherry-picked words. I want to be more direct, but I never know how far it is too far and if I'm even in the right to say what I think. I agree on the outside, but inside, I have an internal struggle letting go of opinions and ideas I find absolutely crazy. Why must those around me tell me their problems if they are simply going to throw away my ideas? Wouldn't it be worth a try. Yet again, I think I might be full of myself, an I should be happy that my friends and others come to me to vent. Though I hope one day I can be taken seriously.
gummygunk
titsay
baratheonpilled
origamiaround
tangentwithtanner
snowghoul
romaincrisis
