Anything. Anytime. Anywhere.
Ah, dresses. They radiate such different meaning in a D/s relationship than in most any other. Rather than simply being an attractive adornment, a tantalizing couture that displays the legs, heightens curiosity, and fans the imagination, a dress takes on new symbolism when worn by a submissive for their Dominant. No longer simply a fashion statement or effort at attraction, the dress is in fact a clear and present reminder and symbol of submission. Submission through access; anytime, anywhere.
When a submissive kneels for a Dominant and chooses to be taken in a sexually oriented D/s relationship (as opposed to service-based), they turn over not only their will but also their bodies to the pleasure of their Dominant under predetermined conditions and limitations. This notion of sexual service is where the vanilla world often becomes perplexed and even turns hostile toward the BDSM lifestyle. Such an agreement between consenting adults strikes them as bizarre at a minimum and more than a little exploitive. After all, what healthy, “normal” woman would give their body to a Dominant to be used in any way they choose, any time they choose, and anywhere the urge strikes? What woman would permit themselves to be “used” in such a manner? The answer is strikingly simple; a woman who has found a man (or woman) worthy of such a gift.
Part of the allure and beauty of the D/s dance is the fact that we are so free and comfortable to be our most authentic selves. We are able to explore and experience our sexuality in a raw and uninhibited manner. We are able to feel the illusion of being out of control while always remaining safe and sane. The degree to which we are able to shed our inhibitions and live this freedom is commensurate with the level of trust we develop between us. It is that trust then enables a submissive to turn not only their will but their bodies over to a Dominant. Not only because they feel submissive enough to do so, but because they know they will also enjoy and be rewarded by the effort.
But it is the way a Dominant takes and claims that makes all the difference. A Dominant takes in such a way that the mind and heart of the submissive are fully engaged and have indeed become accomplices to the taking. Nothing is forced or coerced. Quite the opposite. The submissive mindset allows the sub to be willing and prepared for the taking at all times. In fact, anticipating it. With continual desire and anticipation waiting in the wings, there is almost disappointment if the Dominant does not act on it in some way. Indeed the expectation, no desire, is to be claimed and taken in the most unexpected and erotic manners. Anything less is a let down.
So it is around those expectations and desires that we create our rules and protocols, contracts and agreements. The submissive becomes the willing accomplice of the Dominant in a never ending quest to fulfill each others’ desires and needs. The Dominant continually strives to earn the trust of the submissive so that her inhibitions drop and vulnerabilities rise, so that the submissive may give her absolute service and devotion by pleasing the Dominant who in turn pleases the submissive with his/her dedication, honesty and devotion, which breeds more submission. Done right, the circle is never broken and new realms of awareness, consciousness and unbridled sensuality and sexuality are achieved.
The submissive wears the dress perhaps because her Dominant instructed her to do so, or perhaps because it is part of the protocol or rules in force between them. Whatever the reason, the submissive is eager to please her Dominant. More than likely the wearing of a dress includes a prohibition on wearing anything beneath it; a constant reminder of submission and unfettered access by the Dominant to her body. The mere thought of this unfettered access, taken advantage of or not, is an aphrodisiac for the submissive, ever reminding of her role in the power exchange and of the One to whom she has knelt. If the dress is short, the constant fussing by the submissive to sit and stand properly and remain decently covered in the eyes of others is a subtle reminder that she is exposed for One, not many. The warm hand of the Dominant resting on a knee or slowly gliding part way up a thigh takes on a whole new meaning and anticipation. Here? Now? With all these people around? Or perhaps it is just an affectionate touch, a gentle tactile connection and nothing more. Or perhaps not?
D/s is as much about what we don’t do as what we do. Anticipation plays an enormous role in the lives of Dominant and submissive. Rules, protocols and instructions all serve practical purposes but they also set the stage for anticipation. An instruction that a submissive wear a dress or skirt with nothing underneath when out in public, combined with the standing knowledge that the service agreement grants unfettered access to her Dominant sends the imagination reeling with possibilities. Instead of simply going out on the town and taking in the sights, there is the ever present reminder and question of when, where, how, or even if? Will he or won’t he? The uncertainty, anticipation, even a slight touch of fear heightens the senses and awareness while maintaining the intensity of the power exchange dynamic at a level it might not otherwise be. It means she is always not simply available but ready, even when she least expects it. And that is indeed the joy, for both.
When the dress goes on, anticipation goes up and inhibitions come down. There is no question or debate, no coercion or denial. She is Mine. Anything. Anytime. Anywhere.
Caption © For The Love of a Submissive, 2013
