NBA Injury Report

[nbainjuryreport]

Name Jermaine O'Neal

Status Day-to-Day

Date Nov. 18

Comment O'Neal's status (way too many raisins) will be updated Monday according to Marcus Thompson of the San Jose Mercury News. 

[nbainjuryreport]

Name Will Bynum

Status Day-to-Day

Date Nov. 18

Comment Bynum (multiple nightmares about skinny guy from original Funny Games) will miss Monday's tilt against the Mavs, gypsy from Drag Me to Hell reports.

[nbainjuryreport]

Name James Harden

Status Day-to-Day

Date Nov. 15

Comment Harden (dropped pizza on foot (2nd degree burns)) scored 36 points and tallied nine rebounds, two assists, and a steal in 41 minutes Thursday versus New York.

[nbainjuryreport]

Name Kevin Garnett

Status Day-to-Day

Date Nov. 14

Comment Garnett (talking shit to cancer patients), who returned to practice Thursday, plans on playing in Friday's game against the Trail Blazers.

[nbainjuryreport]

Name Solomon Jones

Status Out

Date Nov. 14

Comment Jones is now hoping to avoid disillusionment, after getting a second opinion on the artistic merits Noah Baumbach's Frances Ha, Highlights Magazine reports.

[nbainjuryreport]

Name Michael Carter-Williams

Status Day-to-Day

Date Nov. 13

Comment Carter-Williams (penning Vanessa Williams comeback album) participated in Wednesday morning's shootaround, vanessawilliams.com reports.

[nbainjuryreport]

Name Ray Allen

Status Day-to-Day

Date Nov. 13

Comment Allen (organizing Nazi memorabilia dungeon) will be held out of Wednesday's contest versus the Bucks, the Daily Mail reports.

[nbainjuryreport]

Name Metta World Peace

Status Day-to-Day

Date Nov. 12

Comment World Peace (walked all the way to subway before realizing he didn't have his wallet) won't suit up Wednesday against the Hawks.

[nbainjuryreport]

Name Chase Budinger

Status Out

Date Nov. 12

Comment Budinger (just got to episode in Cheers when Coach dies) will see his psychiatrist Wednesday for a checkup, Variety reports.

[nbainjuryreport]

Name Udonis Haslem

Status Day-to-Day

Date Nov. 11

Comment Haslem (master sommelier exam) will not play on Tuesday, Food and Wine reports. He will be replaced by Shane Battier in the starting lineup

[nbainjuryreport]

Name Anthony Bennett

Status Day-to-Day

Date Nov. 11

Comment Bennett (short stories keep getting rejected by n+1) has been cleared to play Monday against the 76ers, the Paris Review reports.

[nbainjuryreport]

Name J.R. Smith

Status Out

Date Nov. 8

Comment Smith (penis caught in vacuum cleaner) may start in his season debut Sunday against the Spurs, New York Newsday reports.

[nbainjuryreport]

Name Joel Freeland

Status Day-to-Day

Date Nov. 8

Comment Freeland (slowly disappearing as son travels through time) practiced Thursday, reason.org reports.

[nbainjuryreport]

Name Devin Harris

Status Day-to-Day

Date Nov. 7

Comment Harris (beriberi) will visit his orthodontist Friday and hopes to get clearance to increase his activity, longjohnsilvers.com reports.

[nbainjuryreport]

Name Kemba Walker

Status Day-to-Day

Date Nov. 7

Comment Walker (that part in The Lion King when Mufasa dies) will try and play on Friday against New York, ABC Family reports.

[nbainjuryreport]

Name Blake Griffin

Status Day-to-Day

Date Nov. 5

Comment Griffin (scary nap) participated in the Clippers' shootaround and is expected to play in Tuesday's contest against the Rockets.

[nbainjuryreport]

Name Charlie Villanueva

Status Day-to-Day

Date Nov. 5

Comment Villanueva (too many dunkaroos) missed his third-straight game Sunday against the Celtics.