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I’m so fucking broken.

I thought that pretending that would happen. I thought that taking care of others, my body and my heart would forget how bad it hurts. How much I was not ready. To all, I lied and firstly, to myself. No, it’s not normal to come with a smile the day after a break. No, it’s not normal to pretend to be good. I tried with all my strength to convince myself I was fine. But no, it’s not so easy. It’s not fair to be thrown as if I had never counted. It’s not fair to treat me as if I did not have feelings. One day, I think I’m fine and the next day, I fall on my knees pain. I’m in pain, it kills me inside. I did not expect it to hurt that badly. But I have to assume that it’s going happen, like all accumulated injuries.

#to myself #broken

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