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@ncthisown-blog
okay, jamie has MOVED. though i didn’t totally want to, my son deserves better than being a background muse on a blog that i kept getting distracted from because his muses is still very much with me, i just suck sometimes. so i have put him somewhere where he’ll hopefully get the attention he deserves like he used to. if you wanna keep interacting with this beautiful sweet dear, find us here.
okay, jamie has MOVED. though i didn’t totally want to, my son deserves better than being a background muse on a blog that i kept getting distracted from because his muses is still very much with me, i just suck sometimes. so i have put him somewhere where he’ll hopefully get the attention he deserves like he used to. if you wanna keep interacting with this beautiful sweet dear, find us here.
okay, jamie has MOVED. though i didn’t totally want to, my son deserves better than being a background muse on a blog that i kept getting distracted from because his muses is still very much with me, i just suck sometimes. so i have put him somewhere where he’ll hopefully get the attention he deserves like he used to. if you wanna keep interacting with this beautiful sweet dear, find us here.
“run, run, lost boy,” they say to me, “away from all of reality…”
“I’m fine. Everything’s fine.”
He repeats it like a mantra, every day of his goddamn life. It’s what he tells his mom, when she can stop long enough to notice. What he tells the teachers at school when he keeps appearing in their class with bruise after bruise. When he gets so exhausted he passes out in their class. What he tells Eric when he wakes up, hungover and guilt ridden. Everything’s fine. Everything’s fine. Everything’s f i n e. It’s what he says to himself when he’s fixing himself up, trying not to stare too hard at the bruises. If he does that, he thinks he might go insane and he’s got to keep sane. He can’t lose himself in it, they need him. He knows he’s in over his head, he’s known that since the first time Eric laid a hand on him. But he’s handling it. Another lie he repeats, like if he says it enough it’ll magically become true. Wishful thinking, but he has to believe it. He has to try to believe that he can handle it. His mother certainly can’t – not that he thinks she’s w e a k. She just has so much on her plate, already. How do you think she’d handle finding out one of her sons has completely gone off the deep end and the other is now a willing victim of abuse? (Yes, he knows how FUCKED UP it is. He should seek help. He should tell. He s h o u l d. He wont.) Because he’s “handling it”. He’s doing what’s necessary. And if that means he has to deal with a few blows every now and again (every other day, now, it seems), then that’s just what he’s gotta do. He most definitely does not have it handled.
Everything’s fine.
when your muse misses two of the most fucked up people he’s ever met probably and you just kind of ??? @ jamie why
still lowkey wanna give jamie the awful shadowhunter verse i thought of before.....
@bowstrung
“Y’know, it tastes better with ketchup.”
starter call!
“for me, it’s a… A WAR inside my head. i just don’t want to lose c o n t r o l.”
this isn’t the story of how i died; it’s the story of how i lived.
thuglifemickm:
Mickey looked down at the blood on the towel. It was more than he liked. “Might need stitches,” He murmured, like he was some fuckin doctor. He leaned forward to look at the bruising.
“I’m not going to a doctor.” Quick, desperate, firm. He couldn’t go to a hospital; doctor’s asked questions and they might not believe when he said it was just kids from school.
bowstrung:
"Let’s just forget that you ever saw that, alright?“ He was a kid, it wasn’t like anyone would believe him anyway and if he did happen to have the sight then this wasn’t anything unusual. "Um…thanks. You didn’t have to worry, but I appreciate it.” He was startled to receive concern from a stranger and a kid at that. Nodding, Alec said, “Sure, I’m fine. You can go along. Do you need help getting somewhere? New York can be dangerous on your own.”
“I can do that.” It wasn’t like he planned on running his mouth, anyway. It wasn’t Jamie’s business how he did it, anyway, or what IT even was so he couldn’t say much anyway. Not that he didn’t know if he tried he’d sound insane. It just happened. And yes, he knew he didn’t have to; it’s just who he is as a person. He’d do it again, for anyone. He just smiled at Alec and shook his head, “No, I’ll be okay on my own. Thanks, though.”
lowkey starter call
