[neberrie]

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WELCOME TO NEBERRIE.TUMBLR.COM, an independent, canon compliant, low activity portrayal of padmé amidala naberrie from star wars. this blog is based on the prequel trilogy film series, the clone wars tv show, and my own headcanons. originally established in 08/2021. this blog is 21+. beta editor and xkit rewritten only. affiliated with @chosenson and @skydraign.

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[neberrie]

sorry for what this blog is going to become

[skydraign]

                        ten years of grief comes undone with three simple words — i'm not afraid. her voice is just as he remembers it to be ... the same voice he'd listened to on the holonet give speeches whilst he was parsecs away. the same voice he could easily pick out of a crowded room. the same voice that'd whisper sweet nothings to him underneath silk bedsheets. her voice was intoxicating, like music to his ears. and he never thought he'd be given the chance to hear it again. ❝ no, i suppose you wouldn't be. ❞

anakin skywalker ceased to exist those ten years ago, leaving only darth vader to rise from his ashes. unable to live with what he'd done, in your anger, you killed her, anakin skywalker had to die. he had sworn to protect her, to prevent his nightmares from coming true. he promised to save her and he broke that promise with an enclosed fist. darth vader consumed him, and he let it. he lost himself to the armour and the name, and does the emperor's bidding, because what else is there? what is the means to live if he had failed to save her? if he was the reason for her death?

❝ i do not want to kill you. ❞ despite all his grief and all his burying, snuffing out any remnant of anakin skywalker like the flame of a candle. here she stands, alive and breathing. he hadn't killed her. and she's seemingly unaware of the familiar face beneath the durasteel mask. ❝ how can i kill ... what is already dead? ❞ he disengages his weapon, the hue of red shrinking back down into the hilt.

❝ you have her face and you speak her voice. it is possible you are one of her handmaidens? ❞ but he knows that not to be true, because in the force, padmé was always surrounded by bright light. now, she's a supernova. ❝ but that is not the case, is it? you are padmé amidala. ❞

[neberrie]

HOW DID HE KNOW? no one knew she was alive, save obi - wan, who's fled to tatooine to watch over luke, sabé and saché, two of her most trusted handmaidens, and bail organa, with whom she'd entrusted to the care of leia. did one of them reveal the truth about her death somehow? HAD THEY BEEN TORTURED? KILLED? the thought petrified her, that something had happened to those so close to her and she didn't know.

now, padmé is faced with a choice. should she lie? she's sure darth vader can sense her emotions. AFTER ALL, ANAKIN COULD. the force was something she didn't quite understand, nor did she pretend to. but if anakin could do it, vader must be able. he was stronger than anakin, after all. VADER KILLED HIM. HE MUST HAVE THE SAME ABILITY IF HE HAS THAT LEVEL OF STRENGTH. could he have deduced this on his own? was he truly so strong in the force that her very identity was made known to him, JUST FROM MERE EXPOSURE? should she refuse to answer? what would he do if she refused him? would she face the same fate as her friends? no, not this way. she's left with one other option — tell the truth.

“ i am. ” she's shocked her voice remains so firm, and the question of how he knows burns deep inside of her. no one has called her padmé in a long time. PADMÉ AMIDALA IS DEAD, AND SO IS HER CHILD. a fake corpse buried with a pregnant belly to match. MEANWHILE, EMORA KLOBIKESS IS BORN. from naboo, someone who detested the empire as did most of her people. it was an easy role to slip into. it's one that sheds away now, as she stares up at the dark metal mask that breathes so loudly she can barely hear herself think or breathe.

she finally sheathes her blaster, hand instantly raising to twist the ring on her left ring finger. her last trace of anakin. she never got to wear it publicly — emora gets to. she tells people she's a widow, that she LOST HER HUSBAND TO THE CRUELTY OF THE EMPIRE. it's not an untrue statement. “ who told you? who did you kill to get that information? ”

[skydraign]

@neberrie, padmé amidala. ⁽ ᵖˡᵒᵗᵗᵉᵈ ˢᵗᵃʳᵗᵉʳ. ⁾

                        stoic — he is unmoving. as a crashing wave of white cladded stormtroopers race past him and onwards, firing their blasters and filling the corridor with smoke. lord vader stands. with saber ignited blood red. behind the mask, eyes of sith yellow stare at only one rebel amongst all others. do eyes deceive him? they've never done so outside of his private meditation before. but there she stands ... a woman he longed thought dead.

her death had tore out his heart and replaced it with something else, something cold, something no longer his. her death had followed him; a ghost just out of reach. he had died alongside her. who he had been ceased to exist once she drew her last breath.

yet more of the emperor's venomous lies, spat out in order to secure unwavering loyalty. because there she stands, fighting back against the onslaught of this empire attack. ❝ retreat. ❞ the order is given. an unusual word for even him to speak and certaintly to repeat. ❝ i said — retreat. ❞ there's no need to shout, as the troopers closest to hear began relaying the order through their helmets and soon — they start to back out.

but darth vader, lord of the sith remains unmoving still. until it is only him, her and the gaggle of rebels remaining — but not for much longer. gloved hand shoots out, the force gathering between his fingers and firing out a powerful shockwave, knocking the rebels back ten feet before following up with the slamming close of corridor doors behind him and her — sealing only the two of them inside the enclosed space.

slowly, his hand lowers back to his side. and only the sounds of his mechanical breath and the hum of his lightsaber fill the air. part of him still expects for her to disappear — to fade from sight like she always had before. ❝ don't be afraid. ❞

[neberrie]

DON'T BE AFRAID. what a big, cosmic joke. she'd said the same thing to her people when they learned that darth vader was approaching, AND SUDDENLY, A SIMPLE RAID WAS NOT SO SIMPLE. the terrifying extension of the emperor's arm, a killing machine that slaughtered everyone and everything in his path. I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE, it feels as though it happened yesterday.

GEONOSIS, 22 BBY. padmé and anakin, chained to a carriage. most love stories start differently than theirs. most love stories don't involve a jedi padawan and a senator, now that she thinks of it. I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE, her mind repeats. I'VE BEEN DYING A LITTLE BIT EACH DAY SINCE YOU CAME BACK INTO MY LIFE. she remembers hearing about his death — life had little meaning. her children sent off, a means to keep them safe. it's been ten years — DEATH WOULD BE KINDER THAN THE ACHE SHE'S FELT IN HER HEART EVERY DAY. if the sith lord intends to kill her, at least she will be reunited with her love.

“ i'm not afraid. ” she's shocked at how strong her voice is, grip remains tight on her blaster. up close, HE'S JUST AS TERRIFYING AS HE'S MADE OUT TO BE. at least three heads taller than her, black metal where his eyes, hands, and legs should be. the sound of his breathing echoes in the tiny chamber he's made for them, something that makes him out to be more machine than man. was emperor palpatine's great weapon a droid? one that could use the force somehow? perhaps he was a man at one point, led away from the light side and tempted by something irresistible. WAS IT WORTH IT?

her heart pounds in her chest, but padmé is DETERMINED to stand her ground and remain firm. she thinks of the people he was able to cast away with the wave of his hand, how she needs to fight for them and their survival. even if it costs her life. “ WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? ” few people knew of her true identity — did darth vader know? the prospect terrified her. “ do you want to kill me? fine. IF YOU DO, will you let my team go? ”

[skydraign]

                        the age-old question — are his tired, aged eyes playing tricks on him? or is she really here? padmé amidala, his wife, the mother of his children, the very fibre of his being, the air his lungs breath, the beating of his heart. he'd stopped dead in his tracks when eyes dawned upon her, fearful to look away or even blink and see her vanish from sight again, like she has so many times before. even twenty years without her, he's still constantly reminded of her. holding his breath each time and hoping, until reality reminds him that it cannot possible be her ... because in reality, they're parsecs away from each other. at opposite ends of the galaxy.

anakin watches her — uncertain on what to do. he cannot find the right words to call out ... how many times has he dreamed of this moment? and now he can't speak? should he just go over? surprise her as he's done many times before. but then she moves, just a flinch but everything in him cries out, afraid that he'll miss his chance and then it comes; that echo of the past. the same question asked by that small boy on a lonely desert planet, the first words he spoke to her. are you an angel? ( an angel? i heard the deep space pilots talk about them. they're the most beautiful creatures in the universe. )

and then she's running towards him, faster than anticipated and anakin barely just catches her in his arms. laughter escapes him, that in turn becomes a sob. his face finds home in the crook of her neck, hands holding onto the fabric on her back in tight bundles. he breathes her in, and he's home. she's home and she's real, she's here and with him, their two-decade separation has come to an end. ❝ padmé ... ❞ he whispers against her skin, holding her to him as tightly as physically possible, before lifting her in the air and spinning her with overcome joy.

what a sight to behold for those passing through the hangar bay of the rebel base, the reunion of star-crossed lovers — but no attention is is made to them, because his whole world is being held in his arms. ❝ i never thought ... i never thought i'd see you again. ❞ anakin says, pulling back to meet her gaze with his own teary eyes. ❝ i've missed you padmé. ❞ his smile is wide and bright, the smile only ever deserved for her eyes to see. she's as beautiful as his dreams remember her to be. ❝ not a day has gone by where i haven't thought of you. ❞

[neberrie]

he feels just like she remembered. older now, of course, than the last time padmé saw him, but he is SO, UNDENIABLY ANAKIN SKYWALKER. her anakin, the boy she met over thirty years ago now standing before her once more. she doesn't know whether to break down and cry, to kiss him, to ask him how the last TWO DECADES have gone — she chooses to revel in the moment, in the way he so easily picks her up and spins her, just like he used to. AND SUDDENLY, she's transformed back. to before it all went wrong, in the shadows of that office building. the whispering, the sneaking. ANI, I'M PREGNANT. he wanted to scream their marriage from the rooftops back then. she wonders what might have happened if she didn't hold him back. THIS IS THE HAPPIEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE. his voice plays in her head, and so does that reunion. those five months were the longest they'd been apart. now, it seemed like a cakewalk.

“ i missed you too. ” she grins, voice wavering and eyes tearing up to match her husband's. her wedding ring still sits on her finger, and she realizes now that all of this has been worth it. the man she dedicated herself to is STILL ALIVE, in her arms, IN FRONT OF HER FACE. and, it appears, that even twenty years later, he still knows how to make her smile, how to make her blush, how to make her heart leap from her chest. he's still perfect. “ oh, ani, ” padmé murmurs, pulling him in for another hug, this time letting the tears that welled in her eyes fall down her cheeks as she buries her face into his neck. she dreamed of this day. dreamed of the day where she'd learn that her worst fears hadn't been realized, that anakin was still alive out there. it feels too good to be true — somebody pinch me!

finally, she pulls back, one hand tightly gripping his arm, the other finding its way to his hair, fingers gently running through it just like they used to do. “ i thought — i hoped you'd still be alive. ” padmé lets herself smile again, this one far wider than the first. he's aged, of course, but so has she. “ i have so many things i want to ask you, and to tell you. ” she pauses, hand resting against his cheek. hers start to hurt from smiling so widely. “ I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE REALLY HERE. i don't think i've ever been this happy in my entire life. ”

[swprequels]

STAR WARS EPISODE III: REVENGE OF THE SITH (2005) dir. George Lucas

[mcflymemes]

"I DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULD DO THAT" PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue, adjust as necessary

when did you learn how to do that?

that was... weird.

that was you, right? you did that?

i'm imagining things, aren't i? that didn't just happen.

i'm going to pretend like i didn't see that.

who on earth taught you that?

that was a bit scary, i have to admit.

i didn't know you were capable of that.

could you always do that, or was that something you just learned?

just felt like you could spring that on me, i guess?

i have... so many questions.

so... when were you going to tell me about that?

i must be dreaming.

i guess i don't know you that well after all.

did they teach you how to do that?

where did you learn that?

so that's what you learned while you were away.

all right. start talking.

you can't just pull that out without telling me!

warn me next time!

that was... that was incredible.

was that magic?

we'll talk about whatever that was later.

a little warning next time would be great.

wait wait wait, before we go any further, i need an explanation.

don't just walk off! tell me what that was!

and here i thought i knew you well enough.

i don't like it when you keep secrets.

next time, tell me beforehand. that way i'm not freaking out the whole time wondering what's going on.

you don't see that every day.

can you do it again?

show it to me again.

i liked that a little more than i should.

give me a second to pick my jaw up off the floor.

you never told me you could do something like that.

you can't just do that stuff and expect me to be okay with it!

so that's what you've been learning.

could you teach me how to do that?

how long did that take you to learn?

i'm beyond impressed by you.

now that's more like it!

that was excellent.

you really are extraordinary.

i've never seen anyone do anything remotely as cool as that.

that must have taken you years to perfect.

show me again, and this time, let me see if i can do it, too.

when we're through with this, i'd like you to teach me how.

i never thought i'd see the day.

my heart's pounding.

you're starting to really impress me.

[neberrie]

good morning to padmé amidala and padmé amidala ONLY ✨

[neberrie]

every time i remember ppl hate on anidala's age gap bc padmé ( the woman ) is older i lose 10 years of my lifespan

[neberrie]

they're MARRIED — have been for a year and a half now, and she still loves this part of the relationship. it feels so new, and it is. the amount of time they get to spend alone isn't much, but padmé has resolved herself to take advantage of EVERY SINGLE SECOND. including now. they get a WHOLE TWO HOURS together. two! she can hardly believe it.

@skydraign : would you like me to come along and hold your hand, perhaps?

“ hold my hand? how SCANDALOUS, general skywalker. ” it's so easy to smile around him — padmé holds her hand out to him, fingers stretched and ready for him. “ i have two hours today. i already have some ideas, too. have you been to the park outside? i think you'd like it. ”

[neberrie]

good evening to my parents ONLY

[aldovah]

@aldovah, @biggestnda, @hellenistiq, @neberrie, @worthfuls

[lenoreamidala]

revenge of the sith - matthew stover

[neberrie]

@skydraign : you should be sleeping.

“ and so should you. ” despite spending most of their time apart, even on the rarest of occasions when the couple is able to share a bed, padmé is unable to sleep if he's not there. ESPECIALLY NOW, now that the secret she's kept close to her chest for so long has been shared with the person she's desperately wished to tell since the moment she learned. HE'D HAVE RETURNED FROM WAR THE SECOND HE FOUND OUT, BUT IT WOULD BE MORE HARMFUL THAN BENEFICIAL. but he knows now, and that's all that matters.

padmé comes up behind anakin, one arm looping with his while the other cradles her belly. she rests her cheek softly against his arm as she stares out into the city, and she notices that for once, everything is still. “ what are you thinking about, ani? ” she murmurs, kissing his arm before glancing up at him, awaiting his response.

[chosenson]

 . ˚ ✦  @neberrie  ,    ❝ but in the end , you've lost something as well.   ❞

                    recent losses still weighed upon his conscience , only now setting in once the time to linger on the thoughts arrived. he hadn't known the ex-senator for long , albeit she was one of his closest confidants already. it was like she knew him better than he knew himself. if it weren't for her , he wasn't sure if he would voice his mind at all. the loss of his aunt & uncle , his master as well as the uncertainty of his future all pressed him at the same time. though , he wasn't arrogant to believe she didn't know what loss felt like too. ❝ yeah , well , who hasn't ? the empire has taken so much from us.   ❞ he glances down , pulling at the ends of his sleeves as he shrugs. ❝ without ben , how will i become a jedi ? i'm just not sure if i can do what i did again ... use the force.   ❞

. ˚ ✦   meme  ,  accepting  !

[neberrie]

she recognized him instantly. the spitting image of his father, but with eyes and a spirit that matched her own. OF COURSE SHE COULD NEVER TELL HIM NOW. he was so distraught over so many things, and the knowledge that his mother had been alive this whole time certainly wouldn’t help anything. “ there must be other jedi you can find, luke. ” padmé presses her lips together in a thin line, mind searching for anyone that could help him. most, if not all of the jedi she knew from before were gone or in hiding, location unknown to her and for good reason, even if she didn’t like it. HER MIND FLASHES TO ANAKIN — anakin, i met our son. he’s just as perfect as i imagined. “ i have some contacts. i could find you a master — that is, if you want me to. ”

[mcflymemes]

ASSASSIN'S CREED III PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue from the video game, adjust as necessary

we never took them seriously. maybe we should have.

i'm getting ahead of myself.

we've been fighting them for thousands of years.

i've seen the truth.

it holds the power to change everything.

there's only so much we can do.

if we can't find a way to stop it, these next few weeks will probably be our last.

it worked. we think. we hope.

we're here. let's go.

you must find the key.

here we go again.

do you hear us?

you collapsed and entered into a fugue state.

you weren't in any danger.

i know what i'm looking for, by the way. it's a key.

i'd like to run a couple of quick tests.

have you seen it before?

my father brought me here as a child.

on to business then.

the stairs are watched. you'll need to find another way up.

you should have come to me.

for what it's worth, i'm sorry.

that's why we've called you here.

i am yours to command.

well, then i'd best be on my way.

my research has been stolen. without it, i'm of no use to you.

i'll see if i can't speed things up.

we need to find a way inside.

i believe i've found the solution to our problem.

we'll attack on my signal.

i made a promise to you, [name], one i intend to keep.

the sooner we're done, the sooner we can get out of this cold.

it does not engender peace to cut your way to resolution.

if we applied the sword more liberally and more often, the world would be a better place than it is today.

now i've upheld my part of the bargain, i expect that you will honor yours?

you seem disappointed.

you have shown me great kindness, [name]. thank you.

really? that's your response? it's like dealing with a six year old.

i sense my words cause pain.

do you even know what that symbol represents?

come on. i've got something to show you.

very well. i'll train you.

you're also going to need a new name.

what's true and what is aren't always the same.

you'll be happy to hear there's actually good news for once.

it's silly for us to go back and forth like this.

we cannot give up our home.

do you have a name? do you know who is responsible?

time will tell if you speak the truth.

why are you here? has something happened?

you should have heeded my warning.

perhaps you'll respond better to the sword.

are you threatening us?

i thought it might bring clarity or instill a sense of accomplishment. but all i feel is regret.

such sacrifices must never come lightly.

all of them must be dealt with in turn.

you speak the words, but do you believe them?

takes a true monster to do something like this.

every day i wait, more will suffer.

many who should've died today now live because of you.

we do the best we can with what we've got.

you wield your blade like a man, but your mouth like a child.

there are more important things at stake here.

i do what is right. no more. no less.

i don't even see a stall in here. what if i had to take a dump?

please just mute the microphone if you do.

life is not a fairy tale, and there are no happy endings.

in your haste to save the world, take care you don't destroy it!

our interests are aligned.

perhaps some time together might do us good.

i can kill you now if you prefer.

would you like me to come along and hold your hand, perhaps?

why the change of heart? where is this coming from?

you oppose tyranny. injustice. these are just symptoms. their true cause is human weakness.

you have said so much... but you have shown me nothing.

tell me of your latest exploits.

you have not come this far to throw it all away over misplaced sentiment.

there is nothing more to discuss.

i should have stayed.

now you must hide it.

what once was shall be again.

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FROM MY OLD FANFICTIONS LOL *  assorted lines from the dumb fics i used to write, adjust as necessary

i forgot you don't like us calling you that.

we have some other issues to deal with.

what's so funny?

i can handle it.

the only thing standing between you and the barrel of a gun is me, and it's going to stay like that. i'm not moving.

go on a date, for christ's sake! meet a guy! go hang out with friends! be social for once in your life!

i'm so freaking proud of you!

yes, i watched a grown man cry. i think we've established that.

what did you say your last name was?

this game is so not fair.

you saw the blood.

you believe she actually loves you?

it was never about love.

we need to talk.

ding ding ding! we have a winner!

you know, you shouldn't be drinking this early.

i did not come all this way to see you killed like he was.

that was never part of our agreement.

bullshit. don't lie to me.

it's all right. don't panic. just keep breathing.

let's try for a little self-control.

convincing enough for you?

chivalry is dead, [name].

the last thing i want to do is get on a plane.

i never really got to say goodbye to you.

you went to mcdonalds? and you didn't get me anything?

do you wanna just watch a movie?

why would anyone be upset with you?

[name], i want you to leave.

things will work out.

i heard about that. i'm sorry.

i'm not here to kill you.

maybe i should take that from you.

go. i'm asking you. you need a day off.

what planet are we on?

so that's it, then? you're not leaving?

there's nothing out there for me anymore.

i'm not done with this.

we can't just give up!

i don't want to interrupt them.

don't you think that maybe you're here for a reason?

did you have breakfast already? i'm starving.

it could be possible.

i miss them. i miss them so much.

it wasn't your fault.

are you scared of him?

we're out of toilet paper in the bathroom.

you're always right.

i didn't make him cry.

we have a situation here!

i just hope my ravioli's good.

you don't have anything to worry about, really.

yeah. let's get this done.

it's a nightmare, i tell you.

well... now's your chance to catch up.

it looks like... somehow... we're being held hostage.

there's someone behind this door.

you don't have to leave just yet.

whatever you did, it worked.

i didn't mean to shoot at you.

you've been here since nine in the morning!

where are we? and who are you?

don't you realize it's past midnight?

you should be sleeping.

i thought it was a good plan.

turn your car around now.

look, [name], be careful.

you're in my basement.

[name]! it's been too long!

i quite enjoyed it.

a little culture never hurt anyone.

i think that's a wonderful idea.

thank you for the invitation. i might have to take you up on that.

remind me why we don't eat here more often?

i can't ask you to do this.

i won't let you down, [name].

my plan is working.

you do what you feel is right.

you don't have to go all yoda on me. i get it.

what kind of hero does that?

now you know why i haven't left this house.

same time next week?

it's been a while for me, too.

let me help you. we'll take it slow.

you are making a terrible mistake.

for the last time, you are not my father.