Neelamani 'Neela' d/o Kalanath
Major in Film, minor in South Asian Studies.
Neela knew that from a young age, she just wasn’t going to be accepted. The poster girl for not fitting in, she lived her whole life on the outskirts, knowing that she was going to fight tooth, nail, and claw to make her way to the top. Her goal was to have the chance to say “hey! look at me! i call the shots now, suckers!”Â
She was born in Kandy, but as the civil war started raging, her parents relocated the family all over Sri Lanka to try and escape the fighting. As she was a child, she didn’t really understand why she had to leave her friends so often or why, as the fighting increased, other parents would often warn their children away from her. Often, her family’s movement spawned rumours they were spies for the Tamil Tigers, leading to a need to move around more, thus creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.Â
The second their refugee status was confirmed, they were on the next flight to London. From the age of nine she lived in public housing, working when she wasn’t at school to help support her two younger siblings. This mostly instilled a strong work ethic and the drive to get out of the estate in her, knowing that the only way to escape her situation was by fighting for it.Â
She knew in many ways she was lucky, being blessed with a loving family, so coming out as queer at the age of seventeen had little effect on her relationship with her parents. However, what did effect her relationship with her parents was her decision to study film at a higher level.
Being the classic “asian parent” stereotype, her parents were hoping for her to become a lawyer, a doctor, or a banker. Film - one of the most tenuous and least rewarding of the arts subjects, just seemed like majoring in poverty to them. They could not understand why their hardworking and dedicated daughter wanted to pursue such an impractical career - this inability to understand her motivations damaged their relationship quite a bit.Â
In the end, her choice of college came down to which offered her the most extensive scholarship, and which was furthest away from home. Being in America meant that she was not only a couple of hours away, she was a whole ocean away from her overbearing parents.Â
Their relationship still remains civil, yet estranged, however she does not regret her choice.Â
Faceclaim: Mathangi Arulpragassam (M.I.A)