I Came Here To Write

I'm Neen. 24. Genderqueer. It might not make sense but this is my life. I'm glad to have you here with me. Don't be a stranger, just be strange. Enjoy the ride, Dear.

[neenn]

This is something I have been working on for a while but the New Year has given me motivation to push harder.

-Put myself first before others for a change.

-Do what makes me happy.

-Eat a more balanced diet

-Make sure I get enough sleep each night

[neenn]

Is He Here?

I’m not particularly fond of you

I just like the idea of having you

You poison my dreams.

I awake soaked in terror

My sheets bundled on the floor

I wish I’d kicked you off instead.

I would take back the ‘I love you’ that I spat out in pitty

Queasy.

I wish I could throw up my memories and drain them away like they never mattered to me

You can’t miss what you can’t remember

[neenn]

If anyone needs to talk click here. I’m a trained volunteer. You don’t have to talk to me you can talk to another Listener if you like. You aren’t alone

Online Therapy & Free Counseling, Someone To Talk To | 7 Cups

Need Help? Find someone to talk to for online therapy & free counseling. Online text chat about relationship & marriage problems, breakups a

[neenn]

Since you asked nicely... 😜

Credit: Unknown

[graff1980]

White haired head leans in to his hands to hide the tears that threaten to swallow the last bits of his resilience.

An American tragedy all those families crying out loud, what a shame for America the proud.

An anti-Semite takes another life tonight.

Another, skin head,

another neo nazi,

and the president panders to them with hidden nods to the ideas they salute.

Makes me want to puke, or drop from a plane with no parachute because these dudes have no compassion, and smashing my body into the form of a pancake might make people take this serious.

Another, white haired head leans in to their hands to hide the tears that threaten to swallow the last bits of their resilience.

-2018

[neenn]

Tomorrow I will see both my brothers together for the first time in over 6 years. We got separated when the abuse at home started. I’ve seen them briefly individually but we are finally going to be together again... I can’t wait.

[neenn]

I wonder what life has in store for me...

Is this happiness only temporary?

[graff1980]

Robot boys, metal jammed god dammed hot gears burning, synthetic sounds static blaring, nobody caring.

Chrome gleaming engine screaming in lust ready rust or bust a robust nut.

Don’t startle them or they will bolt.

Pre-programed young to old man machines made to work drink and act like jerks while they are jerked around.

Till they finally shutdown, no reboots or sequels just scrap for the junkyard.

-2018

[neenn]

I have so much rage inside me and so can’t focus... I can’t even put it into words.

[neenn]

I’m dead. Who made this ?😭

[gmmtheev]

reading in head: i’m practically a master of linguistics my pronunciations are perfect beyond compare

reading aloud: *chokes on spit*

[neenn]

Good Morning

[neenn]

I’m falling

So hard

For you.

Be there to catch me?

[neenn]

I don’t feel good enough.

[neenn]

It’s okay to not be okay

[anxiousanarchistpoetry-deactiva]

Vices

I know I’m a hypocrite for doing stuff like smoking at an anti-corporation rally

But I need something to do

I would end all my vices right now

If i didnt need something to help me cope with the world and all its awfulness

Not exactly to make it worthwhile

More like bearable

I know I’m sending these businessmen my money but it’ll get there anyway

I don’t use Amazon but Jeff Bezos still exists and has far more money than compassion

And I know I’ve already written one about smoking

But I don’t have a lot going on so I work with what I’ve got

And what I have is an addiction to something I’m fundamentally against

In a world I want to fundamentally change or tear down before it tears me down

I’m just some depressed kid with a poor amount of self control and ideas above his station

But I don’t want that to get to me so I’ll take any distraction going

Even if it means buying into the same crap that I preach against so I don’t fold in on myself

I’ve seen self-professed anarchists morph into corrupt and broken shills for the system

John Lydon let down generations when he backed Trump but we all knew he was a dickhead long before then so it hurts less

I wish there were something else I could do that wouldn’t make me hate myself more but mental illness is a wall that I can’t climb over

So while I look for a sledgehammer to knock that son of a bitch down I will cope in any way I can

Because somewhere deep down beneath the longing to kill myself is a want to see the future

Something better that makes all this worth it

Something that tells me to keep making jokes so I don’t become the punchline

And then, maybe, I can be happy

[minuty]

[neenn]

Powerful 💙