An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Oneshot | 11k
Fandom: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Edelgard von Hresvelg/Claude von Riegan
Additional Tags: Rivals to Lovers, rivals to rivals, Rivals With Benefits, POV Claude von Riegan, claude takes it personally, edelclaude, Post-Crimson Flower | Black Eagles Route (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), claude von anxiety
Summary:
Okay, so it's been a few years. Alright, she -- uhh, he -- they -- didn't exactly leave things on the best of terms. And maybe he's a little distracted with some of your standard sabotage-years-in-the-making type funny business. But he wanted to see her. And he wanted her to finally see him. He can have it all, yeah, for sure.
or --
Claude orchestrates his perfect final exit from Fódlan politics. The plan is complicated, and his feelings even more so.
or --
Close your eyes and imagine that I fully totally 101% rewrote a previous fic from scratch. Now open your eyes and click the link. Hey! Look at that!
written for edelclaude week 2025! aka ‘caught looking: divorce edition’
the assembly line method is working really well for me. and i got a lot done while my in-laws were here, since sitting and crocheting is not a rude thing to do while lounging, conversing, or watching EuroCup games etc.
my current status is...
finished squares: 18
in progress squares (on the border rounds, almost done): 11
practice squares to undo and redo: 3
with those all wrapped up, i'll have finished 2/3rds of the total 48 squares. that's why i decided to start the next step, so i can stagger everything and keep my motivation/interest high.
i fit 12 squares on my blocking board (i could have fit more but 12 is 1/4th so that just feels "good") and didn't have to use too many straight pins. i may buy more t-pins anyway... i always run out...!
i couldn't find any info on blocking this yarn (cotton/acrylic) but it seemed like it was worth a shot. the final measurements are 7.5"x7.5", a bit smaller than the 8x8 i thought i was getting before i got my tension to be consistent, but nothing serious. plus i don't think i ever added in the border to my calculations, which will be an extra 1" on all sides.
as blocking finishes - these shouldn't take too long because i sprayed (didn't soak) and we have a dehumidifier going in that room anyway - i will start sewing some panels together.
i'm very happy with my progress so far! on multiple counts --
1) i'm absolutely on track to finish the whole thing by my sister's late august bday :)
2) i've learned a lot and gotten a lot more comfortable and confident with my crocheting. i'm so excited to work on a new blanket project after this (100% gonna be a janie crow pattern but i haven't decided which yet)
3) i'm still really enjoying it, sometimes i wake up and it's the first and only thing i want to do that day.
project diary pt 2, we have entered assembly line phase
it took me a lot of uhh "practice" squares before I got to the point of feeling like I was doing something repeatable. I made a bunch, each time having trouble with a different section, I changed the way I was holding the yarn to a worse (ergonomically speaking) way... but one that FELT like the tension was better. Finally I pulled it all together into... a square that was COMICALLY oversized and out of proportion. I was like ??????? whither linear progress???
So what I did was: I wrote down what I was doing (lol), like I'd been combining two patterns but not always precisely the same way (lol) so I finally standardized it and put it to paper, and printed it out, and then took a break of idk maybe ten days? Because also my wrist was hurting (see first paragraph, exacerbated due to intense shoulder PT) and we had some travel bla bla bla.
Anyway.
I came back to it, switched BACK to the better & more ergonomic way of holding the yarn, which unsurprisingly has WAYYYYY better tension, did another square that was ALmost there, not perfect but it allowed me to really pinpoint the section that was causing everything to go haywire, so now I know I need to focus on those specific rounds. Or corners, as it were.
Finally i pulled it all together and... did a square that I was really happy with. Not sure how many of the first batch I'll end up redoing (there are 6), I'll figure it out later.
Yesterday I figured I'd do some assembly line style and that's working super well so far. I plan to do one more yellow and then finish out this batch pictured, block, and sew them together to see how that stage works out.
thinkin things[TM] about the epilogue from a casual player standpoint and from a fanwork standpoint. massive spoilers of course!
Ok well the short of it is that I feel every conceivable emotion about the epilogue: on the one hand it's extremely complete and satisfying and on the other hand it's underwhelming, forced, and disappointing.
I would have been disappointed if the game had faded to black after Juro wakes up to Megumi. Yeah, I get that we started with him so to keep things parallel we should end with him. But their relationship arc is not convincing, Juro's reciprocation feels really forced and she's missing a redemptive element.
I do, as a writer and as a reader/viewer, tend to like "fade to black" when you have enough details to let your imagination roam... but in this case, we've spent so many hours with lost and unhappy characters, it would have been a little sad to just leave it wide open.
So just on the surface, getting like 20 minutes of epilogue as the credits roll, where we make sure to check in with every single character, was such a treat. It's like a cooldown after running the marathon of the plot: you get to just sit back and enjoy a few more minutes with these characters (and without any need to Consider anything else at all).
Where it disappoints, however, is also where plenty of room opens up for interpretation. And that is also great!!!!!!!!
I basically agree with any criticism and complaints I've seen about the epilogue. But I don't really care. That's where the fanwork angle comes in, you have to be OK with accepting the details shared as more like a guiderail or possibility than something that is strictly set in stone, like, this happened in exactly this way exactly five years after the game ends and we have to take what the characters are saying and how they are acting at face value. No we do not!
First, I think some of what underwhelms (personally) is the very fact that we just go back to them as teenagers (they are not!) in their teenager avatars. The simulation is just picking up where it left off, so this is necessary, but it is a regression and if you were more intrigued by the possibilities of life outside the sim and of growing up and growing relationship dynamics, then it won't satisfy any of that.
There is also the fact of everyone pairing off (also LOL at the odd one out, Tamao, pairing off with... herself). Especially since some of those dynamics - again Juro & Megumi, and then Shu & Yuki, and, well, also Ei & Iori - were on pretty rough/unexplored territory and so to both fast-forward 5 years AND YET regress, does not help explain or smooth things over.
Just one example: Shu & Yuki especially is a ????? but idk, remember that five years HAVE passed and I think you can have some fun with it and also look for explanations that make the epilogue work (if that's what you want). They have a baby: look, they're all having babies because they need to recreate humanity and are apparently on board with this directive. That doesn't mean they all, and in this case these two, have a romantic or intimate relationship... they have all the technology in the world (literally lol), this can be an in-vitro situation (if not just fully lab-grown!!!) where they're raising Konatsu together, I mean, they do have a fondness for each other and it doesn't mean it's romantic. And Shu making Ida-inspired comments to someone else is still weird as hell even if he & Yuki aren't romantic (have you read this yet????!?!?!?!?!? go go go do it read it!)
The other option as always is just to ignore it, or cherry-pick what you do and don't like about it. As I'm starting to outline a post-canon fic idea, I can already tell that I'm going to probably disregard or change the facts of the epilogue entirely. Like maybe I'll keep in mind that Shu & Yuki eventually have a child while also putting the "we're back in the sim!" point at 8-10 years after instead of 5. I'll keep in mind that Keitaro was the one to stay behind and keep an eye on things while also driving Juro & Megumi as far apart as I want. Gotta have fun with it!
tl;dr -- I really appreciate that we got such a robust epilogue at all, I think if you're not gonna go off the deep end about this game (...) then it's a nice way to zip things up and let you move on. And from a fanwork perspective/from the bottom of the deep end, I don't see any reason to treat it as gospel or let it ruin the experience up to that point or any of your own interpretations of the characters and their relationships. There's fun stuff in there to play with, reinterpret, deduce/reason backwards, explain away, or simply disregard. And personally I'd rather have that than have nothing at all.
wait i'm not done. my favorite character was Okino. my favorite Remembrance run overall waaaaas.... Ogata. Kyuta Shiba made me GASP and throw my Switch down. Gouto was a pain in the ass and boring until suddenly he wasn't. he has a totally minor voice line in part of Shininome's Remembrance that speared me straight thru the heart. not even the first time i heard it, probably like the 3rd time bc it's during a repetitive part where you're looking for different routes. also playing this made me even more sad that the Unicorn Overlord story didn't have any real depth to it.
stuck in an extremely specific hell loop of my own creation... driving in the rain thinking about gouto renya & shinonome ryoko AS ONE DOES RIGHT AFTER FINISHING 13 SENTINELS and the marías "i don't know you" starts playing like ok a little on the nose but also... (typing while upside down in a ditch)
based on a number of events across recent months i possess a certain je ne sais quoi that makes other people want to deal with dead mice for me #blessed
oooooo it's driving me crazy how uneven that square is!!! but that's just test square #1 so it's ok. I sort of figure I'll redo it at the very end -- I never crochet and I've just picked it up again after many years, so my tension is bound to improve over the course of the few dozen of these I'm about to make.
Here are the stats.
-it's a throw. it's for my sister's bday in 4 months.
-it uses the bones of the citrus slice pattern from "the modern guide to granny squares"
-all squares will have the same background (same color as the pith) and a gradient border
-after assembly, the blanket will reverse the gradient border, so another sc row of yellow going back out to the darker pink
-squares are 8x8. to make throw-sized i believe it'll be 6x7, or 42 squares. this feels very doable; i can easily do one square in a day without any clue what i'm doing. once i have the hang of it, 2-3 squares in a day would be fine.
-the yarn is "scheepjes soft fun". i looked at sooo many options before going with this one, but i'm really happy with it. i just couldn't find any natural yarn that had all the specific colors i wanted... i didn't want to mix and match, and i was also wary of price because crochet is so yarn thirsty compared to knitting. the scheepjes skeins are less than $4 for 140m which is fantastic. it's 60% cotton and 40% acrylic. i never work with cotton and i never work with acrylic. but i am enjoying it and really happy with my choice.
-to start with i ordered 5x of the pith/bg and 3x of all other colors. i know i will need more. according to my kitchen scale, after the first test square i'd used about 10g of the pith/bg and about 5g of the slice color. i'll need to do a little more before i'm confident enough to make a second (hopefully final) order. i'm not too worried about dye lots because the squares are discrete, so if i wash before assembly (for example) i should be able to offset any color variance during assembly.
-here was my planning before the yarn search... after confirming i could actually crochet this, i mocked up a really basic diagram and then pulled out the colored pencils. was testing on 2008 babette blanket cascade 220 yarns.... yuuuuup!
-the book has been great to practice reading charts & written instructions, which were always sort of bewildering for me. because i've made a few changes in the outer rounds, i figured i'd try to rewrite the chart (also there are a few minor errors in the printed charts I think? not positive. but to my untrained eye it seems so.) so i've been messing with stitch fiddle with... interesting results lol. placing symbols individually..... i'm sure there's a better way to do it but what am i gonna do, read a manual? grow up. i might just bust out the colored pencils again.
just showing a small part because i'm only rewriting, but... lol. god it's a mess. but i'm learning!
-the lime green i have is on the yellowish side so i think it will work. that's the second test square i'm working on now.
-fun fact: the real reason i picked crochet up again was that i am desperate to make this mosaic throw. but my first attempts were awful, so i decided i needed a lot more practice to get the muscle memory back (and TENSION!!!! ugh). so that's how i ended up here. there's a couple other stashbusting projects i have in mind, too. i'll try the mosaic again eventually!
-last thing for now, it feels criminal that this book, which is super colorful - and does not use varigated yarns in its examples - does not even discuss methods to avoid or mitigate weaving in ends. come on! in my first square, i didn't weave in any. in my second test, i'm working over the ends to see how that looks, works, and how secure it is. so far so good! thank you to the many reddit posts about the pros and cons of all these methods... for me... i know i will die if i'm weaving in 20+ ends per square. ...x42... and it's going to a childless, catless adult so like. i think it will be safe.
everything else about the book is lovely and i'd recommend it to beginning & intermediate crocheters in a heartbeat! i'm a sucker for rainbow colors... the charts and instructions are great and the reference in the back is also very clear.
ok... bye until there is fun or interesting progress to report!
the picture is all weird cause my (iphone 8) camera could not see green at ALL. it was like a fully grayscale photo so i went wild with the sliders just to try and get it remotely accurate. it's green! but a slightly cooler (less yellow) green.
this has been an extremely enjoyable project so far. in december i was talking to my friend dea about things we want to pursue in 2024 and one of the major ones for me is... i still haven't figured out a way to articulate this that i'm happy with but... taking myself more seriously? respecting myself or time more? i mean, i DO respect myself it's more about combatting bad adhd habits using different framing... something like that.
so, the two main tangible things in the goal/philosophy were: finding a new PT and really trying to fix my shoulder pain, and being more deliberate with my knitting projects.
instead of rushing into casting on and getting started: i did a real gauge swatch, maybe for the first time ever. i changed my needle size accordingly. i measured myself and did the necessary math to choose the right size. i tested the increases to make sure i was rewriting it for left-handed knitting correctly. and when i made a very minor error, i frogged back and fixed it because the error was around the part of the sweater i most want to look perfect. (the 4st band at the top of the shoulders. if you look at the photos on the pattern page you'll see it really clearly. i saw someone wearing this sweater and that was the detail that jumped out at me and that made me want to make it.)
i think it helped that i had another project - the hats - to get done so when i wanted to 'just knit' i could work on that instead. multi-tasking win?
so it's been really satisfying and i've definitely noticed improvements based on all the projects i've finished recently, for example, i picked up the shoulder stitches perfectly on both sides on the first try. i also started a dedicated project notebook which has been very helpful and is the realization of a plan i had in mind literally since high school knitting era. never too late.!
my sister and i are running a 2-person team in some upcoming toboggan races and i made us team hats. chart under the cut!
i had an idea for the pattern and messed around with chart-making software for the first time. (Stitchmastery, which I'm loving.)
the hat design itself I mostly cribbed off of Jelka size L, which happened to have the same stitch count that I needed for this 28-st repeat. My minor changes were: twisted rib for the brim, 6.75" before decreasing instead of 6.5", and also after trial and error found that size 6 (euro/4mm) needles for the brim and size 8 for the body was the right combo.
The first prototype I made with 4s & 6s was too small and the chart had zero give, so I also went from floating a max of 4 sts to floating a max of 3 (usually 2) and although a pain in the ass it did seem to help.
Finally -- I'm putting this as my first stash-busting project of the year because I used some of the old Cascade 220 that was in Fran's sweater ("Japanese Maple" I think? & the 2nd, lighter color in the pompoms is also from that sweater's leftovers), as well as the penultimate hank of my off-color wedding sweater Cascade 220! I finished the last hat with about 24" to spare, which was good cause when I pulled out the last hank to wind it I found it had disintegrated through like 10+ strands so it was gonna be a nightmare to salvage. I'm not sure if I'll hang onto that or not. Fully using 9 of 10 hanks of the bag is pretty great. I just looked up the order for fun and because the color was off spec I got the bag for under $60 in 2015. Not bad, not bad!!!
anyway in red is my very first draft and then in blue is what I ended with after messing with it a bit.
and here is the numbered chart!
I'm so sick of colorwork right now but otherwise excited to use the software more! Since I knit left-handed (left-to-right) and always have to rewrite cable and lace patterns, I thought actually rewriting them IN the software would be a good way to learn it that would also be helpful for the associated project.
I've used the same little notions bag since high school! I have never lost it! It's like a security blanket.
A small Vera Bradley bag, probably from around 2004-5? Possibly gifted to me by my mom. The chokehold Vera Bradley had in those years...!
inside:
measuring tape... don't you dare leave home without it
embroidery scissors - this is a new acquisition; I used those shitty little folding scissors for years (and still cannot part with them). These and their cute handsewn case were being sold at a craft fair we went to after Thanksgiving.
stitch markers! can you spot the wine charm I used before realizing you could buy these specially?
little silk pouch holds everything else: tapestry needles, black thread and an embroidery needle, needle threader, & a handful of random things from who knows what or where.
happily i never lost the pineapple buttons for this lil guy.
i really love everything about this yarn. it's Plymouth Yarn Company Worsted Merino Superwash. colorway 61. i'm really into yellows and purples (alone and in combination) right now.
finishing went pretty well. i was able to pick up both button bands on the first try by using the patented j.r. triforce method (hot tea, full stomach, bright light). dealing with button placement & putting them in was way less fiddly than i thought it might be. the slip stitch row around the neck edging i thought was sort of unnecessary until i started it and WOW it reeeeeally adds a nice touch, really really good. kitchenering the armholes took a minute because i couldn't remember if i do it right or left-handed. i did the first one right-handed and i had to keep checking the diagram in stitch n bitch (which i pulled out of the archives for this purpose, listen, this book was overexposed for a REASON, it's so good!) so it was slow going. for the other i tried left-handed and sure enough muscle memory took over immediately i was like... oh... duh... so in the end the only thing i wasn't thrilled about was the job i did closing the holes around the underarm after grafting. (like the holes near the base of a thumb when you make mittens.) it's possible, though not probable, that i go back and redo those...
like fran's sweater, the yarn was purchased ages ago at Lambshoppe in Denver, which is one of my all-time favorite yarn stores. we used to live nearby. it is also near a fantastic detroit-style pizza place (Blue Pan). i miss that neighborhood a lot! i really liked living in Denver.
anyway... this is destined for LA. happy to check it off the list and move on.
gentleman's delight? gentleman's blessing? i tried to write about this a few times but i don't like how it's coming out, so, whatever.
it's about my partner (this sweater is for him) and his infinite patience and support. and seeing all of the bright and shadowy parts and sharp angles of someone and loving all of them because that's what makes up their whole.
anyway, i started making it for his birthday in early 2016. when i put it down, i had the entire back and the front up to the first 3 rows or so of the chart. it was still on the needles. it and all its many skeins and the terrible pattern printout survived close to 8 yrs and 4 moves without issue. miraculously i had taken notes on the pattern about adding 3/4" to the body length. i have no notes about why i did a provisional cast-on for the body pieces, which was a royal pain in the ass to take out this morning. (there is probably a better way but as usual i'd rather spend 25 minutes suffering and muttering than look it up.)
i'm really apprehensive about Finishing School for this one. he's so thrilled that i picked it up again and i really want it to fit and look right. the body pieces are blocking now --
-- and then i'll sew the shoulders and do a short crew neck collar while the sleeves block. then i plan to review a bunch of my reference books before setting the sleeves and sewing the main seams.
fingers crossed...!
also shoutout to opening to a random page in that kaffee fasset book and being reminded that you can weave ends in as you work instead of doing them all at the end. OMG. i did this for the sleeves and it absolutely saved my sanity. i'm working on creating a really simple chart for an event but other than that i think i'm done with colorwork for awhile...
one more thing. when i was purling the (multi-ply) yarn was twisting the opposite direction which made the pattern look weird (in a bad way unfortunately). luckily the blocking has really helped this a lot but i'm really perplexed because the back, which i did originally, did NOT have this problem. my gauge hasn't changed since 2006 like it's not like i knit differently so what was past mo doing that present mo is not grasping?????
ooooo nothing better than an edelclaude projecting a divided front while secretly working together.
this would be fun for them. this is foreplay.
I was thinking about it and realized I've played around with the idea here and there, once as unexpected team-up...
The thought occurred to her that he might sense their division and seek to use it to his own advantage. In response she felt a brief wave of weariness, and then nothing at all. She ate the vegetable puree in front of her, tasting little.
Arundel smiled thinly. “The Church is patient. It’s no accident they held the position and influence they’ve had for so long.”
“Yes,” Claude agreed. “They gravitate toward power. Striking Garreg Mach was a massive blow.”
“It better have been,” Arundel sniffed. “It was our only surprise attack.”
Claude grinned widely. “Good thing Edelgard made it count.”
Edelgard looked up, the quickness of it maybe betraying her surprise.
[link - from ch. 7]
... and once as fantasy... the indulgence of which makes Edelgard feel weird so naturally she projects onto Claude...
Standing [in the Cardinal's Room at Garreg Mach] across the table from him it’s impossible not to imagine how the negotiation might have gone, with him occupying one of those chairs. Speaking on her behalf, adding a playful sharpness to her points and setting rhetorical traps for her opponents.
Or against her, watching and waiting for his moment, setting the traps around her and leading her sweetly into them.
[...]
For once, he’s not watching her. It’s worse. What alternate histories is he seeing, she wonders? Is he the one leading the discussion in them? Where is she?
“Do I have a seat? In your imagination. Am I there?”
He looks up, surprised by the question. Not what he was thinking, then, but he’ll still answer, to protect his privacy. It only takes him a moment.
“There’s no escaping you.”
[link]
... but I would love to do something with it that is more straightforward -- meaning they are, to each other, unambiguously on the same side. It is rotating in my mind. I feel like I need something fun and light to offset my two major (and majorly languishing but anyway) WIPs which have different but equally messy-beyond-repair relationship dynamics. (and when I say "beyond repair" I mean it. The whole point in one of them is that some things can't be repaired no matter how unfair it is and how much you want it...)
my new mission is finding secondhand kaffe fasset books. the natural home for these books is at a $5/bag church sale or found in the back of a quilt shop gathering dust. (not, ahem, $30 at a nyc used bookstore, come ON.)
i mean look at this. they don't do it like this anymore!!!
this book in particular, "glorious knits", from my local library, has a few color patterns i plan to use for a future design project i have in mind. but mostly his books are full of color inspiration and just enormously fun to leaf through.
greetings from hell. Let's call it Finishing School. I have been working hard to finish old projects so I can start something new. (And also... and mainly... just... for the sake of it.) Both pictured are from 2019.
Finishing School reminds me why I started gravitating only to projects in the round. This sucks. I hate it! Sewing knitwear sucks, I never remember to do selvedge, I joined this whole twist crop front thing with a crochet slip stitch because, I don't know, it just seemed more doable (emotionally) even though it doesn't look greeeeat.
About the first pic: I got too ambitious with blocking yesterday and ran out of t-pins and almost ran out of straight pins! Having the dehumidifier going downstairs (we're in a split-level) is great because things dry very fast. The baby sweater should be totally dry tomorrow and then the armpits will be kitchenered together (good, easy, looks tidy) and then it's just button bands which, whatever, seems fine.
Anyway, this varigated thing -- when we lived in LA we used to do Thanksgiving in Big Bear, where my sister's in-laws lived. It was always a really nice time. My sister's mother-in-law and I bonded over knitting and one year went to a great local yarn store up there, where I picked up this project for something to do.
Mostly I remember working on it in bed while chatting with my parents for hours at a time when COVID hit and we were all isolating. The yarn (Queensland Sunshine Coast) is a really pleasing bamboo/merino blend that feels surprisingly plush in this Irish moss stitch. It's single-ply and so the weight varied WILDLY but the pattern - which came from one of those brand print outs you get for free when you buy the yarn - is pretty loosey-goosey so that was ok.
After joining everything up I have two problems. One, I don't like the "sleeves", which seem incredibly unnecessary to begin with. So I can either take them out and re-sew them NOT using slip stitch, or take them out and instead do a separate edge and keep it sleeveless. Or just live with it, which is of course what I will do to begin with because path of least resistance.
The other issue is it's just... it's way too big. Way too much positive ease (a first for me so I am mostly amused?). This is as a result of blocking. The pattern says "block". It provides ZERO measurements. Could I have deduced the measurements? Probably! Did I? ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So I ended up overstretching the back (the front, which twists, did not get blocked) and the shoulders didn't quite line up and... it's weird.
What I'm going to do is add buttons to the sides so I can sort of cinch the bottom at my waist and according to my mirror that will look good. I will enlist my mom to help with this. That's the plan. It's meant to go over a black long-sleeved shirt. It doesn't have to be perfect, but it does have to be better than it currently is.
As far as the baby sweater goes, that's a story for another day (it isn't finished yet!!!!) or never. I'm hard pressed to think of another object that has brought as much shame or clarity to my life. But soon I shall be rid of it. And in the meantime it is so frikkin cute :')
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