raquel being a sad little religious trauma meow meow hc dump:
her “multiuse happy childhood memory” is being taken fishing by francisco starting age 11, which she will say is about her dad, her uncle & her mother depending on context.
raquel has been banned from her local church for punching an older choir boy who “made passes” at 12 year old laura.
she lost her virginity on a school camping trip at 14 as she has told the professor, she just changed private schools when words of her queerness and pictures of the act began being passed around her school. coincides with her first attempt at taking her own life.
she spends summer in a church camp and is accepted home when she promises “to change” and do better at a new school.
her mother heavily disagrees with her “episode” and commits her to sunday school, and being part of her church’s volunteer group. marivi would later in life apologize and repent for her homophobia, but the episodes leave raquel never quite able to feel safe in her own home.
she takes religious studies as her second major because there are no women at her university taking it. it feels like a safe space, far from “temptations”.
she meets her first wife and gets married to her through the university library. she is a law & philosophy double major, and they debate on way too many things, most of them related to spirituality. raquel’s father disowns her, and is in turn disowned by her mother, her siblings & raquel herself.
when raquel & soledad get divorced, it becomes apparent it is because of her tendency to see it all as sin and virtues, black and white, you never see in between the lines raquel.
she meets alberto when he’s dying, an undercover narcotics officer hooked on what he’s busting. she lulls a young man to sleep with psalms and bible verses, and he wakes up and asks for her name the day after. he’s an ex choir boy, a barcelona born and bred that laughs at her little church memories in what seems to be good faith, but taquel can’t tell.
living in sin, does not awake much from raquel when this is seemingly all she has been doing her entire life. they go to church on sundays together, she and alberto, with colonel and inspectora vicuna and the sister diana who never really liked raquel that much. they hate that their son is lowering himself to her, she knows. she also knows inspectora vicuna trembles around her husband, looks lost with her arms around her, and accepts being called stupid over dinners, so isn’t it obvious what the colonel wants?
she and alberto go fishing together. he tells her he wants an open relationship.
it is expected to a degree that the hush-hush marriage and pregnancy are not to be tolerated by the colonel, an odd remainder of raquel’s own father as she dissociates at the announcement dinner. when he begins throwing the plates at herself, it is instinct, it is stabbing him in the throat with a fork and blowing his brains out to the terror of her zoned out mother in law.
the scene is clean, she is clean in her mother in law’s sunday church dress that night, one she doesn’t take off until the morning after. alberto comforts her for what it’s worth, it takes more courage than i have, mi vida. she begins finding his stash of drugs, his pornography and his tune changes.
paula is angel, her mother says, and raquel has to believe her.
laura does not remember to stay away from church choir boys, but raquel must acknowledge she cannot punch every man in her life, no matter how much she wants to. she tells her to go to hell the last time they speak, in the courtroom, and alberto gets visitation.
raquel takes sergio & the children fishing, but for the better part of it she’s brooding, distant, unreachable.
vaporwave
2087
kianamaiart
baratheonpilled
gummygunk
germansingergirl
kaledo-art
