Primordial Soup for the Soul

Just a Pervy Vampire Please support my coffee addiction at KOFI

[nooshka-arts]

A comic to try and sort through some difficult feelings about being an artist and a reminder to not forget who you are.

[nekojirou]

I feel this. My whole life I've been working, trying to earn money, to be independent. I LOVE working, I love earning money. I'll take any job back then but I weirdly always get jobs related to arts. I had no trouble getting a job, I always thought if you have no money you must be just lazy. Then, lay-off happened. "Fuck it, I'll work in animation" I said to myself knowing the bad things about it and most people said it's low-income job. Not totally low-income if there's project. Recently there's very few, a studio I'm currently employed to only gives handout to those who trained under them, another one currently have no show, previous studio I won't go back to because they actually suck (I won't admit it to them because it's where I learned a lot but also felt I'm worthless despite earning money). The reality is I'm actually "employed" to two studios, both have no job for me! I'm ranting here, but I also currently feeling the fact that AI will take-over my job and I have nothing else I can do after finding my passion, I don't wanna work on anything else. But currently waiting for the 3d class to be filled (we can't start until the slot's complete) and I SWEAR this will be my last shot on working on my passion. If I still fail and land no stable job, I just don't know what to actually do. I NEED to move-out. I'd rather DIE than staying in this place please just...

[plottwiststudios]

Would You Like to Be My Patron?

Visit Original Link

Visit Original Link

No, not Patreon! No typos, here, you! The old school patron! I am in modest need of income to offset upcoming bills these next several months. So if you like original music for your project(s), but stressed about budget or AI scams, do I have the solution for you! Or both of us, you could say! *Double finger points*

I am a soundtrack composer of much range and experience, and can have you covered if you like beautiful emotional soundtracks, weird experimental compositions, horror, ambience, and all sorts of instrumentals. And yes, for those with fully realized soundtracks of ample tracks, I do love me some themes/leitmotifs. As heard below!

Visit Original Link

Visit Original Link

I'm currently looking for a small group of people who are interested in my unique style of music, that would be willing to pay monthly for a few months for the following reasons:

To stay away from my near-literally thankless job at Walmart Automotive

Have a dedicated day of making music every week instead of squeezing it in on busy weekends where I'm doing "Women of Xal II" production work. (Among other things)

Make paying for upcoming Bills of Necessary Inconvenience less a practice in futility

So What's the Cost???

Typically, it's $250USD for up to 90 seconds due to time constraints, but the goal is to find folks who need music/payments monthly throughout 2026. That makes monthly rates negotiable. (Depending on what is wanted, how many months, and how many others are adding to the pool.)

So please! If you have a video game, or a particularly bold series, feel free to contact me via email or Discord! Clients that cover the bulk of the monthly quota get priority!

Email: [email protected]

Discord: PlotTwistStudios

Credits (Only full soundtracks mentioned):

Ithaqua Labs' Brilliant Shadows and Pale Spectrum

Plottwist Studios' Women of Xal I and II

NASA Develop

JPDE Studios' JPDE

[plottwiststudios]

Don't make me bring out the bells!

[nekojirou]

Shout out to @john-doe-will-stay-dormant for discovering this show and making my notif busy! 😆 (you can talk to me about this show ANYTIME)

[nekojirou]

Rendered Nona

My Commissions still open btw!

[nekojirou]

My OC Nona trying to be cute (she probably did something bad)

My Commissions still open btw!

[fran-aka-mak]

NAKAHIRO SUMMER WEEK: DAY 4 YOUR NATIONALITY 🇵🇭

PH mentioned!!

so i made a 19th century spanish-era ph AU… a bit niche, but i felt a lot of filipinos have their own modern AUs na ^^

disclaimer: i tried my best to translate from eng-tag but it might be a bit rough since i have limited knowledge on both those languages T^T (and my family who is good at the language is conservative..)

english ver under the cut!

[nekojirou]

I'm recently trying to watch Witch Hat Atelier... "Trying" because I just can't get into it like I did with Frieren and Dungeon Meshi. I think they all have similar vibes but watching Witch Hat really felt like a chore. Don't get me wrong: if I say it's "bad", I'd be lying. The animation, the art... every bit of it is amazing! Maybe that's what reminded me of those two other shows. To be honest, I usually get obsessed with shows if I have a crush on some characters, maybe that's why I'm not obsessed with Dungeon Meshi and Frieren, BUT I enjoyed those show A LOT. Call me boring but watching Frieren calms me. I liked Frieren's pace since I first watched it. In Dungeon Meshi, I didn't instantly think highly of it (aside from animation and art, of course!) but slowly it pulled me, by the time Laios fed his leg to the Red Dragon and said to himself that his sister endured worse, my heart ached and the suspense gripped me.

But in Witch Hat Atelier... the story is alright. Maybe I just can't relate to Coco? Because if it was me I'd be having a psychological breakdown for weeks even if you show me things I love. But of course, she believes she can still save her mom, maybe that's the reason for her lack of intense urgency...? But, there's still something lacking I can't pinpoint. Also the art, despite being intensely beautiful and obviously had much effort put on, there are times like it's a bit distracting. Like it's giving me vertigo.

Quite unrelated but I watched the movie Obsession with my sister. It's predictable, low-budget, not the most scariest thing I ever saw (for the record, my scariest film emotionally is Hereditary. Pure scary like keep-my-back-on-the-wall scary is Episode 2 of Cabinet of Curiosities: Graveyard of Rats) BUT I liked it! It was well-acted, some scenes are bit disturbing but it was very entertaining. It made me wonder how people with psychosis or schizo felt, like after they did something out of character, specially because I know someone who suffered it. Thinking about being in those situation makes me feel scared and, like Nikki did in the end and some times when her "real" self surfaces: I will scream and panic. Maybe that's how I want Coco to react...? Something more panicky, scared and disturbed...? Something relatable...?

[nekojirou]

I just wanna rant how I was playing a random game on ogs and was about to go to work (just a stress-relief because my deadline's killing me) and the guy I'm in the same local Go club with invited me to play. I accepted it mindlessly and he was online so I thought it'll just be a fast game so I accepted. Turns out he given me 5 STONE HANDICAP (this person is just a teeeeny bit stronger than me, or maybe even same strength). Ok, I guess if I lose this game this will prove he's actually THAT strong. A guy who's waaaay stronger than him gave me only 4 stone handicap so this way he'll prove he got stronger than that other guy too. We played a few moves, he was taking his time to think (around 10min each move, no problem if I'm not in a deadline), he celebrated when he caught four of my stones, but when we get to the part where we're about to cross swords, he asked for a break. It was his turn. I said ok. I ate and get back to work. After an hour, he messaged me and said we resume. I resumed because I was the one who paused. If I ran out of pause because of him, it'll be too unfair for me. We played a few moves then he suddenly took too long to move. I was annoyed because I have something else to do. After AN HOUR he messaged me again saying something came up and he'll NEED ME TO PAUSE IT AGAIN. IT WAS HIS TURN. I PAUSED AGAIN. Then I waited while I was working and it threw me off my concentration. It was a fight and I know I'm about to kill his group and I was excited how he'll counter me. I was itching for a good fight BUT he never messaged again UNTIL MIDNIGHT. I recently avoid doing anything after midnight so I just ignored his message. The game was paused for MONTHS. It was back on March so I was about to just resign the game because I'd rather lose than to play a stale game and I hate playing too long games because the opponent can look for counter using AI but I decided to un-pause it instead because it's actually his fault for leaving me hanging for so long, only to find this:

HE'S GOT 6DAYS AND 6HOURS TO MAKE HIS MOVE. IT MIGHT EVEN HAVE BYO-YOMI SO I MIGHT WAIT LONGER JUST TO FINISH THIS DAMNED GAME.

And here's the game. It's white's turn. I actually feel like I improved a bit now so I believe if I played this game today, my moves will be different, but it's a handicap game so I might just go crazy too, idk. But next time, I won't mindlessly accept a game specially if it takes a century before time limit. Seems the guy's proving something...

[nekojirou]

UPDATE: As I suspected, there's a 5-round byo-yomi and he got 4 days left, I guess...?

[nekojirou]

Another update: ANYTHING but making a move.

He noticed he only got 15 hours left so he gone and put his profile on vacation.

[nekojirou]

FINAL UPDATE: I won by timeout. I blocked the guy. Won't play with him again unless he talks to me in person about this.

[nekojirou]

Why is that the Collins Classics print of Arabian Nights incomplete?!?! I'm three stories so far and none has proper ending! I think the first one (about King Shahryar) can be taken as complete on its own IF you just don't know that he took wives after he executed his queen and killed every single one of them after their first nights until a certain woman told him stories that kept him from executing her... but in this version, it just ended with him vowing to never trust any woman after his first wife's execution...?! Sir Richard Burton's translation can be quite hard to read if you're not familiar with old english but somehow more manageable than Shakespeare's. But what the heck is this?! Why is it incomplete?!?!?!

I do NOT recommend buying this book. Just got it on sale and was hoping to read something whimsy or absurd unlike most depressing things I usually read. I don't think I need more depression and existential dread than I'm currently experiencing BUT buying this book doesn't help a bit. I saw one version with a fancy cover and easier translation but it's too far from my place and more expensive so I just settled with this one, which I now regret.

Also, I actually read it because I read Kafka on the Shore once (I immediately sell the book after. I think it's beautifully written but I hated it) and the Kafka character was reading Arabian Nights so I thought I might read it as well. Now, I know why Murakami is so misogynistic.

[nekojirou]

I just wanna rant how I was playing a random game on ogs and was about to go to work (just a stress-relief because my deadline's killing me) and the guy I'm in the same local Go club with invited me to play. I accepted it mindlessly and he was online so I thought it'll just be a fast game so I accepted. Turns out he given me 5 STONE HANDICAP (this person is just a teeeeny bit stronger than me, or maybe even same strength). Ok, I guess if I lose this game this will prove he's actually THAT strong. A guy who's waaaay stronger than him gave me only 4 stone handicap so this way he'll prove he got stronger than that other guy too. We played a few moves, he was taking his time to think (around 10min each move, no problem if I'm not in a deadline), he celebrated when he caught four of my stones, but when we get to the part where we're about to cross swords, he asked for a break. It was his turn. I said ok. I ate and get back to work. After an hour, he messaged me and said we resume. I resumed because I was the one who paused. If I ran out of pause because of him, it'll be too unfair for me. We played a few moves then he suddenly took too long to move. I was annoyed because I have something else to do. After AN HOUR he messaged me again saying something came up and he'll NEED ME TO PAUSE IT AGAIN. IT WAS HIS TURN. I PAUSED AGAIN. Then I waited while I was working and it threw me off my concentration. It was a fight and I know I'm about to kill his group and I was excited how he'll counter me. I was itching for a good fight BUT he never messaged again UNTIL MIDNIGHT. I recently avoid doing anything after midnight so I just ignored his message. The game was paused for MONTHS. It was back on March so I was about to just resign the game because I'd rather lose than to play a stale game and I hate playing too long games because the opponent can look for counter using AI but I decided to un-pause it instead because it's actually his fault for leaving me hanging for so long, only to find this:

HE'S GOT 6DAYS AND 6HOURS TO MAKE HIS MOVE. IT MIGHT EVEN HAVE BYO-YOMI SO I MIGHT WAIT LONGER JUST TO FINISH THIS DAMNED GAME.

And here's the game. It's white's turn. I actually feel like I improved a bit now so I believe if I played this game today, my moves will be different, but it's a handicap game so I might just go crazy too, idk. But next time, I won't mindlessly accept a game specially if it takes a century before time limit. Seems the guy's proving something...

[nekojirou]

UPDATE: As I suspected, there's a 5-round byo-yomi and he got 4 days left, I guess...?

[nekojirou]

Another update: ANYTHING but making a move.

He noticed he only got 15 hours left so he gone and put his profile on vacation.

[nekojirou]

Went to an interview yesterday for a job I'm sure 100% qualified (BL manga artist) but was disappointed that the interviewer obviously doesn't know ANYTHING about art (she asked me if I CAN DRAW, RIGHT AFTER I TOLD HER I WAS AN ANIMATOR FOR YEARS. Answered her "you won't be hired as an animator if you CAN'T draw real good") and it only lasted 10min. She said they'll just call me within the week if I passed, "but there's a good side" she said "if you won't get hired here: you'll have the chance to apply for another job!". At that point I want to smash her face. Got home very sad, I know I can't make it so I just slept all day. Woke up, walked outside and found 1000 pesos on the road.

I bought her cat food.

[nekojirou]

Opened VGen Commissions!

Nekojirou (@Nekojirou)

Check out Nekojirou's commissions and portfolio! | 2D Animator and Illustrator Currently open for commissions ...

Life fucked me up again, got bills to pay, needs to study 3d to upskill (I don't know why I'm doing this, after all, AI is taking over my job!), BIR asking me to pay something beyond my current capacity because I was stupid enough to not know how to file tax, possible need to move-out because of that 3d course (it's almost 5hrs travel away from my house I'm NOT even exaggerating!), currently no job, so yeah... please help out this poor little thing and I'm willing to work my ass for it!

[nekojirou]

I just wanna rant how I was playing a random game on ogs and was about to go to work (just a stress-relief because my deadline's killing me) and the guy I'm in the same local Go club with invited me to play. I accepted it mindlessly and he was online so I thought it'll just be a fast game so I accepted. Turns out he given me 5 STONE HANDICAP (this person is just a teeeeny bit stronger than me, or maybe even same strength). Ok, I guess if I lose this game this will prove he's actually THAT strong. A guy who's waaaay stronger than him gave me only 4 stone handicap so this way he'll prove he got stronger than that other guy too. We played a few moves, he was taking his time to think (around 10min each move, no problem if I'm not in a deadline), he celebrated when he caught four of my stones, but when we get to the part where we're about to cross swords, he asked for a break. It was his turn. I said ok. I ate and get back to work. After an hour, he messaged me and said we resume. I resumed because I was the one who paused. If I ran out of pause because of him, it'll be too unfair for me. We played a few moves then he suddenly took too long to move. I was annoyed because I have something else to do. After AN HOUR he messaged me again saying something came up and he'll NEED ME TO PAUSE IT AGAIN. IT WAS HIS TURN. I PAUSED AGAIN. Then I waited while I was working and it threw me off my concentration. It was a fight and I know I'm about to kill his group and I was excited how he'll counter me. I was itching for a good fight BUT he never messaged again UNTIL MIDNIGHT. I recently avoid doing anything after midnight so I just ignored his message. The game was paused for MONTHS. It was back on March so I was about to just resign the game because I'd rather lose than to play a stale game and I hate playing too long games because the opponent can look for counter using AI but I decided to un-pause it instead because it's actually his fault for leaving me hanging for so long, only to find this:

HE'S GOT 6DAYS AND 6HOURS TO MAKE HIS MOVE. IT MIGHT EVEN HAVE BYO-YOMI SO I MIGHT WAIT LONGER JUST TO FINISH THIS DAMNED GAME.

And here's the game. It's white's turn. I actually feel like I improved a bit now so I believe if I played this game today, my moves will be different, but it's a handicap game so I might just go crazy too, idk. But next time, I won't mindlessly accept a game specially if it takes a century before time limit. Seems the guy's proving something...

[nekojirou]

UPDATE: As I suspected, there's a 5-round byo-yomi and he got 4 days left, I guess...?

[nekojirou]

Anyone here in Manila who wants to learn 3D? Tesda have a free NCIII course and we can't start it unless the slot is complete! 😭 Please dm me or comment here!

[tamsywindsup]

From Dorohedoro Season 2 ending theme "Return to Head" MV

[nekojirou]

I just wanna rant how I was playing a random game on ogs and was about to go to work (just a stress-relief because my deadline's killing me) and the guy I'm in the same local Go club with invited me to play. I accepted it mindlessly and he was online so I thought it'll just be a fast game so I accepted. Turns out he given me 5 STONE HANDICAP (this person is just a teeeeny bit stronger than me, or maybe even same strength). Ok, I guess if I lose this game this will prove he's actually THAT strong. A guy who's waaaay stronger than him gave me only 4 stone handicap so this way he'll prove he got stronger than that other guy too. We played a few moves, he was taking his time to think (around 10min each move, no problem if I'm not in a deadline), he celebrated when he caught four of my stones, but when we get to the part where we're about to cross swords, he asked for a break. It was his turn. I said ok. I ate and get back to work. After an hour, he messaged me and said we resume. I resumed because I was the one who paused. If I ran out of pause because of him, it'll be too unfair for me. We played a few moves then he suddenly took too long to move. I was annoyed because I have something else to do. After AN HOUR he messaged me again saying something came up and he'll NEED ME TO PAUSE IT AGAIN. IT WAS HIS TURN. I PAUSED AGAIN. Then I waited while I was working and it threw me off my concentration. It was a fight and I know I'm about to kill his group and I was excited how he'll counter me. I was itching for a good fight BUT he never messaged again UNTIL MIDNIGHT. I recently avoid doing anything after midnight so I just ignored his message. The game was paused for MONTHS. It was back on March so I was about to just resign the game because I'd rather lose than to play a stale game and I hate playing too long games because the opponent can look for counter using AI but I decided to un-pause it instead because it's actually his fault for leaving me hanging for so long, only to find this:

HE'S GOT 6DAYS AND 6HOURS TO MAKE HIS MOVE. IT MIGHT EVEN HAVE BYO-YOMI SO I MIGHT WAIT LONGER JUST TO FINISH THIS DAMNED GAME.

And here's the game. It's white's turn. I actually feel like I improved a bit now so I believe if I played this game today, my moves will be different, but it's a handicap game so I might just go crazy too, idk. But next time, I won't mindlessly accept a game specially if it takes a century before time limit. Seems the guy's proving something...

[nekojirou]

Having a kitty makes me think I might actually been a cat person all along.

[nekojirou]

I need to follow-up about Maomao (the orange cat) because I'm so busy and about to sleep. So apparently, he's a male. He sent my whole family (that's only 3 of us) to the clinic because he scratched us all. That doesn't made me love him less, and I tolerated him shitting anywhere in the house. Sometimes, I get a surprise shit in the living room, that type of ass personality he has. But what hurt me was that he was trying to get out everytime the door was opened. He got outside and my annoying neighbor decided to feed him dry food (which isn't good for his digestion) that caused him to have soupy shit. For days, whenever he managed to escape my clutches, my animal-lover neighbor decided to feed him food that isn't ok for him. Until one day, he didn't came back. He's not in our neighbor (I don't want to talk to my neighbor but you'll know it if my cat is there because she's noisy... and nosy) and he's not anywhere I searched. He didn't seem to got hit by vehicles either. But I lost him and it's negligence in my part. I was mourning. I was a bit angry he left me. He used to watch tv with me. He was my only companion in this house and he left me. I didn't want another cat after him BUT my idiot brother sent me a pic of a tortoise shell cat from our aunt, saying she wants to give me this cat (mostly because they have a dog who the cat didn't get along with) and my bro was so excited he even bought a litter box before the cat arrived so I had no choice but to accept (I'm the only one taking care of the pets. My siblings are useless, they'll NEVER clean the litter box) and so when the cat - Layla, arrived, I decided to change her name into "Pudding" because her color reminds me of the local puding bread.

That's Pudding. She's the prettiest.

And I love her instantly! She clings to me, she only uses her litter box and not mess anywhere, she chases mice, insects, cockroach, spiders, earthworm (I'm worried about lizards because I like them. Haven't seen some dead ones though, maybe she don't hurt them). She watches me everytime I work, keeping a proper distance without disturbing me, but allowing me to hug her for 10sec before slipping off my grip. She even listens and reacts to everything I say 😭 I love my girlie cat!

That's her giving me personal space

But one day as I was cleaning, I accidentally stepped on her so she bit my ankle like her life depended on it. I only got booster shot because I already got anti-rabies last year since Maomao scratched us.

So yeah, we're mad at each other for an hour. Mostly it was me who's mad but I have to forgive her since she's hungry and asking for food. I just can't stay mad at this cutiepie.

But I'm worried because she learned how to go to the roof and wander a bit outside. She prefer staying in whenever I'm home (which is most of the time) but I'm worried she might get pregnant outside or worse, she might leave like Maomao did.

But overall, I'm proud she's growing into a fine, young lady. I hope she won't leave me soon.