I'm ngl, Mark was the core of NCT💀 he was in every damn unit so yeah...
I fear this is the real beginning of the end. I don't have much to say as he was never my bias or one of my fav members. Even I can acknowledge that Mark was....one of the most important NCT members. So yeah this is crazy.
I know I will see NCT 127 again this year bc I am going to kcon. Crazy work to believe I am done with kpop(idk why anyone would think that lmaooo) when I'm seeing BTS, probably traveling for enha, and going to kcon this yr still💀 like no, this is panning out to be one of the worst years ever. I need this stupid shit now more than ever!!!!! This was supposed to be my like.....goodbye to Enhypen year. Not as a fan, but as far as going to tours/events. I was ready to shut that chapter off now that I have met them, but now with Heeseung leaving, I am kind of concerned that this is also it for them. My optional 'goodbye' doesn't feel like a choice anymore.
I have repeatedly said I love all of Enhypen. Heeseung is still my favorite and I don't think anything can change that, my memories specifically with him are too special and meaningful to me. But that doesn't automatically make me dislike or love any of the other 6 any less. They have been a very important and healing group to me. I am hurt by the way this has all been handled and definitely have a sour taste in my mouth about it but I know the members are not the ones to blame, at least not fully. Its harder to ignore how badly this was rolled especially now after Mark's departure. Its tough to watch NCT be so honest about this while Enha can't even mention Heeseung's name anymore and belift try to erase him from everything.
I have a lot of thoughts that I'm still trying to process myself about everything. As a fan, I don't care much. My emotional attachment to NCT was cut the second Taeil news broke. I cried back then because I felt betrayed as a fan, not over the actual men in this group. I have been stagnant and disassociated as their fan with 2 years now it feels. Even the last time I saw them, I didn't know half of the songs they performed bc I struggle to listen to them. I think after that experience the Heeseung news didn't hit me that hard, I can't lie.
My bff keeps telling me I'm handling the Heeseung situation really well and she would have lost her mind if this was her bias but I'm like......hasn't every group not just been a complete let down? lol. I never thought Enhypen would be one of those groups but it definitely lessens the blow for me that I've been through this time and time again now.
I kind of just accept kpop for what it is now. I worry for whatever Heeseung's future will be after this but I also worry about what NCT's will be too since I am still a fan of a few members. By 'fan' I mean, I support them and check in on updates of them online.
I think EXO being my first love in kpop, going from 12(9 when I found them) members to now 5, says a lot. Like this is a joke atp. I do NOT want to see that happen to more groups I once made amazing memories with. My best advice is to have fun, and don't put too much of yourself in this. It's still music at the end of the day, and being a fan girl is so much fun. It can be devastating at times, but you have to look at the bright side. All good things come to and end eventually, but never forget, they were so so so good🫂💖
