pt.1 celtshin analysis
two egoists and their (not so?) true love
later I'll drop one or two more parts (whether you want it or not). I'm permanently obsessed with them. so stay tuned...!
all quotes are from: Durarara! light novel by Ryohgo Narita (obviously. but. copyright thing. so. yep)
shinra's pov
it is obvious that shinra's love is egoistic and dangerous.
yes:
I’d prefer to lead a normal romantic life <...> That would be best of all
but:
I’d like for my beloved to be happy forever, too, of course, but that will always be second place for me
If I needed to <...> I would be a villain <...> it wouldn’t be for her sake exactly. It would be for my sake
In fact, it’s probably closer to a desire to own her than to love her. So if she was drifting away from me for some reason…I would do whatever it takes to keep her at my side <...>
also shinra is ready to manipulate celty's feeling of guilt to keep her
<…> maybe I’d lie and say, ‘It’s your fault I became a murderer!’ and make her feel really guilty about it. Then maybe she’ll stay with me forever
and in the end shinra basically was ready to kill a person – himself, which would make celty feel even more guilty than she already did. it actually worked, celty (after losing head again) had to turn back and help shinra. love it.
but shinra really likes celty both for her appearance and personality (this is an exact quote as i can recall). he tries as he can (even to an absurd degree) to show that he accepts every single aspect of hers, as long as she doesn't dare to leave him
If you wanted to destroy all humanity, I would turn traitor on my species and assist you! I would be happy to die in your arms as the last remaining human being
I would love you without reservation, Celty, whether you had a human head, or a cardboard head, or some amalgamation of slugs and earthworms!
in general shinra doesn't care if celty genuinely wants to be with him. what he cares about is to keep her whatever it takes
My dream is very simple. I want to continue to love the person I love forever. I want to be with her forever. That's all
celty's pov
the opposite, celty doesn't think that shinra has a pleasant personality. she accepts him too in her own way, but it's normal for her to openly criticise, judge, insult and beat him
anyway, celty still wants to be with him, even though she doesn't clearly understand why
<…> She felt both ashamed of that behavior and secretly pleased at the reminder of how much she loved him.
Honestly, I wonder…why did I fall in love with him?
just one of the reasons – celty is afraid of abandonment and being left alone (even with nonstop lovebombing by shinra).
if shinra likes to provoke celty's different emotions (because he likes all about her in general), then celty likes to provoke shinra's proof of love (because she likes to be loved)
Shinra asked, “Yumasaki, will you show me those comics later? Just the ones about the dullahan, thank you.”
“Shinra!”
“Don’t worry, Celty! It’s not like I’ll take any woman, as long as she’s a dullahan! <…>”
from another chapter, Celty's words
Also, is the insinuation here that you would take any woman without a head?
celty gets her kind of egoistic profit from being loved, because her sense of self value depends from shinra's love directly.
btw celty's favorite saying from official info:
[That person] loves me… and how precious I have become to myself
also (less dangerous than shinra but) celty tends to neglect others' (and shinra's too) will and feelings because of her own ones.
conversation between celty when she wasn't so changed yet by living among humans and kid shinra:
“I am too different from human beings. If you live with me long enough,you will dislike me.”
“I don’t know about that.”
“It’s true,” she said, trying to distance herself from him
after reconnecting with her previous identity but not losing memory celty said (about all people in tokyo but especially about shinra):
I regret that you have wasted your time being manipulated by a system that was not meant to exist in this place. It is an outcome that leaves no one happy
she rationalized it all, explained through some good deeds for others, but actually she just tried to calm and distract herself from her pain. she is kind of latent and "saint" egoist
i think we should also rate celty's actions remembering she's a dullahan. celty (after losing her head) always kept in mind that she is bad at fulfilling her dullahan duty and acting according to some greater will as she should. especially that her influence on shinra is not very good. she didn't fully forgive herself, but she learned to let herself be like that. many years ago shinra was the first comfort person for celty after she lost her identity, so she got somehow addicted to the feelings of home and love that he can bring her. for "a system" fulfilling its duty this is really egoistic
both!
but actually shinra and celty made each other better
shinra helped celty not to lose her identity again (changed by human society). earlier celty didn't just want to reconnect with her head and live like before, she didn't even just struggle between living with shinra and bringing her head back. these options weren't so opposite to celty, she just didn't completely realise how much her previous identity would affect her current life
“I’m not going to leave you just because I get my head back—”
“That might be your desire— but it might not be your head’s”
celty already started to think about not leaving shinra when he was little
“Then…if I don’t get tired of you, will you promise to stay here?”
“If that’s true, I’ll consider it.”
and in the end shinra helped celty to solve her inner conflict by severing her head and body again (changed celty decided not to reunite with her head while shinra is alive, this reunion was forced. just some greater will connected with her previous identity leaded her to leave, while changed celty was struggling)
I'd think shinra helped celty to build her own personal will above duty. this is so beautiful
and celty is like an anchor for shinra. he often notices her kind and soft personality, exalted ideals. and he likes to blend with these traits himself in front of celty. shinra's own personality was builded under strong celty's influence anyway. also, he just likes to impress her and do the things that (in his opinion) will be approved by her, will make him closer to her mentally (that's why shinra protected izaya from nakura, always helped anri, helped akane, supported kasane emotionally after rejecting her – earlier celty said him to beg forgiveness from all the girls he brutally rejected in school)
shinra still wants and loves to feel that celty accepts him, because celty became the first and only reliable, responsible close person in his life. yes, shinra did many awful things because of celty, but he did truly existing good things too. doesn't matter what motivation he had, i think the result is more important here.