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@nephix
your life is not an optimization problem
as in you'll never achieve the perfect daily routine, sleep schedule, coping mechanisms, mannerisms, fashion sense etc. even after years and years of healing and improvement and self-discovery. you will never be so good at life that you manage to utilize every waking moment. its great to be productive and all but sometimes you'll suck ass. sometimes you'll take eight hours to be done with a twenty minute job. you'll prioritize the wrong thing. you'll sleep for 12 hrs just to avoid being awake. you'll relapse. and you'll relapse again. you'll forget to turn in the assignment. you'll order too little food. life is far too large and complex for you to even experience it completely, much less try to make sense of and control it. you can't. please give up on that and be at peace with the hours you lose. they are not separate from your life.
got a lovehate relationship with routine and repetition. yes if you put me in a repetitive situation i will start chewing on myself like a caged animal. but also no if you interrupt my self imposed routines i will start crying. this has made me so super good at being in the workforce #trust
5 Tiny Writing Tips That Arenât Talked About Enough (but work for me)
These are some lowkey underrated tips Iâve seen floating around writing communities â the kind that donât get flashy attention but seriously changed how I write.
1. Put âhe/she/theyâ at the start of the sentence less often.
Try switching up your sentence rhythm. Instead of
âShe walked to the window,â
try
âThe window creaked open under her touch.â
Keeps it fresh and stops the paragraph from sounding like a checklist.
2. Donât describe everything â describe what matters.
Instead of listing every detail in a room, pick 2â3 objects that say something.
âA half-drunk mug of tea and a knife on the tableâ
sets a way stronger tone than
âThere was a wooden table, two chairs, and a shelf.â
3. Use beats instead of dialogue tags sometimes.
Instead of:
"I'm fine," she said.
Try:
"I'm fine." She wiped her hands on her skirt.
It helps shows emotion, and movement.
4. Write your first draft like no one will ever read it.
No pressure. No perfection. Just vibes. The point of draft one is to exist. Let it be messy and weird â future you will thank you for at least something to edit.
5. When stuck, ask: âWhatâs the most fun thing that could happen next?â
Not logical. Not realistic. FUN. It doesnât have to stay â but chasing excitement can blast through writerâs block and give you ideas you actually want to write.
Whatâs a tip that unexpectedly helped with your writing? Let me know!! đ
Them â¨đ
how to get back up again : a list of things you can try
make sure you get 8-9 hours of sleep every night no exceptions, donât go on your phone before sleeping, donât go on your phone immediately after waking up, stretch first thing in the morning, spend as little time in bed as possible during the day,
pick up everything off your bedroom floor, keep an organized desk and nightstand, make your wardrobe feel like you (whether that be getting rid of or adding items), decorate your bedroom so it feels like the ultimate space for you, deep clean you room,
make your desired screen time a nonnegotiable, read literally anything whether itâs fiction or self help please just read and do whatever you can to make it a daily practice, introduce yourself to something new thatâll make a regular appearance in your life whether that be a completely new hobby/skill to practice or a new place youâll frequent, let yourself discover new interests, dedicate time for (preferably screen-less) hobbies every single day, get serious about one thing youâve been procrastinating on lately,
make skincare a nonnegotiable everyday, reassess your skincare routine (are there products you might wanna cut out or any new products you wanna give a try? is this routine the absolute best one for you?), craft a hair care routine, pamper the rest of your body the way you do your face,
start a hydration streak thatâll get the ball rolling for a proper water intake everyday, find new meals to try, daily fruit intake, find a workout thatâll be easy for you to do on the days you donât feel motivated, incorporate things into your everyday thatâll make being present more easier and desirable,
make a list of activities you want to try, live as little in your head as possible, identify and cut out habits that tend to lead you into a rut, do something about the relationships that drain your energy, realize that you are responsible for your own life, learn how to enjoy your own company, build a relationship with yourself, live according to you not what anyone or anything expects out of you,
practice doing things that are boring or not stimulating, set aside time every single day (no exceptions) for something you genuinely love, let go of old ideas of yourself that donât serve you and allow yourself to change, take every single chance to get out of the house and get fresh air
A Burst of Light, Audre Lorde
coming out of academic burn out. ἍáĄ
burn out is so real, and unfortunately it affects too many of us. burn out feels like every fiber of your being just gave up on you; it feels like youâve lost every single ounce of motivation and inspiration. itâs draining. you feel exhausted, bored, frustrated, and lost. but letâs take a deep dive into getting out of academic burn out and work on bringing back that spark you once had for your education.
ŕ¨ŕ§ â give yourself a break
this is, in my opinion, the most important thing to do when you start experiencing some kind of academic burn out.
take a break: things to do instead of doomscrolling
i am 100% a victim of doomscrolling, and it is so hard to bring myself to do something else when social media can so instantly give me something to "do". before defaulting to doomscrolling, consider other activities..
low energy â˘Â°. *ŕż
paint your nails
do some coloring, sketching, doodling, painting
journaling (get thoughts out, prompt)
scrapbook, vision board (physical or digital)
read/write poetry
write letters
press flowers
crossword, word search, word puzzles
organizing photo albums
listen to podcast
read a book / listen to audio book
re-arrange a small space in your room
sit outside -- cloud watching, laying in the grass, relaxing
medium energy đ đ đ đ đ
bake something new
practice an instrument / sing covers
do some crafting
reorganize your space or furniture
write a story based on a random prompt generator
yoga, stretching, light pilates
start learning a new language, penmanship
voice memo journaling
take a walk without your phone
go thrifting, to a museum, to a library
design a custom wallpaper
check out a place you haven't been t
make a page/note and list your favorite things
high energy .đĽ Ý Ë âŚ â§âË â
try a new art medium you haven't tried
upcycle old clothing
learn a new skill
go on a solo date
make a mini gallery/photo wall
make up or learn a dance routine
do something you love but haven't done in a while
film vlogs or creative videos
My Dopamine Menuâ๨ŕ§ËâĄ.â˘
A dopamine menu is a list of tasks that you enjoy doing such as hobbies or random things you like doing! Adding tasks from your dopamine menu into your every day routines is a good way to avoid doom scrolling on TikTok or Instagram reels. These tasks don't need to be super complex they can be very simple little things you enjoy, for example it could be making fake online shopping carts or organizing your jewelry! Whatever is enjoyable to you.
With that being said here is my personal example of a dopamine menu:
⥠Do a face mask
⥠Paint nailsÂ
⥠Read (online blogs, books)
⥠Journal about whatever / make fun lists
⥠Post on TumblrÂ
⥠Scroll through Pinterest and make new boards with fun prompts (ex: boards for a song's vibe)
⥠Make new Spotify playlistsÂ
⥠Work on websiteÂ
⥠Work on blogÂ
⥠Bake a sweet treat
⥠Go on a little walk outside ( I do "intuition walks where you just walk around with no destination in mind, just making turns where it feels right)
⥠Organize my room & drawers
⥠Look through old photos Â
⥠Water color paint
⥠Draw on ProcreateÂ
⥠Doodle with inspo from Pinterest
⥠Crochet
⥠Color in a simple coloring book
⥠Playing video games with friends
⥠Build dream home in MinecraftÂ
⥠Watch tv shows or a movie
⥠Listen to a podcast
⥠Plan out outfits ( can try them on or take pics of them and add them into a note on phone)
⥠Clean out phone (empty out emails, clear all histories, get rid of any pictures not needed anymore, find a new wallpaper, rearrange apps)
⥠Re-arrange room
⥠Make jewelry - beading
⥠Go through old stuff of mine and find new joy in it
⥠Watch YouTube (even re-watch old YouTube videos)
⥠Make new goals
⥠Read through magazines and make collages from the pics
⥠Try new hairstyles or makeup looks
⥠Go on photowalks ( walk around and take pics of things that are beautiful - great way to romanticize life)
my dopamine menu â Ë・âŕ¨ŕ§â Ë・â
i remember seeing this as a trend a while ago: people sharing their lists of little things that bring them happiness; i think itâs such a sweet concept âcause it reminds us to appreciate moments that quietly shape our well-being â itâs easy to overlook them, but they truly make a difference. so, i decided to make my own and i hope it inspires you to notice the tiny joys in your own life too! love you all <3
appetizers ~ effortless activities that bring comfort without requiring much energy
making boards on pinterest
lighting a scented candle
lying in bed, scrolling through tumblr girlblogs
doodling random stars and spirals in my notebook
drinking hot chocolate or strawberry milk
main course ~ perfect balance between relaxation and stimulation
spend hours creating stories that i plan to turn into films
everything shower and all that clean girl night routine stuff
listen to music with my earphones in the backseat of the car
organize my bookshelf
writing on my journal like sofia coppola would find it someday and make a movie about me
desserts ~ just like a sweet treat, i shouldnât do it always â but they still make me instantly happy, even if theyâre a little indulgent
blasting to lana unreleased at 3am
listen to my tiktok saved audios and pretend iâm in an edit (i know you do it too)
buy something from my wishlist
when i forget to do my homework but the teacher forgets about it too so i feel relieved
specials ~ specific things that fill my heart with with joy
watching twilight on a rainy day
make fake freckles on my face (i feel like beabadoobee lol)
when i see a kitten in my backyard and they donât run from me
listen to a whole new album for the first time and feel every emotion of the songs
my dopamine menu: summer edition
--------------------------------
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sew something small (an easy top, makeup pouch, book cover)
go shelling at the beach
junk journal or scrapbook
learn a new language: practice my tagalog and french
organize bikinis by color
take a walk somewhere new
go window shopping down a nice street
try a new ice cream flavor
try a new exotic fruit
see the early morning sun over the water
outdoor yoga
farmers markets & flea markets
coloring books (bonus points if you do a cafe solo date)
paint your nails something fun
curate a new recipe, try it later
make a pinterest board on a new vibe
--------------------------------
love, kate
Gently Lead Yourself out of a Slump Ë ŕź ŕłâ・Ë
Finding yourself in a slump after a productive streak has to be one of the worst feelings in the world. I wrote an entire series in two days, most of it on the first day, and now I feel awful because I pushed myself.
Toxic productivity is more like it. I stayed up longer than I shouldâve, and I pushed physical boundaries while others were pushing my mental and emotional boundaries and myself as well. Not a good combination.
Even the simplest things felt like too much. Laundry, replying to people, and talking to people in general. So I wondered what I should do⌠because I still needed to write, because this is my fun time, my hobby.
Do you actually want to get out of a slump or are you comfortable?
If you read this entire post, save it however and then youâre like, âyep Iâm gonna come back to this,â knowing deep down youâre not, thereâs your answer. Comfort can be tricky. But if you have goals, youâre going to need to step out of it and choose what you know you should do over than what youâd rather do if it isnât benefiting you.
Accountability
This is where I take the time to be honest about why I'm feeling this way and I rounded it up to this:
Lack of physical activity
Overuse of my phone
Other people
Poor diet
Myself
Change your perspective - productivity isnât meant to drain you. If thatâs how you see it, no wonder you feel stuck. Think about the life you want, feel into it, and let that lead you. If the destination feels good, the journey should too.
Focus on small wins - watching a video and thinking, âIâm gonna have the perfect routine nowâ my days are gonna be perfect because Iâm gonna follow these stepsâ is the fastest way to crash again.
Stretch - the most basic, but necessary thing. I want to improve my physical health, but I know that jumping back into working out will do more harm than good, most likely pulling me into a deeper slump.
Youtubeâs such a good kickstart for me â I see them doing their thing and Iâm instantly up doing mine. Especially Alessya, since she talks mental health too.
Drink water but add electrolytes (which for critical for many bodily functions) to it by incorporating ingredients like sea/himalayan salt, honey, lemon or lime juice, or even drink coconut water if you have it on hand. Magnesium, calcium, potassium & sodium.
Grab a pen and paper or open a blank document and just write - anything at all. Let it out. Then take a moment to clear your physical space. Make your bed, tidy a shelf, sweep or vacuumâ whatever helps you create a sense of clarity and calm.
Be intentional - I know I just said to turn your phone off, but if you donât, at least change what youâre consuming. Play some uplifting music, watch fun or lighthearted YouTube videos, whatever helps. Avoid anything that feels negative, even if itâs meant to be a joke. Just steer clear.
Go outside - feel the ground, the breeze, the sun or moon on your skin. Be here - this momentâs the only one that matters right now.
Challenge yourself. Shake up your routine and build momentum, something small to look forward to. Try a new recipe, draw daily for a few days, or cut your screen time a bit. Little shifts help you feel in control again.
Do something you love - music, sketching, dancing, whatever feels good. It eases pressure, rebuilds energy, and reminds you who you are beyond the moment. I use a dopamine menu and pick something based on my energy: low, medium, or high effort.
Remember the hard part is starting but once you do, everything else flows almost effortlessly <3
@urdreamgirlangel 444 more !
I hate dating: is a 48h seen the most disrespectful thing, am i being ghosted or i am dramatically too attached to someone iâve never seen and this is a normal slow paced?
Being 25 is wild: i feel like my whole world collapsed but also i never had so much freedom with my lifechoice. I feel iâm at an important crossroad but iâm so confused and lost about what to do
A âGlow-Up Dayâ Itinerary for When You Need a Total Reboot
by Soleau Club / www.soleauclub.com
We all have those weeks. Too much stress, not enough sleep, your nails are chipped, your mindset is off, and your energy feels flat. When life starts to feel heavy, the best thing you can do is pause and give yourself a full-body, full-mind reset.
This isnât about being productive for the sake of checking boxes. This is about reclaiming your glow. Your power. Your sparkle. Sometimes all it takes is one intentional day to shift everything.
Here is your curated Glow-Up Day itinerary for when you need to reset, realign, and re-enter the world as that girl.
8:00 AM: Wake Up and Hydrate Before You Touch Your Phone
Start the day with a tall glass of mineral or lemon water. Sip it slowly while you open the windows, make your bed, and reconnect with your space. No scrolling. No stress. Let your nervous system wake up gently.
8:30 AM: Move Your Body Intuitively
This is not about burning calories. This is about reconnecting with your body. Choose a workout that feels nurturing. A slow pilates flow. A walk outside. A stretch to your favorite playlist. Get your blood moving and your energy flowing.
9:30 AM: Skin and Shower Ritual
Do the full routine. Dry brush. Shower slowly. Exfoliate. Shave. Moisturize like you are preparing for a photoshoot. Use body oils, firming creams, and perfume. Romanticize this. The goal is to feel expensive and polished before you even leave the bathroom.
10:15 AM: Nourish Yourself with a Glow-Up Breakfast
Think clean, colorful, and hydrating. A green smoothie with collagen and chia. Or avocado toast with greens and lemon. Eat without distractions. Set the tone for how you want to be treated today.
11:00 AM: Get Ready Like Itâs an Occasion
Pick a vibe. Maybe itâs model-off-duty. Maybe itâs polished CEO. Do your makeup. Style your hair. Put on an outfit that fits your fantasy self. Looking good helps you feel good and feeling good helps you get back in alignment.
12:00 PM: Journal and Recalibrate
Write out everything thatâs been overwhelming you. Then make two lists:
⢠What youâre letting go of
⢠What youâre stepping into
Give yourself permission to rewrite your narrative. Today is a reset. You are not behind. You are becoming.
1:00 PM: Do a Mini Environment Glow-Up
Tidy your room. Light a candle. Throw out clutter. Wipe down your mirror. Your space reflects your state of mind. Keep it sacred and beautiful.
2:00 PM: Run a Hot Girl Errand
Pick one thing youâve been putting off. Return the package. Go to the post office. Pick up groceries. Take yourself to a coffee shop and romanticize the routine. Youâll feel so much lighter after doing one thing youâve been avoiding.
4:00 PM: Screen-Free Timeout and Walk
Leave your phone at home or on do not disturb. Go for a slow walk and breathe. Let yourself unplug. Observe the world around you. This is where clarity comes in.
6:00 PM: Self-Care Wind Down
Take a bath or do a face mask. Light your favorite scent. Reflect on how much better you already feel. You donât need a new life. You just need to come back to yourself.
7:30 PM: Glow Dinner and Gentle Night Routine
Eat something nourishing and grounding. Hydrate. No blue light. No TikTok scrolling in bed. Listen to a podcast or journal your wins from the day. Go to sleep early, knowing you gave your future self the gift of a beautiful reset.
Want to Make This Your New Normal?
If one day can make you feel this good, imagine what 84 days can do. The 3-Month Rebranding Program is your full mind-body-energy makeover. It is designed for the girl who wants to glow on purpose and take her soft girl lifestyle to main character levels.
Inside youâll get:
đ 84 daily lessons for your mindset, body, style, and self-worth
đ˛ A free Notion-style xTiles digital workbook you can use on your phone or laptop
đ A gorgeous 40-page printable workbook for journaling, goal-setting, and lifestyle design
đ¸ Hot girl homework to rewire your routines into luxury habits
Youâre not behind. You are just one aligned decision away from a completely new version of you.
⨠Click here to start your rebrand today. Letâs glow together.
The 6 Month Project
the concept of 'glowing up,' is a popular one. a simple idea that you can change yourself, and be more attractive. and now i can't pretend that the idea of 3 month, 2 months and 1 week glow ups haven't motivated me. of course, there's some truth in drinking 2 litres of water and sleeping 8 hours, that brings a change to your life. but i want to focus on something bigger, more than just simply appearance. i want to turn my life around and be me again. so this is my plan for the 6 month project.
step 1) establish goals
whilst i'm sure that success is possible without absolute direction, i'm not willing to risk my chances. therefore the first good step to any project, is to establish the goals or what i want by the end of these 6 months.
to make everything absolutely organized i split all my goals into 7 areas:
physical health (this refers to diet, sleep, exercise)
image (skincare, haircare, style, makeup, etc.)
finances/current career
future career (networking, becoming a linkedin warrior, etc.)
hobbies
intelligence (any sort of learning, or hobbies that push me further)
mental health (coping mechanisms, general wellbeing, managing stress)
step 2) research
this step, i'd argue is the most time consuming. for every goal, i did a bit of research to fully understand how i could achieve it. for example, for the 'physical health' goals, i researched how to sleep better and how to eat a more balanced diet. or for 'image,' i researched skincare and different styles to figure out which one fits me. although, this can be done in extreme detail, i've tried to not use this step as a tool to procrastinate actually getting started
step 3) make a timeline
to make sure that i stayed on track with all my goals, and due to the sheer amount of steps/goals i made a timeline. as to not overwhelm myself, i decided on picking up around 4/5 habits everyday, cutting out 3 negative things and doing one off changes (mostly to appearance) once a week.
step 4) start
with nothing else left to plan or prepare, simply start.